Nathan blinked out of his trance and took in the new picture before him. She had returned, he thought he scared Brooke away. He had that affect on people; it was something that he just recently recognized. "She said she missed her son."
Brooke had so much to say to Nathan at this moment, but he was not worth her time, he did not deserve it. Lucas watched as Brooke passed him and she trekked up the stairs. The closest Haley could get to Jamie right now was in his room. She found her in his bed once more, a déjà vu scene she wished she did not have to see again, it showcased how broken and pained her friend was, and it was a picture she did not want embedded in her mind.
It took Haley a few seconds to even register Brooke was in her presence again, she thought that her harsh words were going to keep Brooke away. Apparently she was wrong, "I thought you left," was her first acknowledgement of Brooke's presence.
"I forgot something," Brooke said sitting down on Jamie's bed as Haley's form did not even change.
"What is that?" she questioned curiously.
"You," Brooke said truthfully. She should have never left the house without Haley. No matter if Haley had cited that she could handle the situation. Brooke knew too well that Haley's vision was blocked; it was unfair for Brooke to accept the words as truth and run away from the situation. Unfortunately, she was conditioned.
"I shall remain forgettable," she said for the first time making eye contact with Brooke.
"You forgot the prefix in that one my dear, I remembered something from high school English. I could never forget you permanently. It was a misstep for me to leave prematurely."
"I told you to."
"I shouldn't have listened to you. I was wrong."
"Brooke, I am a lost cause."
"I am never going to give up on you," Brooke moved hair out of Haley's face so the conviction in her eyes was proof. "Never believe you are alone."
"I guess not today."
"Not today, not tomorrow," Brooke reaffirmed.
"I thought that you weren't coming back."
"Well for once I know more than the Tutor girl, I knew I was."
There was a smile on her face, it was small, and it was still sad, but it was a smile, and it confirmed to Brooke it was the right decision to come back. "Let's go," Brooke said when she was sure Haley was ready, tugging ever so slightly to get her moving.
"I just want to stay in Jamie's bed, and hold onto him."
"Well, how about we do something even better than holding onto his covers and stuffed animals. How about you hold Jamie all afternoon?"
This got Haley on her feet, though unstable from exhaustion, "I have to change my clothes. I have to be presentable. This is the first time his teachers are going to see me. What are they going to think of me? I need to take a shower, fix my hair, and makeup to cover up the entirety of my life" trying to list all the necessities she left were needed for her to be herself – or the prepackaged version.
"Haley the only person who matters is Jamie, and he will love you with or without makeup. He loves you regardless of the life you are trying to cover up," calming Haley with a comforting hand.
"I am not ready for the world to see me yet."
"Fair enough. How about we impress that world then with some clothes from a famous designer? You might know her by name, Brooke Davis."
Another faint smile appeared on Haley's face, it was brief, but it was there. Haley had not smiled in months; her lips were not used to the change in expression. Brooke cradled Haley as they walked down the stairs.
Brooke wanted to speak with Lucas before they left; she wanted to see what he was planning on doing. Lucas was fixated on the couch next to Nathan, neither of them spoke, silence radiated in the room. "Luke?" broke it. "We are going to go. Are you coming or are you staying?" She would prefer if he left with them, Nathan didn't deserve any company in her opinion. But it didn't really matter.
"I think I am going to stay."
"We will be back later," and with that the two successfully made it out the house without any hesitance from Haley.
Once they got in the car, Brooke informed Haley she could pick something out of the bag in the backseat. She was hoping that Haley didn't recognize the magazine stack as a makeshift car seat for Jamie. She didn't but found an outfit she liked. "Can we go to Lucas' to change?"
"I don't see why not. Maybe we can catch up Lindsey on all of it."
"I have been such a horrible friend to her lately."
"I think she understands Haley."
"Luke and Lindsey are all I have in Tree Hill," this hit Brooke harder than she thought it would. But the truth sometimes hurt, "and I keep pushing them away."
"They didn't go away, they are willing to help."
"I don't deserve it."
"I think they would tell you differently," Brooke said as they pulled into Lucas's driveway. "But you can find out for yourself if you want to."
Brooke watched as Haley slowly got opened her door, holding on tightly to the new outfit. It was as if Haley had never been to Lucas' before, that she feared what was inside. Lindsey was the only one inside, but then Brooke realized it. Haley didn't fear Lindsey; she feared the severity and finality of it all. It was the finality of how things had been going, and she didn't know how to change.
Brooke made it to Haley, and put a comforting arm around Haley's small waist, "Welcome back, Haley."
"Welcome back to where?"
"Your old life."
Lindsey had heard the doors closing and went to the window to see who it was. Lucas called her earlier updating her on what was happening. She hadn't heard for him in awhile, and she was expecting him to show up. It shocked her to see Haley with Brooke. The last time Haley was in the house was before Nathan's accident. She realized then that Brooke already seemed like a good person to be around. She brought out the best in people, and she would even admit that held true for Lucas. She opened the door before the girls had an opportunity to knock. She had to admit that she had never seen this version of Haley. The version she always saw was manufactured, appearing as if she could handle it all. This Haley was the original, unmanufactured – and she hated to admit it but she liked this version better, this one was real.
The second that Haley saw the look on Lindsey's face she realized that there was no animosity. She was hesitant to approach, but Lindsey put her arms around Haley, and spoke into her ear, "It is good to see you out of the house."
"It took a lot of pleading, and pulling," Brooke informed Lindsey making eye contact. It was now that Brooke realized how close the two were. It hit her that in her absence Lindsey had taken over the coveted best friend role. It must be hard on Lindsey to watch Haley experience this and feel so helpless.
As she left the embrace, "Well I am glad it worked."
"Brooke is pretty stubborn. And she always gets what she wants," it wasn't offensive, it was the truth. And it was statement of their past, registering that it was still there, and she was willing to return to it if necessary.
"Let's go get you changed," Brooke tried; she thought she should get to Jamie's school before there were too many obstacles.
"I am pretty sure I can change myself," Haley informed her.
"Okay, well we are going to be a big girl now, call if you need any assistance," Brooke watched Haley walk away. Once she disappeared she looked at Lindsey. There was a sense of relief written over her face, but it was not premature, Lindsey's face also held a world of sorrow for her friend. "How you doing?"
This question surprised Lindsey, "Me? How am I doing?"
"That was the question."
"Honestly, my emotions are a little mixed."
"How come?"
"I have not seen Haley out of the house in a very long time, which is so good. I tried so hard, but she would not leave his side."
"Like Haley said, I am pretty stubborn," she wasn't sure if she should apologize for completing a task that Lindsey failed to attempt.
"I didn't want to be the hero, Brooke. I am glad she is out, regardless of who got her here. It is just," she paused, trying to determine what she wanted to say to yesterday's stranger, "I am not part of her history, I couldn't give her what she needed." It was out, Lindsey didn't know how to heal Haley, and she felt guilty.
"I really hope that you do not in some way think any fault belongs to you. And you don't give yourself enough credit; you are certainly part of her history. You have gotten her to this point now."
"And look how well I did."
"Lindsey, this is not your fault for how things are."
"You were able to do something I never have," she looked at Brooke who pleadingly asked what it was, "you have gotten her to expose herself."
"It was a fluke."
"You don't give yourself enough credit."
"I don't deserve credit. The reason she is still so raw and exposed is because I interrupted it all. I broke with the tradition of the day, and I saw her when no one was supposed to be there. And I didn't let her cover up."
"That is what she needed, Brooke, more than anything, was for someone to come in and not allow herself to hide."
"It could have been anyone."
"But it was you." And it was Brooke, she was the one who broke the barriers, who broke through and grabbed Haley before she was able to return. It was Brooke.
"I realized today that in my absence she had a good support system. She would not have been able to even get to this point without Luke, the River Court Boys, and you, Lindsey. You are her best friend."
"But I didn't get her out of the house."
"She wasn't ready before today, it wasn't my doing."
"You must be crazy to think that. It has everything to do with you, Brooke."
She had a purpose coming here, maybe her calling home wasn't about herself, maybe it was about Haley all along. "Are you angry with me?"
Lindsey realized that her ranting might have been seen as envious towards Brooke for being able to achieve something that she hadn't been successful at, but it wasn't true. She just wanted to make sure that Brooke saw the impact she had made, "Of course not, Brooke. You have been able to pull a good friend of mine out of the darkness, and I am grateful to you."
"I am grateful to you for watching her while I was gone. She deserves someone like you. I walked away and I didn't look back. You have never left her side."
"You are not very good at accepting compliments are you?" Lindsey questioned her. She was not used to them; it was normally insults or bickering pointing out something that was wrong. Brooke was never told of her successes or her well doings – according to Victoria she had none.
Her extended pause and Haley's reappearance allowed Brooke to avoid the question, "How do I look?"
"Like a mother that loves his son."
"That was the look I was going for," Haley held out a hand to Brooke, "thank you."
"You may have as many clothes as you want. You are a hot momma."
"Not for the clothes. Well of course for the clothes, but more for taking me to see Jamie, and for opening my eyes a little. I have been blind to it all, I will admit that now. Thank you for giving me the sight to see again." Then she turned to Lindsey, she had secretly overheard a majority of the conversation between Lindsey and Brooke. "I wanted to thank you as well," she saw Lindsey begin to protest, "No, you cannot even try to rebut it. You could at any point have said that it was too much, but you never backed down from all of the requests I bestowed upon you. I know that this could not have been easy on your relationship with Lucas."
Lindsey was able to cut in, "It made it even stronger, Haley. I could thank you for that. Some days I wonder who Lucas loves more, me or you," she saw Haley's face and realized it came out wrong. "What I was trying to say is that Lucas loves you so much, and I have never been jealous of this love. I have seen the capacity of his love, and it solidified mine for him. I knew I could always love a man with so much passion for another."
"I always thought I was being a burden."
"You are our friend, it was never a burden. Please, never think that."
"I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for you and Luke."
"So don't think that way. I am here. Luke is here."
"So am I."
"Brooke is here. You have so many people who love you and Jamie. We are here."
"And I am not going anywhere this time, Haley," when she said this statement it was pure confirmation that she wasn't going back to New York. Well as least not for now. Success only gets you so far, and it brought her back to Tree Hill. New York was filled with money and glamour. The only thing she ever needed was love, and she was sure she saw it in Haley's eyes. She never had to leave to find it; it was at home after all.
"What about your world?"
"My world is right here, right now," this led to another hug from Haley. In actuality to Haley, she would try and sneak in as many as possible. Warm arms were something that was lacking in the last several months, something she was sure missing.
"Well if that is true, can we take your world to mine? I want to see Jamie so bad," another glimmer of hope, some one other than Nathan was on her current mindset. And the thought of Jamie accompanied a smile.
"Of course, let's go," Brooke said seeing Haley's excitement. She looked over at Lindsey in the process and realized she was still overwhelmed with the situation. "Actually, Hales, can I meet you in the car, I wanted to change. I mean this is the first time Jamie's teachers are seeing me too. And I wore this yesterday."
"Good idea," Haley agreed, "Linds, I promise I will not let another four months go by without me coming here," giving her a hug, and departing to Brooke's car.
Brooke watched closely as Haley walked out and turned to Lindsey, whose face was plastered in pure concern. Haley was acting giddy, as a child, and it scared her. This was not Haley, and even if it was better than the former, this façade could only hold up so long – until she cracked. Brooke said the only words that she thought were necessary at the moment, "Things are going to get better." In the darkest of days, the only thing that keeps anyone going is that glimmer that tomorrow will be better.
"How can you say that? How can you believe it?" Lindsey's emotions could not be hidden on her face. She didn't understand how Brooke could see tomorrow, when they were stuck in today.
"What else do you have to choose? Haley's unhappiness? Another downward spiral? I just thought you would rather choose hope. I just thought you might have needed to hear it."
"I'm scared, Brooke. I am just scared," there was nothing else that she could say, it was the truth. She was scared for the moment, the situation, and for her friend.
"You have nothing to fear. Haley has always been the strongest person I have ever known. This is a bump, only a bump in the road. She will get past it all. She has a great friend in you and a family in Lucas." Haley has always been the rock in everything, and Brooke didn't want to admit it to Lindsey, but she scared too. Rocks sometimes crumble, and those pieces never quite fit together again.
"And she has you," repeating Brooke's previous words.
"And she has me, if it means anything at all."
"It means everything."
When the talk gets turned to Brooke she shuts down. She has been avoiding it her whole life. She was not going to open up to a girl she met yesterday. "Well, I have to go back to Haley," she starts to walk away, but is stopped by Lindsey's words.
"If you are ever willing, I'm here to talk to you about whatever you are running from," how could she possibly know that Brooke was a runaway from her own truth and struggles. How could she possibly know?
Brooke turned and the look on Lindsey's face cemented it all, she knew. And maybe Brooke's eyes confirmed there was a truth, but she wouldn't let her words do it. "Haley is waiting," and she left the room, slightly overwhelmed. She was sure she could escape it at home; she could escape what sent her running here. But she wasn't so sure anymore. She only had a moment to recompose herself for Haley. She decided then it would always be about Haley. When she was sure that Haley's life was turning around, she would slip out of Tree Hill. No one missed her in four years; they wouldn't miss her after she left again. That was her plan, but first she had to keep her promise to her broken friend and her little boy.
Haley was so excited that she didn't even acknowledge that Brooke had not changed her clothes. Brooke had to smile at Haley's childish joy, "I think there is a little boy waiting on his momma."
The car trip was short, and it was silent. The overwhelming truths of the moment could never be touched on the way to Haley's first bout of happiness in months. It would not be fair to Haley, and more than anyone it would be unfair to Jamie.