AN: I have to brace you all, you might not like this version at chapter's end. That being said, please enjoy.
Brooke expected Haley to jump out of the car the second they pulled up at Jamie's school, but this didn't happened. As Brooke unhooked her own seatbelt, she noticed Haley had not moved, or even attempted to undo her own. She placed a hand on Haley's shoulder, to somehow wake her into reality, "Haley, we are here."
Haley didn't say anything, but with Brooke's hand on her shoulder, she was brought back down into reality. She felt like a stranger in her own life. How did this happen? She was now the neglectful mother visiting her son. She never wanted to be this mother. She swore on the day of his birth, that she would love him unconditionally forever. Forever was not over, and though she loved him with every ounce and morsel of her heart, she was not sure Jamie knew it. She had been a terrible mother to her son. He should know how much he was loved, and she wasn't sure he did. She had failed on her vows to him.
"Haley, honey, what is the matter? We are here. Don't you want to see Jamie?" Brooke was concerned now, just minutes ago Haley was in a childish oblivion, and now she was in shock. How could just minutes change everything? She took back her thoughts. She knew too well that minutes could change everything. They had already taken place, and Haley, and Nathan, and Jamie's world was changed within minutes. There was no reason why the same couldn't happen for Haley now.
Haley looked at Brooke, with tears welling in her eyes, "I don't know if my son knows how much I love him."
"Oh, Haley, he knows that no one loves him more than his mom."
"I haven't been there for him."
"But he knows how much you love him," she was sure that she had this conversation with her earlier in Jamie's bedroom.
"How can he possibly know when I am always sending him out of the house? I am always sending him away."
"You have his best interest in mind."
"I want to have him in my arms."
"You will, let's go inside."
"I don't know if I can do this, Brooke," Brooke wasn't sure how her friend could shut down like this. Haley clearly said that more than anything she wanted to be with her son. But now that she had the opportunity she would not get out of the car. Brooke never knew the love a mother could have for a child, but she was sure good parents would drop everything to be able to see their child. All Haley had to do was open the door, why was it so hard?
"All you want is Jamie, and he is inside those doors. What is so hard?" She still didn't understand. Jamie was inside, why couldn't she just go inside?
Haley had turned away again to gather her thoughts, but when her glance returned to Brooke, the tears had escaped, and as they trickled down her cheeks, she spoke her greatest fear, "What happens if he doesn't want me?
Brooke's heart crumbled, the pain in her friend's eyes, and the words she spoke, they broke her heart, "Oh, Haley, you are all he wants." She got out of the car, opened Haley's door, unbuckled her seatbelt, helped her up, and embraced her, "you are all he wants," she repeated, and let Haley silently sob until she was ready.
When she was ready she wiped her tears away, she couldn't damage Brooke's clothes, and she couldn't alter her manufactured appearance. She had to look presentable to Jamie's teachers, and more than everything, she had to look presentable to Jamie. "I'm ready now," Haley informed Brooke.
Brooke hooked arms with Haley, "Let's go then," as the duo walked into the school. Brooke opened the door, and Haley walked in first. It was fate, but Jamie's class was walking through the hall. The instant the door had opened, Jamie turned his eyes, and what he saw was what he wanted all along. He saw his mother, and he jutted from the line, and was scooped up by his mother's loving and wanting arms.
Brooke saw Jamie's teacher approach the reunited duo, and she did not want anyone to interrupt this time. She extended her hand, "I'm Brooke Davis. Jamie is my godson and that there is his mother who missed him very much."
"That is Mrs. Scott?" she questioned.
"Yes, ma'am. Why are you so surprised?" she was now almost insulted by this lady's inquiry.
"She is just so put together, nice clothes, makeup. I just assumed that the reason she wasn't around was…"
She didn't get a chance to finish her assumption, Brooke wouldn't let her. How dare she assume that Haley was neglectful based on her current appearance. This lady had no idea what was underneath Haley's clothes or in her home. "She is here now, isn't that enough?"
Jamie's teacher realized she had overstepped, "I'm sorry. I should know better. Jamie is such a good kid; it just breaks my heart to see him so sad all of the time."
"He has been through a lot lately."
"I just thought that his mom would be more active in his life."
"How dare you say that? How dare you say that about Haley? Maybe she hasn't been to his school, but Jamie is the only thing on her mind every day. How dare you say that she is not active in his life? He is her main concern in this life, and she spends every day protecting him."
"It just would have been nice to know what was going on."
"You have no right to know," Brooke was becoming defensive now.
"Ms. Davis, I think we are getting off on the wrong foot. My main concern is Jamie as well, so I am looking out for his well-being. When he comes to school with that sad face of his, I want to make sure that his mother is not the reason for his tears."
"She is the one to wipe them away," she said adamantly. She had to step back though before she said something she regretted. This teacher was concerned about Jamie; Brooke should not be down her throat. It was pure concern for the boy, and though Brooke knew the truth in the situation, there is a possibility that parents do cause little boy's tears. Just not Jamie's mother, just not Haley.
"I'm sorry that I have seemed to upset you."
"I apologize as well; I should have noted that your concern was for Jamie, and that is all."
"I am glad that Mrs. Scott came here today, I can clearly see that it is what he needed. I have not seen him this happy. Please forgive my comments."
"If you can forgive mine."
"I can see that you care about your godson a lot," she wished that she had cared about him for his last five years, not just the last 15 hours. But if this lady could see her pure admiration radiating, then she was on the right path to recovering from lost time.
"More than anything."
"Well, my aide just took the class to Art. Is Jamie going to be going home with you?"
Brooke hadn't thought that much ahead of time. All she wanted was for Haley to hold onto Jamie, and that is as far as she got. She looked over at Jamie and Haley in tight embrace. Brooke wasn't sure if Haley was every going to let go.
Jamie broke the embrace, and said something Brooke didn't want him to say, "Who is watching Daddy?" He knew too well, that Nathan couldn't be left alone. The reason Haley was void in Jamie's life was because she had to watch him. If she was here, where was he?
Haley had briefly forgotten about Nathan, but Jamie's reminder was that she had left Nathan when he needed her. Nathan needed her.
When Haley didn't answer, Brooke interjected, "Your Uncle Lucas is watching him for a little bit, Buddy."
"But I thought only you could watch him, Momma," it was the only lie Haley had ever told to her son. But it wasn't really a lie, it was what she believed. When Jamie begged her to do things, she told him she was the only one who could watch his Daddy. No one else could handle him, only her. It was what she believed.
Brooke had to answer again, she was seeing color leave Haley's face, and she was afraid this reunion would be short lived, "Your momma decided to let your Uncle Lucas have a try because she really wanted to see you."
Jamie bought Brooke's response, but Haley didn't, and it scared Brooke. How could Haley be so fixated on Nathan, when there was a loving little boy that wanted Haley's time? She couldn't let her fear show though, Jamie grabbed Brooke and Haley's and looked up at his teacher, "Miss Jacobs, can I show my Aunt Brooke and my Momma our room?"
"I think they would love that," giving the little boy a smile he deserved.
"Haley, wouldn't that be great if we see Jamie's classroom," Brooke said trying to bring her back to her current reality. They were at Jamie's school now; Haley could not be lost in her thoughts of Nathan's needs.
"I want to see your desk, your cubby, everything," Haley feigned it. She had to, though she loved her son more than anything, Nathan resided on her mind. It wasn't her fault; she had become conditioned by this accident.
Brooke didn't believe it, but for the sake of Jamie, she was going to feign it as well. He was purely and utterly happy, and no one should take away a little boy's happiness.
After Jamie had shown them everything from his favorite pencil to the class gerbil, Haley's uneasiness about leaving Nathan was getting to her. "Can I come home with you now?" Jamie asked. He excelled at school, a lot of credit belonging to Haley, but school didn't matter to him right now. Nothing really did.
Brooke thought she was going to have to answer for Haley again, but Haley spoke before Brooke had a chance to come up with a good response, "Actually, Honey, I think it would be best if you stayed at school. I wouldn't want you to miss anything."
"C'mon Haley, it is kindergarten, what can the boy miss? The alphabet? A comes before z, okay Jamie."
"I know my ABCs," Jamie informed his godmother.
"See, Haley, he is a genius. He doesn't need kindergarten. He can miss one day."
"C'mon, Momma, please."
The look on Jamie's face would have won most over. It had won Brooke into buying $250 worth of ice cream – the best $250 of her life. But it couldn't win Haley over. Jamie was safe at this school, the second he left it, she wasn't so sure. She couldn't even be sure that she was safe enough for him. So she crumbled inside, but kept her ground on the outside, "I'm sorry Jamie, but it would be best if you stayed at school today."
A disappointed Jamie responded, "This is about Daddy isn't it?"
"No, Sweetie, this is about a little boy who is supposed to be in school."
"I don't believe you. You just want to go home to Daddy."
"It isn't like that Jamie. If I could, I would take you with me."
"Why can't you, Haley? Jamie obviously wants to spend time with you. One day of school will not blemish his future academics. He has good genes, I promise you. I missed lots of days of school, and look how great I turned out," this statement was said in hopes of a smile or laughter. Brooke didn't get either.
"Why can't you, Momma?" Jamie asked hoping his attempt would fare better.
"Because I said so," four awful, retched words that only wicked parents used as excuses for their reasoning. Why were those words coming out of Haley's mouth?
"It isn't fair," Jamie whimpered.
"Well a lot of things aren't fair. But you have to live with it," Brooke was surprised with Haley's word choice and tone towards Jamie.
"Haley," Brooke tried.
"Jamie, you are going to stay her, do you understand?"
"I wish Daddy's accident never happened," Jamie was close to tears with his last attempt to reel Haley back in.
"I know you miss your daddy," Haley tried recover from her missteps.
But that wasn't the route he was taking, "No, I miss you," it was the breaking point in Haley's agony. Her son couldn't see her anymore. What had she become?
"Umm, your Uncle Skillz will get you after school," she was backing away from him, "I will see you after basketball practice," it would be safe then, and she was at the door, "I love you Jamie," and she was out of sight.
Brooke bent down to put Jamie is her arms, "she loves you so much it hurts her, Jamie," reassuring the boy of his mother's love.
"I think I know that, but some days, I wish she would pick me instead of him."
She spoke to the boy's eyes, "She isn't choosing sides, Buddy."
"Then why does she spend all of her time with him?" it left Brooke stumped. She knew the adult response, but she didn't know the child proof answer.
"She loves you, Jamie."
"Yeah, I know," Brooke followed the same process that Haley had, backing up not wanting to leave the boy, but knowing she had to. She waved goodbye and went off to find Haley. He was safe, Haley on the other hand, not so much.
Haley hadn't made it to the car. She was on the front steps but there wasn't tears branded on her face as Brooke expected. She sat down and didn't say anything. At this point she was speechless.
"I yelled at him, Brooke. I gave him stupid excuses that I never thought I would. And I walked away when he needed me."
"He'll understand," she knew it wasn't the right choice of words, but it was all she had.
"When? After he hates me? Ten years from now when he forgives me for putting his father first. He shouldn't have to understand. He is too young. He should have two loving parents that put him first. Always put him first."
Brooke was going to try another approach. She couldn't always say what Haley wanted to hear. That would only get them so far, and definitely not far enough, "Then do it. Put him first," her harshness surprised herself, but it had to be done. Brooke was not going to baby the situation any further.
She was not expecting Brooke to say those words, but she couldn't believe that she hadn't thought of this option herself. But her thoughts returned to Nathan, they always seemed to return to him, "I can't."
"Why the hell not?" She said a little too loud, looking around remembering she was at an elementary school, "Why not?" she said softer.
"Nathan," was the only word Haley got out, because Brooke was going to give Haley a piece of her mind about Nathan.
"Nathan needs to get off of his ass and deal with the events of the last months. And you need to let him wake up alone. He has become dependent on you, and you let him."
"So this is my fault? It is my fault that Nathan has taken his passion for basketball and turned it to alcohol?"
"He made the decision himself, Haley. But you have catered to his needs."
"What else was I supposed to do?" she cried out in desperation. "He was one step away from the NBA, and one bad choice landed him in a wheelchair. The dream he worked so hard for was taken away from him."
"It did not give him the right to treat you like shit," she was very adamant about her stance. She didn't care if Nathan was her friend or her stranger.
"But he was in so much pain, Brooke," trying to reason with Brooke her personal position. All she wanted to do was help him heal. She could not see anything else.
"No matter how bad he was hurting, he had no right to make you experience your own pain. Don't you understand that this is not a loving relationship anymore?"
"But I married him in sickness and in health."
"I understand that he is sick, and you are protecting your vows to him. But this is a sickness he has brought on himself, he had control over the situation, and it could have been handled differently." She was trying to get Haley to understand that though she vowed to be with Nathan through anything, she didn't have to deal with Nathan's angry response to his accident. He had said the same vows, and he promised to love her regardless, "And I don't see him sticking to his vows he recited, why should you be held to yours?"
"I love him."
"Honey, I know you love it, it is evident. But how long can you be with a man who doesn't show the same love that you show him. You deserve to be loved, especially with how much love you are putting in."
"It is all I want."
"Then do something about it."
"I don't know how."
"Well that is where I come in. We are going to give Nathan an ultimatum: stop drinking and consciously attempt to pull yourself out of your rut, or Jamie and Haley are leaving."
"I can't do that to him, Brooke," she feared the result on the latter.
"Do you want what's best for Jamie?"
"You know the answer to that."
"Well, then I think you are going to have to dig deep inside that broken body of yours and fight with whatever strength you have left. You have to make the right choice for Jamie, and I think even more importantly, you have to make it for you."
Haley let those thoughts stand, but asked Brooke one of her own inquiries, "how long do you think I could have pretended I had everything under control if you hadn't miraculously showed up?'
"It is not something we have to worry about."
"I want to know though. How bad did it look from the outside?" she was curious now, no one had entered their lives since the accident. Everyone suited her urgencies, but Brooke came in, and she saw that this setup was not practical or supportive of Haley's wellbeing.
"It was pretty bad, Hale," she had to be honest, she knew that Haley didn't want lies. She needed the truth, so she could build up the necessary strength to overcome it all. Brooke's mind was filled with vivid memories from Haley's reemergence in her life. "Haley," she had to get her complete attention because she wanted Haley to understand Brooke's perspective, "I almost didn't recognize you. I mean I knew that it was you, but that tiny waist and those pain filled eyes covered up your former self. I wondered what happened to my friend."
"A lot has changed since you left."
"You can say that again."
"I can say the same about you too, Brooke. You are not the same person that left four years ago. Where is my Brooke?"
"You think I have changed? I am right here, Haley."
"Your smile is gone, and your figure is even tinier then your high school version."
Brooke wasn't ready for this to be turned around on her. Her plan was to escape before she was addressed. It was going to have to be a pretty damn good plan; it was the one she intended to use – for the rest of her life. "My smile is right here," she put a big, fake smile upon those ruby red lips. It hurt though; it was so painful to fake it. But it was something she was used to hiding – the pain beneath her clothes, the pain beneath her eyes.
Haley put a hand on Brooke's cheek, "What happened to you, Brooke?" Haley took a minute to look at Brooke, really look at her. She had been so wrapped up in herself and her family's issues that she hadn't been able to take time to see Brooke's broken self hidden underneath her couture clothes. Haley was so concerned over whether or not she would be able to grab a hold of her own life, she hadn't realized that Brooke was letting go of her own.
"Nothing happened. I am the same person I was four years ago," trying to shake Haley's notion that something was wrong. In Brooke's eyes nothing was, so the attention should be averted from her.
"If that is what you want to believe," Haley said getting up, "but as long as you are willing to avoid the real world, so will I. I need to go home to Nathan."
Brooke was in shock. All she was trying to do was help Haley and it had been turned on her. She got up to follow Haley. She had to let it slide. The more she tried to pretend that her pain was nonexistence, it would be clearly evident that it was flying freely.
She wasn't sure that anything had been accomplished coming to Jamie's school. A little boy's heart was broken, and his mother couldn't take the time to put the pieces back together. Brooke didn't want to blame Haley for Jamie's pain, but who was left on the list? She realized with all of her heart that Haley was entrapped in her own encasement of sorrow, a disillusioned life. But her son was crying out for her, and she left him. She left him to be with a man who berated her with words, and inflicted the abundance of her pain. Brooke didn't understand anymore. Haley couldn't even break out of her celled in life for Jamie, how the hell was Brooke going to give her the key?
AN: So who do you dislike more as of now, me or Haley? I swear that this is the not the final product of Haley. She is in unhealthy relationship, and she will soon realize it, as of now, she is trapped, trapped in the relationship and the thoughts she has about it. Oh, and another small piece was broken away on Brooke. She is going to do everything in her power to ensure that she is never in the limelight. Okay, so how do you think this is going? Is it too outlandish, or are you enjoying the process? Please let me know, it would mdan a lot to receive some more feedback. Peace.