AN: So I wasn't exactly pleased with the writing of the next chapter, so I wanted to get some - what I believe is - better words for you out there. Always, I just want to warn you about the events of this chapter. It is semi-heartbreaking...as they need anymore. Enjoy.
Haley opened the unlocked door and slowly walked to the living room, all of her fear had come back. She knew that Nathan would be livid for her leaving Lucas to babysit him. He hated it when Haley wouldn't leave him alone; imagine what would happen when she had his brother do the duty. She had to admit how wonderful it felt to be out of the house, and a sense of renewal had been experienced. But it was gone now. It was gone now when she saw Nathan. He had already taken so much away from her, but just being in his presence took away all of her strength. He was not sleeping. He wasn't yelling either. She looked over at Lucas and he was not pleased either. She wondered what had happened when she left, and did she leaving ruin all the progress she had made in the last several weeks?
When Lucas saw Haley he wondered where Brooke was. He expected her to be hand in hand with Haley helping her face the demons. But she was far behind. He was realizing – like the other members of Tree Hill – that something had brought Brooke home, and it wasn't to repair a family. It was to repair her heart. But once more, Haley needed to be at the forefront, and Brooke had to continue in the back seat. Lucas went to Haley; he simply had to hold her. He had been with Nathan for less than two hours and he could barely handle it. How in the world could Haley be put through this day after day? And how was she still walking? He saw her in a piece of clothing from Brooke's line, and she was hard to find. Now that he knew what just minutes with Nathan were like, he was going to make sure that Haley wouldn't anymore. He whispered into her ear, "I am so sorry, Hales."
Haley pulled away. Lucas's embrace wasn't going to heal anything. His arms felt warm, and they felt safe, but it wasn't enough. His arms were not going to be able to save her this time. She was going to face Nathan, and she was going to do it now.
But she wasn't given the opportunity, Lucas pulled her back, "We are leaving."
She was trying to break free, she couldn't just leave Nathan now, she had just gotten home, "Lucas, let go of me," she didn't understand why he was pulling her back when for the first time she had the strength to move forward.
He wasn't going to let her go back to him. He wasn't going to let her spend time with him. He wasn't going to let her put up with Nathan at all. "Haley, you are not staying here."
Lucas now was pulling Haley back by her waist, "I can't leave him alone," she didn't know how her emotions had returned, but they were back.
He didn't give her a chance, he lifted her up, and with her wailing he brought her past Brooke, and they left the house.
Brooke watched Lucas pull his best friend away from the situation. But she couldn't leave quite yet. She was going to do what Haley wasn't able to do. She was going to give Nathan his ultimatum.
She knew now why she was all alone in the world, without a friend or family member to hold her while she sobbed, or to put a smile on her face. She knew now that it was Victoria's divisive plan in which she had succeeded. Brooke was not going to let Nathan be the reason Haley experienced the same outcome. Haley wasn't going to be another statistic of a broken marriage. She was more than a statistic. She was Haley James Scott.
Brooke walked over to see Nathan lounging on the couch, beer cans surrounded him. It was before lunch and he was already at it. How did he have access to all of this alcohol, all of this poison? It was the only thing keeping him going from day to day, and Brooke realized it had to be Haley. All she was trying to do was to appease him, in the hopes that if he was appeased he would want her around. She feared that she was unwanted. Isn't that everyone's fear? He eyed her up, she felt disgusted. He disgusted her, "You are pathetic, you know that, right?"
"Lucas should have dragged you out of here like he did Haley. For once I am thankful for having him around."
Brooke was directly in front of him now, and she wasn't going to hold back. "So that is what you wanted? For Haley to be out of the picture?"
"I don't need her babying me."
"Well, I don't see you being able to do anything other than sleep and drink. And I'm sure that is all babies do as well. So I would side with Haley in this case."
"You are always going to side with Haley; it is that female bonding thing."
"It is because you are wrong, that is why I am siding with Haley. If I thought she was wrong then I would be siding with you."
"Oh, I feel so honored that you would side with me."
"You should feel honored; I would be the only one of your side."
"I don't need anyone on my side. I don't need anyone."
"Are you so sure about that?"
"I am positive."
"Okay, well than you can live with no one. You will have no one."
"Fine. I will finally have what I have wanted the last past months," it was hard for Brooke to hear that after she had seen Haley tremble as she had described the last four months of hell. And Nathan was just writing her off as his pain had been the only one.
"How many beer cans do you have left there, Nathan?"
"Why does that matter to you? Want one? I remember how you would drown your own sorrows in alcohol in high school. Lucas doesn't love me. My mommy and daddy don't love me. I remember your story, Brooke," he tossed her a beer.
His statement was factious, and as much as it hurt, it wasn't false. Her response to her gloom was alcohol, and now Nathan was using the same methods. She opened the beer, and took a big gulp. Brooke couldn't remember the last time she had had some, Victoria told her it was bad for her image, and her figure. As much as she didn't want to admit it, it tasted good. She was sure it wasn't for the actual flavor, but just how easily it could erase any pain she was experiencing. And there was a lot to cover up.
"There we go, the old Brooke Davis. You are the best company yet. Down that thing. You know what? I will even join you," he cracked open another beer.
All of her inhibitions and intentions were gone, and as with the reminder of an easily accessible pain eraser, she finished the yeast drink. For the last four years she felt as if she was out of control, and for the first time in a while, she was sure she held her own reigns.
Three beers later, she was already regretting it. Since high school she had been a light weight, that and her uncharacteristic binge had brought Brooke into her own drunken stupor, "You are an asshole, you know that," it was her thoughts, but not in the approach she had previously intended.
"I know it."
"Then why don't you change."
"Beer makes the world go round."
"It sure does," she says rising her can. "You don't deserve Haley," she was sure she said Haley, but the name came out as a slur.
"I probably don't. Not anymore."
"Then let her go."
"She is the one holding on."
"Very true," she agreed, "very true. What about Jamie?" oh that boy made her feel so guilty for drinking with his father right now. That boy would make her experience millions of emotions.
"I am Dan's son."
"But you are Jamie's father," a little Star Wars pronunciation caused her to giggle. She said it again, "Fajah."
"Haley and Jamie would be better without me."
"What about you?"
"Are you offering keeping me company," he put an arm around her.
She was brought back into reality. What the hell was she doing? What the hell was she thinking? Brooke pulled away from Nathan, "I need to go," she was up quickly trying to gather her things.
"You're drunk," he was trying to get her to stay.
"Not anymore," she said adamantly. Nathan's advance brought her out of her drunken stage. She painfully remembered why she quit drinking – other than Victoria's vicious comments – it hurt too much when your high was gone, and you went crashing to the ground. The ground was cold, it was hard, and you were all alone.
"Brooke," Nathan tried again to no prevail.
She turned around, and did what her previous intention had been, "Nathan. You have gotten what you wanted. You are alone. When you are ready to try to repair what is left with your marriage, and what is left of the broken outline of your former wife, you call me. If not, you can stay in the house, I am sure you will run out of beer. At that point you have two options, drown yourself in your own, pathetic misery. Or you can try and put your act together. Shave your face, take a shower, and see if you can salvage the damage you have done. The choice is yours, take all the time you need. It is all that you have right now." Her job was done, but it was filled with a guilt-ridden mistake.
As Brooke was walking out the door, Nathan shouted to her, "It is better alone."
"No, its not," Brooke said to herself alone. The words hurt worst when you are alone.
She tried to get the key to go into the keyhole, but her hands were shaking and they fell to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up her world went spinning. With a heavy sigh she picked up her pretty head and managed to open the door. Once inside, she looked in the mirror, how did a girl who betrayed her best friend look? Now she knew. How did the harrowing image of a little girl lost look? Brooke Davis was the poster child. Next she did something she was an expert at, she put on a face, composed herself and backed out of the driveway. At first she wasn't sure where she was going to go. Could she really face Haley right now? But without much choice, she drove herself back to Lucas' house.
Once she stepped out of the car, her damaging drunkenness had returned. She wasn't sure how she was able to drive home. Again, it was just three beers, but it was three more than her tiny body had had in a long while. And it was three beers too many.
She stumbled to the door that was attached to the kitchen. Lucas' door was no longer an option, she was still a stranger to this town, and she was still a stranger to Lucas' current life. That door was not meant for her – not anymore.
The door slammed louder than she had anticipated, and she closed her eyes to attempt to cover up the pain her pounding head was experiencing. "Sorry," she said to an empty kitchen. "Haley," she called, actually she shouted, "Haley, where are you?"
The person that came to her beckoning was not Haley, but another important female in Lucas' new life – Lindsey. She was in the room with Lucas and Haley, and had heard a loud entrance. She was the most probable person in the moment to see what was the ruckus was about. Lindsey was thoroughly surprised to see Brooke. She had expected her, but not like this. Not drunk.
"You're not Haley," Brooke bluntly pointed out, "Haley," she shouted again.
Lindsey quickly ended her shouting, by covering Brooke's mouth, and taking grip of her arm as she opened the door Brooke had just entered.
Brooke broke away, she did not like when she was not in control. Wait, that was always, the exception being when she was intoxicated. "Hey, what do you think you are doing? I wanted to talk to Haley."
"What the hell do you think you are doing?"
"I told you, I want to talk to Haley," she slowed her speech as to help Lindsey understand. It didn't work, Lindsey already knew.
"You are drunk. You are drunk, I cannot believe this."
"I am not drunk," another lie slipped from her lips. At least this time she had a reason.
"Okay, then what are you? Because you are obviously not stable."
"I am so," in actuality having to stand was weakening her balance, and she leaned up against her car and slid to the floor.
Lindsey was livid at this point, she was almost distraught, she could not believe that Brooke would walk into her house after drinking and talk to the person with the alcoholic spouse, "Really sensitive, Brooke. Did you think that Haley wouldn't notice your stupor? I mean her husband is an alcoholic, and you walk in reeking of cheap beer."
"I am pretty sure you bought the cheap beer," it was true. And as much as she hated contributing to Nathan's alcoholism, Haley insisted that Lindsey bought it for him when she bought the groceries. She didn't understand, but the desperation in Haley's voice put her over the edge. Whatever Haley wanted, that was what she was going to do.
"So you were drinking with Nathan, you playing both sides now?"
"Hey Missy," she was pointing a finger at Lindsey now, "he is hurting too."
"It was pretty evident earlier that you wanted Nathan to suffer from the pain Haley has accumulated. Now you are drinking buddies with her supplier?"
"You don't get it."
"What is there to get, Brooke? Haley had to be physically removed from her home to ensure her safety. And instead of following her here, you opted to stay with her harm. How do you think she feels?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know how she feels? I am not inside that head of hers," she tapped her own head to exemplify.
Lindsey wished she knew the answer to her own question. She was trying so hard, but it was so difficult to watch a friend digress and not to be able to do anything about it. She joined Brooke on the ground, the tempo had obviously changed. "Brooke, I just don't understand."
"What is to understand?"
"Instead of being here with Haley, you stayed and drank with Nathan, just adding to the insult of it all."
"I know why he does it."
"Does what? She wasn't sure what Brooke was getting at.
"I know why he drinks."
"We all know why he drinks, Brooke. He is using it to fire his anger. He is using it as a way to avoid what has happened. He is trying to cover up his pain with another poison."
"It doesn't cover it up, it takes it all away. It just takes it all away," tears escaped from her eyes. She knew that Lindsey had reason to be upset with her. Haley needed her, but she needed her pain to be stripped from her. And for once in a long while, she had put herself first.
Realization was breaking through, "So you weren't picking sides, you just needed your pain to be taken away too?"
She didn't want Lindsey to get it, even attempt to try and find Brooke's pain beneath her eyes, but her inhibitions were shot due to her poison of choice. "I just want it all taken away," and the flood gates were broken. Gut retching sobs took over her body. She wasn't sure when Lindsey had encompassed her in embrace, but she found herself safely held.
All Lindsey knew of Brooke yesterday was that she was a famous clothes designer, who was once a girlfriend of Lucas'. Well she was also half of Lucas's novel, but that was just words. She knew of Brooke. That was the bottom line. But as she held onto the girl, she began to know more than simple words would give her. As she held Brooke, she knew everything. And she felt sorry for the fashionista.
Brooke was sure that almost anyone's arms would be reassuring to be around her at this moment – well not anyone's. But Lindsey's were warm; it was another affirmation of Lucas' success in picking a life partner. Another realization hit Brooke just the same, not many people in her life would be willing to engulf her in a time of desperate sorrow. She was lucky that Lindsey was not one of those people. She picked the right driveway to break down in.
She didn't want to let go, or be let go of, but it was time, and someone had broken the silence, "What happened?" It was Lucas. He was always trying to rescue the women in his life.
Brooke quickly jutted from Lindsey, profusely wiping her tears. The last time Lucas had seen her tears was at Haley and Nathan's wedding, when she was desperately asking him to hold on to her, because she was slipping away. She was a different person then, but one in the same. All she ever wanted was for someone to want her back.
Lindsey knew that Brooke would not want to speak of her breakdown, especially in Lucas' presence, so she averted his question, "How is Haley?"
He was getting the gist of what was taking place – avoidance; girls seemed to do it so well. "She finally fell asleep. She finally gave up. I think she was just simply exhausted; there was no way she got a good night's sleep in that house."
Brooke averted her eyes, so that Lucas could not look into them. She had realized in the last 24 hours how vulnerable her eyes were – they told everything. And she had no control over covering them up. No amount of makeup would ever do justice.
Lucas was exhausted himself from the day's events, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet. It took everything he had not to give into Haley's pleas. She was his best friend, he always wanted her happy, she was not happy being pulled away. But he was willing to take one moment of unhappiness compared to the longevity that she was experiencing. He had to admit that he was not expecting to find Brooke Davis sobbing in his fiancée's arms. Nonetheless, he should have realized that it was just another element of unexpectant events in his life. It was just another day.
Lindsey got up and extended a hand to Brooke – she needed all of the support she could get at the moment. When Brooke rose, her head was throbbing causing her instability – just what she needed, more unstable steps. Lindsey quickly supported her because she foresaw the course of Brooke's downfall, and it was straight to the ground. "Lucas, do you think you can get the door," she asked, not saying anything else or bringing to attention that Brooke's instability was due to her intoxication. Lucas would be livid. Hell, she was livid at first. But she knew the truth now, and Lucas didn't.
He couldn't pry, he just couldn't do it. Not now. He trusted Lindsey, he even trusted her with his old friend. If she did not want the topic to be brought to the table currently, she had legitimate reasons. So he did the only thing he could, he opened the door, and watched as his fiancée placed an arm around Brooke's waist, and led her into their kitchen.
She was grateful for Lindsey's help, and her silence on the situation. She wasn't sure she deserved it, but she was going to take this freebie. Lucas stood at the door, she knew he was perplexed, and his face was pictured in concern. Brooke wasn't sure if it was for her or if it was for Haley, or if it was in fact permanent. There was a lot of concern to go around. She again looked away, she had to look away. There was so much in Lucas' eyes, so much that she couldn't have, she couldn't look into his eyes. She turned her attention to Lindsey; she was getting Brooke a glass of water. A soft spoken, "Thanks," brushed Brooke's lips.
The silence in the room was unbearable at this point. Brooke finger lined the top of the cup. Lucas was still situated at the door, leaning against the frame, and Lindsey had pulled up a chair across from Brooke. She was looking for an opportunity to jump for any reason at all. It was just too much, too much for these young adults to handle.
Brooke stood up, and as she did, both Lucas and Lindsey jumped as to help a fallen comrade. It was just Brooke, and she was no soldier, not anymore, she had the battle scars to prove it. She noticed the attentiveness of the duo, "Is she in Karen's room?" It was all she wanted to know.
Lucas gave her the answer she wanted, "Yes." And Lucas had to cement his feet to the ground so he wouldn't follow after her. He looked at Lindsey hoping for an answer or a glimpse of what was happening. But she wasn't going to intrude on her privacy, and he wasn't going to make her. They embraced, they just held each other. The magnitude of their love would help them survive this; they just had to make sure that their friends were survivors as well.
Her hand quivered as she placed it on the door knob. She was fearful for what was on the other side of the door she held. Haley, her Haley, was suffering unbearable pain, and it did not appear she could help her. Not anymore. Why couldn't she help her? A deep breath would only get her so far, so she took an extra deep one, and braved what was on the other side.
Haley was so small in the queen sized bed, Brooke almost missed her. But her fuchsia shirt made her stand out. Her makeup had streamed down her face – she wasn't there but she imagined that it would be incredibly hard to deal with losing your spouse. Hair strands covered her beautiful, angelic face. Brooke was lost in her own thoughts and the image of Haley, her Haley. All she wanted to do was hold her, so she would know that someone was willing – no matter what. So Brooke gently got into the bed, and she held Haley. She put her arms around her, and she had no intention of letting go – not ever.
Sorrow took much exhaustion out of a person. Imagine two concurrent tragedies, it took even more. It was hard to sleep on a normal basis when incomplete details of the future lingered. Their bodies were shocked with this extended slumber, but held on, as if this would be the only opportunity to mend their souls. For if it was, Brooke was not going to lose their only chance.
AN: So what did you think? I really would like to know your opinion on the events of this chapter. Haley being extracted from her home and her situation. Brooke getting drunk, the girl is simply confused. Lindsey's place in it all. I hope you don't think this is too much drama for one small town. I promise that there will be happiness...it might just take awhile. So in the meantime, please let me know how it is going for you. Thanks. Peace.