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Mad Hiei Disease or 3-eyed Fire Fever

Kuwabara: Yo! It's about time I got my chance to teach a lesson! Well anyway today's lesson about Mad Hiei Disease also known to some as 3-eyed fire fever. My assistant Kurama went out to bring today's subject, which should be pretty interesting considering what happened to Urameshi and the midget in the last lessons. /pauses for a moment/ Last I heard Urameshi had to find another therapist. /hear the banging of a cage/ Great! Since he's back we can finally start!

Kurama: /dragging the cage with his rose whip as he walks in. His hair has various twigs and branches in it. There's dirt covering parts of his face and parts of his uniform looked burnt./ I finally caught her! /insane laugh/ I can't believe I finally caught her!!

Kuwabara: /sweatdrop/ Wow. Who would have thought that Kurama would lose it too? I mean seriously he's usually the calm one out of the four of us, but then again these are some very dangerous diseased people out there.

Kurama: /glare/ You wouldn't be talking if you went through the hell I just did! I mean do you have any idea what I went through to catch her?!

Kuwabara: Well no actually, but we'll get to that later. Right now it's time to reveal the subject. Kurama! Uncover the cage!

Kurama: /sigh and turns to the cage/ May Kami have mercy on my soul. /Uncovers the cage and reveals a woman wearing Hiei's regular black outfit including his bandanna. Her hair is gelled up to defy physics and is dyed white at the ends. She has red contacts in and is kneeling to make herself look shorter. In one hand is a katana and in the other a Hiei and a dragon doll./

Subject: LET ME OUT OF HERE FOX BEFORE I MAKE YOU AND THE IDIOT TASTE MY SWORD!!

Kuwabara: I wonder if that katana is real. Well anyway for her to be this bad she must have been infected for quite a while. Now Kurama since you were so eager to tell us how you caught her go ahead. I'm wondering how you did it with out getting injured...more than you did anyway.

Kurama: /ignores that last comment/ Well since Hiei often sleeps in trees I figured I would start looking in the park. It took a couple hours since I had to search...EVERY SINGLE TREE IN THE PARK!! /calms down/ Well I finally found her in the largest tree there. I attached one of my plants to the tree so the vines would grow and tangle her up, so I waited and waited and waited some more but nothing happened. Then I heard someone scream and I climbed the tree, but...

Kuwabara: But what?

Kuwabara: When I got up there it turns out that somehow she escaped from the vines, then spent a good ten minutes ranting about how I woke her up. After that she kicked me out of the tree and into a bush.

Kuwabara: Ouch! That's amazing! I can't believe she caught you off guard like that!

Kurama: Oh shut up! After she kicked me out the tree. She followed me down still ranting of course, and grabbed a bunch of sticks off the ground. She lit them and began throwing them at me. /gestures to his clothes/ As you can see her aim isn't that bad.

Kuwabara: /nods at him/ Yeah I can see that. Well for the most part your still sane, so that's good. I guess Urameshi lost it because he had to go out and find two subjects. Well now it's time for the main part of the lesson...the symptoms!! Some of these symptoms are kinda dangerous considering who they're about.

Subject: LET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I USE MY DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME ON BOTH OF YOU!!

Kuwabara: /sweatdrop/ Ok... well some of the symptoms include:

Trying to make yourself look shorter

Spiking your hair so it defies physics

Wearing red contacts

Going around and shouting "DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!"

Changing your name to Hiei

Trying to have another eye implanted in your forehead

Always dressing in black

Saying "hn" all the time

Wanting someone to paint you green and draw eyes on you

Always carrying a sword

Kurama: That last symptom is the most dangerous one. Infected people always seem to find a sword somewhere, and our experts still haven't figured how it's possible.

Kuwabara: As you can see.../turns and see the cage is empty and the bars on the cage cut/ hm. I guess the sword was real after all. Hey Kurama we got a little problem here!

Kurama: Don't tell me she escaped! After all the trouble I went through catching her too!

Kuwabara: It's not my fault the sword was real. /sees the subject sneaking up behind Kurama/ Kurama look out!

Kurama: /tackled by the subject who uses her dragon plushie and starts beating him over the head with it while shouting dragon of the darkness flame. When she tackled him her bandanna fell off and a badly drawn eye was on her forehead/ Kuwabara...a little help here?!

Kuwabara: Hold on a minute! Now see the third eye she has, that's the way to tell the recently infected from the long termers. No one that's recently infected would think of getting a third eye that quickly.

Kurama: /still being beat/ Will you stop talking and help me now!!

Kuwabara: I said wait! Now this little situation brings me to a way to distract the infected. /pulls out a carton of ice cream/ The almighty sweet snow!! If you give enough of this to the infected one it's enough to either get away or have them captured. Let me demonstrate./calls out to the subject/ HEY SHORTY OVER HERE!!

Subject: /stops hitting Kurama and turns to Kuwabara and stares at him/ GIVE ME THE SWEET SNOW! I WANT THE SWEET SNOW!

Kuwabara: /throws it into a corner/ Then go get it!!

Subject: /eating it greedily/

Kuwabara: Now since she has the sweet snow we got about 20 seconds at best!

Kurama: /Gets up and has bruises on his head from getting hit with the plushie/ I wonder if Yusuke will give me the number to his therapist. /looks at the subject/ It's half gone 10 seconds!

Kuwabara: Well before I loose an assistant or said assistant snaps and hangs the subject with his rose whip I'll give you the cure. Well since it is considered a fever it must be burned out.../stops when he hears growling and sees the subject chasing Kurama for more sweet snow/ Well I guess my timing was off.

Kurama: Kuwabara.../still being chased/ I just though about something. Why didn't you tell me that sweet snow would distract the subject long enough for me to catch her?

Kuwabara: It'd be too easy for you to catch her. Then this lesson would be boring. Well enough about that, this is the cure./Doesn't see Kurama stalking toward him/ Now I suggest you lock the subject in a very small room where there are nothing but Hiei related items. Then play every single YYH episode that has Hiei in it, Seeing so much of Hiei at once will kind of fry their brain cells, but on the bright side the disease stops. /Being tapped on the shoulder/ What is it Kurama?

Kurama: /has his rose whip out and is giving Kuwabara a death glare/ So you mean you had me get thrown out of a tree, burned and chased for 3 miles because you didn't want the lesson to be boring?!!

Kuwabara: /backing away slowly/ What about the subject?

Kurama: /points to where the subject's tied to a wall with one of his plants/Your gonna pay for this Kuwabara...!

Kuwabara: /nervously/ Come on is this really necessary? I'll apologize okay!!

Kurama: /crazy stare/ No amount of begging or apologizing could make up for what I went through!! /tackles him/

/You can hear sounds of fighting and Kuwabara yelling/

Kurama: /much calmer now/ Well I feel much better now. So come back next time where Yusuke and Kuwabara will be telling you about out next disease: Mad Kuwabara Disease or Honorable Fighter flu. /grin/ See you next time!

Kuwabara: /tied to a chair with bumps and bruises all over him/ bye.

Please continue to R and R