A/N: I was glad that you were able to enjoy the previous chapter ;) Truth be told, I wasn't in the mood when I posted that one. I even edited only a few scenes there. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Hmm…maybe it's because my salary is delayed and I want it badly to buy something! Something that I'm sure will help me do more when it comes to fanfics and other stuffs. I thought I'll have it before December comes but I was wrong! I've been waiting for it for a couple of weeks! Torture! I want it now! ;)

Chapter 26. Torture

After the shock of seeing Yumi alive had mellowed down, everyone started talking to her about her life, about their lives. As Sei had put it, it's time to have some fun because she wasn't dead. Leave the bad memories and look at the future.

Soon, Yumi found herself laughing at everyone's lively chatter. She blushed when each of them started telling her what she was like in high school. She couldn't help protesting to some, although somehow, she thought that she might just be like that in high school, a clumsy, stammering and shy girl.

And as she watched them with happiness, she noticed that Yoshino and Rei acted like a married couple, being sweet one moment and then having little arguments the next. The arguments seemed like affectionate gesture to the two of them. She could read a deep familiarity in their actions.

And Shimako and Noriko, they were quite impassive and didn't act like Rei and Yoshino, but she saw in their eyes and smiles a profound understanding of each other. They need not to be expressive to understand that they were really close.

"I always knew you'd end up together," Yumi said happily to Shimako and Noriko before she could stop herself. Everyone stopped talking at once and turned to her.

"You knew?"

"You remember?"

"You did?"

Different reactions were thrown at Yumi. Hopeful eyes gazed at her intently. She laughed nervously at the attention.

"I'm sorry, I can't remember even if I could somehow feel that way when I look at the two of you. I didn't know why I said that," Yumi apologized embarrassedly. Her face fell when she saw the disappointment that crossed the faces of the people around her. She bowed her head shamefully while she thought about the people around her.

Rei and Yoshino and Shimako and Noriko were petite soeurs and were very close. Was she that close to Sachiko, too? She raised her head and turned to her right and met Sachiko's smiling yet lonely eyes. She looked away with a slight blush in her cheeks. Why was Sachiko lonely?

---o---

"Sachiko, why aren't you joining everyone at the living room?" Rei asked when she saw her friend sitting alone in the kitchen.

Sachiko sighed.

"I'm just worried."

"About what? That Yumi-chan wouldn't remember you?"

"I'm not even sure what I'm worried about. It's just that, having Yumi was all I ever wanted and when I thought I lost her…" Sachiko trailed off, not sure what to say or think.

"Then she came back when you least expected. You are overwhelmed by everything," Rei said with understanding. She was still having difficulty coming into grips that Yumi's alive. How much more for Sachiko who had suffered the most at Yumi's absence before?

"Maybe…"

"And you have difficulty holding back your feelings. You want her to be back at you completely, but it can't happen until she has her memories back. Kind of like a torture. But maybe you shouldn't think too much about it for now. As what Sei-sama said, have some fun because she isn't dead. Leave the bad memories and look at the future with hope."

Sachiko smiled gratefully at Rei.

"That's what I'm waiting to see. Let's go back to them. Yumi-chan misses your presence already," Rei teased.

"Really?" Sachiko asked eagerly before she caught herself. Embarrassed, she followed Rei towards the living room, grateful that the later didn't comment on her eagerness.

---o---

The endless chatters between friends went on and on until it was late at night. Everybody decided to retire to bed, expressing the happiness that Yumi was with them before they went to their rooms. The looked on their faces told Yumi that they were still quite shocked that she was alive.

Yumi watched as Noriko, Shimako and Touko went to their shared room, Rei and Yoshino to another, and then Eriko, Youko and Sei to another. That left Yumi wondering where she was going to sleep. Everyone had bid their goodnights already, leaving her and Sachiko at the living room.

"Yumi, would you mind if you're sharing a room with me?" Sachiko asked tentatively, gauging Yumi's reaction. The first time that they had slept together in the same room, Yumi was so nervous then, and she could see that she was like that again.

For reasons unknown to her, Yumi blushed deeply to her embarrassment. And her hands, she felt them trembling. Why on earth was she feeling like this? What was there with sharing a room with a person or a woman? It's absurd to feel nervous. She had been uneasy about Sachiko since she arrived here. She couldn't explain why. She wanted to be close to Sachiko and yet she didn't. She was worried about something she couldn't identify. What was wrong with her?

"No, I don't mind," she said shyly, feeling her heart skipped a beat when a smile broke Sachiko's lips. She rarely saw Sachiko smile the whole time they were talking with everyone. It was like her mind was on somewhere else so seeing it now made her really happy.

"I'm glad. This way, Yumi."

As soon as Yumi entered the bedroom, she couldn't stop her heart from beating fast. Ignoring it, she gazed around the room. It was just so like Sachiko. Elegant yet it seemed a forlorn place. It was like the person sleeping here was living a lonely life.

Was Sachiko's loneliness so deep? Why did it hurt her to know that Sachiko was lonely? Why did she hate it that Sachiko was lonely? She didn't know the answer.

She turned her gaze at the table and frowned at the picture frames she saw. She moved towards the table and picked one frame.

There, at the frame, was a photo of her and Sachiko. She could tell that it was taken many years ago. Both of them looked so young and she was looking shocked at Sachiko while the latter was looking down at her with an impassive expression.

She picked another frame. It also contained the two of them, but both of them were smiling. Sachiko was standing behind her with arms wrapped around her stomach with her own hands atop Sachiko's. She trailed her finger to Sachiko's smiling face. She looked so full of life, happy and contented. So unlike the Sachiko she knew now.

Why did Sachiko change? Was it because of the accident? Was it because she thought she lost her? The last question brought another wave of warmth on her cheeks.

Just how deep was their relationship before? Based on these photos, they were really close. Were they like the…

Yumi's musings was cut off when she heard Sachiko exited the bathroom. Her eyes automatically closed as she inhaled the sweet fragrance that invaded the room. Sachiko smelt so good.

"You can use it now, Yumi."

At Sachiko's voice, Yumi's eyes snapped open. Embarrassed with her thoughts, she nodded and went to the bathroom hurriedly.

When finally they were both ready to bed, Yumi didn't know how to react when Sachiko invited her to bed. She was blushing all the time, until she was settled in bed, mere inches away from Sachiko. Her heart, it wouldn't slow down from beating fast. And her hands, despite the cold air at Sachiko's room, she felt her hands sweating. Again, that pleasant nervousness and warm feeling. Why?

"Are you uncomfortable, Yumi?" Sachiko asked, sensing Yumi's unease. She was worried that Yumi didn't really like being alone with her.

"I-I'm fine, Sachiko. Have a nice sleep," Yumi said nervously, confused with herself, with the emotions running in riot inside her, of wanting to move closer to Sachiko, to feel Sachiko's arms around her, and to her horror, to feel her lips on Sachiko's skin as well as to have Sachiko's lips on hers. It was taking all her strength to not give in with the thoughts running in her head.

Why? Why was she feeling like that? Was that the reason why she didn't feel love to her admirers before? Was the reason why she couldn't love them was because she was more attracted to women than to men? Was she a…gay?

---o---

Sachiko watched the multitude of emotions running in Yumi's face. She could tell that even if Yumi couldn't really remember her or their times together, her feelings were still the same, her feelings could recognize her clearer now than before.

And as she watched her, she wanted so much for Yumi to remember everything. She didn't know how long she could take this. Yumi was so near and yet so far. She wanted so much to kiss her, to feel Yumi's skin on hers, to tell her that she loved her, but she couldn't. She was worried that she might scare Yumi away. But being unable to do the things she had wanted to do for so long, she was having difficulty controlling herself. Her skin buzzed with the need to pull Yumi so close to her ever since she had arrived in her house.

"Good night, Yumi. Have a nice sleep," she said, not wanting to increase Yumi's unease anymore. She closed her eyes to sleep, though she doubt if she could sleep sooner, not when Yumi was so close to her that she could smell her, could feel her. She didn't know how long she would have the strength to not pull Yumi to her and kiss her senseless. It was pure torture. The strength of her will was already at its limits.

---o---

Yumi watched Sachiko's sleeping face, feeling conflicted. Her want to be close to Sachiko and the desire that she felt were scaring her.

Was she gay?

And if she was, did Sachiko know?

And who else knew?

She had already realized that Youko and Sei was a couple after seeing them for the second time when they fetch her at the station to bring here. And now, she knew, too, that Rei and Yoshino were the same, as she could tell that Shimako and Noriko were, too.

And she, was she and Sachiko a couple?

The thought made her blush and feel warm inside.

'That's impossible!'

Judging from everything she had heard and observed, Sachiko seemed aloof though lonely and bitter. And she could tell by just one look that Sachiko was a lady. It seemed impossible for Sachiko to be like that.

"I want my memories back," Yumi whispered in frustration. She thought that she would remember once she met her former friends. She was really disappointed when only a brief flashed of memory about Touko happened.

She was getting really impatient. How long would she endure the torture of not knowing her past? Of not understanding herself better?

Yumi thought about the things that were happening in her life over and over until finally, sleep claimed her perplexed mind.

A/N: I'm sorry if I'll disappoint you, but I wouldn't really dwell on Yumi's interaction with the others. Just presented them for Yumi to meet them and for her to see/observe their relationship ;)

Maybe I should have a reunion once Yumi's memory is back? (That thought just entered my mind while typing this) But then, maybe not. I'll have to think about it because I can't tell where I will insert the scene. Maybe at the epilogue or make another chapter?

Nah! Stop it already, Arvendell! If you keep on thinking, things will get longer! That's more work for you, don't you realize that? Haha I can't help it.

Anyway, next chapter, Yumi's confusion intensifies ;) That is, before we get to the…

You'll know soon! Haha tease ;)

---Arvendell---

2 December 2008

4:45 PM