A/N: Yesterday was full of parties, from morning until dawn. My stomach is quite queasy right now. I guess too much eating, lack of sleep plus tired after being hauled into karaoke yesterday (they immediately regretted it after the microphone was thrust into my hand because I sounded like calling the storm hahaha it was their fault for forcing me from morning until afternoon to sing :) I was really terrible haha ;) Well, it was given! That's why ever since I only like/love to listen to the music, not to sing ;)

I like Christmas holiday because of the break, the food, the spirit, the gifts and the 13th month pay haha ;) Though, I've spent quite a lot for the gifts already, too.

Of all the gifts I received from friends and colleagues, I like Britney Spears' latest album the most because I've always like her. I'm not really sure why I like her and her music so much despite the scandals. Maybe because whenever I see her music videos or hear her music, it makes me smile. Her guts and stunts make me grin. When her life was really in turmoil, I told my friend, "I don't have any worries. She will surely bounce back. Besides, she isn't the only one whose life is full of scandals. Some people are condemning her, but are they really better person than her? Hmp! The nerve!" Haha I guess I really am her fan. I may write a fanfic someday borrowing the title of her song "Womanizer" with Yumi as the one. I have ideas for a few chapters already ;) I hope I could find time to write the story someday.

Hey, why am I telling you that?! Please excuse me. I'm just so happy ;)

Anyway, what I really want to say is, happy holidays for those who celebrate! (My family doesn't celebrate Christmas, only New Year, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying the holidays!)

Here's my gift to you! Hope you'll enjoy it! ;)

Chapter 31. Recollections

"Yana?!"

Trembling, Sachiko gazed at the little girl protected by her arms. She was quite relieved that the little girl had slept through the near accident. She must be really tired after running around at the park. After ensuring that Yana was alright, she turned her fearful gaze to Yumi.

"Yumi, are you alright?" Sachiko asked fearfully. She was so intent in gazing at Yana before that she didn't notice anything until she was jostled in her seat at the abrupt stopping of the car. She grasped Yumi's shoulders when she saw the tears running down her cheeks.

"Yumi? Yumi…Yumi!"

Yumi heard Sachiko, but she couldn't speak, as if all her energy had been drained. She could feel her body trembling with fear, not only because of this near accident but something more, something she couldn't quite put her fingers into, something more frightening.

"Yumi, talk to me please," Sachiko pleaded, her whole body trembling. True, they didn't collide with the speeding car that came out of nowhere, thanks to her driver's slow driving and quick response. But still, the near accident rattled her. What if the driver was a few seconds late and…

No!

She didn't want to think about it. She would never lose Yumi again.

"I-I'm fine, Sachiko. I'm just shocked, that's all," Yumi said in a shaky voice, trying to calm herself, trying to calm Sachiko who was near hysterics with fear and worry.

"How's Yana?" Yumi asked worriedly.

"She's just asleep. Are you sure you're alright?" Sachiko asked uncertainly.

Yumi sighed with a small doused of relief when she saw that the little girl was alright. Sachiko surprised her by hugging her as tight as she could with Yana between them and then burst into a hysterical sob.

"I-it's alright, Sachiko. I'm fine. You're fine. Yana's fine. No one is hurt," Yumi said soothingly amidst her own fear. Sachiko's hysterics wasn't just about what happened. There was more, that much she could sense. The accident. The accident that they met together before. That must be it.

Sachiko stopped crying when she heard Yumi moaned. Worried, she pulled away and stared at Yumi who's holding the sides of her head.

"Yumi?"

"I'm sorry, Sachiko, can we go home now?" Yumi asked, trying to stop the headache that she was feeling as something was trying to resurface in her mind.

Sachiko quickly instructed her driver to take them home. Once they were home, she had both Yumi and Yana rest in bed while she stayed seating beside Yumi, gazing at her tenderly. Her heart still beat fast whenever she thought about what happened earlier.

What if they had an accident?

What if Yumi was hurt?

What if Yana was hurt?

She couldn't bear the thought of the two of them being hurt. She loved Yumi dearly. And Yana, too, already occupied a special place in her heart. What if…

She shook her head. She didn't want to think about it anymore.

However, try as might as she could, Sachiko still couldn't stop her tears and her trembling as she thought about the earlier event. She was so scared, so scared that she would lose Yumi again to another accident. She didn't think she could take it if that happened again. She was sure that she would die if she lost Yumi again.

---o---

After they had their dinner and Yana was tucked in a spare bed Sachiko had instructed her servants to put in her room, Sachiko joined Yumi in bed, who immediately came in her arms, trembling.

"Yumi?" Sachiko asked worriedly.

"Sachiko, will you please hold me, just hold me," Yumi begged. She had been trying to be brave, but she couldn't stop herself from shaking. She was scared. The hours that had passed since the near accident plus the fact that they were safe didn't stop her from feeling scared.

Sachiko hugged Yumi to her. She could guess Yumi's fright. The near accident probably triggered something in Yumi, and she was remembering the fright that they felt many years ago when they had the accident.

Troubled, Sachiko stayed awake as long as she could until finally she couldn't help it anymore and fell asleep with Yumi enfolded in her arms tight. Before sleepiness completely enveloped her, the car that they almost bumped into earlier came into her mind. She thought it looked familiar, and tried to think where she had seen it before, but the stress and tiredness of the earlier events won over and soon, she was out cold in a troubled sleep.

---o---

Yumi had trouble getting rest. Only Sachiko's warmth enveloping her had prevented her from going into hysteria. The pain in her head had intensified, though she tried hard not to show it to Sachiko. Sachiko was worried enough already. She didn't want to give her more worries. After being able to control her shaking earlier, she pretended to be resting but in truth she was far from it.

It was already dawn when Yumi finally fell asleep with Sachiko still holding her tight. However, she wasn't asleep for long yet when she started tossing to and fro in bed.

"Is something wrong, Sachiko?"

"I think we're being followed, Yumi," Sachiko said as she glanced again at the black car following them. She didn't know if it was a car sent by her family or someone else. She knew that the Ogasawaras had enemies due to business, to envy and jealousy.

Worried, she sped up a bit, and saw that the black car had increased in acceleration, too.

"Yumi, would you dial my Father's number," Sachiko said, indicating the phone at the car.

Worried, too, Yumi followed Sachiko's instruction.

"Father, have you sent someone to follow me?" Sachiko asked once the call connected to her father.

"A black car with plate number…" she didn't finish her sentence when something hit the back of her car and she swiveled out of control.

Sachiko tried to maneuver back to her lane, but she hadn't done it yet when a car to the opposite lane came in a dangerous speed.

She wouldn't make it back to their lane!

Wide-eyed, Sachiko tried to at least avoid being hit head on, particularly the passenger side, not minding her father's repeated calls at the car phone.

Yumi's eyes widened with fear as she saw, as if in slow motion, that they were going to collide with the coming car. And it would hit the driver's seat head on.

'No! Sachiko! Look out!' Yumi screamed in her head.

In a split second, just as the two cars were about to collide, Yumi had her seatbelt removed and she dove in front of Sachiko to cover her from the impact, not minding her own body.

The screams that followed were muffled by the scratching of metals.

Yumi bolted upright from the bed. Wide-eyed, she gazed around. She was confused at the sight that greeted her. It was so dark.

She couldn't see any car.

No. She wasn't in a car. She realized she's in bed.

"Sachiko!" She called as she remembered her nightmare. No. Make that the accident. It was the accident she and Sachiko had before.

It was all coming back to Yumi now.

She was screaming Sachiko's name just as Sachiko was screaming hers.

And then she felt pain, intense pain all over her. Her head. Her arms. Her whole body. And then she couldn't remember anymore. She must have passed out from the pain.

She remembered waking up. She was so scared then. She didn't know where she was except that she was in a hospital. Yes. A hospital. But what was worse was the fact that she didn't know who she was.

Three people introduced themselves as her father, mother and brother. She was so confused then, but had accepted that the three people were her family because despite everything, she believed they were telling the truth. She could feel it in her heart that she knew them, that they were part of her. Besides, she looked like them, especially the one who introduced as her brother.

Later on, she found out that they were in the US, though they were Japanese. She, Yuuki and their parents stayed in US. Later on, her parents explained what happened to her and why they were there. Well, at least some of the truth.

She studied in US.

She found out Yana.

She was having dreams of a person she couldn't recognize.

Then they went back to Japan.

And she met Sachiko. Yes. She met her again and yet she couldn't recall her.

Sachiko was hurt that she couldn't remember her.

Sachiko was lonely.

Sachiko was in pain.

Everything came rushing to Yumi. Though her head felt like it would split with pain, she welcomed the pain as her past and present met.

She looked around, her heart racing in her chest. She felt that her nightgown was damp with her sweat but she ignored it. Her gaze settled on the small bed near the one she was currently in. Was that Yana? Yes. That must be her. She remembered that Sachiko tucked Yana in there.

Sachiko?

Where's Sachiko?!

Panicking, Yumi searched for Sachiko until she thought to look beside her. Her gaze fell to a woman who was frowning in her sleep, her long hair framing her beautiful face.

Sachiko was asleep.

Sachiko was with her right now.

Sachiko was safe.

Sachiko was here, sleeping soundly on the bed.

Yumi started to cry as she lunged for Sachiko, hugging her tight, waking the sleeping woman in the process.

"Yumi?" Sachiko asked sleepily. She instantly became alert when her eyes focused at the crying Yumi.

"Oh, Sachiko…Sachiko…Sachiko…" Yumi wailed with hurt and loneliness and happiness. She remembered now. She remembered everything that happened. The memory of her past and her present had finally joined together. It was an exhilarating yet scary feeling of knowing everything, of knowing her past, of recognizing her true self.

"What happened, Yumi?" Sachiko asked anxiously as she hugged Yumi tight. Did Yumi have a nightmare?

Yumi pulled away from the hug and gazed at Sachiko's face through the faint light coming from the moon. She gazed longingly and lovingly at the face in front of her, as if seeing it for the first time in years, which was somewhat true. However, before she completely savored the recollections of her memories and of being with Sachiko, she had to know everything that she had missed first because her mind was still in turmoil. Despite remembering everything, there were still many questions in her head that hadn't been answered.

"Tell me, Sachiko, I want the truth now. Since I've met you again, I gathered that you weren't in good terms with your family. It had something to do about us before, right? What are you so scared of telling me? I already know that you thought I was dead because my family kept it from you and everyone else. But you are rich. If you had wanted to find out the truth, you could have used your money and your family's connection. Or did your family stop you from doing so?" Yumi asked in succession quietly. She was sad and confused about everything. Why didn't Sachiko found out before that she was still alive? Did Sachiko try to find her after the accident or had just accepted that she was dead? Who was responsible for the accident before? Was it really coincidence or intentional? What really happened afterwards?

Sachiko looked away from Yumi as she started to remember the pain that she had endured all these years thinking that Yumi was dead.

"I couldn't do it," Sachiko whispered with anguish.

"Why? Please tell me everything, Sachiko. No more secrets. I want to know everything. All of it," Yumi said firmly, even if her heart felt like it had been stabbed at the sight of Sachiko in pain and that all she wanted to do was to erase that pain.

"When I thought you were dead, I wanted to die, too. And I would have, had it not been because of you, too, through Mother's words," Sachiko said. Tears started falling down her cheeks as the pain in her heart intensified. She couldn't breath.

"How could I think that you were still alive? I saw your grave. I saw it everyday. I was angry with myself. If I didn't fall in love with you, the accident wouldn't have happened," Sachiko continued with so much hurt. The pain, how could she ever forget her pain? True, Yumi was with her right now, and had professed her love to her, but still…

"Sachiko…"

Even if Yumi wanted to know more, her heart was unable to bear the sight of Sachiko anymore. She pulled Sachiko back into her embrace.

"Shh…don't cry, Sachiko…" Yumi said soothingly. She let Sachiko cry to her shoulders as she hugged her tight, her heart wrenching with each sob that Sachiko made.

Yumi waited until Sachiko's tears subsided.

"If you don't want to tell me, then it's alri…"

"No. I'm fine now, Yumi. I'll tell you everything that happened after the accident," Sachiko said firmly, the mask of a strong woman back in place. She had to do it if she wanted to tell Yumi everything or else she would broke down again.

"After I woke up from the accident…"

---o---

Yumi couldn't believe everything she heard. Ever since she found out that everyone who knew her before thought she was dead, she had wondered how her family did it and why they did except that their family had an enemy that wanted to hurt her badly. She should have known. Her family wasn't the type of people who would pull something like that, of fooling people and in some ways, fooling her, too. Her parents were good people. It must have hurt them to hold back the whole truth from her. She remembered their conversation not very long ago.

"Dead?" Yumi repeated. Did she hear them right?

Yuuichiro cleared his throat and said in affirmative," Yes, Yumi-chan. We did it to protect you."

"You made everyone believe that I am dead? Everyone who knew me before thought I am dead?" Yumi repeated blankly.

Miki gazed at her daughter then back to her husband uneasily.

"Why? What really happened? You weren't just stopping me from coming to Tokyo because I might meet the people who were responsible for the accident before. In truth, you were hiding from me the fact that you made everyone believe that I was dead," Yumi said in realization. She had always thought it was odd that not even a single person from Japan contacted her in the US. Even if she had amnesia, even if her family were avoiding their enemy, did she not even have one friend who knew her situation? Did she not have even one close friend before she lost her memory?

Dead?

"That's why we had our names changed," Yumi said again as another realization hit her.

"Yes."

"Why go all the troubles of faking my death and changing our names? Why? Why? Why?" Yumi asked in confusion.

However, her parents had clammed up after that. They evaded her question to her utter frustration and confusion. Later on, she had decided to not force the truth from them anymore and instead let them take their time to tell her everything.

Yumi sighed. After she found out about the fact that she was supposed to be dead to the people who knew her before, she met Sachiko.

Sachiko.

No wonder Sachiko looked so lonely and angry. And bitter. And hurt. It was all because of everything that happened. She thought she was dead.

She could understand Sachiko's pain now. Believing that the person you loved the most was dead, Sachiko surely was the person who was hurt the most about everything. It must have broken Sachiko's heart. She was in amnesia all these years while Sachiko wasn't and was bearing the thought that her beloved was dead and that she blamed herself for it.

All because Sachiko's grandfather didn't want them to be together.

Sachiko's grandfather.

She had never met him before. Was it really that bad that he wanted and did extreme things like her being dead?

And Sachiko's father.

She didn't know what to really think of him except that she was thankful that he protected her from his own father.

How did Sachiko manage to bear everything?

"Sachiko, I'm really sorry. I'm truly sorry for the pain you have suffered," Yumi whispered brokenly.

"It's alright now, Yumi. You're here now," Sachiko said worriedly yet soothingly.

Right. Sachiko was right. She was here now. And what more, she remembered everything already.

Yumi raised her teary face and gazed at Sachiko longingly. She wanted to take in the sight of Sachiko. She cupped Sachiko's face and gazed at her intently, wiping Sachiko's tears as she did so. Sachiko's face was the same, though it was more perfect, more beautiful this time. And her eyes, they were still as blue as the ocean, but there were worries and sadness in there that made her want to cry.

"You're so beautiful, Sachiko," she said with a poignant smile.

Despite her worry and confusion, a smile touched Sachiko's lips.

"Thank you, love."

Yumi's heart swelled with emotion. Without taking her gaze, she lifted her hand and gingerly placed a finger on Sachiko's lips. Her lips were as she remembered them, full and luscious.

Oh, how she missed Sachiko.

Before Yumi knew it, she was already kissing the bewildered Sachiko.

"Yumi?" Sachiko whispered once her lips were free from Yumi's who was now busy kissing her cheeks, her earlobe, her neck. She moaned with pleasure. However, despite the warmth and desire that she felt inside, she was confused with Yumi's actions. There was something different with the way Yumi was kissing her and the way she acted when she woke up. Had Yumi remembered…

"Kiss me, Sachiko. Kiss me as if there's no tomorrow," Yumi breathed, effectively stopping any thoughts from Sachiko.

Yumi's words caused desire and need to riot within Sachiko. She did as Yumi asked. She kissed her as if there was no tomorrow. She would think about Yumi's behavior later. For now, she would do as Yumi asked. She kissed Yumi and moaned at the hunger and need she felt in Yumi's kisses. She responded with the same intensity.

A/N: Satisfied? It's a very long chapter (and a very long author's babbling, too haha ;). I decided not to split it into two as a gift for you. Excluding the A/N, it's over 3,000 words! (Not my normal chapter) And to think I had to change half of the story. I was ready to post this earlier but alas! When I read it, I realized that it's conflicting with the previous chapters! Yumi already know that people thought she was dead (Chapter 25). The scenes in this chapter previously was that Sachiko was just telling Yumi that she thought she was dead so she didn't communicate with her while she was in the US. It was a good thing that I noticed that bit. It was entirely my fault for changing the scenes in each chapter a lot! (Author grinning sheepishly)

So, anything still amiss in this chapter? Complain and I'll kill you! Haha kidding ;) Since this was done in a hurry, tell me if something's wrong again ;)

I revised this in a hurry because I told myself I will post it today. I know you who reviewed the previous chapter, and those who were unable to review it (because you might be busy or just feeling lazy ;) but did review the other chapters, plus a few more that had expressed their interest in the story in other ways, were anxious with the story. I don't want to make your wait any longer.

Until next time!

Though our vacation officially starts on 18, I might still post the next chapter since the tentative schedule of my trip is on 21 (unless unexpected events happen like my friend decides that we should leave earlier ;) If I wasn't able to post again before 21, then until next year! Happy holidays! Hope you'll enjoy your holidays as I hope I would ;)

---Arvendell---

16 December 2008

1:15 PM