No Happy Ending or Maybe So

Ch.12 A Little Bit of Hope

Peyton was still in her hospital room unfortunately. She hated being there, she missed her kids, and worst of all a hospital is no place to mourn the death of your husband. She was hoping that Ethan would finally let her go home, but she didn't know where that was anymore. She was sure that she would go to Brooke's, but that wasn't her home. Julian had bought her old house for them right before he died, but she didn't know if she could ever bring herself to live in it. It was supposed to be their home. They were supposed to grow old together in that house, but that would never happen now.

The door opened, and a smiled Ethan walked in, "How's my favorite patient this morning?"

"I'm a lot better. Can I go home?" Peyton asked eagerly.

Ethan looked at his charts, "Everything looks good. If I let you go home are you going to take it easy?"

"Considering I'm gonna be staying with your wife for a while probably so," Peyton replied.

Ethan shook his head, "She'll watch you like a hawk that's for sure. I'll let you go home, but I've got some prescriptions you need to get filled, and you are to rest for at least a week. Do you got it?"

"Yes," she was relieved. She couldn't wait to see the outside world again. "Thank you for taking such good care of me. I know you were supposed to be on your honeymoon."

"My honeymoon can wait, but taking care of my wife's best friend couldn't," Ethan told her. "I'll start on your papers, and then you are free to go."

"Thanks," Peyton was extremely happy that she was going to get to leave the hospital and be with her kids. They were everything to her. She started thinking about Lucas, and how things had went between them. He hadn't been back since their argument, and she wasn't sure that he even wanted to be a part of Julie's life.

"Mama," she heard a very familiar voice running towards her bed.

"Hi sweet girl," she smiled at her precious daughter. "I've missed you so much."

"I'm missed you too mommy," she held her hands up in the sky, "This much mommy."

"Oh wow you missed me a whole lot," seeing her daughter did make her feel a little better. Julian would want Peyton to be happy and live her life to the fullest. He only ever cared about his family's happiness and well-being.

Brooke came in the room carrying Brody, "Hi my hot husband tells me that he is releasing you into my custody today."

"Yeah," Peyton told her. "Hey big man come and see your mommy."

Brooke handed Brody to Peyton. "I love you big man. I love both of you," she gave both of her kids a kiss.

"Me wove you oo mommy," Brody told her.

"Yeah so do I. You and daddy are my favorite people in the whole world," Peyton felt a little dizzy as she heard those words come out of her daughter's mouth. The daddy she was referring to was dead. How was she going to explain the messed up world that was her life to her four year old daughter?

The ride home from the hospital had been relatively quiet. Brooke and Peyton hadn't really spoken, but the kids talked and fussed the whole way to Brooke's house.

Brooke helped Peyton inside while the kids ran to the bedroom that had become theirs over the past couple of weeks. "Here let me help you," Brooke said as Peyton made her way to the couch.

"I don't need you babying me Brooke. I'll be fine," Peyton said as she sat down.

Brooke crossed her arms, "Listen here best friend this is my job so let me do my job." Peyton nodded at her very supportive and helpful friend. She was lucky that she had Brooke in her life. "So have you talked to Lucas?"

"Not since he yelled at me and ran out of the hospital," Peyton shook her head in disappointment. She knew that he would be mad at her when he finally found out the truth, but she was hoping that his love for Julie would be enough. "I really screwed up this time Brooke."

"Peyton what made you keep this secret from him, from all of us for so long?" Brooke asked very curious of what the answer might be.

"Lucas made it perfectly clear that we were through when he walked out on me."

"You know Lucas would have come running back to you if he would have known about Julie. You should have told him," Brooke told Peyton trying to better understand Peyton's reasoning behind everything.

"I wanted Lucas to come back to me because he loved me not because I was pregnant with his child. I guess that was selfish of me, but that's how I felt at the time," Peyton sighed. "But he never came back, and I moved on with a wonderful man," she couldn't say his name because it hurt too bad to think about the man she loved so much.

"Yeah," Brooke looked at her best friend with a little hurt in her eyes, "I wish you would have told me though."

Peyton took Brooke's hand in hers, "I know I should have told you, but I didn't want you to tell Lucas or anyone else for that matter."

Brooke was about to say something, but the doorbell went off, "I'll get it you stay put." She got up from the couch and was surprised to see Lucas standing on the other side. "Luke," she said as Peyton turned around to see the father of one of her children.

"I went by the hospital to see Peyton, but they said that she got to come home," he was looking at Peyton the whole time he had been talking.

"Yeah, you can come in if you want," Brooke let Lucas enter. His eyes were fixed on Peyton. He thought that she looked a lot better than she had looked in the hospital. Her eyes weren't as puffy so she had stopped crying all the time. He thought that was a good sign. Everything was silent for a moment as the two exes stared at each other. "I'm gonna go check on the kids," Brooke said as she left the room leaving the two of them to talk or yell which ever one felt right.

Lucas stood in front of Peyton with his hands in his pocket. He was very nervous about the conversation that was about to take place as was she. "I'm glad you are feeling better," he told her trying to start up the conversation.

"Yeah me too," Peyton agreed.

Silence filled the room as both of them thought of things to say. At the same time they both said, "I…" They both stopped. "I'll go first," Lucas insisted. "I was really mad at you the other day Peyton."

"I know," she understood why he was mad at her.

He began to pace a little as he worked up the courage to continue the conversation, "I have always tried not to be my father. He is the one person I don't want to be anything like. I was so mad at you the other day because I thought that you had turned me into Dan, but you couldn't turn me into Dan," he paused for a minute and then continued. "Abandoning a child is choice, but it is not a choice I am going to make in this lifetime. I want to be apart of my daughter's life." Those words made Peyton happy. That's all she had wanted to hear after she had told Lucas the truth. "I don't know what part that is, but we'll figure it out with time," Lucas informed her.

"I don't want her to know yet. It might be too confusing for her," Peyton told him hoping that he would agree.

Lucas shook his head, "I agree. I'll settle for being her cool Uncle Lucas for now."

Peyton smiled. He hadn't seen her smile in a while so he must be doing something right. "I think she would like that for now," Peyton wanted them all to be happy.

He finally sat down on the couch next to her, "I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what. I know that what you are going through has to be hard, and I know you are hurting and if you need anything don't hesitate to call me," Lucas wanted her to know that he was there for her, and although he hated that he missed his daughter's life he understood why Peyton did what she did. "I also want you to know that my daughter would have never been an obligation for me. I would have loved her from the moment I knew about her, and I would have been there for you every step of the way."

"I know," Peyton closed her eyes and then opened them again. "I tried to call you right before she was born, but I couldn't. I found out that your book had been published, and you had this whole life ahead of you. I didn't want to get in the way of your dreams Luke."

"You wouldn't have Peyton," Lucas told her.

"I know that now, but then it was all too hard. I was still hurting from losing you because I couldn't imagine my life without you in it until you weren't there anymore. You really were everything to me Luke, and my heart still breaks when I think about losing you," Peyton now had tears in her eyes. Lucas wiped them away for her. She felt a chill go up her back. His touch still felt so familiar and so relaxing.

"We can't live our lives in the past anymore Peyton. We have to look forward to what is ahead for us. We have to be strong for our daughter and for your son," he told her. "Once upon a time ago we used to be really good friends. Do you think we could manage that again?"

"Yeah I think that is possible," she agreed. They both smiled as did Brooke who had been listening to the entire conversation.

Alright so that is not how I wanted that conversation to go, but that's how it ended up happening. There is going to be a lot of Leyton drama coming soon though. I think the next chapter is going to be about everyone finding out about Julie and Lucas and then probably the kids finally finding out about Julian. It may take me a while to write those scenes though because they are going to be really emotional.

Let me know what you thought by reviewing and thank you so much to those of you who reviewed last chapter!