Chapter Notes: Third person, omniscient narrative FTW. Can you tell I'm a fan? This is the third and final installment of this story.
It was four days ago that Bella had taken it upon herself to play mechanic and remove the stereo from her truck. The contents lay in a garbage bag in her room, unceremoniously thrown there after she went out to the Chevy the next morning to gather the broken illustrations of her breakdown. Her fingers had not healed fully yet, they were still cracked and pink where the nails had split at the edges, but the dull ache that emitted from them earlier was completely gone.
Bella had gotten better at being lifeless and unattached. She tried to keep every dose of emotion she felt bottled up inside of herself when she was around Charlie. It was easier to keep a check on her emotions when she thought of them as spiritless chemicals. She was able to process the feelings as there, and keep them in check long enough to react later, when she was alone. Although that meant feeling and seeing everything through a thick blanket of dimness, she preferred processing everything through that smog, rather than feeling things at full force. It meant needing to consciously focus on what was happening around her to make sure she saw everything clearly, but she knew it was necessary. It helped to protect her, and it helped to protect Charlie.
Bella had resorted to mechanical responses whenever she was around anyone, letting the facade go only when she was alone. Sometimes it meant sobbing as soon as she got under the coldness of her blankets. The tears would stop only as the sheets warmed with her body heat and she was calm enough to sleep. Sometimes she would cry in the shower, letting the steady flow of water massage out some of the tension that built up throughout the day.
That night it meant she opened the floodgate of feelings the second she closed the door behind her. She ignored the pretenses of turning on the lights, or changing her clothes, and went straight to her bed and slid underneath the covers. She could feel every single emotion she bottled up during the day slip out of her in waves, as deep sobs racked in her chest. Her body trembled as she shut her eyes, tried to steady her breathing, and cocooned the blanket around her. It was harder on the weekends, when she was alone with Charlie for hours on end. Bella allowed a few minutes of steady tears, and she tried to purge the build-up of emotion she felt crushing her chest.
She finally focused on the sound her breath made for a few minutes, as she numbed the feelings enough to allow her eyes to flutter closed. Bella fell into an uncomfortable, fitful sleep that she was used to, and though no specific dreams played out, she was still under the ever-present haze of sorrow, despite the fact that she was not awake.
An echo of the sobs that shuddered through Bella before hitched her breath slightly, and it broke the even rise and fall of her chest. It did not wake her, though.
Edward Cullen was as still as a statue in the corner of her bedroom, his eyes fixed on Bella.
He had spent thirteen minutes outside of her window, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to convince himself to enter her bedroom. It took him sixteen hours of running to reach her house. He remembered for a moment how strange it was to be in the same position he had been when he first climbed into her bedroom, months ago, watching her sleep without her knowledge. Before it had been easy to rationalize his curiosity. Tonight he knew the only reason he was there was to stifle the desperate longing he had to see her again.
He had been in the room for two minutes before Bella had entered. His eyes had fluttered softly when he first caught sight of her, and his chest immediately loosened the coil that kept his whole body constantly tense. Instantly, he was relaxed in her presence. He sighed in relief when she ignored the light switch and went straight to the bed, and he was glad that he did not need to edge into her closet and away from being able to look at her.
When she started to cry, Edward had to brace himself on the wall and nearly growled out in protest at her pain, his jaw was clenched to stop the sound. Her breathing steadied after a few long minutes of her tears, and he took two breaths, trying to calm himself. He needed to collect his feelings in order to study her closer, now that she was asleep.
Leaning away from the wall, Edward moved nearer to take in the sight of her. Her hair was disheveled, and the skin around her eyes was red and raw. Though she was sleeping, he noticed her broken nails, her broken spirit, her broken heart. What have I done?
He could faintly smell the dried salt her tears had produced. He could smell Bella, too, and he knew immediately that his imagination was never capable of duplicating the scent in his mind. It was his fear of waking her up that stopped him from ripping the blanket away from her body and bringing her close to him so he could smell her exquisite aroma, undiluted by the air around him.
He took a deep breath in through his nose, and growled loudly in his chest as more of her fragrance reached him. He stopped breathing and quickly glided back to the shadows as he heard Bella stir slightly at the sound.
Bella awoke slowly, her eyebrows furrowing in recognition. She knew that growl anywhere. She was pretty sure she would still be able to hear it at the loudest rock concert, though she had never tested the theory. She sat up quickly in bed, looking around her room.
"Edward?" she mouthed silently, tears already stinging her eyes slightly. She felt embarrassed at the trickle of expectation she felt warming her. Her memory would never be capable of remembering that sound so clearly, would never be able to recreate it with such precision. She attempted to slip back under fog of her emotionless protection, but it was hard to dart back to it when she was suddenly brazen enough to be so optimistic.
Bella's breathing quickened as she remembered the last time she thought Edward had come back for her, the last time she let herself be hopeful. She was in her truck before when she thought for just a second, after her whispered begging for him to come back, that Charlie had been Edward. She let out a gust of air at the memory, feeling as though the thought had slammed into her. Before she had a chance to sob again, Bella whispered Edward's name once more, a sense of panic overcoming.
He took a step toward the window, for a moment thinking of running. How could I come back? How could I put her in danger again? In the second he shifted toward the window, however, his legs quickly propelled him forward, toward Bella. Those were the wrong queries, and he knew it instantly.
How could I leave her? How could I hurt her this way?
"Bella," was all he whispered, before he was suddenly on the bed beside her, wiping her wet tears away. He softly pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips to her hair, breathing in.
She didn't say a word. She wasn't able to. Her whole body was frozen in astonishment, and her thoughts seemed to be in the same state, no coherent reactions forming.
As some semblance of logic returned slowly, Bella's eyebrows stayed tight together in concentration. Was she dreaming? She had to be. She stayed as still as a statue as Edward lowered his face closer to hers, pressing his lips to her forehead. The cool feel of them felt too real. She inhaled slowly, and recognized that his sweet and agonizing scent was much too potent, much too authentic. It was so pure she was almost instantly dizzy.
Before she knew what she was doing, she had clutched herself closer to him and pulled her face up to kiss his lips fiercely, letting herself taste him. She moaned loudly at the sweetness of his mouth and she could feel the vibration underneath her hands as his chest rumbled audibly.
She had a million questions for him, but she could not let herself break contact from his lips long enough to inquire. She needed to breathe, but she left her lips pressed to his as she opened her mouth to draw in air. His mouth moved with hers, allowing the gulp of air to pass through before he let his tongue slip into her mouth and explore further. She almost gasped in shock as his tongue worked against hers, and she could practically taste his desperation for her. Her whole body suddenly unstrained in relief as she realized that he did want her.
Bella's thoughts began to travel slightly as more and more she realized the events that were playing out. She wasn't sure exactly what feeling was currently bubbling up inside of her, but it caused her breath to quicken even more and her knuckles to clench tightly in his shirt. She was angry.
She was angry at the relief, she was angry at the tears, she was angry at him for leaving. She had no room left inside of her to be sad or empty anymore. She had no room to bottle any feelings up. The only reaction she could strum up was suddenly fury. Absolute fury, and no room inside her to contain it. Her eyes shut tightly and quickly she realized that she needed to say something, anything to help fix the confusion and chagrin.
"How dare you leave, Edward Cullen?" she said through clenched teeth. The words came out like a growled sob, urgent and pressing. It was easier to react this way now that he was near. She didn't let the question stop her actions as she pressed herself closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and straddled his lap.
Edward froze immediately at her sudden anger and wondered if he was too late. Her actions didn't seem to indicate that she wanted to stop, but he put his hands around hers and moved them slowly to her sides. Bella was breathing heavily, flushed and angry, and he was sure he'd never seen anything more beautiful than the girl staring back at him now, with her messy hair and swollen lips.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Bella, forgive me." was all he could choke out, and she pulled him close again, kissing him deeply.
"Never again," he mumbled against her lips, tangling his fingers in her hair. The absolute agony in his voice told her everything she needed to know. He circled his arms around her waist, his hands sliding down her back and resting on her hips.
Her shirt had ridden up slightly and he could feel the warm skin beneath his fingertips. He groaned at how soft she felt and lightly trailed his fingers back and forth at the skin just above the waistband of her sweatpants. Bella's body was on fire with his exploration and could feel goosebumps prickling over every inch of her body. Her hands tangled deeper into his hair and she let out a ragged breath at his featherlight touch.
They were still kissing, deeper now, a slow and passionate pace kept up. He moved his lips away from hers slowly so he could place a trail of kisses down her throat. He started the path at the corner of her mouth, down her jaw to her chin, and lower further to her throat. He could feel the blood pulsating quickly beneath his lips, and he let his tongue dart out to lightly taste the skin. His hands moved from her hips to the small of her back, pressing her body to his and grazing the skin gently there.
Bella's hands were still tangled in his hair while he kissed his way to her throat. Her stomach clenched in exhilaration and longing, and she moved away from straddling him to crawl backwards on to the bed to lie down. It was only a few seconds of no contact, but that was long enough. She tugged him on top of her quickly, needing to be close to him again, and wrapped her legs around his waist.
He gasped as his erection was suddenly pressed against the warmth between her legs, and Bella couldn't help but grind down roughly and clutch at the fabric of his shirt. She'd never felt anything like friction of rubbing against him, and her breath was coming out in deep gasps.
"Bella," Edward rasped out desperately, feeling every curve of her body pressed against him.
She instantly recognized the hesitation in his voice. "Don't you dare, Edward," Bella whimpered urgently, "Don't you dare stop. Not now."
The need in her voice instantly trampled his hesitation. He was used to drawing lines in their physical relationship, but his own inhibitions were lost in the tangle of emotions their reunion had drummed up.
Every molecule in his body was constantly attune to her. Edward could feel the instant her breath hitched, or the millisecond her heartbeat quickened. He would know if he were hurting before she could even realize what was going on, before the sensors in her body could react, and he knew he could stop. Every part of his body told him he would stop if he had to, but he knew, deep in his bones, it wouldn't come to that. Bella had changed him permanently.
She pulled his head down to her and she pressed her mouth to his again, a few mews of urgency escaping her lips. Her hands moved quickly from the back of his head, down his back and underneath his shirt, lifting it over his chest and over his head.
His hands moved up her sides, delicately brushing the side of her breasts. She placed her hands over his and slid them underneath her shirt, guiding him upwards. Edward groaned loudly at the warmth surrounding him and cupped her breasts, eyes widening as he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. With a mischievous small smile, Edward began tracing her erect nipples. Bella groaned at the feeling, her eyes drooping slightly in pleasure. Edward slid his hands down her stomach again and lifted her sweater off smoothly.
"I love you," he stated quietly, an oath. She believed him.
His lips parted slightly as he sucked in a breath at the sight of her. His tongue darted out to lick his lips and he bent forward, starting a path of kisses from her breasts to her belly button. His hands hooked around her the waistband at her pants and he pulled down, his kisses continuing on her thighs, down to her knees, and up again. Bella's breath was labored as she pulled him up her body and rolled on top of him. She was straddling his erection through his pants, and she bent forward, placing wet kisses all over his chest. His eyes were shut tight, gripping the mattress' edge at either side. Bella smiled a little as she ground down again roughly, keeping her eyes open long enough to see him bite his lip roughly at the sensation as her name escaped his lips. She moved her hands between them and unbuckled his pants, her hands moving to cup the bulge in his underwear. Bella let out a loud gasp as suddenly she was pinned to the bed underneath Edward.
His eyes were dark and pleading as he gasped into her ear, "Let's not test my patience more than necessary today, Bella, please."
His tongue darted and he licked the skin behind her ear, and she shuddered at the sensation. Bella knew she had to be careful with his control, but she couldn't help wrapping her legs around his waist and pushing his pants and boxers down with her toes. Edward smiled slightly at her creativity as he bent down to kiss her again, his hands moving to her hook around her underwear and pull them down slowly.
He moved his hands between her legs and groaned at the wetness he found there. She was almost dripping in anticipation. He looked up at her once more, his eyes probing, looking for any sort of hesitation. He found none, only her warm brown eyes, darkened with lust and need. He moved one finger slowly inside of her, getting her ready. Her whole body tensed at the feeling, and Edward knew instinctively not to move until she relaxed around him.
Her muscles unclenched slightly, and Edward began to move his fingers in and out of her. Her eyes shut tightly at the feeling, but a low moan was building in her throat as the sensation moved slowly to pleasure, with every stroke. He slowly added another finger, and curled his fingers inside of her, hitting her in exactly the right spot.
He repeated the movements, hitting her deeper every time, his thumb simultaneously rubbing her clit. Bella's breath began to quicken as her moans began to turn into his name, repeated, over and over. She was close, so close, and one groan, deep from Edward's chest helped push her over the edge. It was a sound that drove her crazy. Bella's whole body was shuddering as the tight coil deep in her stomach unraveled instantly, sending a thousand sparks exploding inside of her. It felt like minutes before she could properly form any sort of thoughts.
"Mmmmmmm," was all she could say, before she pulled him up so he could hover over her. He was still for a minute, letting her catch her breath. Her fingers moved to the back of his head and she pulled him closer, kissing him softly. His lips were still pressed to hers as he entered her slowly, inch by inch.
She froze, his length feeling different, filling her more than his fingers did, and sucked in a breath. Edward was clutching the fabric underneath his arms with such strength he could hear the fabric giving slowly under the pressure.
Her heat was almost unendurable, but he was able to hold on to the control that was spinning so relentlessly. She began to move her hips underneath him, starting a slow rhythm so marvelous that his grip on the fabric tightened even more. Edward knew it was impossible for him to feel dizzy, but the room seemed to be spinning around him. The only still point he could focus on was Bella, and her labored breath, and her encouraging whispers.
"Edward, more, please, more," she huffed out, and pulled his hips closer, needing him to let go of control a bit.
Edward was holding onto his control with a thread. Her wet center, her scent, and her mesmerizing moans seemed to be aimed at making sure the thread got thinner and thinner. He was so close, so close to letting go of the thread, but Bella's heartbeat kept him anchored.
Edward groaned and thrust into her slow but deep. She almost screamed out as the delicious onslaught of pleasure hit her. She bit her lips and dug her nails into his skin. He repeated the movements, hitting her deeper every time and quickening his pace.
She shifted her hips upward slightly, and the muscles in his lower abs began rubbing against her clitoris with every thrust. Three thrusts in, and Bella was sent blasting into her second orgasm, shivering and shaking underneath him, gasping for breath. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and bit down at the skin there, muffling her scream.
He let his grip on the mattress tighten even more, channeling the sensations he felt. Neither of them heard the tearing of the fabric between his fingertips as it gave way under his strength. The tightening of the muscles in her core and her teeth grazing his jugular sent him over the edge with her, crashing into sensations he'd never felt before. Her name escaped his lips, over and over, along with love you and forever. She was stroking his face, watching him closely, her fingertips warm and coaxing him through his high. Bella was completely spent, every part of her body feeling like jelly.
His labored breathing evened out, and Edward began to tuck her comforter around her, noticing just how tired she was.
"No, no, too hot," she drawled lazily, pressing herself against his side, nuzzling her nose in his chest. Her eyes began to flutter closed, but she still mumbled out, "Can't fall asleep, sleep bad. Gotta keep talking, have to keep you here with me."
"Bella," Edward said, intensity in his voice, "I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever."
"S'not going anywhere ever," she repeated, and quickly gave in to slumber. Edward pulled her even tighter against him and began stroking her hair, content to watch her sleep for hours.
Dreams were fickle things, but tonight Bella slept dreamless and peaceful. Finally.
Dear lovelies, each review I get in my inbox puts an automatic smile on my face. If you have taken the time to review, I hope you get showered with many a-kiss (or many a-Cullen/Hale of your choosing). Reviewing just makes the whole fanfiction experience so wonderful and interactive.