He stood in the back of Dix's reception room, watching the others eat and drink, laugh and talk. An outsider might lift an eyebrow over some of the leather attire, but otherwise the scene would appear that of a typical party.
Remus thought it macabre: something out of a Muggle horror film. Werewolves gathered to celebrate the upcoming change.
So close to the full moon, his senses were uncomfortably heightened. The music was too loud; the bass pounded through his body. Illumination orbs seemed to glare. The air was heavy with the scent of incense and various perfumes and colognes. His muscles tensed. Animal instinct urged him to escape. Human determination made Remus stay.
Delia Bowen walked over to stand beside him. "They act like it's a bleedin' cocktail party," she said in a low voice. "No one's noticed that Kemp hasn't shown. He could be in jail—or dead. No one would care except me."
"I'd care," said Remus.
Her square jaw thrust out. "Why? He's not your friend."
"He's a human being."
She laughed bitterly. "He's a werewolf. Less than human to the Ministry."
"We're not the Ministry."
Delia looked down at the beer in her hand. She raised the bottle to drain the contents. "That means we have no trials," she said. "Only judgment and execution."
Remus glanced around. No one was in hearing distance. He asked, "Has Kemp done anything that warrants judgment?"
She didn't speak. She didn't have to. The answer was written on her face.
Sympathy compelled Remus to say, "If Kemp's earned punishment, it isn't a death sentence. He'll survive."
"You can't know that!" Delia's bear-like eyes glittered with anger.
Memories of pain and blood tried to claw their way to the surface. Remus fought them back. "Yes, I can," he said hoarsely.
Will chose that moment to saunter over for a chat. "Hey!" he said, holding up glasses of champagne. "This is some party, eh?" He gestured to the Persian rug. Golden liquid spilled. "Posh digs."
Delia curled her lip. "You're drunk."
Will laughed. "I'm high on life." He offered her a glass.
She drank the champagne like a shot of tequila. "Brilliant idea."
Remus shook his head when Will tried to press the other glass into his hand.
Shrugging, Will drank the champagne and then licked the alcohol that had sloshed onto his fingers. "You don't know how to have fun, Professor." He listened to the music for a moment and then began to sing along.
I want you to see the beast inside of me,
I want you to know the animal I will become.
Remus felt the opposite of the drummer who had written the lyrics. He didn't want his lover to embrace "the beast" or see the darkness inside his soul.
Across the room, someone yelled, "MegaMaggot rocks!"
Will stopped stomping along to the bass lines to yell, "MegaMaggot!" He clapped Remus on the shoulder. "You saw them in concert, Professor. You rock!" He barked with laughter. "Professor of Rock. Hilarious! If only Lillie was here—"
Delia snarled, "The day you turn my daughter is the day I rip your throat out, pup."
Will's expression was a mix of shock and anger. Remus tried to defuse the situation. "He didn't mean it that way."
"N—no. I didn't. I meant she'd laugh her arse off. I'd never hurt Lillie!" Will's face twisted. "You're such a bitch, always looking down on me, thinking the worst—"
"William!" Remus said sharply. "This isn't the place."
"No, it isn't," said Delia. "Look—Dix is about to speak."
The leader cut off the music by picking up the Orpheus Orb. "It's time."
Amid playful howls and cheers, Dix and Brenda led the way to the safe room. Remus was the last to leave the house. It took concentrated effort for his feet to move. He wanted to Apparate, to spend the night with Nymphadora in the Shrieking Shack, not be caged with a pack of animals.
Brenda stood in the doorway of the brick structure, scolding one of the men for bringing a bottle of wine. "Glass and paws don't mix, Travis. Drink it now or save it for later."
Remus waited for Travis to place the bottle on the ground and followed them into the torch lit safe room. The click of the lock turning was loud in the unnatural silence. The pack stood in a semi-circle, all eyes focused on the centre of the room. Kemp, shackled and muzzled, dangled upright by ceiling cables like a training dummy.
Dix stood beside his prisoner. In another setting, he would look the part of a businessman about to publicly reprimand an employee. In this place, he looked far more sinister. He said, "What is the penalty for endangering the pack?"
Cleave stepped forward. "Tooth and claw, blood and bone."
The air in the safe room crackled with tension.
The bound man whimpered.
Delia said, "Lupin says Kemp will survive punishment. Is that true?"
Dix looked at Remus. "He should know."
Remus squared his shoulders against the pressure of questioning stares. His past was no one else's business. He told Dix, "If this is punishment, take off the muzzle. A pack wolf deserves the chance to defend himself."
"Were you allowed to fight?"
Why are you asking? Remus thought.
Dix smiled slightly.
Remus understood. Dix wanted to drive home the point that his leadership was far more liberal than Greyback's. "No," said Remus.
Dix unfastened the muzzle straps.
Kemp choked out, "Thank you." Tears streamed down his face.
Around Remus, pack members were nodding as if impressed by Dix's generosity. Although a few of the women seemed distressed by what was about to take place, not even Delia Bowen spoke against it.
Remus glanced up, past the skylight to the heavens beyond. The moon wasn't in view and moonlight had not yet reached through the glass, but he could sense ethereal fingers quivering in eagerness. He strode across the room, away from the pack.
Cleave padded after him. "There's no use hiding in a dark corner, Lupin. You can't escape what you are."
"How old are you?" said Remus.
Cleave frowned. "Twenty-nine." His tone asked what that had to do with anything.
"I've been a werewolf longer than you've been alive." Remus was tired of being goaded. "I'm well aware of what I become." He sat down and leaned back against the brick wall. The cement floor was cold and uncomfortable. He didn't care. Soon, trivialities like comfort would cease to matter.
Cleave returned to Dix's side. Remus lowered his eyes, not wanting to see Kemp. There was nothing more he could do to help the man.
A familiar pair of trainers stepped into view. Will dropped down to sit on the floor beside him. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"
"I hoped Kemp had left the area of his own accord."
"Not Kemp! Greyback's punishment!"
Remus looked at the boy and shrugged. "You wouldn't have invited me to be your flatmate."
Will's mouth opened and closed several times before he said, "And I'd still think I couldn't do magic."
They sat quietly until Remus felt the change begin. He scrambled to his feet.
"What's wrong with you?" cried Will.
Pain drove Remus to his knees. He tried to crawl, frantic to distance himself.
Dix's voice rang out. "His wolf is strong to break free without moonlight."
Remus gritted his teeth, curling into a ball. He fought the change with all his strength, desperately holding onto humanity until he heard the cries and groans of others changing. Letting go was almost a relief. His last thought was of Nymphadora. He prayed she wouldn't dream.
-
The wolf opened his eyes to find himself in a strange cave with an unfamiliar pack. He sniffed the air. There was no trace of his mate. Where was she?
While the others frolicked together like overgrown pups, he searched for the entrance. He would leave and find his mate.
On the far side of the cave, he found the entrance blocked. The barrier smelled of dead wood but was strong as stone. He pushed with his body. He clawed at the tiny gap which let fresh air into the cave. Nothing worked. The barrier remained in place.
A questioning chuff brought his gaze to a she-wolf standing nearby. Her thick frame and dull coat could not compare to the slender body and smooth fur of his mate. His answering chuff was dismissive.
She padded closer.
He growled. His mate had eyes bright with youth and strength. This she-wolf looked past breeding age. He was not interested.
A howl split the night.
The wolf obeyed the authoritative call for attention, turning to the one who stood stiff-legged and tall in the middle of the cave—the pack alpha. At his side was a larger wolf who stood relaxed with fur bristled slightly: the beta.
On the ground beside the alpha, an older pack member whined like a pup. He jerked away only to pull up short, halted by restraints.
Instinctively, the wolf bared his teeth in reaction. He remembered how it felt to be held by unnatural bonds.
The alpha snarled and nipped the prisoner. A yelp echoed against stone. The alpha barked commandingly.
A she-wolf with yellowish underfur padded over to rub her muzzle against the alpha's snout. After nuzzling her mate, the alpha female pounced on the captive and almost playfully bit an ear. Blood trickled down his fur.
Yowls of pain acted as signal to the pack. The beta rushed forward. Wolves swarmed after him. Unable to escape, the bound wolf lunged at the tormentors who attacked him from every side. It became a game. Pack members took turns nipping and scratching while avoiding their pack-mate's snapping jaws.
The wolf who watched them turned away to dig at the crevice between the stone and dead wood. He ignored the female lying nearby.
Eventually, the two that remained beside the barrier were the only ones who had not made their mark on the one being punished. The alpha gave a sharp bark. The she-wolf walked slowly forward. Tail tucked between her legs, she approached the bloody figure on the ground and nipped his back leg. He whimpered. She turned away.
The alpha and beta padded over to the wolf continuing to claw the stone-like wood in an effort to dig his way out of the cave. The deep, rumbling noise made by the beta was a warning. The alpha chuffed and looked back at the captive.
The pair had given an ultimatum. Either the wolf joined in punishing the captive, or he would be made omega—the scapegoat—lowest in the pack.
There was no real choice. The wolf was alpha of his own pack. He would not become omega in this one. Omegas were not allowed to mate. He loped past the two, shouldering his way through the pack. In a burst of motion, he lunged forward, biting the prisoner on the soft pad of his front paw. Blood spurted. The howls of the pack drowned out yelps of pain.
The wolf resumed his position near the crack in the barrier. He lay down with his snout on his paws. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply in hopes of catching the scent of his mate.
-
Tonks looked down at the piece of jade in her hand. "I want to be with Remus," she said, her voice loud in the silent attic. Feeling like an idiot for believing Annis Black, she slipped the rock beneath her pillow and lay down on the mattress. After a minute, she rolled off the bed and strode over to the wardrobe. Her MegaMaggot tee and red slipper socks didn't seem proper attire.
Knock, Knock!
"Who's there?" she called out, laughing a little.
"Jerry."
She grinned, opening the door. "Jerry who?"
He didn't get the knock-knock joke reference. Her Auror partner was staring at her, wide-eyed. "Are you going out somewhere?"
Tonks glanced down and hastily fastened her cloak to cover bare legs. "No. I was just going to bed."
"As Little Red Riding Hood?"
"It's a Cardinal cloak," she said, stroking the scarlet cloth. "Warm and comfy with a satin lining. Remus gave it to me." She sighed at the memory of sitting on his lap, listening to him read Larcernella Rubra out of his mother's book of fairy tales in Latin.
"Oh." Jerry held out a black velvet money pouch. Galleons and sickles clinked together. "You left this downstairs."
She took it, shaking her head. "Shows I need sleep, huh? Ta, thanks."
"No problem. Goodnight."
"'Night."
Jerry started to leave and then turned back. "If your room isn't warm enough I know a charm, or I could transfigure you another quilt."
"It's fine," she said. "And you already did your good deed for today, so you're covered."
He flashed a sheepish smile. "The Scout Law says to help people at all times."
Tonks said, "If you want to help me tomorrow morning, knock on the door a half hour before we're expected to make rounds. I might sleep through the alarm."
"Okay. Goodnight."
She affected a granny voice. "Bless you, sonny! You're a credit to scouting!"
Jerry chuckled.
Tonks waggled her fingers in farewell and ducked back into the attic. She settled on the bed and closed her eyes, consciously tensing and relaxing her muscles. I want to be with Remus, she thought over and over, until her eyes grew heavy and her mind drifted like a cloud into the realm of dreams.
-
She ran through the forest, calling his name. There was barely enough moonlight to light the path. She stumbled and almost fell, wishing for one tenth the grace her body displayed as an animal. The wind whooshed through the trees. Snowflakes drifted down from the branches. Even with a cloak, knee-high boots, and a Warming Charm, Tonks shivered. It wasn't from the cold. The forest wasn't safe.
Where was Remus?
She decided to go to the cave. He could be there, waiting.
Once she left the forest, she could see the full moon. On this night, there was a reddish cast to the pale radiance. It was the Blood Moon. "Goes with my outfit," Tonks said to herself. She lifted the full red skirt trimmed in black to keep the hem from dragging across the snow. Trousers would have been much more practical. "Bloody fairy tales," she muttered. "Putting daft thoughts of a grown up version of Little Red Riding Hood into my head."
She had reached the stream where she and the wizard scouts once rested. Tonks was about to sit on a low boulder when she heard a growl. Startled, she tried to rise, lost her footing, and toppled sideways to the ground. When she lifted her head, Tonks was face to face with a werewolf. Her heart leapt. "Remus."
He sniffed the air. In a motion that made her breath catch, the wolf lowered his muzzle to sniff her hair. She shivered when canine teeth gently nibbled the strands. "Bet I had a leaf in my hair." she whispered, reaching out to sift through his fur with trembling fingers.
The werewolf gave a chuff and wheeled around to trot up the hillside.
"Where you lead, I'll follow," said Tonks. She pushed herself to her feet and shook out her skirt. "So much for keeping my dress tidy."
By the time they reached the pile of rocks that concealed the entrance to the cave, heavy snow was falling. She didn't even try to climb. Tonks levitated over.
The wolf gave a short bark when her feet touched the ground.
"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying," she said, brushing off snowflakes as she trailed him into the cave. "Brr...This place is in dire need of some light, warmth and comfort." She cast a few charms and then sat down on what she considered their spot.
The wolf watched her intently from a few metres away. His eyes glowed amber.
She held out her hand. "I don't why I didn't change. I kept chanting that I wanted to be with you. I just didn't say how. I'm sorry." Tonks bent as low as she could, keeping her hand outstretched. "Remus, come to me." Her eyes pricked with tears. "Please..."
He took a step and then another.
Tonks closed her eyes in relief and joy when his snout nudged her fingertips. "Remus...Remus," she whispered, longing to throw her arms around him. She didn't. He wasn't a tame wolf. She was grateful that he chose to lie down beside her, and that when she stroked his fur, he allowed the contact. She caressed him until the motion lulled her to sleep.
When she awoke, morning sunlight had entered the cave. Her fingers were no longer tangled in the ruff of fur framing the face of a wolf. Brown hair flecked with grey spilled across her hand. She gazed into amber, human eyes and kissed the man she loved. "Remus."
His lips moved beneath hers, firm and seductive. "Nymphadora."
She unfastened her cloak and let it fall. "It's been so long."
Remus caressed her body in a far less innocent fashion than she'd stroked the wolf. "Not here," he said. "Not like animals."
The open-mouthed kiss he pressed to her throat caused desire to flare sharply. Tonks closed her eyes. When she opened them, she and Remus were no longer in the cave. They were lying on a carpet of white flowers inside a fairy ring. Outside the enchanted circle, snow blanketed the ground. She looked down at him and smiled. "Will this do?"
"It's warm and we're naked." Remus rolled Tonks onto her back, grinning wolfishly. "It will do beautifully."
-
A/N: Yes, fellow Three Days Grace fans, (there's got to be at least a couple of you, heh) I had 'Animal I Have Become' in mind when Will was singing the MegaMaggot song. I changed the words because of FF restrictions, but that's the music. I know I've said it before in the notes of another story, but from the first time I heard the song (June of '06!), I've thought of Remus. (Anyone not familiar with alternative rock can go to youtube dot com and see the video—and maybe stomp along to the bass lines—or google the lyrics to understand why it fits.) And after watching the video, if anyone has time and interest, they can check out Amy Lee from Evanescence's take on Little Red Riding Hood in 'Call Me When You're Sober' (love the wolf and her cloak!) Remus gave Tonks the Cardinal cloak in ch 20 of A Wolf in the Moonlight. The last line of that fic was It was the happiest Christmas of my life. I hope every reader feels that way about this Christmas, and if not, at least have a happy holiday and a wonderful new year!
The readers whose reviews last chapter brightened my holidays were...40/16, adrienne06052, alix33, Carnivalgirl, ElspethBates, Enorance, Freja Lercke-Falkenborg, GoodQueenA, GraceRichie, ishandtwofourths, ladyofthebookworms, lbf1412, MollyCoddles, Moontime, Mrs.Hermione Jane Weasley, n1264, obliviate36, Operamuse, sofia666, sunny9847, tambrathegreat, Too. Nice. 1108, twouble, UnderworldBabe, Writer Merrin, and Ziroana.