Mickey: Last time on Total Drama Kingdom, the teams were dissolved into one. Leaving everyone to look out for themselves. The boys got along swimmingly, while the girls had some minor disagreement, but there were a lot of "minor disagreements", apparently. In the Dinner of Death, the boys dominated and won the major prize. An all-expense paid trip to the Disney's Grand Floridian hotel and resort. No one went home, but the girls might just kill each other. Ladies and gentlemen, this is TOTAL...DRAMA...KINGDOM.
(Theme Song)
(The cruise ship pulls up to the docks with the boys partying on top. The boys get off)
Cloud: That was awesome!
Riku: You said it, dude.
Sora: I went into that massage center like 10 times.
Leon: With girls like that massaging you, I could live there.
Aerith: No fair. It should be me getting massages by hot girls... I mean guys.
(All the players are lined up at the dock)
Mickey: So You have made it to the half-way point yes, but this is the part where we pull the best twist of all. The big kahuna. The major boom. We are bringing back two fan-favorites.
Everyone: *gasps* ect.
Mickey: Ha. I thought you'd say that. Anyway, Fan-favorite number one, please welcome the boy you all voted before his time, it's... Roxas.
(Roxas arrives on a boat)
Roxas: Hey guys. Been a while since I was here.
Yuffie: But it was only a few weeks.
Roxas: Either way I'm glad to be back.
Mickey: That's nice. Well our next player coming back is the terrifying Tifa.
(A boat pulls up with Tifa)
Tifa: ARGG! (Throws boat at the island)
Tifa: So You don't think I'm "drama" material. Huh? (to Aerith) Answer me princess!
Aerith: Uhh, yeah.
Tifa: So you admit being the backstabbing witch who voted me of in the first place. Mark my words goody-girl, I will have vengence.
Aerith: Uhhh. (shaking)
Tifa: (Pulls a tree out of the groun and chases Aerith around with it)
Yuffie: (whispering to Mickey) You mean she was a fan-favorite.
Mickey: (Whispering to Yuffie) Well.......... no, but the producers seemed to like her.
At the challenge
(Mickey is on a stage in fron of bleachers)
Mickey: Welcome players. So if you thought we were tough on you before, wait till you see this next challenge. This challenge will test your ability, stamina, and endurence. Players, you are on the WHEEL...OF...MISFORTUNE. You will each spin the wheel (wheel of Fortune-type wheel drops from the sky and lands in between the players and Mickey). Each space is indicated with a number. I will read off the matching card and whatever it is, you have to tdo it. If you do not finish the task, you will be eliminated. If you complete your task, you choose who goes next. The last one standing after everyone has gone wins. Got it? Good, cause Sora, you're up.
Sora: (Spins wheel) It's a 4. What's 4?
Mickey: Not good dude. You have to sit through 10 seconds of nothing but... elavator... music.
Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Sora writhes for the 10 seconds, but lasts)
Mickey: Wow, that was though. So Sora, you lasted. Who's it gonna be.
Sora: *grunts* Ow! My ears, but no thanks. I'm good. You can decide.
Mickey: Ok then. Next on the list is... TIFA.
(Tifa goes up and spins the wheel)
Tifa: It's a 6. Someone better tell what I have to do before I...
Mickey: Alright alright, jeez. Number 6 is... oh my God.
Mickey: When the torture, I mean challenge director, Donald, asked me to help choose the misfortune. I gave him this one, but I said "Donald, I hope no one gets this. It'll be really good for ratings, but really bad for lawsuits" I hoped it wouldn't come to this but... Tifa's goion' in.
Mickey: Number 6 is.......... wrestle the... monster from... "Runaway Brain".
(Look up "Runaway Brain" online if you don't know what the monster looks like)
Everyone (besides Tifa): *gasps*
Tifa: What that's it?
Mickey:............... Yeah, why?
Tifa: Ha, I could do that in my sleep.
(Tifa approaches the cage holding the monster)
Mickey: Oh, did I mention it's a "cage match".
Tifa: Makes it all the easier.
(Tifa enters the cage, dodges the first tackle and grabs the monster by the toe and swings it around slamming it's head on the cage bars)
Mickey:...................... 0_o. And Tifa succeds. So, you know the drill, Tifa. Who's up next.
Tifa: Hmm. I pick Aerith because she's a lying, backstabbing *BEEP*ing *BEEP* and evreyone knows it.
Mickey: Yeah, I'm gonna ask you not to swear again because in the few seconds it took you to finish them, we got 2 dozen e-mails from angry mothers..... Anywho, Aerith. Spin it, baby!
(Aerith spins)
Aerith: Is 12 bad?
Mickey: Yeah. You must spend 3 minutes in the kitchen freezer.
Aerith: *gasps* No!
Mickey: Yes...
Cloud: Mickey WAIT!
Mickey: Cloud?
Cloud: I'll take her place.
Aerith: Aww that's so sweet.
Tifa: WHAT! He can't do that.
Mickey: True, but I guse it is time for some good ol' fasion revenge for the sewage incident. Oh well. Cloud, chill out... Hahahahahahaha. I don't mean to give you the "cold shoulder" I guess you have to stay "cool" hahaha about this "chilling" news, but I hope you don't get th "cold" feet hahahahaha and the "icy"....
Cloud: Whatever.
(Cloud goes into the freezer, but burts out later shivering with blue skin and frost on his hair)
Riku: My watch say that was three minutes.
Mickey: Oh wel the oficial clock says 2 minutes and 59.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999 seconds.
Cloud: C-c-c-co'mon m-m-man.
Mickey: Either way, it's not 3. Sorry. Rules are rules.
Mickey: Next up is... Riku.
(Riku goes up and spins the wheel)
Riku: 1.
Mickey: Spend 5 minutes with pissed-off, over-opionated, know-it-all, poor rednecks. Brutal*
(*No offense to any pissed-off, over-opionated, know-it-all, poor rednecks)
Riku: Dang it.
(Riku starts his visit, but jumps out screaming a writhing 2 minutes later)
Mickey: Rough, huh.
Riku: Y-y-y-yeah. (short of breath) they think they know it all, man. (wheezing) They don't know anything. (faints)
Mickey: So bye-bye Riku. Yuffie, your up.
(Yuffie spins an 8)
Mickey: Lay in a bed of porcupines.
(Completes it, chooses Leon)
(Leon spins a 13)
Mickey: Eat pig testicles.
(Does not complete)
(Aerith spins a 23)
Mickey: Pester a bull.
(Deos not complete)
(Roxas spins a 3)
Mickey: Stay in shark infested waters for one minute.
(Does not complete)
(Sora spins a 16)
Mickey: Talk about ponies and sunshine to a hardcore goth for 3 minutes*
(*No offense to hardcore goths either)
(Does not complete)
Mickey: People we are down to are last two competitors. Tifa and Yuffie.
(Tifa spins a 7)
Mickey: Drink out of the toilet.
(Completes, chooses Yuffie)
Mickey: hug an angry bear.
(completes, Chooses Tifa)
(Tifa spins a 19)
Mickey: Got paintballs shot at you.
(Completes, chooses Yuffie)
Mickey: Ok this is enough. There will be one last round of torture. THATS IT. The one who lasts longest wins.
(Tifa and Yuffie stand on poles while holding 20 pounds of rotten eggs)
(Yuffie has better balance that Tifa and wins)
MIckey: And the very first induvidual immunity goes to... Yuffie.
Tifa: WHAT! I want a rematch.
Mickey: Haha yeah, no. I'll see you at eliminations.
Eliminations
Mickey: Ok, so you'll never guess how frickin' awesome this is...
Cloud: You're getting fired. (High fives Leon)
Mickey:............... No. We finally got a TV repair man. So, now we can air your dirty laundy to the whole world. Let's check it out.
Sora: I say Yuffie because I know she had something to do with Kairi getting the boot.
Leon: Tifa. That chick is CRAZy, dude.
Cloud: Tifa, because no one messes with my chick without paying for it.
Yuffie: Wow, I can't beleive how this new skin cleanser works. I feel so smooth. Oh yeah. I vote for Tifa because she's scary, and I mean REALLY scary.
Aerith: Please please pleeeease be Tifa. Boy I am glad that the TV was out.
Riku: Probably Aerith, for her own protection. If her and Tifa are here together any longer, she's dead.
Roxas: Leon. I know he voted me off be fore and he'll do it again.
Tifa: No one should vote for me unless they want to end up leaving this show... in body bags. And I choose Aerith.
Mickey: What is up with you guys. Could there be much more hate in the group. But that's still majority against Tifa.
Tifa : WHAT! I'm not finished I will have my revenge. You hear me...
(Mickey shoots her with a tranquilizer dart)
Mickey: What? It's for protection. (to crew offscreen) haul her away guys. (To screen) Well that was fun. Tune in for the next episode of TOTAL...DRAMA...KINGDOM.