Inside Snape's quarters, two chairs stood at opposite ends of the table in the centre of the book-filled room. Two, when there was usually one. The snarky git had planned to hear her out even before she'd made wild promises.
The door shut with a soft click. "What would Lupin say if he knew you approached me instead of Dumbledore?"
She remained standing. "Doesn't matter. He's in trouble and I'm going to get him out of it."
"Lupin understood the risks—"
"And he's prepared to take the punishment for—doing something I can't tell you about." She shook her hand to get rid of the pins and needles that started pricking when she'd almost divulged pack secrets. Tonks dug her fingernails into her palms to keep composure. "Some of the werewolves are afraid Greyback means to kill him."
"All the more reason to go to Dumbledore."
"I have no proof," she said tightly. "Dumbledore sent Remus on this mission. What if he told me not to interfere? To trust things will work out?"
"What if he did?"
"I'd tell him to bugger off."
Thin lips twitched upwards at the corners. "I imagine you would."
"So will you help me? It'll be worth your while."
"Define worth my while."
Tonks glanced around the room. "Is there a drinks cabinet?"
A decanter and a glass appeared on the table.
"Ta, thanks." She dumped Firewhiskey into the glass and took a gulp. The sting brought tears to her eyes. She coughed. "Water!"
"Aguamenti."
The glass refilled with water. "Sorry," Tonks said between sips. "Too much bottled courage." After a pause, she said, "I'm not asking you to help directly—"
"You failed to answer my question."
That was because she didn't have any answers. She was making things up as she went along. Tonks said, "Tell me what you need."
"Nothing."
"Fine. I'll tell you what I need," she said. "We'll work from there." She took a seat and drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. "I don't want to fight the pack; I want to go in, get Remus, get out, and make sure they can't follow."
"You require an incapacitating agent."
Tonks snapped her fingers. "Knockout gas! I read about it in . . . ." She hesitated to admit where.
"Muggle fiction?"
She pretended not to notice his sneer. "Is there a magical counterpart?"
"Yes." He retrieved a tome from a high bookshelf that looked old and well used. "Animo Linqui Potion in the gaseous state, held within a glass sphere." He scanned a page. "You intend to drop the sphere into a chamber to render the wolves unconscious."
"I was thinking humans, actually."
"Impossible. This isn't a solution for boils. Animo Linqui requires twelve hours to reach potency."
Twelve hours! The sun would set around three o'clock. There was barely enough time. "You don't have any on hand?"
Snape gave her a speaking look.
"All right," she said, "You brew it, I'll owe you." That sounded ominous. A deal with the devil as her Gran would say. She tried to think positive. Since it wouldn't be ready until moonrise, "At least they'll all be in the warehouse," she said. "I won't have to worry about guards, or someone being upstairs instead of on the ground floor. I can use a Featherlight spell on Remus and levitate him out of there."
Snape re-shelved the book.
His silence made Tonks nervous. "I have the day off," she said. "I'll help. Tell me what to do and I'll do it."
"I work alone."
Always? She refused to believe he'd never had a partner or friend of any kind. In a flash of desperate inspiration, she said, "There's got to be someone you wouldn't mind hanging round. I could change my appearance. Whisper instead of talk—like I have a sore throat."
"Your metamorphosing—"
"An Appearance Charm will work if you're the one casting it." She stretched out her fingers. "All I have to do is look at my hands, whatever shape they are, and I can almost become the person. See for yourself."
"I told you before, no widening of the eyes is necessary." Snape's gaze pierced her mind. Images rose to the surface.
She was a grandfather with a boyish smile . . . an aristocratic Malfoy . . . a showgirl . . . a wife making lunch for her husband . . . .
Snape broke eye contact. "You impersonated Lucius Malfoy?"
"His pimp cane helped."
"Who was that man at the end?"
"Andrew Hopkins. He gave me a book his wife illustrated for Remus' mother. To thank him, I made lunch."
"You pretended to be his dead wife."
"I wasn't pretending," she said. "I was graceful, serene—I was Anne." She didn't know how else to put it.
Snape conjured a glass and fixed himself a drink. "If I accept this offer, I will still expect your aid in the future."
She had no problem with being helpful, even if it meant another trip into the Forbidden Forest. "Anything that isn't illegal, immoral, or unethical," she said. "I'll give a Witch's Handshake on it."
He took her hand; noticed her flinch in anticipation. "You've done this before."
"Yeah, it was so much fun I—Aaahhh!" She hated the dagger-stabbing-hand sensation.
Snape released her fingers and poured another drink. "A final stipulation. Non-negotiable. You will tell no one of our agreement, reveal nothing of what has or will transpire in these chambers."
"Of course." He was a Slytherin. He believed in self-preservation, not chivalry. It was in his best interest that Dumbledore never find out.
Hers, too, with an added benefit: she wouldn't have to tell Remus what she'd done to get the knockout gas. Devilishly convenient, she could hear her Gran say. Better the devil I know, Tonks thought. She said, "If you let me borrow a set of robes, they'll be sure to fit . . . whoever . . . ."
"Indeed." Snape touched a shelf that swung backward to expose a doorway. "You will find robes, but no mirrors in my quarters. Call out and I will cast the charm."
She wondered what a medi-shrink would say about a man who didn't own a mirror. He hated himself, or had too many bad hair days? "I only need to see the hands," she said.
The bedroom was Spartan in the extreme. There was a narrow bed, a mahogany wardrobe, and a single, ironbound trunk. No rugs warmed the stone floor. The only decorative elements were pair of silver wall sconces on either side of the bed. The rest of the walls were bare.
She was the first woman to step foot in there, she would bet every Galleon she had on it. The room screamed celibate ascetic.
The contents of the wardrobe were another matter. "Wow," Tonks said, taking in the array of tailored robes. "Professor Snarky has more clothes than I do."
Plain black robes caught her eye. Were they Snape's old student robes? If they were, he was a worse clothes pack rat than she was. Tonks stripped to her knickers and put them on. They were the most suitable for potion making.
She called out, "Ready!"
It was as if a cold finger trailed down her spine. Tonks shuddered and looked at her hands.
I'm young, was her first thought. The skin was smooth and pale. Elegant fingers, not long, but slender. The fingernails were short and unpolished. I'm practical and capable. She ran a hand through "her" long hair and pulled a length forward. The colour was dark red. I'm strong-willed, she thought with a smile, hiking the robes up to assess legs and feet. They matched the fingers, slender, average length, and pretty.
"You said you only needed to see your hands."
She let the robes drop to the floor. "They're too long, Sev," she whispered.
He tensed.
For an instant, she thought she'd misread the situation, that the girl with red hair wasn't a friend from Hogwarts days—someone who could shorten his name without being hexed for it.
Then Snape shrugged. "I'll transfigure them."
"Thanks."
"You should wear shoes," he said when he was done.
Her current persona didn't seem the combat boots type. "My socks are warm."
"Very well." He spun on his heel and returned to the library.
Instead of Firewhiskey, equipment stood on the table. There were jars of ingredients, a set of scales, silver knives, and a cauldron heating over the blue flames of a magical fire. Instinctively, she held her hair back with one hand and reached into a robe pocket with the other. She pulled out a ribbon.
"I . . . ." Snape trailed off into silence.
Tonks sympathised. What could he say—I stole your hair ribbon? The fact that it had remained in his pocket spoke volumes. She said softly, "You found it. Thank you." She glanced down at the strip of emerald-green velvet.
"It matches your eyes."
There was tenderness in his voice. Oh, Merlin, Snape had loved the stupid witch and she'd been oblivious. Tonks thought of Jerry and blinked back tears. Maybe the girl had been wilfully blind, just like her. She tied back her hair, determined not to let the memory of this friendship be ruined. "That's why it's my favourite," she said lightly. She walked over to the table and picked up a knife. "Tell me about the potion we're making."
He glided over to join her. "The name is Animo Linqui."
They worked together smoothly, with Snape measuring and adding the ingredients she prepared. Tonks never faltered or had to ask "Sev" to repeat any part of his instructions. It was as if she had borrowed the girl's intuitive grasp of potion making along with her appearance.
"How often do we stir?" she asked when the potion simmered over low heat.
"Every hour. If you would care to rest—"
"I'm not sleepy." She was, but sleeping in Snape's bed was a line Tonks refused to cross. She would take naps in the chair.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
Food would keep her awake. She nodded.
"I'll go to the kitchen."
He was out the door before she could tell him not to go to any trouble, that any snack he had in his rooms would be fine. Jerry had done the same, many times. Tonks sighed and decided to get in a catnap.
She didn't realise she'd fallen asleep until a hand shook her awake. "Time to stir?" she mumbled. She opened her eyes and saw black—the black of Snape's robes. She was lying on her side on his bed. "What time is it?"
"Two o'clock."
Hades. The potion hadn't begun simmering until two in the morning. If it was two in the afternoon, she had slept for twelve hours. How?
You know how, a little voice whispered in the back of her mind. Snape used a Sleep Charm.
She didn't think for a moment he'd done it out of base motives. There was purity—strange as that sounded—in his regard for the girl. It was easy to imagine him carrying her into the room and then casting a spell to ensure she wouldn't wake when he touched her hair, stroked her cheek, and pretended illusion was reality.
Her throat clogged with tears Snape would hex her for if she let them fall. The last thing he wanted was pity.
"The Animo Linqui is contained within three spheres," Snape said. "That number should be more than sufficient." His tone was brisk, impersonal. "A meal will be delivered shortly."
She looked at her hand. The fingers were longer than the red haired girl's had been, with nails painted black. She whispered, "You didn't want to say goodbye?"
"Never."
Oh gods, she was losing it. Tonks rolled off the bed. "I'm going to take a shower." She made it into the bathroom and turned on the water before she broke down. Bloody effing Hades, why did life have to be so sad?
She released a shuddery breath and looked around for soap. It was next to a flagon of shampoo on a ledge tiled to resemble a python curled up on a tree limb. On the floor, mosaic yellow-bellied sea snakes swam in a turquoise ocean. The wall tiles portrayed flying snakes. I'm starting to sense a theme, Tonks thought with a faint smile. She picked up the shampoo. During her schooldays, rumour had it that Snape used a potion to slick down his hair because it was naturally frizzy. One day in Potions, Tonks drew a cartoon of Snape with an afro that sent her friend Julia into a fit of giggles and earned them both detentions.
She felt her hair after she dried off. The strands felt clean, not oily. Too bad she couldn't tell Julia. In the bedroom, her jumper, jeans, and cloak weren't stacked on the trunk where she'd left them. She yelled, "Hey, where'd you put my clothes?"
In the next room, someone gasped. It was a feminine sound.
Snape's voice travelled through the doorway. "In the wardrobe next to your rucksack."
Tonks opened the door and lifted out a black rucksack. Three glass spheres filled with yellow vapour were inside, cushioned by a substance that resembled blue candyfloss. Her stomach rumbled.
She dressed and brought the rucksack with her into the library. The table was set for two, no cauldron or visitor in sight. "I almost ate some of the packing material I'm so hungry," she said. "It looks like candyfloss."
"It's lethal," Snape replied.
"I guessed that." She placed the rucksack beside her chair. "Thank you for everything."
Snape waved her toward the food. "Eat."
Tonks sat and wolfed down a chicken sandwich and half a dozen strawberries. "Was that Pomfrey I heard gasping in shock?"
"Yes."
He didn't divulge details so she didn't ask for any. She had bigger concerns. "How long will it take for the knockout gas to work?"
"Animo Linqui is instantaneous."
"How long does unconsciousness last?"
"There has been no animal testing."
Great. He didn't know. "I'll follow it with a round of Incarcerous," she said.
"Prudent."
"Well, I'd better be going," she said. "It's almost moonrise." She picked up the rucksack. "Wish me luck."
Snape arched a brow.
Tonks rolled her eyes. Right. He thought the only good werewolf was a dead one. Prejudiced git. She said on her way out the door, "Fine, but if I don't come back, you don't collect."
"I'll collect."
Tonks kept walking. Somehow, his confident tone encouraged more than well wishes.
She left the castle and made a trip to the Shrieking Shack before strolling into Hamish's sport shop. "Hullo!" she said. "Happy Boxing Day!"
Hamish acted surprised to see her. "I heard you were ill," he said.
My, gossip travelled fast. Tonks winked. "I'm taking a mental health break." She jerked her head toward a selection of holdalls. "Any of those enchanted? I need one that can stretch to—oh—a metre's width and two metres length."
"The Atlas Telamon is advertised to hold an entire Quidditch team's kit."
"Not the sky?"
Hamish smiled at the reference to Greek mythology. "It's a titan among holdalls, though, and it's wheeled."
"Sold," she said.
It was difficult to mask her impatience when Hamish took his time ringing up her purchase and clipping off the manufacturer and sales tags. The sky grew darker by the minute. Soon the moon would be full.
Tonks Apparated from the street outside the shop to the entrance of the Hog's Head and pushed her way through the crowd to reach the Floo. At Inverness Station, she waved to the security troll and hurried outside. She hopped into a Squire Cab and told the driver where she wanted to go.
If he thought she was crazy for wanting to drive around an area until she recognised her destination, the cabbie didn't show it. He nodded and pulled away from the kerb.
The rundown industrial estate Will had directed her matched Remus' description perfectly: a home for the forsaken. Some of the warehouses appeared structurally unsound. Broken glass and graffiti marked others. Between two buildings, Tonks glimpsed boarded up windows. Her heart jolted. "Stop here," she said.
"You sure, lady?"
She handed over the fare. "As I'll ever be."
Tonks held her wand at the ready as she approached the warehouse. The area looked deserted. Everyone was inside, getting furry. She gripped the rucksack tightly and cast a levitation spell.
There was no skylight on the roof, so she "drew" a large square with her wand and cried, "Evanesco." A hole appeared. She crouched down and peered into the warehouse. The only light came from enchanted torches on the walls, but it was enough for her to see the pack surrounding a wolf muzzled and bound with chains. They milled around but didn't attack. Were they toying with him? Waiting for their leader to give the signal? "Hang on, baby," she said.
A wolf with silvery fur lifted his head. His lips drew back in a snarl.
Greyback! Tonks aimed a glass sphere at his head. Her throw fell short. The breaking glass startled the wolves; they leapt back and then padded forward, sniffing the yellow gas. "That's it, breathe it in." She dropped another sphere.
Within seconds, every wolf had fallen to the ground. Tonks waited until the gas dissipated, hooked the straps of the rucksack over her shoulders, and jumped. A Supergravity Spell slowed her momentum. She floated down to the floor and aimed her wand, casting an Incarcerous at each wolf. When she reached Greyback, Tonks bound him and then cried, "Repello Lupis!"
His body flew across the room to crash against the wall. She resisted the urge to kick his skull in.
Remus wasn't chained to the floor, so she only had to cast a Featherlight Spell in order to move his body. She unfolded the holdall, patting the black mesh at the top. "It's to let clothes breathe," she told her unconscious sweetie. "I figured it would work for wolves too."
Tonks unzipped the holdall and carried Remus over. She slid him into the bag on his side, carefully folding his tail so the fur wouldn't be caught in the zipper. She kissed his muzzle through the mesh. "Comfy? Let's go."
Levitating with a bulky holdall in her arms was tricky, but she managed. Apparating was easier. She wanted to take Remus away from Inverness with all her heart.
Remus' chains made clink-clink-clink sounds as she wheeled the holdall up the steps to the Floo station. Once inside, there was only the odd rattle. "Sports equipment," she told the security troll when he leaned forward to eye her bag. "My wizard scout troop is going to be over the moon."
The troll leaned back.
Tonks waggled her fingers in parting and strolled toward the Floo, grateful she wouldn't have to try to toss her last knockout sphere and make a mad dash while holding her breath. She carried Remus into the Floo by his middle. It felt like she was hugging a big stuffed animal. She dropped the Floo Powder and spoke her destination."
The London Floo station was hectic and noisy. She sighed contentedly and wheeled the holdall outside.
Grimmauld Place remained cheerfully inviting as ever. Tonks released the wards and carried Remus over the threshold. "Next time, you carry me," she said.
The body in her arms shifted.
Tonks jogged for the stairs. Don't wake up yet, don't wake up, she thought, climbing the steps as fast as possible. She pulled her love into the attic, shrugged off the rucksack, and used the chalk and candles from the Shrieking Shack to form a containment circle. Part of her wanted to save the holdall, but caution won out. She cast a Vanishing Spell.
Freed, the wolf raised his head.
Ensnared by his eyes, Tonks stepped over the line of chalk.
-
Remus awoke from a dream of wolves to find Nymphadora smiling down at him. His head was resting in her lap. "Am I still dreaming?" he asked groggily.
She bent down to kiss him. "No. We're at Grimmauld Place. You're safe."
He rubbed a hand across his face. "Safe . . . how . . .?" His brain didn't seem to want to function.
"I found out where you were, picked up some knockout gas, dropped it through a hole in a roof, and rescued you." She smoothed his hair back. "Your wolf didn't like being carted around in a holdall, but he forgave me."
Nymphadora's breezy tone didn't match the apprehension in her eyes. Remus sat up and marshalled his thoughts.
The dream . . . wolves running through the forest . . . wolves . . . .
Realisation sank in. His mission was over. Greyback would see to that. Remus would be branded a coward and an outcast. No pack in Britain would listen to a word he had to say ever again. Nymphadora's "rescue" had negated every positive inroad he had made in Salford and Inverness. He said, "I didn't ask to be rescued."
"Yes, you did. You sent me your wand."
"For safe-keeping."
"Because you were in trouble and couldn't use your mirror." Her eyes were large and pleading. "I couldn't sit in my room and do nothing. I went to Salford."
"Then Dix will know it was you." Remus took Nymphadora's hands. "Greyback will know."
Her fingers tightened around his. "No one will tell him anything. They're too afraid."
He gently pulled his hands away. "I didn't use the mirror because I gave my word that I would accept the consequences of my actions." He wondered if she had any idea what she'd done. "You made me break my word."
Nymphadora's lips trembled. "Greyback planned to kill you."
"I've survived his punishment before."
"This time was different!"
Remus shook his head. "You acted rashly." He rose to his feet, feeling old and tired. "I have to tell Dumbledore," he said. "Unless you—" His momentary hope was dashed by her defiant expression.
"I couldn't trust him," she said. "Not with your life."
"Who did you trust?" The words were said unthinkingly, out of a suspicion that didn't fully take shape until Nymphadora dropped her gaze. "Where did you pick up knockout gas?"
She bit her lip. "It doesn't matter."
"It does to me." Remus turned to leave.
"Where are you going?"
The unsteady whisper tugged at his heartstrings until Remus hardened his resolve. "I'm going to tell the man whose trust has meant everything to me that once again, I have disappointed him," he said. "I'm going to find a way to make things right."
-
A/N: Argh, the angst! Darkness before the light, yadda, yadda, yadda, knowing that didn't stop me from crying over this chapter. I tried to include lighter moments, but I still felt the need for chocolate after I was done.
Better the devil you know than the devil you don't is a saying that means it's better to deal with someone or something you are familiar with and know, even if they aren't ideal, than take a risk with an unknown person or thing. If some readers were icked out by the thought of Tonks being Lily for Snape, blame Jo. She's the one that shoved an eternal torch in his hand! :D
Atlas Telamon means "enduring Atlas" (if she hadn't vanished the holdall, it would've lasted forever, heh). Atlas is shown as holding a celestial sphere, which can give the impression he was forced to hold the earth, but actually it was the sky.
Special Thanks go to Kates Master for reminding me that Percy should have left the house with a messy face in the Christmas chapter. I fixed that so smoothly I'm rather in awe of myself, LOL. The readers who awe and humble me because they took the time to not only read, but review the last chapter were...40/16, alix33, Calenmarwen, Carnivalgirl, ChristinaAngel, ElspethBates, ishandtwofourths, Kates Master, Lady Adrienne Wolfe, ladyofthecelticland, MollyCoddles, Moontime, Rose of the West, sunny9847, tambrathegreat (when Tonks thought about kicking Greyback's skull in, I thought of you. :D), and Ziroana.