o.o Fear the random document I found rusting in my files o.o

I Hate Spatulas

"Come on, Dan. Everyone is doin' it. A little alcohol woan 'urt yeh," a burly twenty-two-year-old said as he attempted to convince poor, naïve Danny into accepting the beer in his hand.

"…I doan tink I should. Ren would kill meh if I go' drunk after las' time when Bob spiked the punch. Wha'ever 'appened te 'im anyways?"

"Ren beat 'im up badly an' 'e ran off. 'Aven't seen 'im since. Not tha' I mind. Come on, a little woan 'urt yeah."

"…I guess a taste wouldn't 'urt." Danny took the offered beer and took a sip. He was rather surprised that it was actually really good.

The man smirked when the fourteen-year-old tilted his head back and drank the rest in a few gulps.

"Wan' some more, Dan?"

"…please?"

"'Ey, Renny? Where's Danny?" the little five-year-old girl asked to Serenity.

"Um… Tat's a good question, Mindy…" Serenity replied slowly.

The two girls were waiting for the local parade to start.

"'Ey, pretty," a voice slurred in Serenity's ear.

"Danny…" Serenity groaned. "Where did yeh ge' the alcohol this time?"

"Fred…"

Serenity didn't say anything when her crush tightly wrapped his arms around her. "Drinkin' is bad, Dan…"

"Nu uh."

"Yes i' is."

"Hmph. Shush, pretty."

Serenity rolled her eyes and pushed his bangs out of his face gently. Maybe she could snag a snogging session out of him and make it look like he forced her… or maybe she forced him, and he would finally realize that were meant to be!

"Yeh need to brush yer teeth," she stated dryly when she smelled his breath from where he was breathing down her neck.

"Yeh are no' my mother," Danny snarled dangerously.

"What am I then?" was asked primly with hope swelling in her chest.

"Meh bes' friend with benefits."

"Danny! Lookie what I got!" Mindy chirped and held up two plastic spatulas.

"Cool," was murmured distractedly as Serenity felt a blush rising when she noticed what he was fixated on.

Paul the police officer narrowed his eyes when he saw a teenager stumbling by a group of what looked like street rats. He hated those savage children with a passion and the opportunity to put one in his place was tempting. Maybe the boy's girlfriend could be busted, too…

With a smirk, Paul strode up to the street filth and said, "May I speak with you, young man?" to the obviously drunk boy.

"Wha…?" was slurred with a Cockney accent.

"Danny, we should be leavin' now…" the girl said gently and tugged at her boyfriend's arm.

Paul blanked when the drunken teen pulled out a spatula the local bakery had been giving out and actually stabbed Paul with it.

"Hey! That hurt you little-!" Paul yelped when the teen kept stabbing him.

"Danny…" the little bitch said desperately.

"Shush," was snapped by the drunk.

"Poke!" a little girl chirped and hit Paul in the balls with her spatula.

"Ow…" Paul squeaked out.

Serenity quietly bribed Danny home with an inner smirk. The drunk vampire picked her up and started to carry her somewhere to warp her with him quickly.

"…maybe I should take us 'ome," she said gently.

"Why?" was asked right as Serenity teleported home.

"I'll be right back, 'kay, hun?" she asked gently and patted Danny's head.

Danny scowled from where she caged him in on his bed. "Meanie…!"

Serenity happily hoped next to her still-drunk future-husband and let him hold her to his chest. She could get used to this.

"Open yer mouth," Serenity said sweetly and shoved a breath mint down Danny's throat.

She couldn't have planned it any more perfectly when Danny held her and started to kiss her no matter what she thought. Mind, you the veela was in heaven right now. Blackmail and kisses from her future huband.

Short and sweet, but hey I forgot this existed.