Title: Smile Like You Mean It
Author: silvermoon8705
Rating: PG-13 - R (for dark themes)
Characters/Pairings: Rose, Ten, Ten 2.0
Spoilers: AU! Diverges from the point at Journey's End when the Doctor and Donna are about to leave Bad Wolf Bay for good.
Disclaimer: Don't own Doctor Who, just playing with its characters.
Summary: She wasn't sure when everything just went downhill.
Author's notes: This is a part of a fic that's still a work in progress. I decided that this part of the fic works well enough as a standalone. Be forewarned - it's not a happy fic and it's not a fix-it post-Journey's End fic. I like how these few scenes of the fic turned out, so I wanted to share it with others...
She wasn't sure when everything just went downhill. Maybe, she wondered, if she hadn't made a rush into the TARDIS -- the human Doctor right behind her -- then she would have been all right.
Possibly if she had just listened to those three simple words that were supposed to mean everything and then had she just accepted them and moved on with this stranger…
That was it – because no matter what any of them told her – the Doctor, Donna -- this copy of the Doctor – it just wasn't what she planned on.
So she was selfish, yes. She'd admit to that, especially now. She picked the worst time to be impulsive and make sure the Doctor – the real Doctor didn't leave her. Not even a consolation prize in the form of him would satisfy her need for just one more shot. One more chance. She didn't want any more final goodbyes.
*
The human Doctor held her back as she kicked him and screamed and cried when the Doctor put his fingers to Donna's temples.
And erased her memories of her time with him…all the things she'd seen. And Rose knew first hand what an amazing person Donna Noble was. But the Doctor had to take it all away. Yes, the only other option was her death, but all those wonderful things she'd done. How could the Doctor ever live with himself? How could he?
"You can't do this!" She yelled at him, but the Doctor paid her no heed.
*
"I'm going to take Donna back to her family. Stay here." He told her slowly as if she wouldn't understand him otherwise.
"I'm not likin' you right now." She muttered under her breath.
The human Doctor tugged on her arm, forcing her to move away from the Doctor and the now asleep Donna.
*
It was almost 24 hours later and the human Doctor wasn't breathing in his bed.
She glared at the Doctor. "You could have saved him! Like you did with Donna!"
"It wasn't the same as Donna's condition. He would have been fine if not for the fever. Just a fever – came too fast and too strong. That's that."
She grabbed his suit jacket and pulled his face closer to hers. "You're supposed to care more. He was a part of you. What is wrong with you?!"
He took her hands away from him and said coldly, "I left you with him. You, Rose Tyler, should have stayed where I left you. Where your family was. You'll never see them again because of your foolishness. The matter is closed."
"You didn't even try! You just let him die. What are you going to do with him? Throw him away? Wish he'd disappear?" Rose said accusingly, ignoring his calling her on her foolishness.
She thought that if she admitted it out loud then she would never be able to live with herself.
The Doctor sighed. "The TARDIS will take care of it."
"Right." She answered and went back to her room on the TARDIS.
Later that night, she sneaked back into the human Doctor's bedroom. He was still there.
She sat by him, taking hold of his cold, dead hand. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I never gave you a chance. I'm sorry…"
She cried herself to sleep, still holding on to his hand.
The Doctor passed by the room early in the morning. Rose was still there.
When she woke up an hour later, her hand was holding on to nothing.
The TARDIS had taken care of it.