Disclaimer: I lost them in a poker game; not mine.

A/N: So I know I promised this would be up by Monday, but the part that I was writing turned out to be a lot longer than I thought. It's still not quite done, so I thought I 'd throw you this little bone to tide you over. Hope it's juicy enough for ya! Thank you for the glorious reviews! Myx

LeonniThams: You asked for non-docile Cath? Mama Bear Cath to come next chapter. Hope you're happy with it. : )

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"What?" She furrowed her brow at me.

Oh ho, don't play dumb with me, missy. "Don't play dumb with me!"

She crossed her arms over her own chest and shook her head, "Look, Catherine, I'm physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and now I'm confused. I don't want to play any of your little games, so whatever you want to say, just go ahead and say it."

Little games? Little games!? Oh that's it! "Little games? Oh, that's it. You want it straight? Fine. Here it is. I get that these past few days have been devastating for you. I get that your life feels like it's coming down around you. And I get that you're in a position in your life that you never thought you'd be and that scares you. Okay? I've been there. I've had my best friend killed and not been able to say goodbye, I've lost my closest family to horrible accidents; I've watched my daughter suffer over the loss of her father." Sara's eyes widened at that last remark.

I was breathing heavy by now. "I want to be there for you, Sara. I lo- I care about you and I hate that you're hurting. But all night, and I mean this in the best possible way, you've been a total bitch. You've blown hot and cold since we left the hotel this morning, you've disrespected me in what I consider to be the worst possible way-"

She tried to interrupt me here but I pressed on. "No, Sara; The. Worst. Possible. Way. Do you think I care when I get offensive pick up lines? Do you think crude sexual harassment bothers me? Do you think that there is a single line, gesture, or greasy stare that I have not seen or heard before? And it doesn't bother me to get called mean or bitchy or hard ass- half of the time, those are things I strive to be."

I looked at her and tried to keep the hurt from my voice. She was looking regretful and I could tell I had put her in her place, succeeded in making her feel as small as I did. I just couldn't bring myself to care. It felt good to get this out.

"But my intelligence?" I shook my head. "Do you know, do you have any idea how long it took me to even realize that I might have a mind that was worth something? Twenty-eight years! Twenty-eight years, Sara. Until Gil came in with Jimmy Tadero that night after the show. He was the first person to tell me I was something more than a dumb pair of tits with a cute ass. And I didn't believe him, I thought he was just trying to get laid. He had to come back five times before I would try out his lab internship. He paid for my last two semesters at school when I had to quit stripping because I was pregnant. He was the only one. And now the only way I get any respect around the lab or anywhere else is to act like the ice queen."

I'm shouting at her now, "I worked so hard, Sara. I'm not like you, I can't just open my mouth and have an answer for everything. I've had to work so hard, and I still have to; every damn second of every damn day. Just so I can prove to myself- screw other people, just to myself, that I am worth somebody's time. So when you try to take that away from me, even offhand, even if it's just because you're hurting, too. When you call me stupid, especially when I'm not wrong- when I'm right and you're just lashing out. When you do that, all you're doing is proving to me what I knew all along; I'm not worth it. Gil was wrong, and somehow I just got to where I am on accident. I'm…I'm just not worth it."

I walked past her and stared out over the ocean, hugging myself and willing myself to stay angry at her and not, under any circumstances, let my tears spill over.

I heard Sara step up behind me and I shivered when her fingers ghosted over my hip bones. She was quiet for a long time before she spoke. When she did, her words were slow, deliberate, and put forth in a voice that seemed calm but in reality was charged with emotion; as if there was tension lurking just below the surface.

"Catherine, I am sorry, I truly am. I'm not good with words, and when I'm flustered I don't always say what I mean. It's not an excuse but it is a reason. I didn't mean to hurt you; I would never purposely hurt you in any way, and I hope you know that. But…" she took a breath here, "Catherine, I'm in way over my head here and you yelling at me is really not helping. I was trying not to tell you about Molly's proposition because I knew you'd react like this, and I needed some time to get my thoughts together before I came to you. Your honesty, your directness, are things I love about you, but they don't always help me. Sometimes, it's easier for me to just mull things over quietly. And you always seem to want to discuss things. I figured you'd want to the same thing with this."

I turned and stared at her, "Damn right, I do! You need to pull your head out of your ass! What the hell are you thinking?" I put my hands on my hips.

"Ah!" She grabbed her head in her hands, "Fuck! You are such a frustrating woman! Alright, fine. You want to know what I was thinking? I was thinking that Molly could provide a much better family for them than I could. She has a husband and two kids already. The girls get along really well with Dylan and Daisy, and Dan is a really nice guy. Molly is really good with kids and she seems to really want to take them. The girls would be better off."

I stared at her incredulously. "Better off than with their mother?" I asked.

She got upset at this, "Cath, I am not their mother! They don't have a mother. They had two fathers, and now they're dead! We share thirteen chromosomes, that's it. Genetics do not endow one with the unbreakable bond of parenthood."

I wasn't giving up. "No, but combined with the fact that their fathers trusted you with their lives, and you love them unconditionally, I'd say it does a pretty bang up job. If they went to Molly they'd become her children's orphaned cousins. It would mess them up for life. If you take them, they start over. They have the memory of their dads, but they also have a mother who loves them and who will treat them like normal children. Genetics don't always make a parent, but they sure as hell can't hurt. What really makes a parent is a willingness to love a child and put their needs above all else. And you have that, Sara."

Sara chuckled bitterly and took two steps back. "How the hell do you know that? I don't know that. I'd probably make a terrible mother. I don't know anything about making lunches and going to parent-teacher conferences. I can't bake cookies or pick out first day of school clothes. I can't even make my own nightmares go away."

I sighed, "Sara, mothers don't come with that information; we're not computer programmed. Everybody just makes it up as they go along, or in my case just takes everything your own mother ever did for you and do the complete opposite. You start with the basics and work your way up. And as for how I know you can do it, well, I've seen you with Linds. You're amazing with her. And I saw how you looked at those little girls tonight. Don't even try to tell me you don't love them like they're your own, don't even try. You've loved them that much since the day they were born. As much as you'd like to deny it, Sara Sidle, your maternal instincts are alive and well."

She looked at me doubtfully then shook her head, "I don't know, it's too much for me right now. I'm confused…you…you confuse me. I think maybe I'll go to bed and think about it in the morning."

I nodded, recognizing that she needed time to cool off and knowing I could use a break as well.

She surprised me by initiating physical contact and pulling me into a hug, "So, are we okay?" she mumbled into my shoulder. "Say we're okay."

After a second I relaxed into the embrace and brought my arms up around her waist, "We'll be fine. I know I overreacted. It just hurt, you know?"

She nodded, "I'm really sorry."

I brought my face to the crook of her neck and shut my eyes tight. She smelled faintly of cloves and something citrus-y, grapefruit perhaps. "Mhm." Wow. This felt so good. She was so soft and so very strong at the same time. Oh, I could have stayed there forever.

And I tried, but after a minute, she pulled away. "I'm going to head up, okay? Grab a quick shower and then get some rest? I have to make some phone calls in the morning. I'm helping Molly with the service, getting flowers and inviting people and all of that. But in the afternoon, I need to go into the city and see some people, so…you could come with me then? If you want? Or you could stay here." She looked uneasy. "Unless, you want to go home. I can book you a flight, I'm sure you'll want to-"

I put a hand on her arm, "No, Sara, I'd love to go with you tomorrow. And I don't want to go home." I smiled at her, "I'm here as long as you want me…if you want me, that is." Oh, God, did that come off sounding like a really bad pick up line? Was I hitting on a woman plagued by personal confliction and tragic loss? What the bloody HELL was wrong with me?

She looked at me curiously, "Yeah…okay, great. No, of course I want you here- you've been a lifesaver. Well, I'll just get to that shower, shall I?" She pointed towards the house and then followed her arm off the deck.

I whirled around and looked at the view, hitting myself on the forehead. Well, shit. Maybe it didn't sound as bad as I thought it did. Maybe I was overreacting. No, I shook my head at the horizon, who was I kidding? Did you see her face when she practically ran out of here? You totally freaked her out. Damn. Well, there was nothing to be done for it. I turned and went inside.

At least asleep, I couldn't possibly hit on her. Oh, no, wait. Yes, I could. I'd already done it! Christ. A day in my life. Saying my goodnights to Larry and Tim, I made my way to our room and got ready for bed. In the long t-shirt I usually wear to bed, I went out onto the balcony. I needed to think.

So. Apparently I liked Sara. As in, I was attracted to her. Sara. Sara Sidle. Well, that's just wonderful. That's not remotely inconvenient at all. I mean, sure, we're co-workers, but so what? Sure, she is experiencing untold levels of grief and despair and the promise of a relationship is the last thing she needs. And, sure, she's just suddenly and out of the blue become the mother of two and that will without a doubt completely disrupt her life.

But hey, what's a few obstacles when true love is on the line, right? Okay, we might be getting ahead of ourselves with the true love bit, but all in all this seems to be a extraordinarily bad idea. Ten million and one reasons why you will not even entertain the idea of the possibility that there is a chance (which there isn't) that this is in any way a good idea. So, all parts of my brain are in agreement with all other parts of my brain, yes? Bad idea, never going to happen, just get it out of your head!

That settled, I made a serious effort to enjoy the nightscape. I watched the glowing moon and the drifting purple clouds, I marveled at the intensity of the shining stars. I closed my eyes and listened to the crashing waves that signaled the changing of the tides. I inhaled the salty spray and experienced the tranquility that could be found here. How breathtaking.

"Hey, you'd better come in from there. It can get pretty chilly with the winds coming off the water at night."

I turned.

Oh. My. God.

Oh, my…God. Dark. Light. Man. Woman. The whole freaking garden of Eden and throw in some cute cuddly animals. And after all of that, God sat down and created Sara Sidle. In a tiny, blue towel. Her hair had kinked and curled up from the water, her cheeks and chest were pink from the too hot shower, and little rivulets of water were streaming down her neck and arms and legs. Not to mention the curves of her…Oh. My. God.

What was I saying? Scratch that. I…uh…what?

"What?" She looked down self-consciously.

"Hmm?" I started and forced my eyes up to her face. "What? No. Nothing. Nothing, you just surprised me. I was thinking."

She nodded. I'd actually spoken English, hooray for me! "Okay. You're coming in soon though, right? I don't want you to catch cold."

I felt dazed. "Yeah, uh-huh, sure. You go on in, I'll be right behind you."

She smiled and disappeared behind the blowing curtains.

I turned back to the gleaming moon and the gossamer clouds, the looming cliffs and the dazzling stars. Breathtaking. And then I thought about the very real possibility that that tiny blue towel was finding a new home on the Mexican tile of my bedroom, right now; at this very moment.

Awe-inspiring, infinite, and matchless beauty of the raw and commanding natural world.

Naked Sara.

Not exactly a contest.

I threw myself through the curtained doorway. The ocean would be there tomorrow. And besides, I had forgotten to brush my teeth.

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What do you think? Next part should come soon. I'm off work all week because of Thanksgiving (which is on Thursday for all non-Americans) Happy Turkey day en avance!