Chapter 9 -- I am Not Ann Landers

Morning came too early for Danny. Someone knocking on their door proved to be T'Keisha, keeping up with the fantasy of a comics convention. It took a while but soon everyone was up, dressed, occasionally showered first, and stumbling out the doors into glaring hot sun.

Jazz caught a training heading downtown while the others caught a cross-town line out to where Altheria lived. Danny wondered why Altheria hadn't offered to drive until he heard that her car was an old VW Beetle, one of the original models with half a floorboard and no back seat. Danny was astonished to learn that you could buy cars "as-in" for under a hundred dollars and somewhat horrified by her tales of her fenders flapping in the breeze. Come Christmas he vowed so send her a package of chewing gum, baling wire and duct tape. Lots of duct tape.

The comics shop, Galactic Central's Comic Emporium, was a mile beyond the train station. As they walked along the empty streets out to it Danny started lagging behind. Altheria had set a stiff pace the others were finding hard to keep up with. As he watched the others pull ahead he realized he was relieved by the solitude. It gave him more time to mope about T'Keisha knowing his secret.

Unexpectedly he saw Sid stop to look at something in a shop window. It was a re-sale shop and he wondered what Sid could have found interesting there. Until Sid abruptly turned and fell into step with him as Danny passed.

They walked in silence for a minute. "I've got this problem," Sid finally announced. "It's about Altheria."

Danny didn't know what to say about that. He'd been kind of avoiding her all morning. Because of what happened last night.

"I thought we were kind of tight, you know, but today, I don't know, she's been like kind of short with me."

"Have you asked her what the problem is?" Danny wondered, instantly regretting encouraging Sid.

"A Dude can't ask a Lady something like that."

"Altheria isn't exactly a lady," Danny reminded him.

"But still...."

"Think about it, Sid. Do you think there might be something you've done that might have upset her?"

"Well..."

Danny sighed. "Sid, you spent the whole day, yesterday with my sister. I think Altheria came in to town as much to see you as to help us."

"Oh."

"So, yeah, she might be a little miffed."

"What should I do, man?"

"I think you need to ask yourself who you'd rather be with -- Altheria or my sister."

"Altheria's cool, but your sister is so hawt!"

"Sid," Danny began, rather annoyed with the big fellow. "There are two words I never want to hear in the same sentence, ok? That's 'Jazz' and 'hawt.' She's not hot, she's my sister, OK? And the same goes for my mother."

"But she's hawt, too."

"Sid, you're not listening. Never use the phrase 'hot' about anyone in my family ever again."

"So you don't want me going out with your sister?"

"That's something for you and Jazz to work out. Just don't call her hot to my face, ok?"

"So you do want me to date your sister?"

"We're not talking about my sister! I thought you wanted to know why Altheria might be unhappy with you today?"

"Oh, yeah,"

"And I said she might be unhappy because you spent all of yesterday with my sister instead of her."

"Oh. So, like, what should I do?"

"That part I don't know."

"So, should I, like, talk to her?"

"It couldn't hurt."

Sid continued walking with Danny for another minute, apparently digesting what Danny had said. Then he lengthened his stride and caught up with the others.

Danny shook his head. What a day.

The light had turned red so the others had stopped at the corner. Short of pretending to tie his shoe Danny was unable to avoid catching up with them before the light turned green. He let the others go first then took a slow step. As he stepped off the curb he was surprised to find Altheria by his side.

Thinking about last night brought a blush to Danny's cheeks, which, fortuitously, the punk girl didn't notice. Of course she thought the Danny Phantom she's kissed the night before was someone else. That didn't make Danny feel any better about the position he found himself in.

He waited for Altheria to make the first move.

It didn't take long.

"So what did tall, thin dumb had to say?" she asked.

"Sid? He thought you were mad at him for some reason."

"He noticed?"

"Apparently."

"I thought he was going to follow your sister around all weekend with his tongue dragging on the ground."

"I think he found out that Jazz is" -- Danny thought for the right word. The words he usually thought about his sister -- stuck-up snotty, intrusive -- weren't really fair. And besides you never slag your family in front of strangers. It was just one of those rules Danny had always lived by. "Jazz is kind of 'high maintenance'." he suggested. "After all Sid did decide to come with us then go shopping with Jazz a second day."

"Humph!" Altheria snorted then thought for a bit.

"How long are you going to torture him?" Danny asked. "Sid's not such a bad guy."

"I don't know," Altheria smiled cruelly. "The masochistic school of dating suggests one should wait as long as possible before forgiving someone."

"Masochistic School of dating...."

"Playing hard to get. It's more fun then the oblivious school of dating you and Sam seem stuck in."

"We're not dating." Danny protested.

"Why not?"

Danny colored at the question but couldn't think of a good answer. "People dating always break up," he finally forced out. "I don't want to lose Sam as a friend."

"If she's a real friend you'll never lose her as a friend"

I don't want to find out if you're wrong, Danny thought. He didn't care to be grilled about him and Sam. He didn't want to be forced into anything. He didn't want to be forced into a relationship when he was still getting to know Sam as a friend.

"How would you know?" he snapped back at Altheria. "You were the one the other day saying all men were scum. Doesn't sound like you've found many good friends."

"Prick," she snarled and stalked off to catch up with the rest of the group.

As Altheria stormed past the others into the lead, Danny saw T'Keisha whisper something to Tucker, then stopped and waited for Danny to catch up.

"I'm really sorry about last night," she said in her soft voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut."

"It's all right, T'Keisha. Water over the bridge. Or is it under?"

"I think water goes under a bridge."

Danny noticed that she was avoiding looking at him and mentioned that to her.

She turned to him and smiled with a big, toothy grin. "I can look at you now. It's just -- I'm kind of shy around people I don't know very well. And I kinda got the impression you didn't like me."

"Oh, sorry," Danny said as he realized that what she said was probably somewhat true. "I think it's because most of the time I've seen you it's like 3 O'clock in the morning and I've just been pulled out of bed. I'm kind of cranky when that happens."

"I hope that we can be friends."

"I'm sure we will. When I said you were the best thing that's ever happen to Tucker, I meant it."

"But we live so far away..."

"What with the internet and all, I imagine it's a lot less worse than it was in our parent's day."

"You don't think he'll find someone else, someone close?"

"Someone better than you -- no."

She smiled at that.

"I haven't talked to Tucker yet about knowing your -- secret."

"Try to do it in person, OK? Nothing on the Internet or over the phone. You never know when either of those are being tapped."

"Why would --"

"The Guys in White are pretty paranoid about my Dad. Who knows how far they'd go to find out what Dad knows. Not that he knows anything special, but government agencies -- I always feel paranoid about them."

"What about Abigail?"

"Especially Abigail."

"Why did you invite her along, then?"

"I didn't. She invited herself to this party.

"Oh."

"Look, why don't you, Tucker and I go for a little walk tonight? We'll find a quiet spot and have a long talk."

"That would be good."

Tucker was waiting outside the comics shop when T'Keisha caught up. He whispered something to her kind of possessively but she just laughed, gave him a kiss and skipped into the store.

***

The shop was larger than any Danny had ever seen in Amity park. One long wall was lined with shelves full of the latest issues. On the other wall were glass topped counters for movie memorabilia, game cards, D&D figurines and, behind the counters, tall shelves filled with pricy collectable comics. In the back was a field of waist high tables where back issue common comics were open for people to paw through. A corner in the back had, of all things, a selection of model train parts and accessories. Danny's jaw dropped when he saw the price on an ordinary seeming model box car. The other back corner of the store was walled off for adult comics and material. Manga, graphic novels, some science fiction filled free standing shelves in the middle of the building along with wire racks of action figures of every size, shape and character. The irony was that not only were there more comics here then he could ever hope to read, he had to grab up a huge bundle to make it look like he had got them at a convention. Which meant paying cash, and not putting it on the company credit card.

Danny was slowly working down the shelf of recent issues, browsing each new issue before adding it to his stack when Sam came around and handed him a canvas bag with the store's logo on the side. "Now this will add verisimilitude to your story." she said.

"Add what?"

"Credibility." Sam had already filled her bag with a variety of action figures. Witchblade was conspicuously on top.

"Planning your Halloween costume?" he suggested, pointing to the box.

"You wish," Sam laughed. "I'm starting a collection of Gothic dolls and figurines. If you see a twelve inch Barbie dressed as Elvira call me."

Later, while Danny was still only half away along the long row of new comics he noticed Sid coming out of the adult comics section grinning like he had pulled off something. At the time Danny thought it was just for getting in and out without being caught but later, as they were walking back to the train station he saw Sid slip something out of his shirt and hand it to Altheria.

The kids finally gave up shopping a couple hours later. They had looked over all the new comics, flipped through the older issues (where Danny found the remaining eight issues of the "Space Conquerors"series he had started collecting when he was ten. Sam had filled her store bag and two paper bags with Goth themes action figures. She hadn't found an Elvira Barbie doll but she did pick up four Bratz dolls. Sam said they were "biker chic" but Danny thought of them as more S&M.

Sam had also made sure that Danny and Tucker were weighted down with flyers for upcoming local comics shows. She'd even found a program book from the real Comics-Con which, because it wasn't dated, added nicely to the pile ersatz convention loot.

They had barely started the long march back to the train station when Tucker sidled next to Danny.

"What's going on with T'Keisha?" he asked.

Danny shrugged.

"Come on, man, you must know something. She's been acting kind of strange all morning, looking at me then acting like she wasn't looking at me. Then she went off and talked to you. What was that all about?"

"She was just trying to get to know your friends better," A bit of a lie but Danny didn't want to make his friend any more worried than he was already.

"Then why did she wait to do until it was just you and her? You were talking about me behind my back, weren't you?"

"Tuck I didn't tell her anything that I wouldn't say to your face. I think what you've got is a great thing and won't do anything to screw it up."

"Then why is she acting so jumpy today?"

"Well, yesterday was pretty stressful for her. First the fight with Technus then getting hustled into the Ghost Zone and having her town all shot up. I imagine her nerves are pretty shot."

Danny looked to see if any of this was mollifying his friend.

"She said something about you and her going for a walk later tonight."

"No," Danny corrected, "the idea is for YOU, her and I going for a walk tonight."

"Why do you have to be along?"

"To keep you two from doing anything you shouldn't?" Danny teased.

"Be serous, man. This is driving me crazy.."

"It's driving me crazy, too, Tucker, but its not something we can talk about walking about on the street. Be patient. Tonight we'll talk this all out."

Tucker scowled unhappily, pulled off his red beret and wiped his face then pulled the beret back on with a sharp tug. "Tonight then, make it early." and he stomped off catching up with the others.

***

The smell of sweet perfume and skin lotion told him he wasn't along. Abigail slipped her arm through his but he quickly shook her loose. "Don't you like me anymore?" she purred.

"We're not playing that game, Abby-- "

"Abigail!" she corrected.

"So what great and terrible problem do you have that just has to be discussed with me when I, so obviously, have not felt like talking to anyone today?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just messing with Goth Girl."

"And every time you do that, Abby -- "

"Abigail!"

"Abby, you just piss me off that much more."

"Oh come on, you like it! Every time I get Little Miss "I'm so Emo" in a snit she gets closer to you. You like that don't you?"

"I don't like people who manipulate people that way."

"Like they way you dangled this ghost project in front of me just to get me to crack my old man's computer again? That's not manipulating?"

"No, that was --" Danny paused to think of how it was not like manipulating since Abigail was infuriating right about it. "It's more like bribery," he concluded, scowling at the lameness of that."

"Oh, Danny what is it with you?" she asked, grabbing hold of his arm again. "We had such a good time in DC. I could tell you liked me. Why are you being so difficult now?"

Abigail was wearing a wide brimmed straw hat which made it hard for Danny to look her in the eyes. She had pretty eyes, almost as pretty as Paulina's, the heart-throb for half the male students of Casper High, a perky up-tilted nose and a strong chin. Who could not fall for a face like that. But like Valerie Grey, another classmate from Casper High Danny had dated, Abigail was a ghost hunter. She would happily and enthusiastically hunt down and destroy Danny Phantom. Danny Fenton couldn't let that happen.

Besides, Sam Manson had her own dark attractions, had always been there for Danny and wasn't as demanding as, truth be told, Abigail was.

"I'm not being difficult," Danny denied. "I've just got a lot on my mind. I mean, we've put down this loose ghost but we still haven't stopped who ever created ghost computer viruses."

"And has nothing to do with how short a leash Goth Girl has you on."

"Sam doesn't have me on a leash."

So some reason Abigail found that funny and laughing, rejoined the others walking a block ahead of him.

They stopped for a red light and when it changed Danny found himself not alone, again.

"She's just messing with your mind," he said.

"I know," Sam replied.

"So is this some intricate counter-ploy to make her think she's got you running while you're plotting some scheme of your own?"

"What?" Sam asked, confused. "No I wanted to find out what's got you all so gloomy today. But every time I've tried to drop back and talk with you someone else had beaten me to it."

"I feel like Ann Landers! Everybody got a problem and I'm supposed to fix it. Altheria's mad at Sid but Sid doesn't understand why. Abigail doesn't understand why people don't like her. Tucker thinks T'Keisha is keeping a secret from him. And -- It's just too much. I couldn't sleep last night, that's why I'm down in the dumps."

"Because Altheria kissed you?"

"Did she tell?"

"How could she not. God, I wish I'd been there to see it. You falling off a wall to avoid getting kissed! I was in hysterics thinking about it."

"She had her mouth open. What's up with that?"

Sam stopped flat footed and stared at Danny for a moment before breaking out in laughter.

"What's so funny?" Danny demanded angrily.

"I have got to write that down and put it in with your baby pictures as the two most embarrassing moments in your life."

"It's not funny!"

Sam stopped laughing, cleared her throat and agreed. "It'll never be funny -- to you!" And started laughing again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sam finally apologized. "But after listening to you pine over Paulina all those times, hearing that you tried to avoid a hot kiss...What did you think you were going to do with her if Paulina ever had agreed to go out on a date with you?"

"I wasn't ready. She surprised me."

They walked in silence for a minute. From time to time Sam would switch bags from right hand to left as their weight pulled on her shoulders. Danny finally took one of the bags from her.

"So if it wasn't Altheria trying to plant a wet one on you," Sam said thoughtfully, "it must be some kind of secret that T'Keisha's keeping from Tucker?"

"There's no secret -- " Danny started to protest but let it fizzle out. Sam had figured it out. He hadn't mentioned why T'Keisha had wanted to talk to him, which meant that it had to be a secret.

"She knows," he said.

"Knows what?" Sam responded without thinking. "About you?" she added when what he's said sank in.

"Yeah." Danny whispered

"How? What gave you away?"

"Apparently the way I talk."

"You don't sound anything like yourself when you're Danny Phantom."

"I know. She said as much, but it's the words I use, the phrases. She -- You know she can't look at me when I'm a ghost -- so she was just listening to everything I said yesterday, when I took her into the Ghost Zone."

"And she figured it out from that?"

"I guess."

"She's smart. I knew there was a reason I liked her." After a moment. "Has she told Tucker -- no, of course not, that's why she looks like she's got a secret. But she told you?"

"Last night when I was flying her back to her house."

"What are you going to do?"

"Trust her, I guess. What else can I do?" Danny looked, hoping to see if Sam did have an idea. "Tucker, her and I are going for a walk tonight so we can talk about this. Do you want to come along?"

"Yes, but maybe I shouldn't. T'Keisha needs to talk to Tucker and Tucker needs to talk to you. I would kind of make this a crowd."

"You know, at one point I thought the idea of a parent-free weekend in Chicago hunting ghosts and messing about would be a barrel of fun," Danny said. "Right now I can't wait for this thing to be over."

"We still got to tomorrow before going back home on Sunday." Sam reminded him.

"Yeah, I keep wondering what else can go wrong."

***

The hardest part about the talk between Tucker, T'Keisha and Danny was getting out of the room without the rest of the gang following them. Down on the street they had trouble finding some place to walk to. The hotel and convention center was located in a largely industrial region. So they reversed course and found a quiet corner in the lounge. Once settled with chairs pulled close today Danny was at a lose what to say. He had practice this several times but when then moment actually came he just didn't know how to start.

T'Keisha finally broke the ice by telling Tucker "I know that Danny's a ghost."

"Half ghost," Danny corrected.

"You told her?" Tucker accused. "You never told anyone before!"

"I didn't, she figured it out."

Tucker turned to T'Keisha and asked, "How?" since to him Danny Phantom was so unlike Danny Fenton that he assumed no one would ever make the connection. So she explained. And that lead to further questions. Occasionally T'Keisha would ask the questions and Tucker or Danny would answer.

In time the conversation turned to other things, Danny's peculiar situation quickly forgotten. Suddenly it was 8 PM and time to T'Keisha to catch the train back home. Danny offered to fly her but she demurred. So they walked her to the station, and Tucker was already to accompany her on the train. She kissed instead and promised to see him in the morning. Walking back to the hotel all Tucker could talk about was how wonderful T'Keisha was.

Sam was waiting for them when they got back. All Danny could do was whisper that everything had gone well. The others were watching a monster marathon on TV. Danny surprised himself by not joining them. Bed and a long night's sleep sounded pretty good to him just then.