A/N: Hey, I am so sorry that I haven't updated this. I'm just trying to make chapters as long as possible, but its still not getting to all the drama yet. This is basically a filler chapter, with lots of I love you's and a little bit of drama. The drama will be here soon I promise. Trust me this story gets very dramtic and maybe a little violent but I'll warn you when that comes up.
Please Review! Thanks!
"That's not what I want; I just hate what I did to you...Do you...want some time apart?"
"I hate what you did to me too; it makes me feel like I was just someone you had to sleep with until your 15 years was up. That's how I felt after you explain things to me last night. I'm not sure what I want right now but I do know that I don't want to lose you."
"Lorelai, it's not like that, I slept with you because I love you, not because I was waiting for my 15 years to be up. I've never felt this way with anyone else, only with you. I don't want to loose you either... But I do understand you needing time to be alone and to think." He starts to get up and put his clothes on.
"You're sure your not mad Luke? I don't even know what I'm saying anymore and stuff just comes out or I don't know how to say things. I do think I just need some time, I think it will do us both some good. Maybe call Anna and see about meeting up with April, I'll meet you guys somewhere this week if you want."
She walks over to him as he gets dressed. "I do love you Luke." She kisses him.
Luke pulls away. "I'm not mad I just...I don't know. I have to go." He heads for the door.
"Oh...well okay." She says as he walks out of the door. She doesn't understand why he at least didn't say I love you back. She lies down on the couch and thinks.
Luke heads back to the diner, and tells Caesar that he isn't going to work today and to fill in for him. Then he goes upstairs and lies on the bed and stares at the ceiling thinking.
A few minutes later Lorelai hears the doorbell ring, she opens the door and Julia is standing on the other side.
"Hi...are you Lorelai?" Julia asks.
"Yes, are you Julia?" She nods and Lorelai invites her in.
Julia walks in and sits on the couch. "I need to talk to you."
"Sure." They sit down.
"I don't think that Luke loves you."
"What? Why don't you think he loves me?" She says shocked.
"Because we went out to dinner and he told me that his old feeling were coming back for me. Then he asked me to go to his diner and he kissed me, and then asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I said sure and then we slept together."
"Yes I know he did all that, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me. He told me that he just wanted to see if he still had feelings for you; the one thing he didn't tell me was that his old feelings came back. I can't believe he didn't tell me that."
"And we have plans to meet up again in 7 years, but I don't think I can wait that long. I love him."
"No, you can't just take him away from me; he won't go back to you!"
"I love him and he loves me back so if he wants to be with me you can force him away!"
"No! I won't force him away I love him, I want to be with him and he wants to be with me, not you!"
"Then why did he sleep with me and tell me that he loved me?"
"Wait, he told you he loved you?" Lorelai said and held back her tears.
"Yes! He told me that he loved me and that his old feelings for me were coming back again! He wants to be with me not you!"
"Well his feelings have changed because he told me he still loves me and he doesn't love you anymore! There is no way he will take you back!"
"Well, even if he doesn't take me back it still doesn't change the fact that he cheated on you! And I think that he loves me more anyway, because he's known me longer and he told me that he loved me just the other night when he slept with me!"
"I know he cheated on me! You don't have to keep saying it! You know what, why don't we call him up right now and ask him to come over, let him decide. I bet you he will pick me!"
Julia walks over closer to Lorelai. "Even if he does take me back it still doesn't change, he will just cheat on you again." Julia takes out her cell phone and puts it on speaker and dials Luke's number.
"No he won't stop saying that!"
When Luke picks up the phone Julia doesn't tell him he is on speaker phone and also doesn't tell him where she is, she tells Lorelai not to say a word and she doesn't because she wants to her what he says.
"Hello? Who is this?...Julia?"
"Yeah Luke it's me, I'm out right now I'm calling from my cell. How are you?"
"Um, I'm fine...why are you calling me?"
"Well I wanted to tell you the after last night, I think I want to be more than just friends with you."
"Julia, I'm sorry but I'm in love with Lorelai. I may still have some feelings for you but that's just because you were my first love, and I still love you, but not the way I love Lorelai, I'm sorry."
"Didn't you have a great time last night?"
"Yes, because I was with Lorelai all last night."
"Luke just be honest about what you felt last night when we slept together, there's no one here but me." She shoots Lorelai a nasty look.
"I...I was happy at the beginning because I realized that I still had feelings for you and that I still loved you and I was happy that we had finally got our second chance. But it also made me realize that I love Lorelai."
"I was really hoping that we could have another chance Luke."
"I'm sorry. I love Lorelai, though I don't know why. I will always love you, Julia, but in a first love kind of way and I will always have feelings for you, but in a first love kind of way."
"Fine! You know what just talk to her yourself!" She throws Lorelai the phone.
"Luke."
"Lorelai? Wait, why are you with Julia?"
"She came over to the house." She says rather coldly.
"Why did she come over there?"
"She wanted me to force you away so that she could have you and she told me that you loved her, you told her you loved her last night, how could you do that to me! She also told me you are just going to cheat on me again anyway."
"I'm not going to lie to you, I do still love her, but in a first love kind of way, like I'm sure you love Chris in a first love kind of way, don't you? And I swear, Lorelai that I will never ever cheat on you again! I love you so much! I would never do anything else to hurt you or Rory; I love you guys, so, so much. Please believe me, Lorelai, I'm never going to do this to you again, I love you way to much to put you through it...I'm Sorry, Lorelai."
"But Luke you don't understand. My connection to Chris is Rory, I love that he gave me her. If I never had her, I would have broken up with him anyway; he cheated on me in high school. I thought I loved him but I know I don't. Are pasts and histories are different Luke, you really can't compare them and if your telling me you still love Julia, even if its just in a first love kind of way, I don't think...I..Well..I just think you two should talk some more, then you and I can talk. You have never once said you don't love her, you always keep saying you love her as your first love, well Luke love is love, I loved Chris for about a day, until I found him cheating on me. Now I'm not saying I don't love you anymore more because of how much you hurt me, but you hurt me so much Luke. I just don't know if I can take it anymore. So please tell your ex to leave my house so I can have my day alone to think." She doesn't yell at all, she spoke very calmly.
"Lorelai, please, you know how much I love you! You no it! I'm not in love with Julia like I am with you! I love Julia like kid love! I'm in love with you, forever! I just wish you could believe that! I don't know why you don't. I mean I kept the horoscope for eight years, and I still have it in my wallet to this very day. I've love you since the first time I saw you nine years three month and twenty-six days ago! I've practically raised Rory with you. I love Rory so much! She is like my own child! I would do anything for her and you no it! I've watched you go from relationship to relationship, praying that someday I would get my chance to be with you! And I did get it and now I'm loosing it! I've done everything I could possibly do to make this better, I don't no what to do anymore. I do love you, Lorelai, I don't no why you don't believe that, but it's really true."
"I know you love me Luke, you know, I think I am just overreacting your right I'm sorry." She says pretending to be sorry.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, and besides, I no you don't forgive me for what I did, I've tried everything, so now I'm just going to go."
"Wait Luke, are you breaking up with me?" Lorelai asks him.
"I don't want to, but I don't have a choice."
"Luke please don't do this, please I do want to be with you. I promise I will forgive you, I know you love me and I love you too. Please...don't..don't leave me Luke." She cries into the phone and Julia stares at her.
"I don't know what else to do, and no matter how bad a feel and no matter how sorry I am you are never going to forgive me." Luke hangs up.
Lorelai looks at Julia with tears in her eyes. "Well I hope your happy now; I just got dumped by the only man I have ever loved!"
"I'm really sorry, I no how much you loved him. I'm...I'm sorry for trying to screw it up." She takes her cell phone and heads toward the door.
"You're really sorry?" Lorelai says as she tries to stop from crying.
Julia turns around and faces Lorelai. "I'm truly sorry for everything, and I promise I will stay away from you and from Luke." She smiles a little and leaves the house.
Once Lorelai hears the door shut she picks up the phone and dials Luke's number. Luke doesn't answer because he isn't at home. 10 minutes later Luke is knocking on Lorelais door to her house.
Lorelai gets up and answers the door with tears running down her face.
"Luke?"
"I'm sorry I just hung up like that, and I'm sorry for just saying that we were breaking up, I don't want to break up, but you have to understand...I..I do still love Julia but not anywhere close to the way I love you. I love Julia like family. I always will I can't change that, I wish I could, but I can't. And...I...I don't no why you don't believe that I don't love you( Luke looks like he might cry). I love you more than anything, Lorelai...you and Rory both. I want to have children with you; I want to be there for you until we die. I still have the horoscope. You want to see it? (He pulls out his wallet and takes it our and hands it to her). I'm sorry that I have a kid, but I can't change what happened that long ago. I love April, but that doesn't mean I don't want to have children with you. I want to, I really do. I want us to be together, but I don't think that it's what you want. I see that you're crying, and I'm so sorry for hurting you, but I just don't understand, why you don't want to be with me, or why you don't think I love you. I love you, Lorelai, I've always had, and I'm not going to stop! Ok, well I think I said everything I needed to say. I'll let you be alone for a while."
He turns to walk away.
"Luke wait!" She says to him. "I never once thought you didn't love me, and I do want to have children with you. I want to get to know your daughter. I forgive you; I really do forgive you Luke. I'm sorry that I'm standing here crying, and it may look like I don't forgive you but I do and after talking to Julia today she seems like such a nice person, well towards the end anyway, when she first showed up she was mean but then she apologized. I don't want to break up with you Luke, but if you really think all those things of me then what are we supposed to do now?"
"Lorelai, it doesn't seem like you forgive me...I really, really want you to, but you just don't seem like you believe me. I love you more than anything, and I thought that you knew that. Maybe you do, but to me it just doesn't seem like it. I want us to move forward and to start out lives together, but I need to no that you forgive me, for real, and that you no that I love you and that I'm not going to screw things up again."
"Luke, I know that you are never going to hurt me again and I love you so much Luke and I know how much you love me. I do forgive you Luke, I don't know why you think I don't but I do, Really I swear I forgive you. I think the person you think hasn't forgiven you, is yourself." Luke thinks about it for a minute then pulls Lorelai closer and kisses her with all the passion that he has. Lorelai smiles through the kiss and wraps her arms around him, giving more into the kiss.
Luke pulls away. "I never doubted that you didn't love me. I just didn't think that you believed that I love you. And I'm sorry for hurting you."
"It's okay Luke I forgive you. I love you."
"I really truly am..." Lorelai kisses him to shut him up.
"Yeah..If you want to." He kisses her again
"I really do." They kiss all the way upstairs to continue what they had started.
They are laying in bed an hour later with the sheets over them. Lorelai is lying on Luke's chest. And Luke has his arm around her. "Are you happy?"
"I'm very happy. Are you happy?"
"I couldn't be happier that I am right now." He leans down to kiss Lorelai.
"I love you." She tells him and kisses him again. "SO I was thinking maybe we could try and meet April today, is that okay with you?"
"We can't today; Anna took the day off to spend the day with April. They went shopping or something. Maybe tomorrow, sorry."
"Oh well that's okay, maybe we can get together with her tomorrow. What do you want to do today?"
"Anything with you." He kisses her fore head.
"Could we...hmm..I know we could stay home together all day and continue wedding plans." She lets that slip; he doesn't know she still wants to get married.
"We could, but I thought you didn't want to get married anymore." He says trying to hide how sad he is about it.
"Luke, do you remember 2 days ago when I got my perfect dress and I came into the diner and told you that all the plans were done and our wedding was on June third?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"Well as we were laying here I was thinking about everything that has happened since then and I realized that it would be stupid to just go back to dating because I really want to marry you." She says with a shy smile.
"Really?" Luke kisses her for a long time then pulls away to breath, then kisses her again.
"Yup I want to get married. Now all I have to do is find a man who wants to marry me and have kids with me on June third." She jokes with him and tries to be serious.
"Well, then you better get looking, June third is just around the corner." Luke jokes back.
"Well where ever will I find one?" She tries her best southern accent.
"Right here." He kisses her.
"Mhhmmm sounds good to me!" She kisses him back.
"So, you really want to get married again?"
"Yes, I really want to be engaged to you and get married to you and have kids with you and grow old with you."
"Ah, that's good." He kisses her again.
"Yeah it is good." She looks down at her ring less finger and remembers when she threw it at him and told him to go to hell
"Hang on." Luke get out of bed with the sheet wrapped around him and looks for his jeans. When he finds them he takes out Lorelai's engagement ring. He lays back in bed and takes her had and puts in on her finger.
She smiles and starts tearing up a little. "It's just as beautiful as it was before." She looks at him and smiles.
"Well you put the ring on my finger, now aren't you going to ask me a certain important question?"
Luke rolls his eyes. Then sits up and pulls lorelai to the edge of the bed. He kneels down, and takes her hand. "Lorelai, I love you so much, Will you marry me?"
"Oh what the hell, I have nothing better to do." She says and laughs but she can tell he is annoyed at her.
"Yes." She states simply and kisses him.
Luke kisses her back then lay back in bed with her. "I thought you and Sookie had already finished all of the wedding plans."
"I know, but I realized I never checked with you or included you in any of the planning and that was wrong. I shouldn't have done all of it without you. I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry, I'm not much of a wedding kind of guy anyway, so its fine that you and Sookie already did it all, it doesn't really matter to me how the wedding is."
"You're sure about this? Because if you want to get married somewhere else or on a different date, I can try and move things around. You know I would do that just for you." She smiles lovingly at him.
"Well, I'm glad that you would do that for me, but it's not necessary, I'm happy just the way things are...Um, I was wondering, do you have a song picked out for us to dance our first dance at the wedding?"
"Okay thanks. um..Nope that's the one thing I thought maybe you wanted to do or maybe we could do it together?"
"I was hoping that I could do that one."
"Yeah of course you can."
"Thanks...so you want to go out to dinner tonight?"
"Ohh yeah like a back together celebration type date?" She says very excited.
"Yeah, if that's what you want it to be."
"Well what did you want it to be?" She asks curiously.
"I just wanted us to go out to dinner at Sniffey's."
"That sounds great! I can't wait to see buddy and Maisy again."
"Ok... So, what do you want to do now? Its only 12 pm."
"I have a few ideas." She grins seductively and rolls on top of him.
Luke kisses her then pulls away.
"I love you..."
"I love you too baby." She whispers and kisses him again.