A/N: Hello, my lovelies. Aren't you guys so cute? It's a totally empty threat to withhold chapters, you know. I live off reviews. Okay, so in the news; I got my tattoo last week and it's amazing. I would hit on my shoulder if that weren't a really weird thing to do. And I've gone blonde. Of course none of you knew that I was red before, but after about five years of that I've returned to my natural color (for a while) Nothing else to say, that's it.

Oh yeah, and the quote is from Burden of Proof. The episode where Gil buys Sara a plant because Cath is all like 'get your head out your ass, Griss, and woo the damn girl before somebody comes along with a better deal' (And someone did because it's Cath and the world is a happy place!)

Read on!

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOI

Most of the next two weeks went by in a blur. Knowing that I was going to be seeing Sara at the end of them lightened my heart and made everything go much faster. I worked hard to wrap all of my cases so I could leave. I hung out with Lindsey as much as possible as her last days of school drew nearer and nearer.

I couldn't believe that my baby was going to be in fifth grade in the fall. She was moving up to the secondary school, which meant a bigger building and a longer bus ride by herself. I had my first real kiss in fifth grade. Max Carlyss, seventh grader. But I had developed a lot earlier than Lindsey seemed to be, thank God. Hopefully that'd had something to do with it. Maybe I could convince her that kissing gives you an STD or something…

A few days before I was due to leave, I finally got around to asking Gil permission. To tell the truth, I had been putting it off. Things had been tense between us since my return and I wasn't really sure why. At first I'd thought it was because of my…abrupt behavior, the night I left, but when I approached him to apologize about it, he brushed me off. He told me that it was his fault, that he had been overly insensitive, and then he continued to put distance between us. He wasn't avoiding me exactly, but he wasn't coming to me the way her used to, either. We were communicating like co-workers and not like old friends. It was something I was not used to, and something that bothered me.

"So, what do ya say, Gil?" I cocked my head to one side. "Can you swing it?"

"To tell you the truth, Catherine," Gil looked up from cleaning his glasses. It was the first time he had looked me in the eye for the last ten minutes, "I'm a bit surprised."

"Lindsey hasn't had a vacation with her mother since Christmas of '99, why should me wanting ten days off to spend with my daughter come as a surprise?"

"But you're going to be staying with Sara in San Francisco. That's why you're going correct?"

I nodded and dropped my fists from their position on my hips, tapping my foot nervously and hoping I just seemed impatient.

"What I mean is," he waved a file at me, "why do you feel like you need to go spend another week with her? I can understand why someone would need emotional support initially in this situation, but I spoke to her yesterday; she sounds fine- better than usual, even. Why don't you take Lindsey to Disneyland or someplace she'd enjoy more?"

I sighed in exasperation. "Because she wants to see Sara. Sara has been as good as a second parent to her since Eddie died, and this month without her has been as hard on Lindsey as it's been on m- the lab." Quick save!

It was Gil's turn to sigh, "Well, legally, I can't stop you. Though I wish you would consider the lab's reputation. With two of our top investigators being gone so much and having rookies as temps, our stats are taking a major beating."

"Since when do you care?"

"I don't care, but other people- more important people, do. I'm just passing on what I've been getting from upstairs. But there's no chance of you changing your mind is there?"

"Nope. I hate leaving the lab short handed, but I need to go."

He nodded. "I'll draw up the paperwork. Tell me something," he looked at me pensively, "what was it that changed your opinion of Sara enough to reach out to her the way you're doing now? A year ago, you wouldn't have blinked twice."

I shrugged, treading carefully. "Lindsey at first. It's hard to dislike anyone who loves her the way Sara does. And then I got to know her better, here and in San Francisco. She's a good person. She's generous and sweet, and funny when she wants to be." I shrugged again, "And now we've gotten really close. So…I have to go. She needs me. Lindsey misses her. I miss her."

"We all miss her, Catherine." He looked suddenly weary. "But I am glad that you've become her confidant- even if it takes you both away from CSI. I don't think she has too many friends in Vegas. At least, that's not the impression I've ever gotten."

I just smiled tightlipped. How was I meant to answer that without revealing something that Sara had never seen fit to reveal to him in the first place?

A minute later, walking down the hall, I thought back over Gil's last words. 'We all miss her.' Not the way I miss her, you- And then it hit me so fast, I stopped dead in my tracks; maybe it was exactly the way I missed her. 'You have to deal with it before it just…goes away.' Oh, fuck no. I flew into my office, slammed the door behind me, and sank to the floor. I cradled my head in my hands and held my breath. Shit. Not good, soo very not good. Gil still had feelings for Sara? Still? How was that possible? Our conversation- my order to him to do something about it, had been well over a year ago. Oh, this was so not fair.

Not that I seriously doubted Sara's feelings for me. She couldn't, wouldn't, fake those kinds of emotions. Nor did I think she still had any feelings for our boss; I would be able to tell if she did. I had figured months ago that any possibility of their romance was over because a couple of snide remarks on her part. No, I trusted Sara completely. But that didn't mean I wasn't worried. This could get really messy if our supervisor's feelings were wrapped up in our life together. More than that, Gil was my friend; I didn't want to hurt him. And therein lay the problem.

I stood and straightened my shoulders. It was true; I didn't want to hurt him. But I was not about to surrender Sara just for the sake of Gil's sanity. We'd just have to be careful, that's all. And when we were ready to tell everyone, we would break it as gently as we could. Whatever happened from there would be Gil's decision. I loved him, he was a dear friend, and I wanted him in my life; but not at the expense of my love for Sara. No. In my mind, it was no contest. Sara would win every time.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOI

Just as we had decided to wait to tell the boys at work and family, Sara and I had also decided to wait to tell Lindsey about us until we were in San Francisco. That way, we could tell all of the girls together. On the plane to California, Lindsey was over-the-moon excited; she wouldn't stop talking about Sara and how fun it would be to meet Sara's new family. I had explained about their fathers' deaths and Lindsey didn't seem perturbed at all.

"Just like me," was all she said. "Besides, they're like the luckiest kids ever."

"Why's that?"

"Well, I know it's sad that their Dads died, and they're going to be sad for a while. But now they get to play with Sara everyday. And Sara made me not so sad when Daddy died, so they're lucky."

"Aha." I couldn't deny such simple logic or help being proud of my daughter and how smart she was.

Later in the flight, something occurred to me, "Linds, do you understand what it means that Ayla and Maggie had two Dads?"

She looked up from her sketchpad and shrugged, "I just figured it meant their parents were gay." She went back to drawing.

I blinked. "Yeah…" I tried to formulate a response to that, "Linds, do you know what being 'gay' means?"

She just looked at me and rolled her eyes, "Mom…"

"What?" This seemed like a totally logical thing to ask a ten year-old, but apparently I am so way behind in the times.

"Of course I know what gay means…"

"Okay, what's it mean? And why of course?"

"If you're gay, it means you fall in love with girls if you're a girl and boys if you're a boy." Lindsey said, as if explaining it to someone who wasn't very bright. "And of course because I've known that since forever."

"How?"

Lindsey sighed, "Okay, so, in second grade, Tony Margolis called Olivia Torres the f-a-g word because she has two moms. Well, this fourth grader, Mike something, heard him and got mad because he has two moms too. So, then Olivia started crying- she's still a total cry baby, you know. She cried when Kelsey pushed her in the mud under the swing set. I was like 'Just stand up and change your clothes', but anyway, Michael got really mad and punched Tony, and Tony got a bloody nose. After that, Olivia's moms, Sidney and Mercedes, came into class and explained all about lesbians and everything. It was cool; we got cupcakes. Then, this year, Olivia did her current events project on gay marriage and she explained how the government doesn't want lesbians to get married because of the bible."

I just sat there, floored. How could I not have known about this? "Wait, Mercedes Torres? The school nurse?" She was this gorgeous Latina woman who I would have asked out in a heartbeat in the past, but she wore a wedding ring.

"Uh-huh."

"Is gay?"

"Yeah, Mom. Weren't you listening?"

"Yes, sorry. Well, uh…do you have any questions about all of that?"

This was strange. I had known that I would have to have several of 'these types' of conversations with my daughter. And I'd known that they would probably begin around now- the pre-teen age. But now that the first one was upon me, my daughter seemed to be more prepared than I was. It was a little unnerving to have my ten year-old explaining lesbianism to me. She was just shrugging and shaking her head.

"Not really. Except…how do you become gay?" She scrunched her nose.

I smiled. Good question. "Well, you can't really become gay, you're pretty much born that way. It's like being a really good singer or basketball player; you're born with it and then the stuff that happens to you in life changes it."

"Oh." Lindsey looked a little disappointed. She went back to her coloring.

"Why?" I asked, curious as to what had inspired the question.

She looked back up at me and pursed her lips. "I was just thinking that maybe people could like, I don't know, read a book or have lessons or something."

I stifled a laugh, "No, that's not really how it works, sweetie."

"Oh." She looked put out again. "Okay."

"Why?" Now she had me really curious.

"It's nothing."

"No, what is it? You can tell me, sweetie." Was she having, you know…thoughts? At ten? A bit early, right? Maybe not.

"Well," she carefully packed away her pens and pencils as if this was going to be a very important discussion, and maybe it was better not to be distracted. "Sidney isn't Olivia's real mom, you know?"

"No…"

"Well Olivia's other mom, Mercedes, had Olivia live in her stomach like I lived yours." She wrinkled her nose like this was something she couldn't believe she had let herself do. "And then when Olivia was a baby, her parents got divorced and a little while later, Sidney became her mommy too."

"Okay…"

"So, we had to do this thing in our journals at school, it was a long time ago, like two months or something. Anyways, we had to write for twenty minutes about our family and then what we would change about our family. Then we had to read them out loud in front of the class. Some people wanted their parents to get remarried. A lot of people wanted to get rid of their brothers or sisters. But I wished for the opposite, cause I want like ten brothers or sisters to play with. Bonnie Bowers has four brothers and two sisters and she wanted to get rid of all of them and be the only one. But being the only one isn't always so fun, which is what I told her."

My heart clenched. She wasn't saying it, but there is really only person to blame when it comes to the number of siblings you have. I hoped she didn't think I never wanted her to have any brothers or sisters. I did. Growing up, I always dreamed about having twenty kids in a big sprawling house with stained glass windows and a big shaggy dog on a big front porch. But that's just not the way the cards fell. And thinking about it now, I really don't think I could raise twenty kids. One provided me with all the challenges I could ever need.

"What else did you wish for?" I prompted.

"Hang on a sec, will ya? I'm getting there," she rolled her eyes at me and patted my arm like I was the impatient small child. "Okay, so the rest of what I wished for was that I could have a dog and a cat and a ferret and a turtle and some fishes. And then I said that I wanted it so that Sara could be in my family for real. And then she could live with us and we could hang out like, all the time."

I was stunned, "You didn't ask for Daddy to come back?" It was the first thing past my lips.

She cocked her head to one side and crinkled her eyes at me, "That's what Mrs. Greene asked me after class."

"And?"

"And I said that I just didn't think of it when we were writing stuff down."

"Would you change it now that you've thought of it?"

She shrugged. "I guess. But what's the point of wishing for something that can't come true? I mean, Daddy can't come back can he? I already asked for him to come back a whole lot and it didn't work, so I don't think it's going to suddenly work now."

I nodded dumbly. It was sound logic.

She turned in her seat. "But about Sara; I thought, maybe, it would be cool if you could learn how to be a lesbian, like Olivia's moms, then we could move to California and you could marry Sara. And then she could be my mommy too…" She got this guilty expression, "I, uh…kind of already told people at school she was your girlfriend."

My mind was reeling at all of the information I just been given. My daughter thought to include Sara into our family before she thought about her own father? And she wanted me take lessons on how to become a lesbian so that I could marry Sara. It was a lot to take in. And on top of all of that, people at school…wait, huh?

Everything on my tray table went flying. "I- wait, you what?!"

She looked a bit panicked at my reaction as she helped pick up ice off the seats. "Don't get mad, Mommy! It's just that the first time Sara picked me up from basketball, Coach didn't want me to get in the car with her because he didn't recognize her. I just figured he would let me go if he thought Sara was your girlfriend, and he did. But then a bunch of girls on the team heard, so I had to keep pretending."

"What did they say?" I worried about my little girl getting teased.

Lindsey shrugged, "After I told them all the cool things Sara and I did, they were really jealous. They already think you're the coolest Mom because you're the prettiest and you let me bring fruit roll-ups for break time. And Sara's pretty too and she takes me for ice cream, so everybody wishes you guys were their moms instead of mine."

"Huh." I had a feeling that we were feeding Lindsey too much sugar.

She ducked her head warily. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad, sweetie. Except that you know it's wrong to lie. Linds," I hesitated, "uhh…would you really be okay if, umm, if Sara and I were dating? If Sara was my girlfriend?"

The captain announced our decent.

"Mom," she rolled her eyes, "think about it; it would be totally awesome! We could do cool stuff all the time, and we could move to California. It would be the coolest thing ever! Plus I would get two sisters. And it's not that weird to have two moms anymore, only stupid people think it's weird. Did you know that Olivia has a new baby brother? He was just born. Her mom, Sidney just had him. She brought in pictures for show and tell. He's kind of squishy looking."

"Wait, why are we moving to California?" I was lost.

"Because then you and Sara could get married. And Sara could adopt me. It would be so cool. I would have the coolest mom ever and I would live at the beach. How cool would that be?"

I couldn't help but smile at the scene. Sara, in a sexy swimsuit, building sand castles with the girls, tanning, reading a book, wiping popsicle off Maggie's chin…I smiled, "Yeah, that would be pretty cool."

Lindsey sighed, "Yeah I know, but if you're not gay…" She threw up her arms, "I guess it doesn't matter."

"Actually, Linds…" What did I intend to say to that? I was about to tell her about me and Sara. But we had said we wouldn't. Also, Sara and I had only been together for a month, three weeks of which we hadn't even seen each other, and the other week had been so full of stress, there was no telling how we really felt. "Actually, Linds," I settled for a half truth, "Some people like both men and women. They can fall in love with one just as easily as the other. Like me. So I loved your Dad and I have dated only men since the divorce, but before that, I dated both men and women."

"Really?" She asked, unfazed, "Does that mean you'll marry Sara?"

"Not necessarily, kiddo."

"But you like her."

"Yes."

"And she likes you."

I flushed, "Yeah, she does."

"So…"

"So, what?" I knew my little girl was too much of a Curious George to stop this line of questioning.

"So, I don't know, why don't you guys go out or something?"

"Well…" What was I supposed to say to that? I couldn't lie; tell her we weren't seeing each other and then tomorrow tell her we were. Damn. Cornered by an eleven year old. "Now, Lindsey, I promised Sara that I wouldn't tell you this until we were all together so-"

"Yes! I knew it! This is so cool! I get sisters!" Lindsey was so excited.

I was amazed that it went over this easy, I hoped the other girls would be this cool with it.

"Will Sara adopt me? Are we all moving in together? When can we move to California?"

"Linds, calm down. Look, I love Sara, but this is really new. We don't know if it's going to work out yet."

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Sometimes adults just don't get along, sweetheart."

"But you love her."

"I loved your father, too, Linds, but that didn't stop us from having problems. Now, listen, I want all of us to be a happy family, too, but we have to take it slow. Maggie and Ayla are still shook up about their dads, and they have to move in with Sara and start at a new school. I know you love Sara as much as I do, but we have to take it easy. No asking about being adopted or moving to California or calling the girls your sisters. Let's just have this vacation, okay? We'll worry about all of the other stuff when we get home."

"Okay, can we see the Golden Gate Bridge?"

The subject was dropped, and the talk of all the things to do in San Francisco lasted all through touch down and getting off the plane.

For some reason, I was suddenly nervous as we approached baggage claim.

My mind was aflame with doubts. It had been three weeks since I had seen Sara and the girls. What if things had changed? What if the girls didn't get along? My breath started to quicken as all the doubts Sara could possibly have about our relationship swamped through me.

Sure, we had talked nearly everyday on the phone and online, and she had given no indication that anything was wrong. Sure, she hadn't stopped me when I had invited myself up here for a second time. And sure, I had missed her every second of every day we were apart, with every bone in my very body and every ounce of my soul and every fiber of my lovesick being. But we were co-workers. And I was older. Not to mention, she was a new mom and this was the most inopportune time to start a relationship. Maybe it would all be too much. I was in a frenzy all the way down the terminal. Lindsey complained that I was crushing her hand. What was I going to do? What was I going to say?

And then I had no more time to panic.

As we stepped off the escalator and into baggage claim, I felt Lindsey drop my hand, "Sara!" She ran forward and I looked up.

There she was; tight low-slung jeans, black tank top, short sleeve linen blouse, hair back with the shorter chin-length strands tucked behind her ears. She was squatting low to pull my little girl into her arms. My heart thudded and my temperature rose about five degrees. This was it.

"Munchkin!" Sara easily lifted Lindsey up onto her hip.

"I missed you, Sara." Linds hugged Sara's neck. My heart thudded, and a little note in my head rung out, saying that this was exactly the way things were supposed to be.

"I missed you too, sweetie." Sara kissed the end of Lindsey's nose, making her giggle, and let her slide down to the ground.

And that's when she looked up and around at me. Her eyes were the same deep, liquid brown, and her soft and tentative smile was the same one I had left behind. Nothing had changed. Maybe the only doubts in her mind were the same ones that were running through mine.

I gave her my bravest smile and she instantly relaxed. She held her arms out wide to me, grinning, "Molly was forced to drop the suit!" She beamed, "The judge came back today and said that there was no room for argument in the instructions of the will; there isn't even a case to make. The girls are staying with me."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked into her arms and she squeezed me tightly. We hadn't really been worried, but it was good to know we were in the clear. I rested my chin on her shoulder until she stepped back and looked down at me once more. The expression in her eyes made my heart pound.

"Hey, you." That was all I could say. I did manage to hold out my hand, which she took.

"Hey."

Both of our voices were hoarse and charged. We had involuntarily stepped in closer to each other. She was real; she was here. I was touching her and it was unbelievable how much I'd missed being able to do that. I couldn't look away from her. Or, at least I couldn't until I heard giggling at my side. Sara and I both looked down at my beaming daughter.

"What's so funny?" Sara asked, squeezing my hand.

Lindsey giggled and swayed back and forth. "You can kiss her, you know, if you want…" She laughed again.

"What?" Sara looked flustered and I was probably matching her as far as the color of our cheeks.

"She forced it out of me, I swear," I said by way of explanation. I smiled my apology.

Lindsey rolled her eyes, "You guys were looking at each other like they do in the movies right before they kiss; it was kind obvious."

Sara blushed at me and I pulled at her shirt hem. Lindsey walked behind me and pushed me into Sara's arms. I laughed at being pushed, but it felt amazing to have her hands on me again. This close to her, I could count her eyelashes as she intently studied my face.

"Will you just do it already? I'm hungry. We didn't even get peanuts on the plane."

Sara questioned me with a tilt of her head and slightly upturned lips.

I shrugged and smiled. My sneaky daughter. "Well, we have permission…"

Sara nodded and pressed her lips to mine. After two weeks away, those lips, cliché I know, felt like the first time. We moved closer, shutting our eyes and tilting our heads to the sides. Sweet surrender! Love, love, love, love, love!

Wanting to keep it PG in front of Lindsey, I pulled back and rested my forehead on Sara's; my eyes closed.

"I missed you." Those words seemed so inadequate. I wanted to say something poetic- something to move mountains. But either I couldn't think of anything or I'm just not a poetry kind of person.

Sara could only nod.

Lindsey coughed, "Now you guys are just embarrassing yourselves. Can we please get the bags and go? I didn't know you guys were gonna go all gross and mushy on me."

We both laughed and broke apart, instinctively each taking one of my daughter's hands as Sara shouldered Lindsey's Powerpuff Girls backpack.

"So, how did you do on your last spelling test, kiddo?" Sara asked, swinging her arm.

Lindsey's stories of school kept us busy through getting the suitcases and leaving the airport. In the car on the highway, Lindsey asked why Ayla and Maggie didn't come to pick us up at the airport. Sara explained that Ayla still had another day of school left and Maggie was with her grandmother.

"I also wanted to talk to you, Linds." Sara spoke, looking in the rearview mirror, "Mom told you that their Dads died and that they're coming to live with me, right?"

Both Lindsey and I nodded.

"Well, do you remember how sad you were when your Daddy died?"

Lindsey nodded again.

"Well, that's how sad Ayla is right now. Maggie is still too little to understand, but Ayla is like you were."

"She must be really hungry." Linds didn't eat anything concrete for about a week after Eddie died.

Sara smiled, "No, Linds, I mean she's shy. And she's a lot shyer than you. So you have to be really careful, okay? She's not even eight yet, so she's a lot younger than you, too. And you're so full of energy, you just need to be extra nice, okay?"

Lindsey nodded her understanding, "Don't worry. I'll be good."

"Okay, then, what do you say we stop and get some milkshakes and lunch? By the time we're done, the girls will be home."

"Yes! Definitely!"

So much for not feeding Lindsey sugar.

IOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOI

Well? WELL!? Apparently I'm a big meany if I lord posts over you, but I have to do something to get you lazy bums to review. And threat, bribe, or challenge ideas you have, please let me know.

Maybe incentives are the way to go. Okay. I have the next two chapters written. If I get more than twenty-five reviews, I will post the next chapter in less than three days. Ready. Set. GO!