A/N: Hooray! I knew you could do it. Thirty-one reviews! You are all fantastic! So, just like I promised, definitely less that three days, right? Here you go!

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I think both Sara and I were nervous about Lindsey meeting the girls. What would happen if they didn't get along? When we arrived at the Winger's house, Sara stepped ahead of me into the den. Lindsey hung back and sipped her milkshake suddenly shy of meeting the girls she hadn't stopped talking about since she was aware of their existence. I could hear the TV coming from the den.

"Hey, guys," I heard Sara say, "I brought you a surprise."

I tousled my daughter's hair, which she scowled at, and then peaked around the door.

"It's Cafrin!" Maggie launched off the sofa and catapulted into my legs, barely touching the ground once. I grinned; I couldn't believe how much I'd missed her.

"It's Maggie!" I lifted her high into the air, tickling her. She giggled at me as we rubbed noses. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the cutest little girl of all time.

"You're back! Ayla said you won't come back. I said you will." She grinned triumphantly at me, "I win!"

She blew a raspberry over her shoulder and I turned slightly to see her big sister standing beside Sara with the most adorable hopeful look on her face. I set Maggie down and strode over to Ayla. Kneeling in front of her, I took both of her hands.

"You thought I wouldn't come back? I told you I would."

She shrugged, her eyes on her shoes. She looked like she might cry.

"Hey, honey, come here." I wrapped her in a hug and stood, lifting her off the ground. She clung to me like a monkey, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. Her dark head was buried in my chest and I felt her little body begin to heave with great silent sobs.

My heart ached. This poor girl. She had only just lost her parents, Sara and I are the first people she latches on to and only days after I gain her trust, I'm gone. Combine that with Sara's vanishing act four years ago, a grandmother dead last year, and her dads cruelly taken from her; no wonder she thought I wasn't coming back. I looked over Ayla's shoulder at Sara who gave me a reassuring smile, though her eyes were wet. So were mine. I could feel the damp spot in my top, and her tears were making me cry as well.

"Hey, shh," I held her tight to me and rocked her back and forth. "It's okay, I'm right here; we're okay." I kissed the top of her head.

After a minute, she pulled up, sniffling. She looked at me with wide little girl eyes. It's always been easy to forget Ayla isn't several years older than she is, but in that moment she looked all of and exactly her seven years.

"Hey." I smiled warmly as I set her down. "How are you sweet one?" I tucked a strand of her hair back with one hand as I wiped my face with the other one. "I really missed you, did you know that?"

"Really?"

I nodded. "Mhm. Aunty Mo sent me pictures of you at the park with Maggie and Sara and I had to look at your picture everyday- twice a day, because I missed you so much."

She grinned at me until we were interrupted.

"Who are you? You're a big girl, huh? You're tall. What's that? Is that soda? Soda is bad for you. Can I have some of that soda, please?" I turned to see Maggie challenging Lindsey in the doorway.

Lindsey laughed. "I'm Lindsey. Catherine is my mommy. And yes, I am a big girl, I'm practically a teenager. But I'm not that tall; you're short, that's all- but you'll probably grow out of it. And this isn't soda, it's a strawberry milkshake, but you can have some if you want."

"'kay!" Maggie snatched the cup from my daughter and drank greedily from the straw.

I turned back to Ayla to see that she had withdrawn to the sofa. I sighed, "Why don't we all go out to the kitchen so Maggie doesn't drop that on the carpet?" I stood and took the very big drink from the very little girl.

Maggie immediately turned to Lindsey, her arms outspread. "Ride?!"

Lindsey grinned up at me and Sara. She handed her backpack to Sara, took Maggie's hand and brought her over to the sofa. As she hoisted Maggie onto the cushions, she smiled shyly at Ayla who took another step back and fell into a chair. Linds turned around and brought Maggie's arms around her neck.

"Now, on the count of three you jump up and I catch your legs, okay?"

"Piggy-back ride!"

"Right. Okay, ready?"

"Set…"

"Go!"

Maggie leapt atop my daughter who caught her with ease. "Pony!" Maggie giggled and her laugh was contagious, both Sara and I were smiling.

Sara held out one of her hands to Ayla who scampered to grab it, and she held the other out to me. I smiled at her and we navigated our way back through the house to the kitchen. Maggie gleefully took back the milkshake and climbed a stool to sit on the counter, her legs swinging. Ayla took up a place crouching behind Sara's legs, hugging her around the knees. Lindsey zeroed in on this behavior just as I did. She approached Ayla as if she were a frightened animal. Sara and I just watched as Lindsey took up the same position behind me as Ayla was in behind Sara.

"Hi," she said quietly.

Ayla only watched her.

"My name is Lindsey."

Ayla nodded.

"Did you know my Dad died this year, too?" she questioned.

Ayla nodded again, "Sara said."

Lindsey commiserated, "Its not fun, is it?"

Ayla sniffed, shook her head, and sat down.

Lindsey took this as her cue to move closer and she sat next to the smaller dark haired girl. "Do you get scared sometimes?" Lindsey asked.

Ayla's lip quivered and she nodded.

"Yeah, me too." Lindsey scooted closer to the little girl.

Sara and I looked at each other in amazement before turning back to the scene. No one had gotten Ayla to talk about how she felt about her dads' deaths, not really. Not even Sara. My smart girl.

"But Sara will take care of you, she's really great. She doesn't know about everything, like brushing teeth and stuff."

"I know," Ayla nodded. "But she knows about bedtime stories."

Lindsey agreed, "I taught her that."

"That's good." Ayla smiled a small smile.

"You know, you can borrow my Mommy anytime you want. She's really good at all that stuff, too."

"Okay," Ayla said, as if borrowing parents was like trading cupcakes. "I like her."

"Yeah." Lindsey looked up at me and grinned, "She's cool. Sometimes." She turned back to Ayla, "So, do you like to draw?"

Ayla's eyes lit up and she nodded. "I drew the whole solar system for my astronomy professor."

"I have the special-colored markers." Lindsey stood up and held out her hand.

To the surprise of Sara and I, Ayla took it. "I have the ones with sparkles."

"Cool."

Maggie clambered off the counter, abandoning her milkshake. "I wanna color, too!"

Lindsey looked to me and Sara, taking her backpack off the side of the chair. "We're going to go outside and color, okay?" She held her other hand out to Maggie who swung on it like a vine.

All either of us could do was nod. Lindsey turned away and towards the back door, continuing to hold the little girls' hands, "So what do you like to draw…" Their voices faded as they walked out onto the porch.

I just stared after them, "Wow. That went well. Really well."

"She is so your daughter."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I challenged.

Sara wrapped her arms around my waist, trying to smooth my feathers. It was worked. "Lindsey is the most popular girl in her class, Catherine, and not because she's mean to people or thinks she's better than them. She is a natural born leader, just like you. Her self-confidence radiates. And she's wonderful with people, even people like Ayla and me."

During her whole speech, spoken into my hair, Sara had run her hands up and down my sides. By the time she had stopped, I was a puddle.

"Sara…" My voice had to be dripping with want.

She shook her head, "Three on the porch with the door open. Not to mention, two septuagenarians somewhere in the house."

I sighed and nodded, but made no move to step away.

"Not that I don't want to throw you on the counter and take you right here…"

This was whispered low in my ear, and desire coursed through me and propelled me further into Sara's arms. She hissed at the new contact. Wow. We hadn't even made love yet and we had already progressed to talking dirty? Not that I minded. Not at all. Quite the opposite, Holy Mother of-

"But you know we can't." Her words banked my urges somewhat.

I sighed, "And we really should wait, besides."

Stepping away, she looked at me, "Why?" She questioned.

Oops. Two weeks away and I had forgotten how easy it was to tip the scales on my girlfriend's low self-esteem. Okay, I had to say this right. "Sara," I breathed, "we've been together for barely three weeks. Now, normally by the time the three week marker comes along, I've fucked the guy on every available surface, but Sara-"

"You said you were bi, why definitely a guy?" Sara's face was guarded.

Shit. Okay. Wrong thing to say! "Sara, I've had sex with women. I've probably hooked up with more women than men at this point. But I've only ever seriously dated men. I had a few casual things with women before I married Eddie, but…"

Sara began to back away, "So, what is this?"

I grabbed her wrists, pulled her back to me, and put her hands on my face, "No, Sara, listen to me. With men it was different, I felt safe."

"You don't feel safe with me?" Sara looked as if I'd burned her and pulled her arms out of my grasp.

Shit. "Ah! No! Sara, that's not what I meant at all. I feel so safe when I'm in your arms." I wrapped myself around her waist. Oh, god. She looked so crushed.

"Then…what did you mean?"

She didn't return my embrace. She wouldn't even look me in the eye. But she also was not pushing me away, either. A fact that was not lost on my very befuddled brain.

"I meant that my heart felt safe, baby. I meant that I stayed away from women in a dating context because I knew that I would fall so much easier- get hurt so much easier. But with men, that couldn't happen. When it was just men, or just sex, that never happened."

She seemed a little calmer, "So…" her voice was a whisper.

I responded in kind, "So, I want you, baby. I want you. And as much as I want to hold you, and taste you, and feel you inside me; I want more." I cupped her face in my hands, "Sar, I've never wanted all of the things I want with you with anybody else. Yes, I want your body, believe me I really, really do,"

She cracked a smile at my adamancy.

"But I want you in my life, too, Sara. Not just in my bed. More importantly, I want you in Lindsey's life. And that is something I have never wanted with any three week lover."

Sara looked at me like she was about to cry, but the corners of her mouth were turned up. "So, no over the counter?"

I grinned and pushed my hips playfully into her, crisis officially averted, "Oh, trust me, there will be plenty of over the counter, and under the counter- we are going to break the counter, Sara." I kissed her nose, "Just not yet."

Now she was all out grinning, "I can live with that."

"I just hope I can too." I laughed.

We went outside to find the girls playing with Marie's cat on the wooden deck. I saw the gleam in Lindsey's eye as she rubbed him under his chin.

"Mommy-"

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, you may not have a cat."

Lindsey frowned at me.

I gave her the stern, one raised eyebrow look.

"Fine." She looked sullen.

Sara looked at Ayla as she collapsed into a deck chair, "Honey, do you have any homework?"

The girl shook her head, "Tomorrow is the last day, Sara. We just play games."

"Yeah? That's exciting."

Ayla shook her head, "Not really. They make you play and I don't like the games. I'd rather read the book you gave me."

Sitting in a deck chair across from Sara's, I marveled at the ease with which the two brunettes conversed- so different from the strained attempts from before I left. I also couldn't get over the grown-up way Ayla spoke and how Sara would have been exactly like this when she was little.

"You like it?"

Ayla nodded.

"What book is it?" Lindsey asked.

"Indian in the Cupboard. It's really interesting." Ayla smiled a big, excited gap-toothed smile.

Lindsey spotted it. She bit her lip and wrinkled her brow, "You smile like Sara," she said, tapping her front teeth.

Sara's reaction was immediate; she hated her smile. Her lips snapped tight shut, her cheeks turned bright pink, and she looked to the ground. It made me angry that she was so under-confident about something I loved about her. I looked at Ayla. She clearly didn't think the same way Sara did; her eyes were bright, if anything her smile was bigger, and her cheeks were flushed with pride, not embarrassment.

"Angel kiss!" Maggie exclaimed, throwing her arms skyward.

"What?" I asked her.

Ayla grinned again. "It's my angel kiss." She explained, "Every time a baby is born, an angel gives them two kisses. Everyone gets one on the tummy and that's how they get their belly button."

Maggie giggled at this and lifted up her dress to point out her bellybutton.

"Ah. I see, and what about the other kiss?" I questioned, out of the corner of my eye I could see that Sara was listening, but she hadn't really looked up yet.

"Well, the other kiss is special. Magic. Your angel kisses you and you get a special present. Daddy said Maggie got an eye kiss because when she is happy her eyes twinkle and that makes other people happy." Ayla walked over to Sara and pushed her head up. Sara was still blushing hard, but Ayla didn't seem to notice, "Go like this," she ordered, baring her teeth.

Sara hesitated, but she did it. Ayla ran her finger along the gap in Sara's teeth and nodded.

She turned back to me, "Daddy said I got kissed on the lips so I got a split smile." She looked back to Sara, smiled, and pecked her on the lips, "Split smiles make you smile bigger and when you smile big, you make other people want to smile too." She kissed Sara again, "Daddy said he and Papa were lucky because if you know two people with the same angel then you get good luck. He said Sara and I have the same angel so we both get split smiles."

At this, Sara looked startled, but pleased. I knew that part a of her brain was going over the real reason they both had gap teeth. Some part of her genius mind was busy isolating the exact gene they shared.

"Besides," Ayla continued, "I can whistle through my teeth this way and I can't whistle the regular way." She demonstrated.

Maggie looked up from petting the cat, "Can you do that, Sara?"

Sara grinned that beautiful grin and produced the exact same sound.

"Cool!" Lindsey exclaimed.

Maggie laughed and so did Ayla; they both laughed Sara's laugh.

Sara heard the peal too and her eyes welled with emotion. She swept Ayla up into her lap and kissed her on the forehead. I had a feeling that she no longer hated her gap. They both looked at me and smiled and, just like Ayla had said, I couldn't help but smile back. Ayla laughed at this and turned to whisper something into Sara's ear.

Sara looked at me and nodded, "I think you might be right."

Ayla nodded. "Maggsies," she motioned with her hand, "Come here."

Maggie went over and Ayla whispered to her. After a moment, Maggie turned to me, frowning. She looked at Ayla, "Really?"

Ayla and Sara nodded.

Almost cautiously, Maggie approached me, her expression doubtful. She stepped in between my legs and put a hand on either side of my face, bringing me down to her. "Smile!" she commanded.

I obeyed, having no idea what was going on but thinking that she was adorable, and gave her my best smile.

Her big grey-blue-green eyes studied mine for a moment before she yelled, "Wow!" And jumped into my lap.

I caught her in a hug and smiled when she pulled back, "Goodness, what was that for?" I asked this of Sara.

She beamed at me, "We think you and Maggie have the same angel." She said.

The two brown haired girls nodded in agreement. Lindsey laughed out loud and moved to Sara's side. I pulled Maggie further into my lap and felt my eyes burn with tears. It was not lost on me how perfect this afternoon had turned out. It could have gone so many other worse ways.

I kissed the top of Maggie's head, "Thank you…"

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San Francisco with Sara and the girls was a blast. Many things had changed while I had been in Las Vegas. The girls were adjusting well, and I was amazed at elasticity of children. They were clearly still affected by their fathers' deaths, as was to be expected, but Maggie and Ayla were also smiling and having fun.

Lindsey helped with that a lot. She took on the responsibility of making the girls have fun as much as possible. When we went to the wharf, she taught them how to play the arcade games and when we went to the park she showed them how to do trick kicks with the soccer ball. Ayla, who had never really shown interest in any of the sorts of things that Lindsey liked to do, seemed to want to do them if only to appease my daughter. She liked having an older friend who paid attention to her and treated her like she was smart and worthy of attention.

Sara and I watched in awe as the girls bonded. Maggie was in love with Lindsey. Lindsey would give her piggy back rides on the beach and she taught her how to hold her breath under water in the pool. At the aquarium, Lindsey would hoist her up on the bars to look at the fishes. All three of them were inseparable from the minute they met. Lindsey wanted to help them the way Sara had helped her, she protected them and helped them to move on.

Sara and I took the time to get comfortable with each other, too. We had known each other for nearly four years, but in an entirely different capacity. Even our relationship since Eddie died, when we had not been fighting, was vastly different form the one we were trying to create.

We spent quiet hours together when the girls were asleep or out with their grandparents or Larry and Tim. Sometimes Sara would read me the latest forensic articles, which bored me to no end, for the most part, but I was perfectly content to rest my head in her lap and watch her eyes scour the pages.

Other times, we watched movies. I found out that Sara liked to make fun of the action/crime thriller films and how inaccurate they were. I have always liked doing this too, but my friends think it's really annoying. Nancy, especially, can't handle it. So, we would sit together and shout at the TV screen, things like, "Why are the feds here exactly? A stalker in LA isn't exactly cross-jurisdictional," or, "Oh, sure I'll just get right on that voice comparison- should be ready by the time you get back from the donut shop!"

My favorite nights were the ones when the girls and Sara and I cooked for Marie, Tony, Larry, and Tim. It was such fun. We danced and sang around the kitchen, with someone invariably getting covered in flour or tomato sauce, or molasses.

On the third day Lindsey and I were there, Sara and I sat down with the girls to talk about our relationship and see where we stood. They seemed to like me well enough, but we wanted to be completely honest with them. Not that I knew how to tell a four year I was dating her mom. I suddenly knew how all of my past boyfriends felt; awkward. Lindsey and Ayla were working in the new sketchbooks we bought them, and Maggie was busy with her Disney princess coloring book. They were in the den watching Monsters Inc.

Sara and I sat on the floor next to them and broached the subject of us dating. The reaction was slightly unexpected. And fairly amusing.

"Yeah, we know."

Sara frowned and I raised an eyebrow. "You do?"

Ayla shrugged. "Sure. Everybody does. It's kind of obvious. Uncle Tim calls you guys Princess Dyke and Femme Charming."

Lindsey gasped. In her world, you did not use the D-word.

Sara and I stared at each other, bug-eyed. "He what?"

Ayla never looked up from her drawing. "Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense to me."

"No?"

"Well, you guys are too old to be like a prince and princess, and you're both girls so it should be two princesses." She cocked her head to one side, "Though, Daddy always calls Papa his Queen in Shining Armor, so maybe that part is okay."

I smirked and saw Sara fighting a smile. "So does that mean you're okay with my dating Sara?"

"Yes!" Maggie said adamantly as she bounded into my lap. She made kissing faces and noises up at me and then laughed.

Ayla smiled and scrunched her nose, "Yeah. I mean, it's not like I could do anything about it. I'm only seven. But I don't think it will be psychologically damaging if that's what you're worried about. Me and Maggie like you and this way you'll be around more to help Sara with stuff." She nodded sympathetically, "It can be very difficult to raise two children on your own, especially in situations like this; no one could reasonably expect her to do it by herself." She stood up. "I gotta pee."

I pursed my lips to hide a smile and turned a raised eyebrow at Sara. She was shaking her head and looking skyward. When she looked back at me she rolled her eyes. Standing, she tugged me to my feet and pulled me out to the deck where we quickly took up our favorite position of her leaning back on a deck chair with me sitting across her lap, an arm around her shoulders.

"I caught her reading one of Molly's parenting books last week. Now she's just a little wellspring of information. The other night? She told me that even though she thought she could read her book on her own, bedtime story-reading was 'an ideal parent-child bonding activity'."

I grinned. "Remind you of someone?"

Sara looked at me, nonplussed. "Who?"

"Sara…" I gave her an exasperated look. "When I told you to 'flip through' that manual on horse-racing for that case we pulled at the track three months ago, you read the whole thing cover to cover in six hours and proceeded to berate me with it until after we finally caught the guy three weeks later."

"Do you know what they do to those poor animals? It's inhuman. Did you know that-" I clapped my hand over her mouth.

"You've probably already told me about it. Twice. And if I've forgotten it's because I don't want to remember; you have a rather graphic gift of description." I kissed my fingers where they rested over her lips. "All I meant was that that little girl is so much like you." Her eyes widened, but I continued, "How did she even get a hold of one of Molly's books, hmm?" I took my hand from her mouth.

She flushed, "Umm, well, I…"

"You were reading it, right? And you left it out where little hands with a high school reading level might find it." I tapped my temple. "She's got your mind, Sara. Not sorta-kinda, but without a doubt."

Sara knitted her brow in concentration. Her eyes were stormy all of a sudden.

"What is it?" I brushed a fingertip over her jaw. This was one of the few G-rated positions in which I would ever be able to look down on her.

"It's just…that doesn't make any sense. Genetics don't determine thought process. Even if her brain structure and capacity mirror mine- which is genetically improbable, her life experiences should have altered her perceptions of the things around her. I left four years ago and I've barely seen her since. We shouldn't think the same."

Oh, my precious little science geek. I kissed her lightly. "Unless she's copying you on purpose."

Sara frowned and shook her head. "Why would she do that? Is she even capable of consciously doing that?"

"I don't know if it's possible but I can tell you why."

She waited, curious.

"Hon, Ayla is totally in love with everything that you do."

"What?" Sara looked frightened.

"She looks up to you, worships you, she thinks you hung the whole damn universe. And I'm guessing she always has. She wants to be like you, so, whether she does it on purpose or not, she mimics what you do. I think it's adorable."

"Why? Why would she do that?" Sara's breathing quickened.

I got a little worried. Placing one had on her chest and the other on her neck, I tilted her head so she would look at me. "Honey? Sara? What's wrong?"

She shook her head frantically.

"Okay, sweetie, calm down; calm down." I pulled her head to my chest and kissed her brow. Her arms came up around my middle and she snuggled tighter. "Shh, alright, you're safe now." I don't know why I said that. We were in a backyard in suburban California, the sky was blue, the sun was shining; of course she was safe. But it had seemed like the right thing to say at the time.

After a few minutes, she calmed. "Sorry," she mumbled against my chest. She moved her head to speak against my neck and I fought shivers. "It's just…sometimes this whole thing seems like too much. It's just a lot. I still miss them, you know. I miss them so much." She was crying now, heaving against my shoulder.

I just held her. "I know you do."

"And I can't stop or even slow down the way I want to, because she's there and Maggie's there and they don't need that. And I don't know how to give them everything and I just feel like I'm never going to." She shuddered. "And I'm scared, I'm so panicked all of the time." She sat up and her face was cute and blotchy. "Like at the market the other day? Maggie ate one of the free samples. It was a fruit salad. And never mind how many people probably breathed and spit on it, Maggie is allergic to strawberries, and I didn't know if there were any in the salad so I had to watch her all day in case she had a reaction. I was a nervous wreck. And it's like that all the time now. Because if they step out into the street without looking or if they cut themselves with the scissors, it's my fault; I should have been there."

I stroked her hair back, "Well, I've got some bad news for you, love. That feeling of fear and dread and constant panic? That is now your perpetual state of life for all eternity. It's called being a mom."

I saw her mouth the word 'mom' under her breath. She shook whatever she was thinking away with a jerk of her head. "Does it get better?"

I shook my head, "No, it pretty much gets worse. Because when there this age, believe it or not, this is the most control you'll ever have of them. When they're not with you, their at school or with a relative or trusted friend. Sure, as they get older they can take better care of themselves, they know more. But the list of things they need to know that you don't want to, but have to, be the one to tell them stretches from here to the moon."

"So…what do I do?"

I smiled slightly, "You take the good times as they come, I guess. And try to find a happy medium between the 'cool mom' and wrapping your kid in foam padding- very unfashionable right now."

This made her smile a bit. "That's it?"

"It's all I got."

She wrapped her arms around my waist again and leaned in to kiss me. When I didn't move in as well, she opened her eyes to see uncertain expression, "What's wrong?"

I hesitated.

The thing was, that no matter what Sara said, there was more to this story than she was letting me believe. She'd have to be stupid to think that I, a trained investigator, wouldn't notice her little diversion tactic. She was going to say something along the vein of parenting and then she suddenly changed to talking about Matt and Warren until she had a better grip on herself. And on the one hand, I wanted to call her on it. On the other, I had the feeling that whatever this was, and I had my suspicions, it was also the painful thing she had avoided telling me that night on the beach. Not something to get into right now, and not something to push her on. But also not something I could just let lie. I decided on a compromise.

I touched her cheek lovingly, "Someday, you're going to have to tell me why you're so afraid to be a mother to your daughters- the real reason." She shrunk in the chair and failed my gaze. "The reason why you could get away with skipping school when you were eight years old. Why Charlotte says that you were never happy until you came here. Why everyone I've met has threatened me painful death if I hurt you. Someday, Sara, you have to tell me." She started to protest but I stopped her. "Not today. Not today, Sara. In fact, I don't even want to know until you're ready to tell me. I know you trust me and that this is just something you need to come to terms with on your own. I just wanted to let you know that I know there's something, and that no matter what it is, I will still be here long after you decide to tell me. Okay?"

Wordlessly, looking off into the distance, she nodded.

"Good." I kissed her lips firmly. "So," I smiled, "which one of us do you think is Femme Charming?"

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Later that day, when we were alone at Larry and Tim's, Lindsey and I had a little talk that tested my parenting skills and made me realize even more that my daughter was less of a little girl every day and more of a young woman.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Why didn't Ayla get in trouble when she said…that word, today? You said it's a really bad thing to call somebody."

"Well…" I sat down and dipped my feet in the pool alongside hers. Should have seen this one coming. Let's see, how to explain this one. "It can be. It all depends on how you use it- your intentions when you say it." I ran my fingers through her long blonde hair.

"So as long as I mean to be nice, I can say it?"

Hmm… You never realize the complexities of life until you have to explain them to children. "Not exactly, Linds. It's like…you know how Sara calls you 'Shorty' and 'Shortstuff' sometimes?"

"Yeah, it's like a nickname."

"But if anybody else called you that, even me, you'd get annoyed, right?"

She shrugged, "Sara's just kidding, I know she's only joking. When other people say it's different- like they think I'm a little kid or something."

I smiled. "Exactly. You know that she's kidding. See, that word started out as a really negative way to say 'lesbian', and people only use it positively when they are sure that the person they're talking to will know that they're joking. It's probably a good idea for you to not say it until you're a little older, if you use it wrong you can really hurt people's feelings."

"So, why didn't Ayla get in trouble?"

"Well, Ayla is still pretty little and she was just repeating what Tim said. And the way he used it was okay. Also, I think that because Ayla grew up with two dads and they had lots of gay friends, I think she's probably used to hearing 'dyke' said in a positive way. She probably doesn't know not to say it sometimes, or else she thought it was okay because Sara and I are together."

"Oh." My daughter knitted her brow. "Mommy?"

"Yes, babydoll?"

"Are you a lesbian now that you're Sara's girlfriend?"

Sara's girlfriend. That's me. Honestly, Sara being a woman was such an un-problem compared to everything else that we had to face, I hadn't given it much thought. "Would that bother you?"

She shrugged again. "I guess not. I was just wondering."

I sighed. "Well, it's complicated, but the closest answer is 'sort of'."

"Sort of?"

"Sort of. See, the answer is 'no' because my orientation hasn't changed; I still think men are handsome and women are beautiful. But the answer is also 'yes' because now that I'm with Sara, I don't want to be with anybody else. Man or woman."

"And Sara's a girl which makes you a lesbian, and half yes and half no means sort of."

"You're a smart cookie."

"This is going to be so cool."

"Why?"

"Because I am going to have two moms."

"And besides that Sara and I are like the coolest people ever, that's cool why?"

Lindsey smiled up at me with a sneaky glint in her eye. "Ms. Helms, my gym teacher, and Señora Battista, my Spanish teacher, are both lesbians. And they give Olivia Torres better grades because she has two moms. I don't see why I shouldn't get the same." Oh, boy.

The week flew by and soon it was time to go. We had spent four days cleaning out Matt and Warren's house. Sara had decided to sell it so we had to get all of the personal effects out and in boxes, put the excess furniture in storage, and clean the whole house top to bottom. We had a lot of help. It seemed that all of Matt and Warren's and all of Sara's friends came out of the woodwork. Employees of Warren's coffee shops, classmates, professors, the guy who cleaned their rain gutters; just about anyone, including many people Sara had never met, donated their time and services to getting the job done.

When the ten days were up, I once again found myself on Larry and Tim's deck watching the setting sun. This time I was saying goodbye to the ocean for an indefinite amount of time. I was going to miss it and everything I'd come to associate with it. I wanted to stay here. Until now, I'd always thought myself as a cowgirl or a city girl. But being here everyday, I'd come to realize that I was simply a misplaced beach girl. We had driven a few hours south one day, where the water is warmer, and I had had my family day at the beach. There was such a serenity to the ocean that I had never felt before.

Sara felt it. Beside me, her hands on the railing, she was watching the fire-orange sphere of the sun dip below the horizon. In the afterglow of pinks and purples, grays and greens, she looked magnificent. Her thick-collared, black wool sweater swallowed up the waning light and her dark hair whipped around her face as the wind rose up. As I watched her pensive profile, I was caught up in a torrent of emotion.

The biggest part of me was just amazed that we were together, that we had gotten this far and that she wanted to be with me. But other things were seeping into my thoughts as well. Things were about to change. It was hard to believe it, but this crazy, dramatic, soap-operatic month had been the easy part. Going home, living life as normal; that was where things were going to get tricky. We had said we would figure out a plan when we got home, but I was starting to think that maybe we should have thought of something before this. I was back at work tomorrow and Sara, the week after. Our lives began again the moment we stepped off that plane.

I sighed which caused Sara to turn her head away from the darkening sky and watch me instead. There wasn't much we could do about it now. We would just have to figure it out as we went along. I slid my hand along the railing and wrapped it around Sara's. "Ready to go?"

She blinked, hesitated, drew a deep breath, and then finally, she nodded. I smiled encouragingly.

We could do this.

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Well? I came through so you've got to review. Hehe. I rhymed.

So, I thought I was done with two chapters but it's actually just the one. It might be a week or so. But remember, reviews inspire the creative mind!