A/N: It's my birthday today! I'm in New York City for the weekend and I am getting new shoes. Have you ever noticed how as you get older your birthdays get less exciting? I haven't had a real party in years, and I never would have gotten excited about shoes before. But I need them, so you see it's a practical gift. I'm getting boring in my old age.

Anyhow, here's my birthday post (part 2 of my birthday post). I'm listening to Clouds by Joni Mitchell right now, it has put me in a really bizarre frame of mind.

Hope you like it, I tried to be realistic. Tell me if I succeeded?

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"You must be Sara!"

Nancy bypassed me and her niece and strode through the front door to envelope my stunned girlfriend in a very tight hug. I shook my head. Oh, lord. Luckily this 'sisterly gesture' only lasted about three seconds.

Sara coughed and stepped a few paces back when she was released. "Uh, yeah, that's me."

"Wonderful!" I could hear Nancy's pained smile even if her back was to me.

Sara met my eyes over my sister's shoulder, pleading for help. I smirked and was tempted not to rescue her, she looked so cute. But I did. "Hey, Nance? You wanna help me in the kitchen for a sec?"

Nancy smiled in a plastic way. "But I'm just getting to know Sara."

Sara interjected, "There will be plenty of time for that later, go if you want."

"If you're sure." Nancy agreed without further argument.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at Sara who smiled back.

At that moment, my eleven year-old nephew dropped his bike on the front step and made his entrance. "Hey, Lindsey. Hey, Auntie Cath." He eyed Sara, "Is this your girlfriend?"

"Jeremy!" Nancy admonished, though I have no clue as to why.

"Yes," I went to stand next to Sara, "Sara, meet my nephew, Jeremy. Jeremy meet Sara."

Jeremy held out a had which Sara shook, "Nice to meet ya."

"Nice to meet you, too, Jeremy." Sara looked through the open door. "What kind of bike you got out there?"

Jeremy looked over his shoulder at his bike, "Trek MT 240, it's getting a little small for me though."

"Yeah, looking for an upgrade?"

Jeremy nodded, "Going for an adult bike, maybe a Schwinn or something."

Sara nodded, "Good deal. I've got a Trek 6 series."

Jeremy's eyes popped, "Which model?"

"6700."

"No way, that's like a ten million dollar bike."

Sara laughed, "It's not quite that much. But it was a lot."

"Awesome, can I see it?"

Sara shook her head, "It's at my apartment, but I can bring it by next time you're over."

"Awesome!"

I smiled. Just like that, Sara had won Jeremy over. If only my sister were that easy.

Later that afternoon, Nancy and I sat by the pool while the girls played in it and Sara and Jeremy were in the house looking at car magazines.

Nancy looked over at me. "I'm pregnant."

I blinked, "What?"

"You heard me." She smiled.

"Are you sure? Oh my God, that's fantastic!" Nancy and her husband, Mitch, had been trying for a second baby since Jeremy was two. When he turned ten, they finally gave up.

"Pretty darn sure, I've been to the doctor and he said everything looked fine so far. All of my blood tests were perfect."

I leaned over and hugged her, "How far along are you?"

"Five weeks."

I frowned, "How long have you known?"

Nancy ducked her head guiltily, "Two."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Well, it's not exactly as if you've been around much, Cath. Don't even try to pretend you haven't been ignoring my calls."

It was my turn to look guilty, "You're right, I'm sorry."

"What's going on, Cath? Does this have to do with Sara and your new life? I used to see you at least three or four times a week, and I haven't seen you at all in nearly a month."

I leaned back, closed my eyes, and sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable and I didn't want to make me uncomfortable and I especially didn't want to make Sara feel uncomfortable. We've been working so hard lately, and uncomfortable is just not what we need."

"So your solution is to shut me out?" I could hear the hurt in her voice.

"I know, I know, it was a stupid, immature thing to do. I just didn't know how else to handle it. I'm sorry."

"You handle it by letting me get to know Sara. We both know that I'm a bit uncomfortable with this, and yeah, if I think about it too much, it kind of freaks me out that my sister is having sex with girls."

"Women," I interjected, "And it's actually just the one."

She half-smiled. "But my point is that I don't want to be like this, and keeping me out of your life isn't going to help anything. I like Sara a lot. I can see that she's good for you. And her girls are sweet. I want to be a part of yours and Lindsey's lives just as much as I always did. If that means welcoming them into mine, then that's what I'm going to do."

I reached over and hugged her again, "Thank you."

She nodded and put her sunglasses on. "Besides, I'm not the one you need to worry about." She was right.

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I hadn't really spoken to my mother since my return from San Francisco. It wasn't that we didn't talk, because we did. We just didn't say much of anything. She would call about once a week and we would talk for ten minutes or so, mostly about her life or Lindsey before one of us would make some excuse to hang up. She didn't ask about my life and I took that as my cue not to mention it. By now I knew that Nancy had ratted me out. Or the

way she said it; 'I may have accidentally given Mom the impression that you were in a same-sex relationship again'. And I knew better than to expect my mother to throw a party.

But Sara and I had discussed it, and avoiding my family was just another thing that was stressing us out. She wasn't putting any pressure on me, but I knew that something had to be done. Besides, it had always been my stance that my mother's opinion of my sexuality was her problem, not mine. I wasn't going to hide my life from her. I decided to paint her a clear picture and let her take it from there. I invited her over to the house one afternoon while Sara took the girls to see Finding Nemo at the movie theater.

She rung the bell when she arrived, which was different from her typical barging in. I guess she didn't want to interrupt anything. She looked a bit hesitant when I opened the door. "Hey, Mom." I hugged her lightly and kissed her cheek, which was different from my usual head nod. "Why don't you come on in?" I stood back to let her pass.

She walked into the house like she was seeing it for the first time. Her eyes were darting around as if searching for something.

I coughed. "I hope you don't mind, it's just us today. Lindsey's on a play date." Not a lie.

She immediately straightened, "Oh no, dear, that's fine."

"Can I get you anything? Iced tea, maybe? Or the- Lindsey made lemonade." I had been about to say the girls made lemonade, but caught myself. I was trying to ease her into this, not bombard her with it. Sure, maybe her reaction bothered me, but that didn't mean I didn't understand where she was coming from. She did love me, after all.

"Iced tea would be lovely, dear."

I asked her to wait in the living room while I got the drinks ready. In the kitchen, I sagged against the counter. We hadn't even started and already I was exhausted. I caught sight of the refrigerator and smiled. It had always been covered in pictures of Lindsey, and her work from school. A lot of that was still up, but there were new pictures, too. Stepping forward, I focused on five photos from our trip to California.

The first was of the three girls during our day at the beach. Ayla and Maggie were burying Lindsey in wet sand. Ayla had just poured a whole bucket of the stuff over Lindsey's head and Lindsey's shocked expression was priceless. Maggie had fallen over from laughing. They were all so adorable in their little girl swimsuits. I had loved that day.

The second photo was of the girls and me all crowded onto one park bench, licking our ice creams. I was holding both mine and Sara's cones so that she could take the picture, but both were dripping badly. In fact, everyone's ice cream was dripping. Maggie, who was on my lap, selflessly offered to lick mine, because hers was in a cup and could not drip, which left me free to handle Sara's. Everyone's face was covered in sticky mess and we were all laughing.

The third picture was of just Lindsey and me. Maureen had taken it when we were watching the kids one day. We were on the wharf, with the water as our backdrop. Lindsey was sitting on the ledge and I was miming trying to push her over. She did a very good impersonation of someone who is terrified.

The next one was Lindsey, Sara, and Ayla on the lawn in front of the North Windmill at Golden Gate Park. I had wanted a nice picture with them standing and smiling, but it was not to be. First Lindsey and Ayla made goofy faces, then Sara tickled them to get them to smile, and then they ended up in a heap on the grass. In the photo, Sara has caught both girls up and is tickling a shrieking Ayla and bonking noses with a desperate to escape Lindsey.

The last picture was just Sara, and it was just her face in profile. I had taken it one day when we were on lunch break while cleaning Matt and Warren's house. She was flushed, her hair was up in a messy ponytail, and she was smirking at someone off camera- I think Lola had stuffed her dress with sandwich rolls or something like that. I smiled at her adorable little smirk.

I sighed as I put the iced tea in glasses on a tray. Yeah, this was hard. Yeah, juggling three kids, careers, and everything else was hard. But very little of all of that had anything to do with the fact that we were two women. And we were happy. It was hard, but we were happy. But how was I supposed to explain that to my mother? Glancing back at the photos, I got an idea and, unclipping them from the fridge, I tossed all five onto the tray along with the tea. Mom always was a bit of a visual learner.

I sat through exactly five minutes of tense small talk with my mother before I couldn't take it anymore. "Mom," I set down my glass, "we need to talk."

She looked at me like she was about to scold me for interrupting her scintillating conversation about the weather. "We do?"

"You know we do."

"What could we have to talk about?" Her eyes were wide with feigned innocence.

"Mom," I pinned her with my 'cut the crap' look, "I know you've been talking to Nancy."

"And?"

"And," deep breath, "I know that you know I'm dating a woman."

Her lips became a thin, thin line. Silence.

"Fine, you don't have to talk, but I'd appreciate it if you would listen." I paused and waited for her to say something, but she just looked off at the inanimate television. I sighed. "Mother, you've known about my sexuality for years, don't even try to deny it. I knew you had a problem with it, so I didn't push you. I kept all of my girlfriends separate from family life, and I tried not to let it affect our relationship. But it didn't matter then. And it didn't matter when I was married, just as it didn't matter when I was dating men. This is different."

"I suppose you want me to believe that this- this woman is somehow different?"

I saw her flinch at the word 'woman' and pushed my rising anger down. "She is different," I insisted. "This is serious, Mother. Whether my relationship with her is going to affect mine with you is entirely your decision. But I'm not about to keep her out of family life, if you want us out then you'll have to tell me."

Her eyes widened, "Us?"

"Yes, Mom, us." If she thought I was about to leave my girlfriend out of family reunions and barbecues and holidays, she had another thing coming. "You would never have asked me to leave Eddie at home even if we all knew he would get loud and drunk; you would never ask me to leave any boyfriend out of any occasion. My girlfriends should have always had the same right, and I'm fighting for this one."

She straightened her shoulders and got that look. It's the look I have unfortunately inherited and therefore recognize immediately whenever it shows itself. It's the 'I'll have the last word here' look, and it means business. "And I don't suppose that you've thought of anyone but yourself, have you, Cathy? What about Lindsey? Have you even thought about how this thing will be affecting my granddaughter?"

I almost laughed. That was one argument she would not win. "Thought about it? You must think I'm a pretty bad mother if you think I haven't deliberated over my daughter's well-being for hours on end. But guess what? It was practically her idea. She was telling all her friends that we were dating for weeks before it happened. She loves Sara and Sara is fantastic with her."

My mother came up short. "Sara? Sara that woman from work? That woman you went to San Francisco with?"

I gritted my teeth. "Yeah. That woman Why? Who did you think it was?"

"I'm sure I don't have any idea." She had gone back to not looking at me.

I sighed, "Here, Mom." I rifled through my pile of photos and handed her the one of just Lindsey and I.

"What's this?"

"It's Lindsey and me at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. We were there with a friend and her kids. You'd really like it, there's so much to do and to see. And the ocean is unbelievable, it's just gorgeous."

She sniffed. "I've never been a water person."

"You'd change your mind for this. I've never seen anything like it."

Her fingers ghosted over our faces in the photo. "You look like you're enjoying yourselves," she said softly, almost as if she wanted us to be having a bad time.

I nodded, "We were. We were having the best time. I haven't seen Lindsey so happy since Eddie died."

I watched my mother's face as she took in all of the meanings of this phrase. I was with her, with Sara, in San Francisco, and Lindsey was having a good time. I suddenly felt bad for my mother. This must be so hard for her to understand. All of her life she had believed one thing, and here I was, her own daughter, trying to prove her wrong. And I could see it in her eyes that she was trying, but it was hard. And I understood that. I didn't want to lose my mother. We didn't have the best relationship, but I loved her. Lindsey needed a grandmother and I wanted my mother in my life. But she had to make an effort here. I wasn't going to compromise on this one.

"Mom?" I asked softly, breaking her our of her reverie. She looked up at me, startled. "Here." I took the photo out of her hand and replaced it with the one that was just Sara. She looked up at me and then back down to the picture in her hands. "This is Sara." I watched and waited for her reaction.

My mother studied the photograph intently for several minutes. I think that after awhile she was just staring off into space, trying to come up with something to say. Finally, still not looking at me, she whispered, "She's quite pretty, isn't she?"

I couldn't help but smile my relief. Thank God. The hard part was over. "Yes, she is."

"She's quite a bit younger than you, too."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, she is."

"And her name is…Sara, right?"

I nodded. "Sara Sidle. She's thirty-two and she works at the lab. She's a CSI, level two."

"Where did she go to school?"

I smirked, "Harvard."

"Be serious."

I snorted, "I am being serious. She has degree in physics from Harvard. She's a genius."

"Has she ever been married? Didn't Nancy say something about two daughters?"

"No, she's never been married, but she does have two little girls. It's a bit complicated…"

So I launched into an explanation of Ayla and Maggie and how they came to be in Sara's life. By the time I finished, I think she felt so bad for the girls and for Sara that she had partly forgotten to be upset that I was dating a woman. That was when I showed her the pictures of the girls in California. I explained each one and what we had done that day. She thought the beach one was adorable. When she saw the one with me and the girls on the park bench, she frowned.

"What is it?"

"Cathy, are you sure you know what you're doing here? With these little girls, I mean. Dating is always hard when you have children, but dating someone else who also has children? Especially under these circumstances, you've got to be really careful. Her children could wind up getting attached to you and then what will happen when you break up? They've just lost their parents."

I sighed. "First of all, it's if we break up, not when. Second of all, Mother, I want them to get attached to me; they already are attached to me and I want them to get more attached to me. I love them and I love having them around here. And if Sara and I do break up, not that I think we will, I still want to be involved with their lives. I want them to feel comfortable around me and I want them to be able to come to me when they have a problem. I love them. I know how dangerous it is to risk a child's feelings. Don't you think I watched Eddie disappoint his daughter enough times to know that I never wanted that to be me? I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it was worth any and all of the risks, to me, Sara, or the girls."

Mutely, my mother nodded and looked down at the third photo, the one of Sara and the two older girls. She didn't say anything for a moment and I knew what she must be thinking.

"Mom, Sara is so good for Lindsey. She makes her laugh and take life less seriously. But she teaches her things too. And she's very responsible, she would never let anything happen to Linds- she's so careful. She's twice the parent Eddie was, she-"

Mother cut me off. "What did you say?"

"When?"

"Just now. You called this woman," she gestured with the photograph, "Lindsey's parent."

I blinked. Had I said that? I had. And I meant it. "Yes," I conceded, "I did."

"And how long have you been seeing her?"

"Two and half months, but-"
She cut me off again, "Don't you think you're rushing into things just a little too-"

"No!" That shut her up.

Mother stared at me, startled.

"No, Mom, we're not rushing into things. If anything we've been too cautious. If we didn't have the girls, who knows, Sara and I would probably be married and living together by now."

Her eyes bulged at this.

"As it is, we've been taking it pretty slow. If we were going the speed I'd like to go at, we would not be having this conversation. But we do have the girls and Lindsey needs a grandmother. That being said, Lindsey also needs two parents. Sara has been acting as second parent since Eddie died and she's done a beautiful job. It trust her completely in any and all matters concerning my daughter."

Mom looked extremely rattled. I think that up until this point, she thought that I was just dating Sara the way I had dated men after the divorce. Well, her eyes were wide open now. She coughed. "I see. And have you…hem, have you discussed this with…Sara? The legalities of what you just said, I mean."

I drew breath, "Not in detail, no, not yet. But the position is open if she wants it."

She just sat there, mouth agape.

"Look, Mom," I began. But my mother shifted her attention to the next photograph. I hadn't know there was a next photograph. It must have been hidden behind one of the others. Hearing my mother gasp, I looked down at the picture. I simultaneously winced and smiled.

We had given Lindsey control of the camera one day, thinking that she'd take pictures of Maggie or butterflies or the bay. We didn't even know she'd taken this one until we'd had the photos developed. She had caught Sara and I kissing with the Golden Gate Bridge and a perfect cloudless sky as a backdrop. Sara was holding me to her with an arm around my waist and a hand on the side of my head. Both of our eyes were closed and I was smiling. Not exactly an appropriate photo for the refrigerator, but Lindsey was so proud of how well it came out that we kept it up.

Looking at my mother's pale face, I was starting to wish we hadn't. Quickly, I snatched it from her hands, before she had a heart attack. "That one wasn't supposed to be in there, it must have sneaked in."

She stared at me. "You really like her, don't you?"

I sighed, "Yeah, Mom, I do. I love her. I'm in love with her. This is it for me, Mom. And that's why I'm talking to you about this. I love Sara and her girls just as much as I love Lindsey, and Nancy, and you. That's what I've been trying to tell you; they're my family, now. This isn't some fling that you can just dismiss. Sara is going to be in my life for a long time, and if I'm going to be in your life, then so is she."

"What do you mean if you're going to be in my life?" She looked horrorstruck.

"I told you. I won't keep Sara out of any part of my life. If you don't want her in your life, that's fine. But you can count me out, too. I won't keep you from seeing Lindsey, if she wants to see you, but I won't allow you to disrupt my family. You don't have to like that I'm with Sara, but you do have to respect that I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions."

"How can you just expect me to be okay with all of this? Jesus Christ, Catherine Ann, you just drop all of this on me and expect me to give you a hug and tell you I love you?"

I looked at her incredulously, "Happens everyday, Mom! People worldwide are coming out to their parents right now only to be hugged and loved. It's not the most outrageous thing that could happen."

"Well, I'm sorry if I need a minute."

We sat in silence for awhile, sipping our iced teas. Then, after what I had estimated to be about sixty seconds, just to be annoying, I said, "Loving your lesbian daughter now?"

She gave me a sardonic look and slapped my arm lightly, "Don't be fresh, Catherine, it's not attractive on a woman your age." We were silent for another minute. She seemed to be deep in thought, so I didn't disturb her. Finally, she sighed, put down her tea, and faced me.

"You always were the difficult one, you know. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it to be truthful. I always knew what I could expect from your sister. She was reliable, responsible, and predictable. She never ripped her clothes or snuck out of the house to go to midnight movies. Even if they weren't perfect, her grades were steady. You, on the other hand, your grades were so inconsistent. Straight A's one semester, C's and D's the next. You never could just coast along in the middle. You've got this fire and I know you've heard it before."

"Sam Braun says I get it from you."

She shook her head, "Maybe you get some of it from me, but you've got ten times as much as I ever did. It fills you up, Cathy, and it overflows. And it never seems to run out. Everyone just loves it, they're drawn to it; drawn to you, like a moth to a flame. I saw it when you were growing up, everyone told me you'd settle down." She shook her head again, "But I knew you never would. And then you surprised me." She tapped a hot pink fingernail on Lindsey's photo. "When Lindsey came along, you started to take life seriously. I know you sometimes wish that you were free and running again, but for the most part, I think you're happy with your life." She half smiled at me, "I do love you, Cathy. You're my daughter, my first-born, and I will always love you. It's just…you scare me sometimes. You've never cared what anybody thinks. You have this life force that is so strong. And I've had to watch so many times as you lose control of it." She patted my arm.

For my part, I had no idea where this conversation was going. She had touched on all of my best and worst qualities in just a few sentences. She had said she loved me, but there had been a 'but' attached to it. Speaking of fires, there was one starting to burn in my chest and she needed to hurry the hell up and get to her point, preferably with as few insults to my ego as possible, before it exploded.

"You have this great capacity for love, Catherine. And I've watched it bring you happiness and pain. You deserve the happiness. I just don't want this to be one of those things you haven't thought through that comes back to bite you."

"Mom, I've thought this through, believe me. I've done so much thinking I my brain is fried. I'm not taking any steps without looking where my put my foot. Sara and I-"

She held up a hand, "That's fine, I believe you." She sighed. "Honey, I'd be lying if I said I understood what you're doing here. I don't understand, and I don't think I ever will."

I tried to interrupt but she stopped me.

"That being said, I do love you and I do love my granddaughter. If this woman-"

"Sara."

She nodded and took the hint, "If Sara and these two little girls make you happy, then I have no choice but to support you."

I beamed.

"Don't expect too much at first, I'm not taking the woman out for pedicures or anything."

I threw my arms around her neck, "She wouldn't go anyway." I felt her arms wrap around me and suddenly I was crying. I don't think I'd realized how much I needed my mother's approval until I had it.

"All I'm saying is, I can be hospitable to her and I certainly won't begrudge the children. That's about all I can promise for now. I need time."

I nodded into her silk blouse, undoubtedly getting mascara on the collar.

An hour later, I had shown her all of the pictures on the fridge, and she was leaning against the counter while I started pulling out the ingredients for Chinese night. When I heard an SUV pull into the driveway, and the subsequent racket of three very hyper children, I looked to my mother to see if she could handle it. She held up her hands as if to say she could play nice. I removed my apron and went out into the hall, just as the door swung open.

"Cafrin!" Maggie's voice rang out as she catapulted past the others and threw her arms around my knees.

I bent down to kiss her head, "Hey, sweet pea, d'ya have fun?"

"Ya, dude!" She bashed her head against my knee.

I sent a questioning smile up at a tired-looking Sara, "Dude?"

"It's from the movie."

"Dude!" Came a chorus of agreeing little girl voices. Ayla and Lindsey conked their heads together and came back frowning and rubbing.

"Hey, Catherine, did you know that the Anglerfish live thousands of feet down in the ocean?" Ayla opened a tall book to a page with a really creepy looking fish on it.

"No, show her the page with the great white shark!" Lindsey said over the younger girl's shoulder.

"No!" Maggie turned away from me and back toward the book. "Sea turtles!"

I waded through the tangles of little girls and over to my big girl. I smiled at up at her. "Have a good day?"

"Mhm." She put her arms around me and gave me a quick…okay not so quick kiss. "Missed you though."

"What's with the book?"

She shrugged, "Oceanography and marine biology are fascinating subjects. I figured it was an easy way to integrate education with imagination; see a movie about fish, buy a book about fish. Or you know," she held up a bag in evidence, "six books." She grinned at me.

I shook my head at her and kissed her again.

A coughing sound came from down the hallway and Sara and I leapt apart. I looked over to see my mother walking towards us from the kitchen. I coughed, "Mom, hey. Umm…" Okay, awkward. "Mom, I'd like you to meet…my girlfriend, Sara Sidle. Sara, this is my mother, Lily Flynn."

I held my breath as they sized each other up. Sara blinked first.

"Mrs. Flynn," she extended a hand, "it's nice to finally meet you."

I gave an inward sigh of relief as my mother returned the handshake and managed an almost real smile, "You, too, dear. And please, call me Lily."

Sara nodded.

"Who are you?" We all looked down to see Maggie tugging on Mom's shirt front. "Are you Cafrin's mommy? Have you seen Finding Nemo? You should see it, it's the best movie ever!"

Mom smiled, Maggie made everyone smile. "I am Catherine's mommy, my name is Lily."

"Lily?"

"Uh-huh."

"My name is Magnolia Helena Holzman-Winger and I'm three years old."

"But everybody calls you Maggie, right?"

"Maggie, Maggie, Maggie," the little girl agreed.

Mom didn't stay for dinner that night, it would have been asking a little much of her, I think. But she did shake Sara's hand again as she left and she had fallen in love with the girls, especially Maggie, who shared her flare for the dramatic. I thanked her and hugged her as she left, and she did concede that Sara was stably employed and well-mannered, which was more than she could say for my other 'attempts'. And with that back handed compliment, she was out the door.

As I moved back towards the kitchen, I had to remind myself that things could be a hell of a lot worse. This day had gone as well as could possibly have been expected, if not the way I wanted. And Nancy had been great as well. So the family knew and they were still alive. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief that that part was over. Now we just had to deal with work. And Gil.

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There. So, whadya think? Feeeed me feeeedback! I want it, I need it to survive!!!