A/N: Okay, so there's good news, and there's bad news. The good news is: here's your new chapter! Hooray! The bad news is that I'm leaving for a month-long holiday to Australia where I will not have my laptop. I'm trying to finish off one more post before I leave. I wanted to have enough done so I could post while I was away, but I've had a bit of a block all week. So, this my be it for awhile. At least it's not a cliffhanger. Sorry! I love you guys, thanks for the reviews!

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Gil had been tense at work lately, ever since I had returned from California the first time, in fact. Not so much that you'd notice, just little things. He wasn't making eye contact anymore than necessary. He kept his responses to one word whenever possible. And he was isolating himself in his office more and more. It worried me, but it was low on my list of priorities at that moment. I had this little thing called a life, my life, that I was pretty damn worried about.

But I had my suspicions as to what might be wrong. Following the vein of my theory that he still felt something for Sara, I realized that the beginning of his melancholy more or less exactly coincided with our arrival in San Francisco. So it definitely had something to do with Sara. And the more I thought about it, I knew it had to do with me too. At first I thought that maybe her had figured us out, but quickly dismissed that thought. He would have said something. The only thing I could think of was that he thought I'd replaced him as her confidant, which, let's face it, I had.

So he was jealous of me for becoming the person Sara runs to. He was angry at himself for passing up the chance to have her when he had it. And he was still pining after one Sara Sidle. My hypothesis explained all of his behavior perfectly. Unfortunately, it also made what Sara and I were about to do a hell of a lot more difficult. As if it weren't already difficult enough.

Sara and I both cared a lot for the man. He had been my mentor and my friend for going on fifteen years. He was also Sara's mentor and there had, at one time, been the possibility of a romance between them. Not to say I wasn't jealous, because I was. But the fact that Sara was with me and not him, helped me overcome that quite a bit He didn't get to wake up in the afternoon and walk down stairs to see Sara teaching a three year-old Monopoly. He didn't know that Sara was the best pillow for watching movies on. He had no idea what it was like to be pressed up against her, gasping for breath, staring into her eyes. I did.

So she had had a crush on him once, so he was probably still in love with her. She was in love with me. And that's all that mattered. Still, Sara looked up to the man, she respected him as a person and as a scientist, and I knew how desperately she sought after his good opinion. And here we were, about to crush his dreams.

I had invited Gil out for breakfast, telling him that what I wanted to talk about was really important and couldn't wait until the next shift. And that was true, this couldn't wait, not if we wanted to tell the boys tomorrow and hopefully change our schedules a bit. So now, Sara and I were parked in the furthest back row from the restaurant, watching Gil disappear into the building. Sara's hand was shaking in mine. I squeezed it tighter.

Deep breath. "Okay, we can do this."

"Yeah," she said uneasily, "no problem. 'Gil, I hope you don't mind, but your best friend and protégé have been dating for nearly three months, they're in love, and they'd like sliding hours so they can take better care of their kids.' Yeah, I think he'll take it really well."

I smirked slightly at her nervous sarcasm, but I knew she needed reassurance. "Babe?" I wrapped her hand in both of mine. "We always knew this was going to be hard. But we also knew we'd have to do it eventually. And we've waited long enough. Now, I know you're afraid-" She shot me a look and I changed my word. "-nervous. But we can do this. We have every right to love each other and he can't stop that. It might take him a while to get used to it, but he will. We just have to brave the storm until then."

"I know. This was never going to be easy. I just wish it wasn't so damn hard. He's my friend, Cath. And I don't know how he's going to react but I seriously doubt he's going to welcome us with open arms. I don't want to hurt him, but there's no way around it. I hate that." She looked positively green at this point.

I patted her hand, "This will be okay, Sara. Maybe not right away, but if we're ever going to move forward in this relationship, we have to tell him. Unless…" I hesitated because I didn't like this option, "do you want me to do this on my own." I would do it alone if she really didn't think she could face him, but I liked the idea of going in there alone about as much as I liked the idea of going in there naked. If it made Sara happy, though…

But she shook her head vehemently and I sighed my relief, "No, I'm coming with you. We're in this together, it involves both of us, we'll both tell him. I just…I think I need another minute."

"Okay, one more minute." So we sat in silence for a full sixty seconds, me stroking Sara's hand with my thumb. "So? You ready?"

She inhaled laboriously and nodded, "Why not? Let's get this over with."

I leaned over and kissed her deeply. It was clumsy at first, until her brain decided to join the party, but then we slipped into an easy, flowing rhythm and it took several minutes for each of us to regain our breath.

Sara opened her eyes and kissed me one more time, sweetly. "What was that for?" She was smiling.

I smiled back, "Love and luck. I don't know if you know, but I love you, Ms. Sidle."

Her eyes sparkled, "Why, that's mighty convenient, Ms. Willows, because I happen to love you, too."

"Oh, good."

"Shall we?"

"One sec." I reached over her into the glove compartment and handed her a napkin.

"What's this for?"

I laughed, "Well, I don't think we'd have much to explain if you walked in wearing my lipstick."

She slapped my arm, smiling.

We got out of the car and walked toward the restaurant. We couldn't hold hands, in case Gil had gotten us a table by the window, but we walked as close as we could without raising suspicion. As she held the door open for me I whispered, "We can still turn back, you know."

She shook her head, but she looked a little ashen. She squared her shoulders, clenched her jaw, and stared determinedly off into the distance.

Standing in front of her, I reached back and squeezed her hand tightly once. Time to do this.

As we made our way toward the table, Gil looked up over his menu, frowning, "Sara?" he asked.

I answered since I didn't think Sara was up for it, "Sara's involved in what I need to talk to you about."

This seemed to be answer enough for the moment because he resumed his menu searching as we slid into the opposite side of the booth and did the same. Small talk about work and life lasted until the food came. I don't know if Gil was hesitant to intrude upon our wary silence, or if he simply didn't notice.

"Sara, did you read that journal on new hair root analysis techniques I gave you?" Grissom sipped his water.

Sara was on edge, "Uh…haven't finished it yet. Part way through it though, you're right about the new tox panel methods. Really fascinating."

Gil nodded, "Catherine, how is Lindsey enjoying her summer?"

I glanced at Sara out of the corner of my eye, "Great. She's having a great time. She spends most of the day with Sara's girls, making up games, having lemonade stands. I took all of them to the wave pool at Mandalay Bay last week. That was a lot of fun."

Gil looked at Sara, "That's right, we haven't met these girls yet. Are you going to bring them in someday? Didn't you say one likes science?"

Sara put down her water, "Yeah, Ayla. Mostly astronomy, but she has a new thing for marine biology. It might be awhile before I bring them in, though. Ayla is really shy around new people and I don't want to overwhelm her with everyone at the lab."

At that moment, the waitress returned with our food and the table went quiet. When the waitress had gone and we had begun eating, Gil looked over the tops of his glasses at us. "So what was it you two needed to talk about that couldn't wait until tonight?"

I glanced at Sara. She had gone quite white and looked as if she were trying very hard not throw up. I put down my fork and took a sip of coffee, "Well, Gil…here's the thing. The thing is…umm…the thing is…aah…" I dropped a hand underneath the table and placed it on Sara's knee. Help! She looked at me, took a deep breath, and a bit of color seemed to come back into her face and she nodded. This was it.

This was it and I was suddenly a nervous wreck. My sister? What had I really expected but her reluctant support? My mother? True, I had been prepared for disownment, but passive aggressive judgment is much more her style. And the boys? Well, maybe there would be some unexpected prejudice on that front, but I was expecting reactions along the lines of complete and utter shock. Gil, though…I didn't know what to expect. And I could pretend that I was self-righteous and angry with a sort of 'take me or leave me, because frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn' type attitude. But that would be an insane lie.

The truth was, I wanted Gil's approval. I knew how likely it was we were about to get it, and I wanted it anyway. Maybe I didn't crave it the way Sara did. After all, Gil was not the only man I had ever loved or respected. Sara saw him as a role model where I saw him as an equal and a friend. But a dear friend, a friend that changed my life, saved it even, if that's not too cliché. He was the one who held me as I cried when I left Eddie. He sat next to me in my dressing room, got no sleep next to me, as I studied and reviewed for finals between sets. He was the first person to support me and tell me I was more than just a pretty face. And what we were about to tell him was going to change our relationship for the rest of our lives.

A part of me wanted to stop and not tell him. A part of me didn't want to know what his reaction would be because I knew I couldn't deal with rejection, hurting a friend, losing a friend, and being disappointed in the man I always held to have the highest moral fiber of anyone I knew. Not all in one day.

And a big part of me did want to tell him. For several reasons. There was that twisted little part of me that wanted to brag and boast and show off the love of my life. So that after all these months of silence I could finally say 'I won, I won!' But that was just a small part. More than that, I thought Gil deserved to know. For all the aforementioned reasons, he was our friend and no matter how you chose to spin it, we were deceiving him. And that's what it came down to. That, and the fact we needed more leeway at work, and the masochistic part of me that really just wanted to see what would happen. So? I squeezed Sara's leg. Go.

"Grissom, what Catherine is trying to say is that she and I got a lot umm…closer when we were in San Francisco." She took my hand in hers, resting them on the seat between us. We held our breath.

"I'd noticed," he was watching his bacon, "You've obviously become very…" a light went on and he looked up and back and forth between our hesitant expressions, eyes round. "Wait…how close?"

I pursed my lips and tightened my grip on Sara as I met his eyes, "Really close, Gil."

He stared at me for a long moment, apparently not able to process what I was telling him. "And when you say really close, you mean…"

"I mean really, really close."

"We're dating, Grissom." Sara brought our joined hands up and set them on the table in plain view.

I shook my head at her and fought a smile. It was nerves more than anything that made her so blunt. Sara tells it like it is, she doesn't make things flowery and covered in frosting. Sometimes she loses tact altogether. But it's only when she's truly scared, I've learned, that she gets like this. Her brain freezes and she puts everything out there before she loses her nerve. I covered my mouth with my free hand. I thought it was really cute, if somewhat inconvenient.

Gil was staring at Sara, at me, at our hands holding tight, and then down at his plate. He picked up his coffee and took a sip. He picked up a knife and began meticulously spreading cream cheese on his bagel. He concentrated so hard on the task that after three silent minutes he had spread a perfectly even, thin layer. And when he was done, he started in on the other side. I looked at Sara, a bit worried. She shook her head as if to say she didn't know what was going on.

"Gil?" I ventured.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked quietly, "Since San Francisco?" His focus had still not left his bagel.

We both nodded.

"That has to be three months."

"Just about." I agreed.

"And when were you planning on telling me?" He sounded remarkably calm.

"We wanted some time to ourselves," Sara said softly, "if you can understand that. Time to be together, time to organize our lives, the girls' lives."

"So, why tell me now?"

Sara and I exchanged glances and I spoke, "Having to hide our relationship is adding a lot of stress to our lives. It's become a lot more trouble than it's worth. We wanted to tell you first." I had seen him flinch a the word 'relationship.' "Also, we wanted to talk to you about some scheduling problems and it didn't seem fair to keep lying to you."

"Hmm."

"Umm…Gil?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to say anything?"

"Other than 'you're not fired?' No. Not at the moment."

"Grissom?" Sara's voice had gone faint.

He shook his head, "Sara, I'm going to need more than five minutes to swallow this. I don't know what to say. Can we please just finish our meals so that I can have a bit of peace in which to think?"

So we ate. We sat there for fifteen painful minutes in absolute silence, and we ate. I don't know what Sara was thinking, but my thoughts never left the man across from me. When we were finished, and the check had been split three ways, Gil stood up, leaving a couple of dollar bills on the table. Sara and I slid out of the booth and followed suit. There was a silent walk out to the parking lot, where Gil stopped in front of his car and turned to face us. He eyed our joined hands thoughtfully.

"Victor Frankl once said, 'When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.'"

Sara snorted, and for the first time that morning, I could sense hostility in her body language. "Charles Darwin said, 'It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.'"

Grissom nodded once in concession and gave us a grim, tight-lipped smile. "I don't know how to react to this." He pointed between us and then waved a hand in surrender, "I'm sorry. I do appreciate you telling me. Give me time to formulate a response? We'll talk about that scheduling situation tonight, if that's alright with you. I need to get going." He nodded again and waved, leaving Sara and I alone in the lot. That was it. No speech, no outburst, no angry words. Just 'I don't know how to react to this.' And a quote. An outburst would have almost been easier to swallow. This…I didn't know what to make of this. It certainly was not a smile and a pat on the back.

That night, like many nights that would follow, Gil treated us with a cool professionalism that was quite a shock compared to what we were used to. He still treated us as competent, accomplished CSIs, but that's all he treated us as. No friendly banter, no extra help on cases unless it was expressly asked for, no teasing remarks. I didn't like this new side to my friend, but I didn't want to push him. So I let him be, for the time being.

As for our schedules, in exchange for working half-shifts on our on call nights we were granted sliding hours in the mornings and afternoons. Essentially what that meant was that unless there was an emergency, as long as we clocked the same number of hours, and as long as we let Gil know, we could clock in and leave when we wanted. It was the same system that the part-time non-field workers like lab techs or accountants worked on.

Gil was very accommodating and understanding, but he was distant. For some reason, his semi-rejection was almost harder to take than my mother's. I did feel bad that we had hurt his feelings, but he had had several opportunities to go after Sara, and he had made it perfectly clear that he had no intention of doing anything whatsoever. I missed Gil. But I loved Sara. If I had to lose him to keep her…it would hurt, but I was willing.

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It ended up being three days before Sara could face the guys. It wasn't that she was afraid of what their reactions would be, but we needed that much time to recover from our experience with Gil. Really all it was, was telling Nick and Greg, since Warrick already knew. That didn't make it any easier, though. Once again, we were meeting for breakfast, this time at my house. Warrick was coming over for moral support.

Sara had come home with me, and it was a big scene in the kitchen. You could never just make pancakes without all of the girls wanting to 'help.' Lindsey was getting old enough to actually be productive, and Ayla was a very cautious measurer, but Maggie…Maggie inevitably got covered in flour anytime it was used in the kitchen. So this was how the boys found us; laughing, screeching, and swimming in flour.

This was Nick and Greg's first real time meeting the girls, and they were enchanted. They knew Lindsey, of course, but Ayla and Maggie were new to them. Maggie, the social butterfly was very soon bouncing on Nick's knee, laughing away. Ayla on the other hand, was her shy, sweet self. Lindsey took care of that.

"Ayla, meet Greg, he's a scientist. Like you."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"What's he do?"

"Umm…I have no idea. Greg, what do you do?"

"Well right now, I'm a DNA technician, but I'm training to become a CSI like your Mom."

And therein lay the mystery for Ayla, "What's DNA?"

We ate breakfast out on the patio, laughing and joking with the kids. Then, when the girls had excused themselves to go play, Warrick tapped my shoulder lightly. He gave me a look that said 'it's time, get a move on already.' I looked to Sara who looked to Warrick and back to me before nodding.

"Hey, guys…" Everyone turned their attention on me. Sara, sitting across the table, smiled her encouragement. I coughed, "Well, I invited you guys here today, actually, Sara and I invited you because we wanted to talk to you about something that's kind of important."

Greg cut in, "Are you guys switching to day shift or something?"

"No."

"Neither of you is moving, right?" Nick wanted to know.

"No."

"Is one of you-" Greg began.

"Hey," Warrick stepped in, "let the lady talk."

I smiled at him. "Here's the thing."

"We're dating." Sara blurted out.

I cocked my head to one side and gave her my best 'what the hell?' expression. Once again, her nerves had possessed her body.

She ducked her head apologetically, "Sorry. It just…slipped out." I shook my head in disbelief, but I was smiling.

The table was oddly quiet.

Greg spoke first, "You're dating?" He looked back and forth between us, "Each other?"

I snorted, "No, Greg. I've met this great guy named Tom and he has a brother named Ted who's really into Sara. Thought you'd like to know." Seeing that he looked a little hurt I sighed, "Yes, Greg. Sara is dating me, I'm dating Sara. We've been seeing each other for three months," I smiled at my girlfriend, "and we aren't planning on breaking up. You're our friends, and we thought you deserved to know."

Silence.

"So…" Nick began, "you guys are…this is serious, you guys are in love with each other?"

Sara bristled, "Yes, we are. This is very serious."

Nick held up his hands, "I was just checking. It's a bit of shock, you know?"

"Not really," Greg argued, "Not if you think about it. I mean they've been spending a ton of time with each other and they're much more touchy-feely than they ever used to be. It kind of fits." He smiled, self-satisfied.

Nick turned to Warrick, "You're awfully quiet."

"Yeah, well…" Warrick glanced at me and Nick caught on.

"Dude, you knew? So not cool."

Warrick held out his hands, "I was sworn to secrecy."

"You could have trusted me."

"Or me. It's the kind of thing we like to know."

I watched Sara smile. This was going to be okay. Sure, they seemed a bit shell shocked, but they were still here, and they were still talking to us.

"This is pretty crazy," Greg was saying, "inter-office dating." His face fell. "Does Grissom know?"

Oh, does he know. "Yeah," Sara said, chagrined. "Yeah, he knows."

Nick nodded, "That explains why he shouted at me over using the wrong printer paper yesterday. This has got to be rough on him."

"He didn't take it too well." Sara said. That was one way of putting it.

"He was an ass," I translated.

Warrick patted my shoulder.

"That sucks, but you do have to look at it from his perspective, I mean the guy's being seriously double teamed."

"What?" I asked.

"Nick's kind of right, the man's on the wrong end of a full court press."

"And that means?"

"It means we cornered him, though I don't see how." Sara shrugged.

Warrick raised his eyebrows, "How would you like to come home to find your wife and mistress in bed together?"

Greg nodded and Nick waved a hand at Warrick, "Exactly."

"What?" Sorry, run that one by me again?

Warrick sighed. "Look, you've got to think about this like a guy."

"No thanks." I passed.

"Well, just listen then. Women friends to guys are just girlfriends on hold. You can't sleep with them yet. For Grissom, you two were like his greatest potentials. If there was ever a right time to pursue a relationship, in his mind, the two of you were always there."

"Yeah," Greg put in, "and now he loses both chances in one second. And to each other. That's just brutal. In his brain it's like he waited too long and now he's missed his chance."

"He did miss his chance." Sara argued.

I snorted, "Not with me he didn't. He never had a chance with me; way too much of a geek."

Sara looked at me.

"It's much sexier on you babe, no worries." I grinned.

"The point," Nick said, "is that what you've done to him, it's a serious blow to his ego. It would be nicer to go up an kick him in the balls everyday for a month."

"Maybe two." Greg nodded.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, "Men."

I got up then to clear the plates and when I came back, Sara was talking. I stood behind her chair, hand resting on her shoulder, listening "…so you guys are really okay with all of this?"

"Sure." Greg said, "I mean, I don't think it's really sunk in yet, but I'm not weirded out or anything."

"Ditto. It's just gonna take some time to get used to this, but I'm here for you, girls."

I don't know why, but suddenly, hearing that, I fell apart. All week I had put on a brave face for Sara and the girls, but my mother's and Gil's, and to some extent my sister's reaction to this relationship had been eating away at me. And now this easy acceptance from our friends filled me with such strong relief, I just couldn't keep the brave face anymore. I started to cry.

Sara looked up at me, startled, "Catherine? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, "Nothing."

She immediately stood and put an arm around my waist. I steadied myself with a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?" she asked again.

I waved a hand at the boys. "I just can't believe it was that easy. After everything this week, I was just so sure…"

She nodded, "I know."

"Hey, give us a little credit."

"Yeah, it's not like either of us had a shot to begin with, so nothing has really changed. You're still unavailable."

Nick nodded his agreement and I gave a snuffley laugh and smiled at them, "Thank you."

So now everybody knew, at least everybody that mattered. And it had gone over with mixed results. I was grateful for the support from the boys, that had come as a big relief. I had mixed feelings about my family's reactions. On the one hand, I was happy that they were trying. On the other hand, a little voice in my head said that they were my family and they were supposed love me and support me no matter what.

I was disappointed with Gil's reaction. I hadn't expected him to be happy about Sara and I, but this withdrawal into himself was just a bit more than I could handle. Maybe the boys were right, maybe we had injured his manly pride. I never even knew he had any, but I suppose he must've. Perhaps when his ego had recovered, things would get better. I couldn't help but feel, though, that things were never going to be as they were and I was saddened by that. Gil had been one of my greatest friends and he was slipping away from me.

But I did have Sara, and a sick little part of me felt triumphant over that fact. I had Sara, Sara loved me, Sara was with me. After the guys left, we spent the morning with the girls, watching them swim and playing silly made-up games. After lunch, I went to sleep and Sara, who had the night off, stayed with the girls. When I woke up it was to three girls bouncing on the bed.

"Dinner is ready! Dinner is ready!"

I looked to Sara who was leaning in the doorway. She shrugged, "I tried to stop them." But her smile told me she was lying.

I stretched and yawned, "Well, I think I need a cuddle before I can go anywhere." Ayla collapsed directly on top of me with Lindsey on her and then Maggie on my side with her arms around my neck. I laughed. "Where's my other girl?"

"Sara, come on!" Ayla chastised.

"I've got pasta boiling," she tried to get out of it.

"Just for a second, Sara." This was Lindsey.

"No, I really should-"

"Sara Sidle get your behind over here!" This made all the girls giggle, but it got the job done.

"Fine," she argued, walking over, "but you deal with consequences if the kitchen catches fire." She sat on the edge of the bed.

"Deal."

As she managed to pull all four of us into her arms, I smiled peacefully. I had Sara.

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It took about two weeks after we had told everyone for me to realize that our schedule for the girls wasn't working. Yes, splitting their time between Sara's apartment and the house saved time, but it was also disrupting their lives once a week to cart them and all their stuff to another location. It was almost worse than the plan we'd had before. And with school starting up again in a little under three weeks, we needed to make sure that the girls had a stable environment to come home to. This left us with only one option as far as I could see.

On the one hand, moving in with Sara seemed like a bit of a leap, but on the other hand, it didn't seem that weird at all. Sure, we'd only been dating for three months, but so what? I wanted to be with Sara as much as I possibly could. I wanted to have more of a hand in Ayla and Maggie's life. I wanted Sara to play more of a role in Lindsey's. I wanted to be able to spend more time with all of my girls together.

If we didn't have kids, no one would say we were rushing things. Hell, we lived in Vegas, where you only had to know somebody for ten minutes before you married them. My sister had met and married her husband and gotten pregnant in the time Sara and I had been together. And they had been together for twelve years and were about to have another baby. So, why not? We were responsible adults, we wouldn't rush into this if it was the wrong thing to do.

So while the girls were busy swinging in the hammock one afternoon, and we were standing with her arms around me, I whispered up at her. "Move in with me, with us."

"What?" Her eyes widened. Obviously that had not been what she was expecting me to say.

"Move in with us. I want you and the girls to move in with Lindsey and me."

Sara was silent for a long moment, holding me tight. "Why?"

I sighed and turned in her arms, "Because what we're doing here is crazy. The girls need to be living together and so do we." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss her, "I love you; I want to share my life with you. And…families should be together."

Her breath hitched and I saw her mouth the word, 'family.' "You think we're a family?"

I smiled at her hesitance and kissed her again, "I think we're getting there. I know I want us to be. I want you to be my family, Sara. You and the girls."

Her eyes were wet and she swallowed, overcome with emotion. In a moment, she had her face buried in my neck and her chest was contracting sharply with half-formed, silent sobs. I ran a hand over her hair and laughed quietly into her ear.

"What did you think, honey?" I kissed her temple, "That I only wanted you for nights and weekends?" I shook my head, "Honey, I want to be with you all the time, always. Always and always." We rocked back and forth, "Okay, sweetheart?"

She stood up and nodded, wiping her tears. "Okay." I touched her face and smiled. She smiled in return and her lips descended on mine.

"Sara and Mommy sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

I smiled into Sara's lips and pulled away to see my daughter giggling like mad on the other side of the yard. I turned back to Sara. "Is that a 'yes' then?"

She grinned, "I'd say that's a definite yes." She started kissing me anew to choruses of 'Eww!'s and laughter. When we pulled apart and my head was resting on her shoulder, I chuckled. "What?"

I shook my head and whispered, "Sara and Mommy sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

She laughed.

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I still have four days before I leave, who knows what more reviews could inspire me to do…