A/N: See? I told you faster updates. Someone won my guessing contest but I can't tell you who it is (but you'll know who you are), I don't want to spoil the surprise.

harassedbytheFBI: Sorry to disappoint you, but this is a very fluffy fic. And the fluff will just keep coming. There's one more dramatic thing, but it's a ways off. Stick around though, I hope you like it anyway.

That's right, it's fluff from here on out, folks. It's unrealistic, it's poorly written, and it may make you sick to your stomach. No real conflict. What. So. Ever. But some of you have been waiting for fluff- well here you go.

Go forth! Read! Review!

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I watched Sara read a book with one hand as she pushed Maggie steadily in the swing. God. I could never get over how beautiful she was. Those long legs, her shoulders, her arms. Her. She looked up from her book as if she could feel me watching her. She winked at me and grinned before returning to her book.

"Wow." Sidney laughed at me. "You are so whipped."

I could only smile, "Yep."

It had been Lindsey's idea to meet up with her friend Olivia and her two moms at the park. She said she read in an article about families with gay parents that it was good to show kids that they were part of a normal family. Jesus. I think Sara laughed for an hour after she told us that while my reaction was just to turn bright red and go do laundry.

In the end though, it turned out to be a great idea. Mercedes and Sidney were really great and Olivia was a sweetheart. They also had an eighteen-month-old little boy, Grayson. He was adorable. Lindsey and Ayla were infatuated with him. They and Olivia were busy taking him down the slide and through the jungle gym.

"You know he is just a doll," I said. I love babies.

Sidney smiled with pride, "I know. He is quite the charmer. I take him to work with me a lot and everyone just falls in love with his big grin. I'm so glad I get to be a part of this for him. I missed it with Olivia, you know…"

"Really, why?"

"Because I didn't meet Mercedes until Olivia was almost three. Mercedes was actually with another woman, Sandy," I didn't miss the sneer when the name crossed her lips, "her supposed life partner."

"You don't sound like you're a fan."

"Oh, I'm not. Sandy was abusive, verbally anyway, I think maybe physically too, but Sadie has never said anything. Frankly, it doesn't make much difference to me. If she ever comes near my family, I'll kill her either way. She gave up all parental rights when Liv was six months old, just left one day. She sent papers a few months later saying she relinquished all rights. I know there was nothing I could do, but I hate thinking about the two years that Sadie had to do this alone."

I nodded my understanding, "It's not easy to do it alone."

"You sound like you know."

I looked at her, surprised, "I do. I mean, Eddie didn't technically run off and leave us, but he sure as hell wasn't there for Linds when he was alive. Even before the divorce."

"Wow. Sorry, you and Sara just seem like such good moms, I figured that you'd been together forever. So what happened? You divorced, met Sara, had the two girls and lived happily every after?"

"What? No, Sara and I have only been together for eight months. I thought you knew."

"Seriously? That's it? But you're so…well adjusted." Sidney looked out at Sara and back at me doubtfully.

"Yeah, well, we sort of had to be, you know? With three kids…we're just not young enough to take things that slowly, and we wouldn't just be risking our own happiness if we messed this up. We had known each other for three years before, anyway. Actually, we pretty much hated each other for the first two…"

"Really? It sounds like a good story."

I smiled, "I guess it is…"

So I launched in to tell her about how Sara and I fought, and then about Eddie's murder and how good Sara was for Linds. And then I told her about last year, about Matt and Warren, about falling in love with Sara and finding out she loved me too. And how everything just fell into place. How five months ago Sara and the girls had moved in with Linds and me, now making us cramped but happy. And how Sara had legally adopted Lindsey two months ago and we were making the arrangements for me to formally adopt Ayla and Maggie.

I included little anecdotes. I told her about the day after the girls had convinced Sara to buy them a trampoline and had discovered they could jump from it into the pool; I had been so adamant that it was dangerous but Sara had completely undermined me and jumped in right along with them. She had been so cute all wet like that that I relented and was soon bouncing along too.

"That's an amazing story." Sidney said when I was done.

I watched the three older girls returning from the snow cone stand, laughing. I smiled at Ayla trying so hard to be grown up with the eleven year-olds. And then I caught sight of Mercedes, swinging Maggie around on the whirly-go-round. I looked for Sara and found her lying in the grass with Grayson, tickling him to the ground. His shrill giggles made me smile. And Sara thought she wasn't good with babies.

"You want another one," Sidney observed, pointing to Grayson. It wasn't a question.

I frowned. How was I supposed to respond to that? I watched Sara lift the baby into the air and I smiled. It was true, I had thought about a baby on more than one occasion. In fact the idea had been in my head since almost as soon as we got together. But it was never going to happen right? We already had three kids and Sara would never be interested.

"I don't know," I said, creasing my brow, "A part of me does. Maybe a big part. Sara has never raised a baby. It's a wonderful experience and I don't want her to miss out on it. And I love the idea of having a baby with Sara. You know, do the whole thing right this time? Get baby books and go to those 'mommy and me' classes. Have someone there beside me that shared half the load and all of that. But we have three already, three really great ones. And I'm getting older. It's not safe for me to give birth anymore, really- Sara would have to do it. And we only just got settled and a baby would change everything and if we waited much longer I'd be more than sixty when a baby got out of high school. I just don't think it's going to happen."

"Well, I'm forty." Sidney argued. "And I gave birth to Grayson. Besides, Sara might want to have a baby, have you asked her?"

"No." I admitted. "We're not even married or anything."

"Well, technically no one gay in Nevada is. But you've adopted each other's children. Sorry, but nothing says 'I want you in my life forever' more than that. Besides, Lindsey thinks of you as married."

"What?"

"I heard her call Sara by her first name today, but when she's at school, Mercedes says she call you both her moms. 'My moms are picking me up today- we're going for ice cream with my sisters.' That's why I just figured you guys had been together forever."

"My Lindsey said that?" I could feel tears well up in my eyes.

Sidney nodded, "I've got to say, for only eight months, you guys have created quite the tight knit family. Linds loves those little girls and they love her."

I watched as Maggie leapt from the slide onto Lindsey's back, screaming, "Piggy back, Lindsey!"

I laughed, "Yeah, they're pretty wonderful."

"You know, I thought when I asked Mercedes for a baby I was being so selfish. Olivia was nearly ten years old and I just figured Sadie would want to be done, was sure she wouldn't want another ten years of carpools and college funds tacked onto that. But then we had my baby niece come to stay and everything I thought about having a baby just tumbled out one night. And it turned out that Sadie had wanted to ask me for years but didn't want to upset my job. You should talk to Sara about a baby. I know it sounds soon. But if you never ask, you'll never know."

I nodded, "Maybe you're right." But I knew how that conversation would turn out, and I had no intention of asking.

"I am."

A minute later, Sara came over to us, bouncing Grayson joyfully on one hip. "Hey, ladies." Sara leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, "How's my goddess this afternoon?" she whispered, but Sidney heard anyway and laughed.

"Basking." I replied with a smirk, I held out my arms for the baby, "I haven't gotten to hold him yet."

"I was just coming to hand him over; Linds wants Mercedes and I to have a piggy-back race with her. Can't have little man here runnin' off."

"Oh, be careful!"

Sara just rolled her eyes, "No, I fully intend to drop our child on her head. I'm going for as much brain damage as possible- which angle do you think I should aim for?"

"That's funny. Really. I just forgot to laugh because of the image of our child in a coma flashing through my brain."

"Will you relax? If I'm strong enough to carry you from the car all the way up to our bathroom then I'm pretty sure I can handle a sixty pound child."

"Yes, well, as I recall," I smiled coyly at her, running a toe up her calf, "You were on a bit of an adrenaline rush when you whisked me up those stairs."

"Newsflash, babe, I'm on an adrenaline rush anytime I'm within a ten mile radius of you."

"Really?" I gave her my best innocent smile. I could hear Sidney laughing at our game. "So you must be on the verge of a heart attack when I do this…" I stretched, thrusting my chest forward, pretending to yawn. Then I licked my lips expressively.

Sara grinned evilly. She handed the baby to Sydney. "You know what?" she said, "Forget piggy-back rides. I think there's a public restroom around here somewhere, or actually, Cath…I just had this sudden urge to show you this grove of trees over here." She grabbed my wrist.

Sidney laughed, "I had no idea you two were still on your honeymoon."

"If I have anything to say about it, Cath and I will be on our honeymoon for the next thirty years." I liked seeing Sara this relaxed around other people.

I pouted, "Only thirty?"

"Well, by then we'll be retired in a condo somewhere with grandkids crawling around. I mean, Lindsey will be as old as you are now. Are you saying you'll still want me to ravage you when we're seventy-five?"

I grinned evilly, "Count on it babe. Besides, in thirty years, I may be seventy but you'll only be sixty-three. I'll fully expect to be ravaged for another thirty years after that."

I received a smile and a kiss, "You'll be the sexiest centenarian on the block, babe."

"I know." I grinned and swatted at her. "Now go give our little girls a race to remember. But if anyone gets brain damage you can just forget sex for the next decade."

For that, I got a salute, "Yes, ma'am." And then my gap toothed smile.

That smile never ceased to send shivers down my spine. I thought of something. "Babe?"

She turned back to me, "Yeah, I was thinking Italian. What about you?"

I smiled, loving how she knew just what I was going to ask. "Perfect. Ludovico's?"

"The girls can get pizza and we can get mussels with angel hair."

"You read my mind."

She grinned. "I-"

"I know you do. Trust me, its mutual, hon!"

She laughed as she walked back to the field, "Why do we even bother talking?"

I started to reply but she just waved back, "I know, I know. Because you love the sound of my voice."

Sidney laughed and I blushed.

"You two are perfect for each other."

I closed my eyes, taking the baby and bouncing him on my knees. "I know." And I sighed because for a rare moment everything in my life was calm and even better than I had ever dreamed it would be.

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After I talked to Sydney, something started to shift in me. It started the very next day when I was picking the girls up from school. I was parked in the parking lot, waiting, when a woman crossed the street. There wasn't anything special about her, I'd never met her before, but I immediately felt a connection to her. Balanced neatly on her hip was sweet-faced baby, about eight months old. I saw her and I ached.

And it began to happen everywhere; mothers toting infants, fathers giving toddlers shoulder rides- pregnant women. I was going crazy. All of a sudden my idle thoughts of some fantasy baby weren't enough anymore. My dreams were filled with warm bottles, tiny toes, and little giggles. Sidney had opened up a floodgate of unwanted, unhelpful thoughts. I could barely go a minute with thinking about a baby. It was unbearable.

And the worst of it was, I didn't have a damn clue as to what I was supposed to do about it. I couldn't just stop thinking about it, I'd tried that. And it didn't work because I didn't want to stop thinking about a baby. I wanted to have baby with Sara, badly. But there were so many reasons why we shouldn't or couldn't, not to mention that Sara would never, not in a million years, want a fourth child, she'd think I had lost my mind. No, the best thing was to just keep things to myself, to suffer in silence.

Six weeks after my conversation with Sidney, I was relaxing out on the deck with my sister, watching the two younger girls run in and out of the sprinklers. Sara had taken Lindsey and Jeremy on a bike ride, so we were alone in the house. Nancy was sipping her iced tea beside me, and curled up on my chest was my three week old niece, Abbigail Lily, or Abbi for short. She was so beautiful and soft. Her face was so sweet with her chubby cheeks. Her heavy lids covered Nancy's, my, bright blue eyes. Her little turned up nose, her soft skin, her tiny rosebud lips. Everything about her was perfect. I was in love. There was something so calming about her weight on my chest, her little heartbeat rabbiting away over mine.

Rubbing her back, I kissed her head through her baby sun hat. I sighed and leaned back, contented.

"Don't get too comfortable." My sister slurped her drink.

"Hmm?"

"You do know that she's coming home with me, right? Seeing as how she's my daughter and everything." Nancy smiled over her sunglasses. Abbi shifted and squeaked at the sound of her mother's voice.

"Sorry," I murmured drowsily, "did you want her back?" But I lay a protective arm over the baby, not quite ready to give her up just yet.

Nancy laughed and waved a hand, "No, keep her. You just looked so comfortable there. Don't worry, it's cute."

I hummed, "How could I not be comfortable? There's nothing better than this. She's so trusting and helpless. She's so at peace. It's amazing."

"I can think of a few things better. Like a full night's sleep. Or getting to dry my hair in the morning. Or time for sex.'

I smiled and shook my head, "No, this is it, right here. I miss this. Lindsey climbed into bed with Sara and I one night last month? Between the two of them, I was nearly kicked out of the bed. I ended up in Lindsey's room. Any thoughts of her being a little girl anymore were thrown right out the window. Sometimes I just wish she could have stayed this small forever. I miss this."

At that moment, Abbi started to fuss. Nancy dropped her head back on her seat, "She can't possibly be hungry again."

I lifted the little girl and kissed her nose. "No," I pitched my voice, "that's not a hungry cry, is it, Princess? No, that's a dirty diaper cry if I ever heard one. Yes, oh yes, it is. Who's got a dirty diaper?" Nancy made to get up but I waved her back down. "Let's give Mommy a break, okay Miss Abbi? And Auntie Catherine will tackle that mean old diaper!"

"Oh, thank God." Nancy collapsed back into her seat.

It was while I was changing Abbi's diaper that I once again remembered my conversation with Sidney. I remained inside for awhile, rocking the baby and thinking how perfect she felt in my arms. By the time I returned to the deck, the little girl was fast asleep.

I settled back down and sighed, "I love having a baby in the family again. It's so different with older girls. Even a few months ago, Maggie was a baby, but now…" I drifted off.

My sister studied me intently. "You know," she pointed to the two girls laughing in the grass, "you basically have three kids."

"Yeah?" It was true. We were a household of five, it was how we operated now. By then, being a mother of three was all but a way of life for me. I had three children, that's just how it was.

"So, you're talking as if you want another one," she said. I froze and stiffened, and Nancy caught it. She sat up quickly. "You do, don't you? Oh, my God, you want another baby!"

I glared at her, Sara could be home at any minute. "Will you keep you voice down?"

Her eyes widened at my confession. "Cath, that's crazy! You have three already, what the hell are you going to do with a fourth one? It's completely mental!"

"I know!" I sighed, "I know." Abbi squirmed in her sleep and I smiled down at her. "I just…" I watched Maggie play in the mud under our hammock while Ayla stood by, afraid to get dirty.

"You just….?"

I looked at her. "I have this feeling. I've had it since Sara and I got together. But at first things were new, and then they got complicated. And life managing three kids was…unmanageable. Life was crazy, and I could ignore the feeling. Now, though…life is a good crazy and things are more than manageable. And I see you with Abbi and Sydney with Grayson, I see mothers with their babies and I think, 'I want that again, that's where I'm supposed to be.' I don't know, I can't help it, I've tried to fight it but I can't." I shook my head, "But then I see the girls and Sara, and a part of me thinks we're a perfect family. But another part of me feels this void. I want another baby. It sounds crazy, but I know we're supposed to have another one. I can feel it."

Nancy was quiet for a long time before she spoke. She furrowed her brow. "So, how would that work exactly? How would you, you know…chicken and the egg?"

A corner of my mouth twitched. "I wouldn't. It's much safer for Sara to do it. As much as I would love to be pregnant again, I wouldn't risk the health of our child. And there would a sperm donor- anonymous, I think."

"Aha. And can Sara feel that you're destined to be certifiably insane mothers of four?"

"No," I replied, sulkily, looking at Abbigail, "not yet."

"Well, don't you think you should share that information with her? It's not the kind of thing that you keep from your spouse. And I don't see how you could get her pregnant without her noticing. You have to tell her."

At that moment, the girls came running over. "Catherine?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can we please have a popsicle?"

"Or two?" Maggie smiled impishly. I grinned at her enthusiasm.

"Why don't we wait for Sara and everybody? I bet by the time we get you guys into the shower and into some clean clothes, they'll be here."

"Okay."

"Okay!"

But when we returned to Nancy in the living room, Sara, Lindsay, and Jeremy had not returned. Maggie tiptoed over to where Nancy was watching over a sleeping Abbi.

"Aunt Nancy, I really like your baby."

"Thank you, I like her too."

Maggie had begun calling my sister 'Aunt Nancy' about three months before. For no reason, she just up and said it one day. And once Ayla had seen that her little sister was not getting in trouble over it, she picked it up as well. When I asked Nancy how she felt about it, she had just shrugged and waved a hand dismissively. "They might as well," she had said. "I see them just as often as I see Lindsey. It will probably make things easier." I was glad that, in some ways at least, Nancy seemed to be getting used to my new life.

"Umm, Aunt Nancy? Could I, maybe, umm, hold your baby? Like Lindsey? I won't break her, I promise." Oh, how cute is that?

But Nancy shook her head. "Maybe when she's a bit bigger, Maggie. I know you wouldn't mean to break her, but you could have an accident."

I saw my littlest girl put out her lower lip. Her chin began to tremble and tears threatened to fall. She looked at me with the saddest look of disappointment and utter despair and I couldn't take it; I could never take it. "Nance? If Maggie sat in my lap while I held Abbi, would that be okay?"

Nancy seemed to think about it, then nodded. Maggie's electric smile was worth about a million dollars.

When Sara came through the door, it was to see one of her daughters perched on my knee and another crowded over my shoulder, staring in amazement at the gurgling bundle in my arms. She came around the back of the couch to give me a kiss hello. Displays like this always made Nancy a bit uncomfortable, like if she couldn't see it, maybe her sister wasn't really a lesbian.

But Sara had taken to pretending she didn't notice my sister's discomfort. In fact, she seemed to go out of her way to find reasons to touch me whenever Nancy was around. I think she was fed up with it, and why shouldn't she be? I was entitled to kiss my girlfriend whenever I liked. Screw it. I leaned into the kiss.

"Hmm. You're all sweaty."

"Don't lie, you know you like it." She kissed the top of my head and rubbed my arm.

"Oh, absolutely. Yum. De-lic-ious."

"Look, Sara. Aunt Nancy let me hold the baby!"

I could feel Sara grin against my ear. "I see that. You're such a big girl."

Maggie scrunched her nose and giggled.

I looked fondly down at Abbi and then back to Sara, "Isn't she perfect?"

Sara kissed me and smiled, "She's beautiful." She pecked my lips. "I gotta go change. Jeremy and Lindsey want to go swimming. You girls want to come too?"

"We just took off our swimsuits," Ayla said, practically.

"Well, put them back on, silly!"

The girls laughed and ran upstairs to change.

I got another kiss on the temple. "I'd better go help Maggie with her suit."

"Hmm. She's getting pretty good at it, actually."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." At that moment, Abbi opened her eyes and gurgled up at Sara.

Sara smiled and touched the little girl's head lightly. "Hey, baby," she said simply. She half stood and rubbed my shoulders for a moment. "See you in a sec?"

I nodded. "Mhm. Love you."

Lips on mine. "Love you, too." Before my eyes had opened, she was gone.

I smiled and layback against the cushions.

"God," my sister exclaimed, surprising me.

"What?"

"You two are so healthy. I mean, three kids and you still treat each other like that."

I shrugged and repeated Sidney's phrase, "We may have three kids but we're still very much on our honeymoon phase. I cherish Sara everyday."

"Which is why you're hiding your little feeling from her?"

I sat up and handed the baby over, "I'm not hiding anything."

"So, you're going to tell her."

I sank back down, "I…I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Catherine, listen. I'm not saying I think it's your best idea, but it obviously means a lot to you. And I'm not one to give relationship advice, but I will say this; Mitch and I wouldn't have made it through the first week if we had lied-"

"I am not lying to her. I would never lie to her."

"Fine, you're not lying, you're just withholding important information; it amounts to the same thing, Cathy. You have to tell her."

I sighed, "I know, you're right." I touched Abbi's cheek. "You're right, I have to tell her."

"Tonight?"

I shook my head. "No. Sara works tonight, I don't want to distract her."

"Right, the precious career." Nancy rolled her eyes.

"Nance, c'mon. Sara and I-"

"Love your jobs, take them very seriously; you're finding justice for victims who can't speak for themselves. I've heard." She moved to sit beside me on the sofa. "So, tomorrow? After the girls are at school?"

My shoulders dropped. "I guess so. God, I hope she doesn't hate me."

"She won't." Nancy looked at me. "Will she?"

I made a face. "No. There isn't much that Sara really hates. But I honestly don't know how she'll react. We've never talked about this- at all. It's going to be totally out of left field for her. Maybe she won't hate me, but she could easily get upset." I put my head in my hand. "And I wouldn't blame her."

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HA! Weren't expecting that one, were you? Okay, Tiger87 was- sly dog you. You win my imaginary fanfic prize of the day! How did you know?

Alright, I want everyone to write and tell me which characters you'd like to see more of. The kids? The team? A stripper friend from the past qui aime les ménages a trois? You tell me and I'll see what I can do. Review!