Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. Santa would never agree to give me the right to it, curse that.
The Bridge Of Silence
+---+
+Struggling To Say+
The warmth of the sun bore down upon Hinamori's back, her eyes focused on the large gate door that stood before her. A free and lonesome life was to lead ahead, beyond that door laid a rather uncertain future now that she hadn't ever imagined. Nothing would make a difference, no good byes or words of wisdom were being said, and only loneliness seemed to embark upon that distant future. Again, again, again. No one would come now, saving her from a miserable life ahead--she was alone.
The struggling pain in her heart began to throb, pulling that heart under the void. Growing hollow in a matter of seconds, time slowed down, the wind becoming fierce--the world turning its back against her. A tear escaped her brown eyes, glistening with the sun, but slowly vanishing as rain began to pour down on her face. Drop by drop, the sound of the wind and rain mixed together made her heart sank lower.
"Shiro…" Momo turned, no one was around at all. He wouldn't come, he would never dare to show his face in front of her again. The bad memories were hard to erase, so she didn't expected him to come and see her off.
Everyone had come to say something, to ask why she had done those things, but there was no answer. All of them had come, except for him. That loathing would run deeper then any other wound, the scar would heal in time as he would fall into the arms of that other woman. Momo didn't hate Karin though, she had become to respect her because of how strong she was. Just like her brother, Karin was worthy enough to be called Toushiro's wife.
A faint smile appeared on her face, her dark hair matted to her face as the rain continued to fall. Slowly, she was turning cold though--the cold from the world.
"Are you ready?" The guard asked, his face hidden away for her to see.
"Just…just a second." Her voice was soft, still. The look on her eyes was empty, void of any emotion at all as she had chosen not to feel at the moment of hearing that it was time to go.
Without much more to say, she could only think about wanting to say 'sorry' to her childhood friend. Seeing his face, hearing him say something--no matter if they were words of hate and discomfort--she just wanted to hear him say something.
Perhaps, this was how it was meant to be. The gate was opened, the street seemed empty and silent as her feet moved forward. There was something to look forward now, a survival life without a sword in her hands. She shut her eyes briefly, stopping again.
"Its time, there's no going back." The guard expressed, watching as the smaller shinigami shook slightly.
"I'm very much aware of that, thank you." Her tone was hard, almost as she was trying hard not to cry--which she was.
The silence was being overpowered by the rain, the smell of it travelled in the wind. The lullaby was soothing, unfitting for what was about to take place. Finally, she managed to step past the gate--she took a deep breath and turned before the gate would close. In spite of having made peace with this, tears began to fall from her eyes as she breathed hard, it seemed as though she had been holding so much inside.
The gates closed, her eyes could only stare at the sky for a few seconds before it disappeared. Despite of the sky being the same, somehow the view from Seireitei was different because she knew that everyone saw it just the same. In time, everyone would forget about her and everything that had taken place during the past few short months. Time would move, wounds would heal or be coped with, but her own would only become harder to avoid at all. The rain was replaced by snow, the white pure flakes falling onto the ground and turning into ice.
+---+
The faint sound of rain pouring against the roof awoke Toushiro, his eyes peering over to the ceiling, though everything looked blurry. How long had he been asleep for? Surely getting sick was bound to be noted into his agenda, there would be so much paperwork to get back to. The pounding of his head was not helping though, his throat was dry and he felt clammy. The sky was grey, overcast with clouds filled with moisture; it was unpleasant.
As he sat up, the spinning motion pull him under its spell as he tried not to gag. His surroundings were different, the room was unfamiliar to him as it was not the room he expected to wake up in. The walls were grey, a few things were still in place--somehow it looked too familiar. Though, with the feeling in his head it was nearly impossible to recall anything at all. The clothes on him were weird, a black short sleeve dress shirt and lose jeans--not the everyday attire at all.
The sounds of the television were loud, the laughter of children were also present, and the smell of soup travel underneath his nose. Footsteps travelled from the downstairs, a soft knock followed from the other side of the door.
"Toushiro." Karin's voice filled him up. The door opened, and in a flash he felt her body press against his.
"Karin, what's going on?" Toushiro's voice croaked, his mouth was too dry.
Karin looked at him, her eyes pleasant at the sight of him and knowing that he would be alright. She kissed him, pulling him under that spell that would be nearly impossible to break. The scent of her fruity shampoo comforted him, his heart was beating faster now as she felt her fingertips graze his chest.
"I've been so worried." She whispered, her dark eyes focused on his. "You fell ill after we got here, old man kept on saying that it would take an entire week for you to recover."
Nothing made sense, what were they doing in the real world to begin with? He laid back, his head was in a daze once again--feeling like a weak shinigami made him scowl. Perhaps Toushiro remembered something, he remembered being in his office one night finishing his paperwork. Matsumoto was missing…again for the entire day, so what was the answer. His wife had come over, the sheepish smile on her face was that of no questions--well he wouldn't dare question it because he feared the yelling that would come.
Right, he remembered that she had begged him to take a week off so they could visit the real world. Announcing that she was pregnant to Ishida--it seemed that Quincies were now her friends for some odd reason--he failed to notice. Well, respect was given to them though for their work as well. So, Tatsuya had also begged to let him visit 'ojiisan' and he scowled.
"How long have I been out?" He found his voice, getting ahead of himself was now a bad thing.
"Three days--fever and fits at night." She looked at him. Karin had forgotten what her husband's eyes looked like for three days. "You got infected by a virus from here--something deadly for shinigamis apparently."
"I feel…strange." Toushiro looked at his wife. He brought his large hand to her stomach, a smile came to his face suddenly. "How are you feeling?"
The dark haired shinigami smiled, bringing her own hand up to met with his allowing the warmth to spread like wildfire inside. The happiness rushing like poison, though a good poison, and making the past three days a thing of the past. She smiled, her eyes meeting up with his as they stared at each other for the longest time--four years since that distant past--their feelings seemed to always look like they were when they had met. The feeling of a kick made her jump a little, making him look concerned.
"Its nothing, she's just kicking." Karin smiled, still holding onto his hand. "Only four months to go, and she'll be here. Are you excited?"
He stretched out to touch her face, to trace her jaw line and her lips. "I am, very much so." For the past four years, Hitsugaya's attitude had made a dramatic change, though he still remained the same in the office.
"Good, or else I'll have something to say about that." She grinned. The door opened, the white haired boy peeked in and smiled as he saw his father.
"Otousan!" He ran towards the bed, throwing his arms around his father. "Otousan, are you feeling better now?" His eyes were just like Hitsugaya's, but he was more of a mischievous child.
"Certainly, why?" Somehow by the look on Tatsuya's face, something was up.
"Because, because…" He was bouncing up and down, for a four year old he was full with so much energy. "Ichigo-niichan said he'll take us all to the beach, he said something about Otousan not having a license or something."
The white haired captain frowned at that, obviously he was not even from this world to begin with. He remembered to give his brother-in-law a piece of his mind regarding that subject, but until later while the dizziness would disappear.
"Dinner is ready!" Yuzu shouted from the kitchen.
"Do you think you can eat?" Karin looked at Toushiro with concern, and he nodded. "Come on then, Tatsuya go and tell Yuzu to put an extra chair."
"Hai." The boy left the room, his footsteps faintly stopping as he had reached the first floor.
"Who's room is this?" He asked, that question had been bugging him from the start.
"Ichi-nii's, he's staying at his own apartment." She answered. He got up slowly, feeling like he would throw up any second, but that wouldn't happen at all. "Are you sure that you're up to going downstairs?"
He wasn't even sure himself, but there needed to be something to prove that this wasn't a dream. Sure felt like it though, like a whiplash of some sort that he was unable to explain. That feeling wasn't good, the recurring dream was getting out of hand, and the confusion was an understatement.
The entire Kurosaki household gathered there, Yuzu was carrying the rice cooker to the large table while Hisagi was holding one of the twins on his arms. His father-in-law was holding the other, a large smile on his face while Kazuki and Amaya were running around as their younger brother, Koji sat still on the baby chair. Ichigo and Rukia were having a slight conversation in the living room.
Surely, the atmosphere was merry for the most part since everyone decided to go on vacation in the real world. He could still remember Matsumoto squealing at that, her and those shopping trips were bound to bring trouble with the pocket money given to 10th squad--all of it would be charged upon her account.
"Oh, Toushiro. Finally, I thought you had turned into Sleeping Beauty for a while there." Ichigo was the first one to notice, he smirked at him.
"I was sick, not pretending to be part of a fairytale, Kurosaki." Toushiro grumbled, taking a seat besides Hisagi.
"Hitsugaya, glad that you're looking better." The 69 tattooed man smiled at him, the baby boy on his arms giggling. "We're going to the beach tomorrow, I hope that doesn't bother you."
Surely, everyone knew about his great dislike over the warm weather and worried, so that was fine. He dismissed it a nod, he didn't mind at all which struck as strange.
"What's going on?" He was tired of whatever was going on, and he was getting to the bottom of it.
The entire house stood still, everyone glancing around each other trying hard not to say anything, seeing that no one wanted to remind him that today had been the day of--no one dared even think about it.
"Its nothing to worry about, you got sick." Isshin explained, his goofy grin placed on his face. "The virus attacked your senses and memories, nothing to worry about since you got plenty of rest."
Toushiro still felt confused, but took that as a proper answer and pushed all thoughts aside as everything suddenly returned to normal--slightly. Ichigo and Rukia began to argue, shouting as they always did about whatever they were talking about before. Hisagi and Yuzu were feeding their twins, Yuu and Hotaru, which was proving to be a very tedious task.
"Toushiro, are you sure you want to go to the beach tomorrow?" Karin asked, concern dripping in her words.
"Of course, Tatsuya wants me to go." He replied, scratching his head and yawning. "I've never felt this horrid before, and where in the hell is Matsumoto?"
"She's with Ikkaku and Yumichika." The orange haired captain answered, while his wife was glaring at him. "Renji and Tatsuki are here too, though they are visiting the relatives."
Tomorrow. That was bound to be an interesting day, he wonder how he would handle the heat and such. He wished that he was back in Soul Society again.
+---+
The smell of the ocean was stingy, the crushing waves sloshing rhythmically against the shoreline while the cawing of the seagulls joined into the cacophony. The entire family stood there, each on their beach wear and ready to have fun, despite the little dark cloud appearing on Hitsugaya's figure.
Karin looked at her husband, concerned that he would start feeling sick again because of the sudden rush from getting sick and then coming out suddenly like that. Except, that he had sworn that he would go for the sake of their son. He still pushed himself so much to prove his worth, obviously the wounding on his heart was very much visible. In spite of the years that had passed by, the fact that Hitsugaya Toushiro had missed the early stages of life of his son were pretty hurtful for him.
"Come on, its summer vacation!" Kazuki ran towards the beach, and jumping on the water. Amaya followed behind, as Koji was tugging on his father's hand to take him there.
The entire large family broke apart, Isshin going with Yuzu and Shuuhei to help with the twins--they were a handful due to how energetic they were. Ichigo and Rukia were enjoyed their own time, each of them splashing their children or doing some other fun thing.
"So, this is what everyone does in this places?" Hitsugaya asked, as he stood on the sand staring at the ocean.
"Not really, but close." Karin answered, taking his hand and staring at her brother and his wife. "I feel sleepy, so I'm going to lay down. Take Tatsuya though, he has wanted to come here when old man told him about the beach."
"I will, don't worry." He smirked at her, letting go off her hand and walking towards the beach while their son was jumping up and down happily.
She smiled while she laid down on the folded chair, the umbrella covering her from the sun and tried to relax. A bunch of women passed by, their eyes gazing at Ichigo, Hisagi, and Toushiro because they were strangely unfitting for the beach. Somehow, shinigamis held a different appearance compare to humans, once they got into a gigai. Their aurora was different, almost angelic and perfect, flawless in a sense that could not compare to anything in this world.
"They're hot." Some random teen girl stopped in front of Karin. Her friend was on the other side, the smile evident that she had caught something nice.
"Those three orange haired people look like brother and sister, wonder if they are?" The other one said, her smile still hanging onto her face.
"I know, they're so cute. How about that guy with white hair? His little brother looks so cute." The first one expressed.
Karin shook her head, obviously her husband, brother and brother-in-law were very good looking men but taken. Every woman would desire to be around those, including a few other men in Soul Society--though there was a lot that one would deal with though. The constant whispering, the gossip and everything that came of being together with a ranking officer in the Gotei 13.
She had accepted that long before she knew it, knowing well that there would be a lot of responsibility on becoming the wife of a captain. There was so much honour to uphold, showing shrewdness and wit because it was essential for the part.
"They're married you know." She spoke, standing up and looking at the two teenage girls.
The girl scoffed, looking down at her stomach and shaking their heads--somehow that got annoying after everyone kept on thinking that she was still a young teen like them.
"Oi, Karin pull out all of the water bottles." Ichigo called, as everyone was now coming back to shore.
The two teens looked like they might squeal, they were walking towards them with smiles on their faces--with the exception of Hitsugaya. The dark haired woman shook her head, perhaps those girls would need a kiddie pool since they were literally salivating over her brother, brother-in-law and husband.
"Kaasan, Koji won't leave me alone." Amaya complained, as the small Kurosaki child was tugging on her long orange hair.
"Koji, come here kid." Ichigo handed him a sandwich. "There, stop pulling on your sister's hair now."
Karin watched as the girls left, they were whispering to each other while still glancing back at them. A smug look came to her face, that glint in her dark eyes showed that she wasn't about to lose--Hitsugaya-Kurosaki Karin never allowed anyone to win at all.
So far, the small vacation in the beach was going better then expected, everyone was having a good time. The intended purpose was done, the only problem had been the Hollow that had appeared--but Kazuki was the one willingly to go and get the job done by himself. As the end of the day came, everyone boarded the bus that Isshin had rented for the day--a large family would never fit on a standard sized Jeep or van of any kind.
Hitsugaya thought that the day had to be one of the worst--all of those teenage girls staring at him like--he couldn't even tell why they were staring at him. The heat was unbearable, but he handle it just fine for his son and he was able to bear with the salty water that had gotten under his nose. What was the purpose of that? Surely fun wouldn't describe his first experience, even so, he appreciated the fact that the entire family had come. Tatsuya had fallen asleep on his seat, his head tilting to the side a bit looking peaceful, his mouth slightly open.
Somehow, the strange feeling of knowing that he was stuck in some kind of dream was getting to him. He leaned against his seat, gazing out the window of the bus and looking at the flashing scenery from the countryside of Karakura. Why had he felt weird for? There was something he was missing, an important date, an important meeting, an important event. What was it?
Those turquoise eyes followed a billboard, over the years he had become very knowledgeable regarding the real world and everything that it had to offer--and also with the help of Matsumoto's blabbering about everything that she would see during her visits. There was something about that poster that reminded him of someone, the doors closing that would make the bright light vanish forever, it seemed surreal in a sense for him.
The obvious hit him like a strike of a zanpaktou on his head, it was the easiest thing to remember. Yesterday had been the day in which his childhood friend had been vanished, that memory was so distant and forgotten that it was shocking to think about it. Four years and some months did change, making all of those bad memories to become faded with time, along with everything that had happen. So, why did he found himself thinking about it still? Hinamori Momo was gone, she had made poor choices in the path of her life, and got what she deserved.
"...I'll come see you on my vacations." Those words were haunting, a lie that were nearly impossible to stray away from because those words hurt deeply.
In time, she stopped coming less and less, things changed. That constant isolation had become too much, everyone treating him differently because of his strange hair colour and eyes--he could not help it though.
"I'll call you by your real name when you're old enough to go to the same school as me!" She never stopped calling him Shiro-chan, always being treated like a child.
Those were childish memories, so imprudent and held no meaning to recalling them at all. The loathing or the pity would never disappear at all, it would simply become unstirred like dirt in water--making everything unclear. His eyes focused again, at least he was thankful that no one had mentioned that to him at all--remembering was harder than to forget about it completely.
"Toushiro, are you okay?" Karin snapped him out of his thoughts, her dark eyes focusing closely to his.
"Fine." He lied, tearing his gaze away from her yielding eyes. Her expression was careful though, almost as if she knew well what he was thinking about. "I'm fine, nothing to worry about at all." Toushiro's reassurance did nothing to sway her away though, it only made Karin determined to get right to the truth.
"You--remember right?" She looked away. He was shocked at how easily she read him, then again she could do it any day of the week. Amazing was not even the word at all.
"I imagined, but I'm trying." His tone softened, his hand found hers and took it. "Thinking about Momo only brings pain, its like everything becomes so unfocused. All the choices, all of the mistakes of the past meant nothing at all. It was living a lie, living under made up memories that resort to nothing--its all empty."
She understood, to some extent, that her husband wanted to forget everything. Though that would be asking for the impossible, because she wanted for him to stop looking so empty himself. He was fair, modest to some extent, easily annoyed by the lack of commitment from people, and the lack of others to understand certain actions that they had been handed. Toushiro was prideful on his own right, always doing the right thing and being fair--that made her wonder why no other person would accept him in their world.
Frankly, she hadn't picked him because of those qualities at all. It was that passion that laid behind those teal eyes, the burning desire to stride for more and gain more in life, it was filled with certainty and fairness. No one compared to him at all, no one could hold up a candle to him, even if they tried. Comparing those traits to others seemed fair, though no one could easily compile against his achievements at all. No one would, no one deserved to be praised by him because they weren't dutiable like him.
Karin failed to know why Hinamori wouldn't choose him, what made Aizen so great? Looks, talent--none of those things mattered at all. What was his passion in life? Becoming greater then God was nothing, simply considered like a child's play. She didn't want to know though, life without Toushiro wouldn't be a life at all, and she wanted him for herself only.
"Forget it, I shouldn't be thinking about her in the first place." He smiled at her, though it did not reach his eyes at all.
"Tell me, it annoys me when you do that." She glared at him, trying hard to go deep inside of his locked up emotions. "You're not fine, you space out all the time--its like you're an empty shell inside. It-it hurts to see that empty expression, like you can't forget about her."
A pained look shot to his face, hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do in his lifetime. "I'm sorry, my behaviour has become unacceptable over the--however long it has been." He paused, looking at his wife and down at her stomach. A tiny life was growing in there, it was a little girl that would come into this world in a matter of months.
"Don't worry, you'll get by." She smiled again, grasping his hand tightly and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, for coming here and doing that for our son. I wonder what she would look like, you or me?"
For a second, the tinge of guilt came to him, but left suddenly at the mention of his daughter. They talked throughout the entire ride home, despite the fact that he struggle to say anything at all, the vacation hadn't been such a bad idea at all.
"Don't bother, Momo. Stupid bed wetter." He remember that still, but Toushiro needed to stray away from old memories. "Good bye, Hinamori."
The sun was sinking in, the golden colours of the sunset were bright and warm as the faint mist of the rain came pouring down again. Ichigo and Rukia got into the shinny black car, their kids taking their seats on the back and took off. Hisagi and Yuzu were tired, excusing themselves inside with their twins. Isshin taking off to the clinic, at least he wanted to pick back up on the night shifts for the sake of it--even though he had to travel to the hospital that Ishida Ryuuken owned.
"Otousan, we're going to get wet." Tatsuya complained, as he was tugging on his hand trying to pull him out of the soft falling rain.
"Sorry, come on then." Hitsugaya smiled down at his son, picking him up and walking inside the house.
It was a little quaint, the simplicity that a few days of human life were like despite of him only experiencing only a day of it. Those weeks in the past were nothing to the present, it was like his purpose of coming here was to only protect the city from Hollows--it was always about fighting. This time, the purpose was sole on pleasure of relaxation and away from the stuffiness of his office, so the feeling was different.
Life would return again, the piles of paperwork would be waiting for him, and his duties would also come back. He groaned, that paperwork.
+---+
Another chapter, thank you for the wonderful reviews. I'm very proud of how this story is going so far--even though I complain about how I don't like certain parts--but its the longest story that I have kept up with. Anyways, so thank you for all of you who have supported me so far. Well, this chapter was slightly off--I thought that I needed to write about how Hitsugaya would feel about Hinamori and the things she did. Firstly, I hate her which I am sure everyone notices that, but I felt like Hitsugaya didn't need to hate her. He just simply needed to forget her, to move away from that alone, so he struggles a bit with that. We're exactly four years and five months into the time now, so hopefully no one has gotten lost. Its around Winter-ish in Soul Society by the way. So, I added a summer scene because I felt like there needed to be more scenes of everyone being back in the real world--so I thought it was fun.
+Tsukihime nee- 'No, I dislike her so badly because of how whinny and clingy she gets. And, I don't like Momo at all. So, its all good I have my own favourites and the ones I don't like. Thank you for the review though. Actually, I thought I'd explained on my story that they were letters that they found. Well, I can't go back now and correct that mistake, but they are letters that they found while they raided Hueco Mundo again. I think I PM-ed you the answer to that. Well, I'm clarifying again just in case.'
+happygirl24- 'Thank you for the kind words, and yes. I have to agree, I thought that it would be a neat way of finding out why she did the things she did. So, I hope that you know that she blames Rukia for everything--I am sure that you got the idea of that letter to Ichigo. So, yeah the letters were a way of me explaining a lot of things and go a little bit more into her feelings.'
+noneurbeeswax- 'Thank you very much, I'm glad that you love this story. And, well he's just an OC I created for the purposes of this story--you won't see him again. Perhaps, I'm not sure I'll probably use him in the future again for the other chapters.'
If this chapter sounds depressing or boring, sorry that's how all of my thoughts feel like at the moment since I have a cold--surely that does not help with writing anything dealing with happy emotions at all. Eek, the nostalgic feeling is horrid. Anyways, well that's all I have to say so you know what to do...Review. P.S. What did everyone think of who's the number one Espada? I actually thought it might have been that one, so it didn't really shock me that much--though the chapter was very good.