I stood alone in the layout room, lit table before me with evidence cluttered all over the place. I looked over it all, trying to decide where to start. I concluded that I should start with the evidence Sara had collected in New York, to get myself acquainted with the unknown.

I walked over to a table nearby me, with all the evidence from New York and grabbed a bag from the first murder. I walked back to the layout table and began to carefully take out each piece of evidence.

I looked over everything, smiling to myself as I saw Sara's handy work in almost everything I touched. Her work had matured over the last five years, had become more precise and clean, making going through everything a breeze.

I was finishing going over the first murder, not seeing anything that the people in New York hadn't seen, when Sara walked in.

I looked up at her when I felt her presence enter the room. She met my eyes and smiled a small smile at me. I smiled back; even the lightest of smiles from her could bring the warmth of the sun rushing through me.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she stood opposite from me across the table, looking at what I had laid out.

"Evidence, from your first murder." I said looking down as what I had laid out as well.

"And?" She asked expectantly.

"And what?" I asked, not quite sure what she wanted from me.

"And what did you see?" She said looking at me.

I looked up at her; her gaze was still on me. "I really didn't see anything you hadn't already seen." I said honestly.

Seemingly satisfied with my answer, she walked to the other table to grab a bag of evidence from the second murder. She sat the bag on the edge of the table and came to stand next to me.

She put on a pair of latex gloves and then reached over me to move some of the evidence I had placed out, out of the way. The scent of her hair, though it was not the lilac I loved, drove me crazy.

When she was done she began placing evidence from the second murder out.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, trying to fill the silence.

"Nick and Greg are out in the field…Swing was short staffed tonight…I hope you don't mind."



I smiled silently to myself, she had played boss and sent them out. "Not at all."

"And Warrick and Mike went to a previous crime scene of yours …ours now…one of the more recent ones…to see if they could pick anything else up." Sara said preoccupied with the task in front of her.

"And Catherine?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Sara stiffed in her movements momentarily, but tried to mask it. I mentally kicked myself for bringing her up. Just when I got Sara to talk normally to me, when I got her to stand by me without trying to hurt me some way, I had to bring up the thing that tore us apart.

"She's pouting in your office." Sara said, finished with the task she had set out to do. She smiled at me when she said this and I couldn't help but smile too.

I turned to look at the evidence she had laid out on the table. "So what do we have here?"

She turned to look and the table too and said "Well, this was from out second murder, three days after the first. We found the girl in an ally tree blocks west of a famous night club."

The way she said 'the girl' made me wince on the inside.

"Grissom, what do you want from me?" Sara asked angrily from the chair that sat in front of my desk.

"I want you to act like a professional." I said emotionlessly even through on the inside all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her to just let it out…be mad…be upset…show your emotions…I love you.

"Grissom…the girl was brutally raped and murdered and then left out in the middle of the desert…do you just want me to act like that doesn't affect me?"

There was silence. "Sara…I…"

"Save it Grissom…" Sara got up slowly from her seat and walked to the door. She turned the knob and opened it and then stopped half way out the door. "I think I need a break…" And then she was gone.

Sara finished going over the general evidence quickly and turned to look at me with her beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

"Any questions?" She asked calmly.

I shook my head 'no' and she nodded, spreading the evidence out more so that we could go over it together.



I put on a new pair of gloves and set to work, with Sara close by my side. It felt just like old times, like we were seven or eight years into the past…and we were still friends, and we could still love.

Throughout re-processing we got closer as if there was a magnet inside of us, drawing us subconsciously closer to each other. We bumped shoulders every now and then and sometimes her hand would come to rest a little bit too close to mine. And for once in a long time, I felt warmth on the inside…wholeness, and I really did forget the past seven years. For a minute…it was just me and Sara…and no one else.

Just as we were finishing up Sara turned to me, not realizing how close we were. Her eyes locked on mine in a gripping stare. I could feel the heat of her bodying radiating to mine. Our face's were just inches apart.

Sara and I were in the layout room, pulling a double, working hard to solve a case that had kept Sara tossing and turning at night.

"There!"She said excitedly.

She pointed a picture in front of us. I looked to where her finger pointed and felt a sudden sense of adrenaline.

"Sara, you did it! You solved it!"

She turned to me and flashed me a one hundred watt smile, making my heart skip a beat and feel like it was going to burst out of my chest with love.

Suddenly, before I knew it Sara was inches away from me, her face closing in on mine. Her lips touched mine softly…

"I love you."

"Grissom." She breathed out. It was no 'Gil' but it wasn't the harsh way she normally said my name. Her eyes never wavered, making my heart beat wildly at our closeness.

I could smell her…all of her…I could feel her for the first time in years. Though we weren't fully touching, just being so close to her…made me feel the feelings I had longed for, for years.

"Sara." I breathed back, lost in her eyes.

She about to say something when there was a loud "GRISSOM!" that rang through the halls.

Sara sort of jumped and backed away quickly. She blushed and looked down at her feet, looking like she had done something terribly wrong. I caught her eyes briefly and saw that they looked…sad, distressing, and heartbreaking.



"GRISSOM!"

Sara suddenly looked up at me, the emotion I had witnessed early far gone. Her eyes were blank, her voice empty. "That sounds like Catherine."

I nodded, not knowing what to do…pining suddenly for the moment lost. I wanted to cry, wanted to divulge all of my deepest feelings, secrets, and pains.

"I think she wants you…I'll clean up here, we can go over it later."

"No…Sara…"

She gave me a tight and forced smile, the kind I hated. "No, Grissom really…go. If it'll make you feel better, I'll wait here and continue to go over what we have."

"Sara…I…"

"GRISSOM!" Catherine cut me off, making me want to punch something very hard.

"Go Grissom, before she tears the apart looking for you." Sara said with little humor.

I slumped my shoulders forward, deflated and nodded my head in defeat. Sara turned her back to me and began to go over the rest of the evidence we had.

I walked past her and out of the layout room, missing all the things I had taught myself not to miss.

If this was what it was going to be like, I knew I would surely be defeated for whatever reason. Whether it was always being so close to Sara, and having to work closely with her, while never being able to have her, or watching her love Mike the way she used to love me, or Catherine killing me…I was going to be defeated…beat down…worn down to the core. Something was going to happen, it was only a matter of time…something would surely happen. I could only hope to be ready for it.

With one last look at Sara through the glass window of the layout room, I set out to find the hurricane disaster that happened to be my wife.

A/N trying to get things started, i don't know if you can see it. trying to cut the angst too, but i don't think i did so well, oh well...what are you going to do? Thanks for all the reveiws!