A/N: LATE! I'm late! I'm sorry. I know I said next day delivery, and I did not provide. Very sorry. I had (have) obscene writer's block. But, to make up for it, I made this chapter extra long. Maybe the longest chapter yet.
So, read, review, enjoy.
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Sidney craned her neck to see into the house. "I can't believe Sara is only fifteen weeks along. I wasn't that big until six months, at least."
I slurped at my iced tea. "Yeah, I know, neither was I. But don't say anything to her, she's already paranoid about how she's going to lose the weight. The doctor said it's perfectly normal for carrying twins, but try telling that to Miss 'I'll just have one more cupcake.' I came home from work yesterday, and she had baked and frosted an entire batch and at least four were missing. The babies must be doing something to her brain as well as her stomach, because the Sara I know would never eat that. But am I allowed to say anything? No. God forbid."
For a moment, Sidney and I listened intently to the shrieks and giggles coming from inside. Then Sidney broke the silence. "Hey, don't take this the wrong way, okay?"
I raised an eyebrow, "…Okay…"
"I feel like we've been friends long enough that I can say this to you. Why aren't you and Sara married?"
I blinked at her. "Because it's not legal in Nevada? They don't even allow civil unions."
"So? Mercedes and I are married. In the eyes of god, and all of our friends and family. We had a ceremony about eight years ago."
"Well, neither Sara nor I care very much what god or other people think."
"What about yourselves? Wouldn't it be nice to be committed, officially? Sara is still just your girlfriend. Sadie is my wife. See the difference?"
I thought about it and shrugged. "Sara has never brought up wanting to get married, and I just haven't really thought about it. I don't need a cake and a party to tell me how much I love her. Besides, you forget that I've been married before, and that did not end so hot."
"You can't honestly be comparing Sara to you ex-husband."
"No, I'm not. I'm just saying that last time, I got burnt. I'm not super anxious to do it again. That being said, I would like to be able to call Sara my wife."
"There you go. I'm only asking because it's kind of weird that you're about to have five children, and you're still not hitched."
"I'll think about it. I guess I'm indifferent about it. If Sara wants to, I don't really have a problem with it."
So, I thought about it. And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Sara and I deserved to be married, to be recognized as a committed couple by our friends and family. It was just one more step towards making us all one family. Now, how to bring it up with Sara?
Sara came home late one morning to find me relaxing on the couch. "Hiya, gorgeous." She kissed the top of my head.
"Hiya, back." I smiled at her as she collapsed beside me. "How was your case?"
She sighed. "Wholly depressing. This little old woman accidentally killed her husband of forty-five years. Then she tried to kill herself with her medications and gave herself a stroke. So, now she's alone in the world and she's paralyzed on one side."
I sat up. "That's awful."
"Yeah. And now the DA wants to put her in jail for her husband's death."
"Ah. Come here." I pulled her into my arms. "I hate cases like that. No one wins."
"Hmm. How was your night?"
"Uneventful. Some punk ass kid tried to lie to me in interrogation."
"Uh-oh. Did you let him have it?"
"Oh, yeah. Should have seen the look on his face. Sometimes I really love my job."
"You're evil."
"What? He and a couple of buddies knocked over a gas station and shot the cashier in the arm."
"Okay, you're justified."
"How're the rascals?" I asked, using my nickname for the babies.
Sara lay a hand over her stomach. "Good. Quiet."
I put my hand over hers. "Good."
"You ready to hit the hay? I'm exhausted." She started to stand up.
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Sara sank back, "I don't know if I like that tone. Sounds ominous."
I laughed nervously. "Don't worry, it's not. Or, at least, I don't think it is."
She rolled her eyes. "That's reassuring."
"No, seriously. C'mon. It's just, I wanted to talk to you about…getting married."
Pause. "You mean…us getting married? You and me?"
It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Sara…"
"It's a legitimate question. Maybe you just wanted to talk about the fact that people…get married."
"Well, I'm don't. I want to know why we never talk about getting married."
"I thought that was obvious."
"What? Because it's not legal in Nevada?"
Sara gave me an odd look. "No. Because I didn't think you'd want to get married. You know, after the last time."
"You mean Eddie?"
"Have you been married to anyone else?" She waited for me to reply, but I just threw her a look. "Look," she started, "I just figured that being married to Eddie may have turned you off to the whole institution. I know we don't talk about him much, but c'mon, Cath. I'm not stupid. I know how he treated you. And I never wanted you to feel trapped in anyway. So, if you don't want to get married, I certainly don't need to."
"What if I do? Want to get married, that is."
Sara stopped. "Do you?"
"I…I've been thinking about it."
"And?"
"And I think we should. Obviously, it wouldn't be legal, and I don't care about the religiosity of the whole thing. But I think it'd be nice. To have a wedding with all of our friends and family. I think we deserve it. What do you think?"
"Do I have to wear a dress?"
I laughed. "Babe, you don't even have to wear white."
"No?" She smiled. "In, that case. Catherine Willows, will you marry me?"
"Hmm," I pretended to think. "Well…you are the mother of my children."
"As you are the mother of mine."
"And I guess I do love you with all my heart."
"Want to spend all eternity with me?"
"Yep."
"So?"
"So…yes. Yes, Sara Sidle, I will marry you."
"Better seal it with a kiss."
"Oh, yes, better."
So, that was how Sara and I got engaged. Not the most romantic of stories, but it worked for us. As for the wedding, well that would just have to wait. Sara had no intention of being a pregnant bride, and I agreed with her. We would wait until after the babies were born. But at least we had made the one step forward, actually two. Since it wouldn't be legal anyway, I began to call Sara my wife, before the wedding. Pretty soon, Sara picked up on it too.
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It was officially summer. Mine and Sara's anniversary had past, as had the anniversary of Matt and Warren's deaths. The girls were out of school and enjoying the freedom. Lindsey was away at soccer camp, and Ayla was at a high school science camp at UNLV. Apparently all of the older kids thought she was the cutest thing on the planet, and had adopted her. By this time, Sara was twenty weeks along, and very obviously pregnant. She was really getting too big to work in the field, so Gil had ordered her to lab consulting only. We knew it would happen of course, but that didn't keep Sara from complaining. The weeks were flying by, and we were already halfway through the pregnancy.
"Jonas?"
"No." I vetoed the name.
"Why not?"
"Ever hear of Jonas and the Whale?"
"It's Jonah and the Whale, genius."
"It's the same thing. What about Kyle?"
"I have a really ugly cousin named Kyle."
"Taylor?"
"Oh yeah, I'd like you to meet our children Lindsey, Maggie, Ayla and Taylor."
"What's wrong with that?" I wanted to know.
"Ayla and Taylor? They're practically the same name. Besides, if we're having a son, I want him to have a boy's name."
"Taylor is a boy's name."
"Drop it, Cath."
"Fine." I sighed. I got up from the couch in the break room, "Bottle of water?"
"Sure. But could you run mine through a pound of fresh ground Columbian first?"
I snorted, "In your dreams."
"You know it, babe. I used to dream of you, but lately your face is replaced by a large steaming cup. Analyze that, oh dream master."
"Shut up." I handed her a bottle as I sank back beside her.
I was currently avoiding my paperwork by massaging Sara's feet and she was reading through various files on her latest case. While procrastinating, we took to playing our new favorite game; name the babies. We had been volleying for weeks and had yet to agree.
"Kieran?"
"Because we really want to raise a son who will later head-up the Irish mob." I retorted.
"Jeremiah?"
"In case you didn't notice, your nephew's name is Jeremy."
"Addison."
"Sara!"
At that moment, Warrick walked in, "Ladies, slacking off again, I see. What are you up to?"
"Names," I said absently.
"Names?" Warrick questioned.
"Yeah, names," Sara rolled her eyes, "You know, children need those." She turned back to me, "What's wrong with Addison?"
Warrick laughed, "Do you want the kid to get the crap kicked out of him?"
I nodded at Warrick, "Thank you! Besides, you said no gender neutral names for boys, Addison is neutral."
"Fine."
"Jason?"
"Cory?"
"Max?"
We went on for another twenty minutes, by which time, Greg and Nick had come to watch us. They were smiling good-naturedly.
"What about Eli?"
"Eli? Eli Sidle-Willows?"
"I think it has a ring."
"Could we stay away from bible names, please?"
"Why?"
"I don't know, taking names from a religious text that wants to see me burned in effigy because I love you just doesn't do it for me."
"Technically it doesn't say anything about lesbianism, and anyway, every name is somewhere in the bible."
"Mine's not."
"Mine is."
"Really?"
"I am a prominent female character. Have you even read it?"
I snorted, "The last time I went to church I was fourteen and I got to second base with Michael Harris in the organ balcony."
"Well, Michael is definitely out then."
Warrick laughed at that. "So, are you guys having a boy then?"
"We don't know."
"So why not think about girls names?"
"Oh, god. I feel a migraine coming on." I put the bottle of water to my head.
"What is it?" Warrick wanted to know.
Sara explained, "We've discussed girls names for about twelve consecutive days; we can't agree."
"Ha!" I yelled incredulously, "We could agree if you would stop being so damn stubborn and move on to something else."
"Sorry, I've made up my mind."
"Sorry, you can't make up your mind about what to name our child."
"What's the name she likes?"
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and sighed, "She wants to name the baby Catherine."
"What?" Warrick grinned, "Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously." Sara looked at us incredulously, "What's so bad about wanting to name my child after the love off my life?"
"In that case, Michael is back on the table." I said quickly.
I promptly received a spray of water in my face, "Screw you!"
I laughed, "Not here, dear."
Everyone laughed at that; Sara turned pink.
"What about Nick?" Nick wanted to know.
"Yeah, you know Greg is a very sturdy and versatile name."
Sara rolled her eyes, "Greg, don't you already have a nephew with your name?"
"Maybe."
"Hey, Nick," Warrick stood, asking, "you want to give me a hand on the reenactment I'm doing?"
"Sure, dude." And the two men left.
Greg followed shortly after, muttering about lab results. Sara and I soon followed suit and returned to our work. But after shift that morning, as we watched the girls playing in the pool, we continued our game.
"David?"
"Hodges?"
"Eww."
"Yeah."
"Babe, will you just concede on the Catherine thing?"
I sighed and sat back.
"What if we name her Catherine and call her something else?"
I raised an eyebrow, "What, like Kate or Katie or something?"
"No, I mean her first name is Catherine and her middle name is something else and we call her that."
"Because that won't confuse a child?"
"Will you just give me this? I love you- I love your name. It's a beautiful name."
The flattery was starting to make me cave, "If we name our daughter Catherine, that means I can't have a granddaughter named Catherine."
"I don't care. You can have a granddaughter named Sara and a daughter named Catherine. Besides, we might have two boys, thereby preserving your chances of having a Catherine in the next generation."
"Hmm…"
"So?"
"Well…"
"Please? I really want a baby Catherine." She had the cutest pouty face on.
"We'll see. We still need at least three other girls' names in case we get two, and we need at least four boys names. God, this is so much harder than naming Lindsey."
"How did you name her?"
"Linds?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I wasn't about to name her after my mother, even though I don't mind the name Lily, and I certainly wasn't going to name her after Eddie's mother; Ruth. And as much as I love my sister, Nancy really isn't my favorite name. At first I was really caught up on the name Caitlin, but Eddie said it was too much like Catherine. In the end, Lindsey is my mother's maiden name, and Flynn is mine, so; Lindsey Flynn Willows. Not the most creative, I know. But I actually like the name. Besides, I had to think of something fast. The papers came to me while I was still in the hospital. Eddie had stepped out, and he was hell bent on naming her Carrie Leigh, which, sorry, is just a little too porn star for my tastes. So I had to name her fast."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. But don't worry, I won't sign ours without you."
"You won't get to, I'm not letting you anywhere near those papers now." Sara laughed.
In the end, we actually came up with quite a few names. For girls, we liked; Olivia, Grace, Kelsey, Elizabeth, and Diana. Well, neither Sara or I was that keen on Kelsey, but the girls really liked it. And I didn't like Diana and Sara didn't like Olivia, but neither of us was willing to give them up, so they stayed on the list. If it was two girls, we were ready; Catherine Grace (to be called Gracie) and Elizabeth Kelsey (to be called Lizzie).
Boys were harder. Sara got really stuck on the name Clark for a while, so stuck in fact that we had a huge fight in which my major stance was 'I will not have Superman as a son' and Sara, in a hormonal rage kept screaming about how it was actually a classic comic. After a while, she calmed down and forfeited. Probably because I pretended for an entire hour that I really liked the name Tyson and that if she got to name one Clark then I was naming one Tyson.
There was also a Louis fiasco and a Mark fiasco. It all seemed a bit ridiculous considering we might not even use any of the names. But the thought of five daughters scared me enough to keep searching. In the end, we liked; Charley (Not Charles), Simon, and Leo. We were one name short if it was two boys.
Lindsey tried to convince us to name a boy Usher for about two days, while Maggie thought that having a brother named Elmo was a hands down idea. Ayla, in her typical shy way, said that whatever we thought was good would be fine, but if we really wanted her opinion, she was not opposed to the name Huckleberry Finn or possibly, Neptune, her favorite planet that month. I was left to wonder why children seemed to think you could name a child anything in the world.
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The girls were soon to be back in school. Sara was twenty-five weeks pregnant and her belly was bulging out of her tank top and sweat pants, since she refused to invest in more than a few maternity outfits. We were reading in the hammock out in the backyard while waiting for Nancy to bring the girls back from a shopping excursion. Well, Sara was reading some crime thriller and I was watching Sara read.
We heard the clattering of feet and the jubilant yells of the girls as they came running through the house.
"Mommy?"
"We're out back!" I called.
Sara put down her book as the sliding glass door was opened and Ayla and Lindsey came running to greet us.
"Hi, guys! Did you have fun today?"
"Yeah! We got some back to school clothes- Aunt Nancy let me get a halter-top!"
"She what?!" I yelled, sitting up straight and gracelessly falling out of the hammock.
"I told her that if you didn't approve, she would have to take it back." Nancy spoke from the door, hoisting Maggie on her hip.
"Mommy, I'm nearly twelve years old! I'm going to be in sixth grade this year! Everyone has them."
"Lindsey, despite what you may think, everyone does not have them. And eleven may be old enough for a training bra, but it is not old enough for a strapless one- that is what you need to wear a halter-top. You already got me to buy you that mini-skirt, I don't see why you thought this would be okay."
"This is so unfair." My little devious pre-teen turned to Sara, "Sara," she whined, "tell Mommy that this is unfair. I wanted to wear it on the first day of school."
But Sara shook her head. "Sorry, kiddo. Frankly, I don't get why people think those things are so great. Besides, it would be a major mistake to wear a halter-top on the first day of school."
"How come?"
"Because then Tyler Travis would think that you were easy which is totally not cool. You should wear your denim dress with the purple flowery tank top underneath. That way you look really pretty but you also look like you don't care what he thinks."
"Will you French braid my hair?"
"Of course, babe."
I looked from my lover to my daughter, "Who is Tyler Travis?! Why are we dressing up for him? Lindsey, why do you know what 'easy' means? And, Sara, since when are you dishing out the fashion advice?"
Sara scowled at me.
"Easy means that she'd kiss any boy that asked her to, like Claire Needham." Ayla offered up.
I looked at my eight year old, "How do you know that?"
She shrugged, "Sarah Kissinger said."
"Sarah Kissinger's sister Abby is in my grade and she's really easy. She kissed Jeff and Tony and Jose all at fifth grade graduation."
I turned to look at my sister; I didn't know what to make of this development of sexual awareness in my daughter- seriously, not okay. "Nancy, you want to stay for dinner?"
"Actually, I'm making you dinner."
"What?"
"She's helping us make you guys dinner." Ayla corrected, pushing Sara in the hammock."
Lindsey smiled in the way that said she was hiding something, "We have something we want to talk to you about…" And with that, she took Ayla's hand and they disappeared inside calling back for Nancy to hurry up.
Sara and I looked at Nancy.
She smiled, "Don't worry, you'll like it."
"Can we get a hint?" Sara smiled and opened her arm to me as I crawled back into the hammock.
Nancy shook her head, "Nope. Dinner will be ready in half an hour; you guys just take it easy."
As curious as I was about what the girls were scheming about, I was perfectly content to curl up with Sara for another few minutes. When Nancy and all three girls were safely back in the house, I turned in her arms. She had returned to reading her book, one handed, while the other was wrapped around my waist. I coughed to get her attention, but she was fully absorbed.
"Ahem." I coughed again, none too subtly pulling the book from her hand.
"Hey!" She protested.
"Hey." I replied, but my tone was very different from hers, low enough and husky enough for her to look in my eyes.
She smiled her cocky smile and pulled me closer until I could feel her pregnant belly against me. "Hey," she repeated, her tone now matching mine, "are those bullets down your shirt or are you just happy to see me?"
I groaned, "That was so amazingly lame."
"Kiss me." She pushed our noses together.
"Oh, alright. If you insist." I grinned into her lips before taking their softness in mine. I flung her book into the grass over my shoulder and threw one of my legs over both of hers.
"Oh, baby!" she giggled, pinching my side.
"Shut up, you know you like it."
"Yes, I do."
I slipped my tongue passed her lips and stopped her from talking for a good ten minutes.
"Jesus." I exclaimed, rolling back for some air.
"I think the girls are going to bed early tonight." Sara said, casually.
"They're probably really tired from such a long day out," I agreed.
But the girls did not go to bed early. Just as they had said, the girls made dinner for us (with Nancy's help of course). Spaghetti Alfredo and brownies. They had worked so hard on it, Sara and I didn't even make them eat vegetables- I think that may have been part of the plan. After dinner, Nancy took her leave, saying she had to be in at work early tomorrow.
Ayla and Lindsay and Maggie pulled Sara and I over to the living room and pushed us onto the couch. They pulled a big armchair up so that they could sit in front of us, Ayla and Lindsey side by side with Maggie curled up in Lindsey's lap. For the first time that night I started to think that this might actually be about something important. Apparently Sara had the same idea because she took my hand and raised her eyebrows questioningly. I just shrugged; I had no more idea than she did as to what was going on. We turned and looked expectantly at the girls.
Ayla shyly looked at Lindsey, fully expecting her to start. I loved watching them interact and seeing how close they were, how close they had been since the beginning. We had officially all been together for about a year and two months. We had been living together for less than a year, but I had a hard time remembering what Lindsey's and my lives had been like when there were only two of us living here and not soon to be seven.
Lindsey smiled nervously at us. She was so cute trying to be grown up. As the oldest, she clearly felt responsible.
"Okay, so me and Ayla have been talking about this a lot lately and then last night, we told Maggie and she thought it was a good idea, so we talked to Aunt Nancy about it today while we were shopping."
"And Aunt Nancy said it was a good idea, too." Ayla put in for good measure. She clearly thought there was a chance they were going to get in trouble and was making sure to point the blame somewhere else before they even got started.
"It is a good idea." Maggie insisted, she smiled the mischievous smile that everyone always found so irresistible, "I like it!"
I smiled encouragingly at her, "Then, I'm sure we'll like it, too."
She beamed at me. Ah. She was so cute. Her little bouncy curls. I couldn't help but wonder if either of the twins was going to have curls like that.
Lindsey went on, "Well, we were thinking about the babies coming and we were wondering what they were going to call you." She paused and I thought maybe she was waiting for an answer.
"Linds, the babies won't be talking for a while…"
"Yeah, we know that, but we wanted to know anyways, so we asked Olivia what she calls her moms. She says that she calls Sydney 'Mom' and Mercedes 'Mama.'"
Sara nodded, "We were thinking something along those lines, we hadn't exactly figured that out yet."
"We did." Ayla said firmly.
I raised an eyebrow, curious in spite of myself. I wanted to hear what they had come up with, "You did?"
All three girls nodded.
"So?"
"So, we were thinking that since I already call you," she looked at me, "Mommy and Mom, that it would make the most sense if Sara was Mama. That way it would be less confusing."
Maggie shook her head as if this part had been her idea, she looked at Sara, "Mama!" she said, grinning.
I felt Sara stiffen beside me. I knew what it cost her to hear Maggie say that word. Maggie didn't know she was Sara's biological daughter. Looking at Sara, I saw that she was on the verge of tears. I gripped her hand beside me even tighter. If that made my over-emotional, hormonal, pregnant wife overwhelmed, then what came next was a complete shock. Actually, it was a complete shock to both of us.
I looked at Lindsey, "That makes sense."
"Yeah, well there's another part."
I thought there would be, "Yes?"
"Yeah, well, we thought it would be really confusing for our brothers or sisters if we were always calling you Catherine and Sara..."
I nodded, still not sure where this was going. Sara seemed to have some idea though, because she started to tremble and squeezed my hand. I urged Lindsey to continue.
Lindsey put on a hopeful face, "We were thinking it would be easier if we called you guys Mom and Mama too. Well, I already call you Mommy, Mommy. But if I called Sara 'Mama, it would be more like she was my real Mom and since I always wanted her to be anyway…"
Lindsey trailed off because Sara had started sob. She looked worriedly at Sara and then questioningly at me. Sara had started randomly breaking into tears at inopportune moment a few weeks ago, but this time I think it was validated. I put an arm around Sara's shoulders, "She's okay, sweetie; she just really likes your idea is all." Lindsey's proposition had touched me, too. I could understand why Sara was so choked up, but I was hesitant.
I looked at the girls, "This is really sweet, guys, but are you sure?"
Lindsey and Ayla nodded, "We talked about it a lot." Ayla said.
When Sara regained some control, she looked at Ayla and Maggie, "What about your dads?"
Ayla shrugged, "We love Daddy and Papa," she agreed, "and we miss them. But we've never had a mom before, and now we have two. That's cool."
At that, tears stung my eyes and I wiped at my face.
Maggie jumped off Lindsey's lap and came over to me. She climbed into my lap and touched my face with both hands, "Don't you want to be my Mommy?" she asked.
I hugged her even as tears came down my cheek, "Of course I do, sweetheart." I kissed her cheek and gestured for Ayla to come join us, I winked at Lindsey, "Of course I do," I put an arm around Ayla, "I love you and your sister very much. I just want to make sure you really want to be my little girls. You think you would like that?"
Maggie just kissed my nose and giggled, "Of course, silly. We love you."
"A lot." Ayla added. "Besides, we're adopted now. So we are yours."
I looked at Sara with her arm around our oldest daughter and saw that we were both crying. I leaned over to wipe a tear from her face and Maggie toppled into her lap with a "Whoa!" and a surprised giggle. She placed both her hands on Sara's belly and kissed it, "Hello, babies!" she said. It was her customary greeting every time she came in the room. Whenever she left she would always repeat the process only saying 'goodbye' instead of 'hello'.
Sara ran her fingers through Maggie's curls, "Is that the same for me, too, kiddo?"
Maggie laughed, "Yah!"
Ayla climbed over me to lie on the back of the couch with her head above Sara's, "Sara, even before Daddy and Papa died you were our Mama."
Sara paled, "What?"
Ayla nodded, "Papa said. He said when you signed those papers for us to come and live with you. He said that when he and Daddy decided to have me and Maggie that you helped them. Only boys and girls can have babies together. That's why you look like Maggie and me. You're our Mom like Catherine-" Ayla smiled, "I mean Mommy, is Lindsey's Mommy. We're genetically related. Greg says it means we have the same DNA. Didn't you know that, Sara?"
My heart fluttered, once when I heard the word 'Mommy' on Ayla's lips and realized she was talking about me, and again when I saw the look on my Sara's face.
She had the most serene smile, tears still coming down in buckets, "Yes, sweetheart, I knew that. But I didn't know you did. Why didn't you tell me?"
Ayla quirked her eyebrow in a way so like Sara, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Sara quirked an eyebrow back, "Umm…I guess I wasn't sure that you would be okay with it."
"Why not?"
"Well, I loved your Daddy and Papa very much, and I always wanted you to think of them as your parents."
"I do. But that doesn't mean you can't still be my Mama, does it?"
Sara looked at me, a little surprised with her answer, "No, I guess it doesn't."
It was strange. In the world I grew up in- the sixties and seventies in Western ranch country, a family was designed by the parents. A man and a woman had children, maybe a pet. There were grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles, and they all lived within a two-hour drive. There were no divorces, no stepmothers, no half-brothers or sisters. Just two and a half kids and a hand-chopped Christmas tree.
In the world Sara grew up in- the seventies and eighties in central California, a family was designed by one's lifestyle. Maybe people got married, maybe they didn't; maybe they had three kids together and then went their separate way. Your aunts and uncles might not be related to you, they were just good friends of your parents. You might not ever meet you grandparents because they live on the other side of the country. Or, if you were like Sara, maybe you didn't have a real family until you were twenty-five years old.
Our children were growing up in a world where the word family could mean whatever you wanted it to. There were six different genetic contributors in our family. Two of our daughters had four parents. Two were dead, but that didn't make them any less important. Ayla and Maggie would always carry a part of Matt and Warren, as Lindsey would always carry a part of Eddie.
I was only blood-related to three fifths of my children and I had only given birth to one of the five. Sara had spent the first few years of her biological children's lives as their aunt and only seeing them every few months. Lindsey hadn't met her eight and four year-old sisters until she was eleven. She had only known one of her mothers since she was eight. At eleven, with only seven years of childhood left, she had only just gained a responsible, loving second parent.
And the babies. The babies would come into this world and know only the life they were born into. For them, this whole thing would be your everyday, average family. What's strange about having two moms? And plenty of kids get half their DNA from complete strangers. A bunch of them probably have a half-sister who's twelve years older than them, two sisters that share no part of their genetic code whatsoever, and a mother who also has no genetic ties to them but did incubate them in her uterus for the better part of a year. Plus a twin brother or sister. Sure. That happens all the time. Or at least that's what my two youngest children would think.
These days, a family could mean anything, could be comprised of anyone and everyone. Lindsey and me by ourselves were a family. The CSI team is a family, in its way. Sara and Matt and Warren and Tim and Larry were a family. Families can have one parent or two, but they can also have five or none. Families can be mixes of religions, ethnicities, genders, sexualities, and ages. Our children live with two parents and at least two sisters and two undetermined. See? They aren't that out of the ordinary.
Our children are growing up in a very different world from the one either Sara or I knew as children. They live in a world where you never stop to think before assuming that you can have two parents and then decide to add your biological mother and her wife to the list.
A part of me loved that they thought like this- that they were adopting us as much as we were adopting them. But a part of me worried, too. I knew that even though there were other families like ours, we were in no way the norm in any part of the world. I worried for my children and my wife. We had chosen a hard route.
"So, does that mean you like our plan?" Lindsey interrupted
Sara wiped her eyes and pulled Lindsey over so that we were all squished onto the couch, "We love your plan, sweetie. In fact, we think it's the best plan ever!" She tickled my daughter- our daughter, playfully.
Lindsey giggled and slid to the floor. Soon it was an all out tickle war- Sara and I against the girls. Afterward we put in their favorite movie- Homeward Bound, and stayed up late playing games and eating junk. That night, when we finally got them into bed, I heard Lindsey whisper 'Goodnight, Mama' to Sara and I almost cried. When I kissed Maggie and she told me, 'Sweet dreams, Mommy,' I actually did burst into tears.
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A couple of weeks later, I ran into one of my old friends from my dancing days. A friend who, like me, was one of the few that got out of the business just in time. Shauna told me that she and her husband had moved out to Oregon for a few years and were now back. They had two kids. She had gotten her bachelor's degree and was now an accountant.
She asked about me, asked if I was still married to Eddie. The question surprised me because I hadn't been around anyone who didn't know about the divorce in so long.
"No," I told her, "That was over a long time ago."
"I heard from Bevy awhile back and she said you had a baby."
"Yeah, Lindsey. She's eleven now, and really becoming a teenager. My wife told me yesterday that she was invited to her first boy-girl party."
"Wife?" She asked and I paused.
It hadn't even occurred to me to not say anything about Sara. Since we got engaged, I never hide our relationship. Not that I did before, but I used to keep it on the quiet side. But I had nothing to fear from this woman. In our dancing days, we had had more than a few wild times. Instead of explaining, I pulled out the digital camera Sara had gotten me for my birthday and showed her the pictures I had taken that weekend of all of us at the butterfly garden with Nick and Greg.
"Yeah, my wife, Sara," I said, showing her a photo of Sara.
It was a great shot; she was smiling a huge smile straight at the camera and there were two butterflies in her hair and one on her shoulder.
"She's beautiful."
"I know. She's amazing." I grinned.
"You know, I always thought you would end up with a woman. I couldn't believe it when you and Eddie tied the knot. I'm glad you've found someone to make you happy."
"Thanks. Yeah, we're all really happy."
"All?"
"Mhmm."
I changed the screen to show a picture of Lindsey with Maggie on her shoulders and Ayla right next to her pointing to something off camera.
"These are our three girls; Lindsey's the blonde, Maggie's the little one- she's four, and Ayla's the one that looks just like Sara, she's eight."
"Oh, Cathy, they're just gorgeous."
I beamed with pride, "Thanks, they're great girls."
"Wow. Three kids. Your wife must be a saint. We love Alexis and Kyle, but I don't think Bill or I could handle another one," Shauna shook her head, "we're just too exhausted."
I grinned, "Actually…" I put away the camera and reached into my bag for the photo I kept there.
Ever since we found out Sara was pregnant, I had taken to keeping a photo of her and the girls with me at all times. People kept asking how they were, and since Sara's body was changing so fast, I tried to update the photo every couple of weeks.
This one was only a week old, from our latest outing with Olivia, Sadie, and Sydney. On one side, Ayla and Maggie were smiling from a picnic blanket, their faces covered in peanut butter and jelly. Sara was on the other side, leaning against a tree and watching them fondly.
Her body was perfectly profiled and her hand rested protectively on her very round belly. She looked beautiful, all glowing like that. I never could quite get over that we were having babies together. Every time I saw her I got this fluttering feeling in my stomach.
I handed the photo over to Shauna, "I took that a week ago." I said.
"Oh, my gosh, Cathy, four kids? That's amazing. She looks about ready to pop. When's she due?"
"Not for another three months; we're having twins."
Shauna's jaw dropped. "Seriously?"
I couldn't keep the proud look off my face that day, "Yep. Five. It's going to be great. Sara's doing really well with the pregnancy and the girls are really excited."
"Wow. Well, I- congratulations, I guess. I would die before trying to raise five kids, but if you're happy, then that's really great."
"Thanks. You know, why don't you come by sometime? Sara's been looking for an excuse to buy a water slide. She says it will be fun for the girls, but I think she just wants one for her self. Come hang out, bring the kids and Bill and we'll make a day of it."
"Yeah? That would be great. We've been trying to meet people with kids since we moved back, you know, so Alexis and Kyle can make new friends, but it's so tough in the summertime."
"Here, why don't you take my card? It has my email. Just write whenever you want to get together. After week thirty, we'll be on baby alert, but we'll be around."
"Great! I'm glad I ran into you. Hope everything goes well with the babies."
"Thanks, I'm sure everything will be fine."
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