Super Smash Exams
"It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack…" I say in a creepy tone of voice.
"What's back?" Ron Host asked.
"The story you idiot!" I shout.
"Oh right." Ron responded.
"Anyways, with the full roster of Super Smash Bros. Brawl having been confirmed, I figured I'd just get to a good stopping point on another story I was working on, and get to this one." I explain to you guys.
"Oh well isn't that swell? I get more chapter time." Ron said.
"Hey, this story isn't about you, now do the disclaimer and leave!" I order.
"You're so mean…" Ron said. "Disclaimer: The author doesn't own the Smash Bros. or any other video-game characters that appear here. He does own me, and a few original characters in this story." Ron disclaimed. "Now… I need to go nurse my wounded self-esteem. Boo hoo hooooooo!"
"Wait, Ron come back!" I shout before running after him.
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Teams
Everyone was downstairs eating breakfast quietly. Even Yoshi and Kirby seemed to be eating slowly even though they wolfed down more food than anyone else was. Finally Falco stood up with a start.
"What's wrong Falco?" Fox asked.
"I can't take this anymore! Where are Master Hand and Crazy Hand!?" Falco shouted.
"Didn't you see the note they left?" Zelda asked.
"What note?" Falco asked.
"That-a note." Luigi said as he pointed to a note on a giant piece of paper taped above the doorway.
"Huh? How long has that been there?" Falco asked. "Uh… Dear Smashers, we have to settle more details about the exams, namely making sure the entrants are in order. Do whatever you feel like you need to do." He read out loud.
"Wait… there's some tinier writing underneath the rest of the note." Ness pointed out.
"Hold on, I can make it out." Falco said. "P.S. We also need to get more giant paper."
"Where do you buy giant paper?" Roy asked.
"Don't ask me." Samus said.
"Hmmm… but what should we do?" Link asked.
"Maybe we should pick our teams now." Peach suggested.
"Now?" The Ice Climbers and Y. Link asked.
"Peach has a good-a point-a." Mario said, rubbing his chin. "We won't-a be Smashers in-a three days, and-a the day after is-a the Exam day."
"You know, since we won't be Smashers we won't be allowed to stay in the mansion either." Snake said.
"We've had guests before though haven't we?" Roy asked.
"Guests… but for temporary staying." Mewtwo said. "We can't live here after three days and they might need to rebuild the mansion to add accommodations for new Smashers if more make it in than before."
"Right." Marth agreed.
"Yoshi…"
"Pika…"
"Okay, so let's decide teams then." Fox said.
"Then we can focus on finding places to stay." C. Falcon said.
"Pichu."
And so, after discussing it amongst themselves, they all decided on the following teams.
Team Mushroom – Mario, Luigi, Peach
"I'm-a glad you-a let me join-a you guys-a." Luigi sighed in relief.
"Of course-a Luigi. You're-a my brother after all-a." Mario said.
"Kind of like the old days right?" Peach asked.
"That's-a right-a." Both Mario brothers agreed when they thought of their days in Sub-Con.
"Except Toad isn't here…" Peach added.
"True…"
Team Brawn – Wario, Bowser, DK
"Hey Bowser." Wario started.
"Yeah?" Bowser asked.
"You have a problem with Mario too right?" Wario asked.
"Oh boy do I…" Bowser growled. Then a chandelier landed on top of him. "OUCH!!! What was that for?"
"Well, bad luck aside, since we both have a problem with Mario, what say we join forces and keep him from passing?" Wario suggested.
"Oh yes…" Bowser agreed with an evil grin. "What about our third person though?"
"Um… hey DK! You have a problem with Mario right?" Wario shouted.
"Nuh-uh…"
"You don't? What about the whole Toy Company thing?" Bowser asked.
"Oo oo ooooo oo."
"Bah… bygones schmygones… a problem is a problem." Wario said.
"No."
"We have bananas!" Bowser said, holding up a bushel of bananas.
"OK!!!" DK was sold instantly.
Team Sort of Starfox – Fox, Falco, Yoshi
"Ok Fox… you and me on the same team, I can understand that. But why Yoshi?" Falco asked.
"Yoshi!" Yoshi gave the victory hand sign.
"Because Yoshi could be quite the asset for us, he's fast, and he's pretty strong. We need teammates who can keep up with us." Fox said.
"But he's not even in any of our games." Falco pointed out.
"Yoshi…" He sighed dejectedly.
"Oh great… you made him depressed. Nice going Falco." Fox scolded.
"Wha? But it's true!"
Team Triforce – Link, Zelda, Ganondorf
"Okay Zelda… you and me on the same team, I can understand that. But why Ganondorf?" Link asked.
"Mua ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Ganondorf laughed maniacally.
"Okay I know it looks odd… but he is very strong." Zelda said.
"With my power you losers are guaranteed to pass!" Ganondorf boasted.
"I don't need you to pass big nose!" Link told him.
"Care to repeat that pointy ears?" Ganondorf asked.
"Big nose!"
"Pointy ears!"
"Big nose!"
"Pointy ears!"
"ARG!!!" The two tackled each other and began beating each other up.
"Maybe this was a bad idea…" Zelda noted to herself.
Team Awesome – Y. Link, Ness, Ice Climbers
"Who picked our team name?" Ness asked as he broke the fourth wall and looked at the text above.
"I did! Cool isn't it?!" Y. Link asked.
"Yeah!" The Ice Climbers agreed.
"Eh well… at least I'm on the same team as you guys." Ness shrugged. "And we're guaranteed to pass like this!"
"Yeah!"
Team Star – Meta-Knight, Pit, Kirby
"I'm glad to join the same team as you Sir Meta-Knight!" Pit said.
"Meta-Knight will do fine Pit, we're friends after all." Meta-Knight said. "And your long range abilities will be a welcome addition to the party."
"Thank you." Pit said.
"Pyo pyo!"
"Thank you too Kirby." Pit said.
Team Hunter – Samus, C. Falcon, Solid Snake
"This is a solid team. Snake's expertise, my long range combat skills and…" Samus began.
"My awesomness!" C. Falcon interrupted.
BAM
"And C. Falcon's strength and speed…" Samus continued after slamming C. Falcon's head against the table to stop him from interrupting. "… we stand a good chance of passing."
"Right, we just need to keep our eye on the objective." Snake said.
Team Pokémon – Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Pichu
"Pika pika!"
"Jiggly Jiggly!"
"Pichu Pichu!"
"Pikachu." He said with an approving nod.
"Jigglypuff." She said happily.
"Pichu!" He shouted. The other two glared at him. "Pi?"
"Pika..."
"Jig…"
Team Absolute – Mewtwo, Marth, Roy
"Ha ha! With me, Marth, and Mewtwo we'll pass for sure!" Roy said.
"I'm curious though Mewtwo, why'd you join up with us?" Marth asked.
"Everyone else was picked." Mewtwo said.
"Hey!!!"
Meanwhile...
Somewhere in Smash Town there was a large area of somewhat old looking buildings that resembled a college campus. Outside the front doors of the largest building there was a massive line of people. A pair of wire frames came out of the door and held up three fingers each. The next three teams then walked in to the building.
"And you guys are..." Ron asked. Ron, Master Hand, and Crazy Hand were sitting (or floating) behind a table with clipboards in front of them. Ron was looking at three wimpy looking nerds with large glasses, bowl cuts, and school-boy uniforms that were standing in front of him. "Is there anything different about you guys?"
"Yes." All three of them said. The turned to the side to reveal arm bands that had different numbers on them. They read 1, 2, and 3.
"Okay... names please." Ron said.
"Those are our names."
"One two and three?"
"Yep. And our team name is..." All three of them gave a thumbs-up. "The Sony Boys!!!"
"Okay then..." Ron jotted the name down despite being thoroughly creeped out.
"We specifically said teams of three." Master Hand was telling someone as nicely as possible. The kid was wearing sneakers, blue jeans, a matching red jacket and hat, and a yellow backpack. His hat had a white poke' ball emblem on it.
"But this kid could be a team by himself practically."
"Telepath?" Master Hand asked the guy next to the Pokémon trainer. The figure he was referring to had a yellow torso with a white spike coming from the chest, he was rather fox like in appearance except that his legs and arms were blue while the hands and feet were black. His head was also blue with a broad black stripe going around and over his head.
"Well… I'm not psychic but I can communicate telepathically." He responded.
"I have three Pokémon. We'll be fine like this." The trainer said.
"Well… I guess we can make an exception like this… names please." Master Hand instructed.
"I don't know about pirates joining up… it could be scary." Crazy hand was telling the three people in front of him. A guy and two girls, the guy had on blue clothes and a lens in the style of an eye-patch over his right eye while one girl had orange hair in two large pigtails, a yellow glove on her left hand, and a yellow skirt. The last girl had on a bandana and dress.
"But we're Blue Rogues…" Aika groaned.
"Crazy just sign them up already!" Master Hand shouted from the other side of the room. "We know them anyways!"
"Oh yeah…" Crazy Hand said. "Names please."
"But you know who we are…" Vyse sighed.
The next day…
"Hmmmm… now where to stay…" Fox wondered. He, Falco, and Yoshi were walking down the street looking at brochures for homes.
"This is nuts… I mean some of the guys already found places to stay." Falco said.
"Yoshi."
"You're right, you do have to wonder how that's working out for them." Fox agreed.
Meanwhile…
"Wow…" DK said. They were in the apartment they rented yesterday. It was actually pretty nice looking, three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a large living room and kitchen area.
"Eh… it's no mansion." Wario said. "But it was cheap."
"You have to wonder why it was so cheap… but who cares?" Bowser added.
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK
"Oooooooohhhh…" DK groaned.
"We have a yapping dog next door?" Wario asked.
"Hey! Quiet mutt!" Bowser yelled as he banged on the wall. Then a dog that looked something like a Chihuahua burst through the wall and latched on to Bowser's nose. "AAAAAAAHHH!!! Get it off!!!"
Meanwhile…
"Okie-dokie… we're all set-a." Mario said as he walked up to Luigi and Peach, both of whom were at a coffee house.
"That's-a pretty good-a." Luigi said, passing Mario and extra cup. Peach had her own tea.
"You know… it's going to be rough." Peach said. "I mean… we have to compete with our friends too…"
"Yeah…" Both brothers sighed.
"Uh-oh… Mario…" Luigi pointed behind Mario.
"What-a?" Mario asked.
"MARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"Oh no…" Mario sighed. He turned around in his seat to find a koopa troopa wearing an eggshell on his head and lower body.
"That's right Mario! It's Jr. Troopa! And I'm going to have my revenge at long last!!!" Jr. Troopa shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Don't-a tell me you-a signed up-a for the exams-a." Mario groaned as he slapped his face.
"Got that right!!! And I'll be sure to beat you up! REVEEEEEEEENGE!!!" Jr. Troopa then ran off yelling at the top of his lungs.
"Wait… but-a who are-a his partners-a?" Luigi asked.
"Mua ha ha ha ha ha! With the Troopa that is Junior, and the Bowser that is Junior, I shall reign supreme over these exams of Smash!!!" Came the shouts of a green guy in a red cape.
"Isn't that Fawful?" Peach asked as all three of them stared wide-eyed.
"Mua ha ha ha ha!" Fawful laughed at them. "These exams that I have entered are the bread of a great sandwich, and my entrance is the mustard on that sandwich… the mustard of your doom!!!" Fawful shouted. "I have fury!!!" Fawful then ran off.
"Mama-mia…" Luigi sighed.
Meanwhile…
"Sheesh this place has gotten full since the exams were announced." Link commented. He and Zelda were walking down the street noticing the large number of people walking about. Usually in groups of three.
"Smash Dimension has always been a home for different people, but even this is quite a variety." Zelda noted.
"Relocate inferior life-forms."
"Hm?" Link and Zelda turned around to see three large robots behind them. They had a similar construction in that they had somewhat square bodies with small ridges for looks. Their forearms and shin area were a bit more round while their heads had a visor. One robot was black, another was white, and the largest one was even more black than the first one. All three of them had a green X on their chests.
"Who are you?" Zelda asked.
"Response: This unit is X-bot 360 E, unit 01 is X-bot, and unit 02 is X-bot 360." The largest one answered.
"Ooooooookay then." Both of them said as they stepped aside to let them by.
Meanwhile…
"Man I'm glad that Samus got us an apartment." Ness sighed.
"Yeah it would have been tough for a bunch of kids to get one." Popo noted. The four of them were in a single bedroom that had a large toy chest, two mats on the floor, and a bunk bed. Y. Link and Nana were looking out the window.
"Hey who's that?" Nana asked pointing to two short figures. Both of them were wearing astronaut outfits with antennae on them, one of them was somewhat shorter with a rounder head and red on his outfit while the other was taller and had blue on his outfit.
"No clue." Y. Link said.
"Who is it?" Ness asked as he joined them at the window with Popo. "Hmmm… those helmets are made of something that blocks my mind-reading."
"Oh…"
"This isn't good Louie, if we don't find a third person we can't enter." The shorter one said.
"Sorry Captain Olimar." Louie responded.
"Maybe someone would be willing to help?" Olimar suggested looking around.
"Hey!!!" Louie shouted at a kid with blonde hair in a stripped shirt.
"Hm? Uh… me?" The kid responded somewhat nervously.
"…" Ness stared at that kid with interest.
"Louie is walking up to a complete stranger going to really help?" Olimar asked Louie doubtfully.
"Could you lend a hand?" Louie shouted.
"I guess… what for?" The kid asked.
"Oy…" Olimar sighed but gave in. "We need a third partner to enter the exams, would you be willing to help?"
"T-the exams?" The kid stuttered. "Well I thought about entering but I don't think I could…" He said looking away from them.
"Well what can you do?" Louie asked.
"Well…"
"More competitors." Nana commented.
"Yeah…"
It was now the next day, the Smashers had all found a place to stay and were moving in their luggage from the mansion. Others had already taken care of everything and were wandering around Smash Town, hoping to see more of the competition.
"Pyo pyo?" Kirby asked Meta-Knight as he stared at three figures across the street.
"No I don't know why they look somewhat like cartoons." Meta-Knight answered.
"One of them looks like Link." Pit commented.
"Hm… you're right." Meta-Knight added. "Must be another one of those generations of Link Master Hand talked about." He looked at a Link with a green tunic with a cartoon-like appearance.
"Pyo?"
"No I don't know who the other two are." He said as he looked at a girl the same age as the Link that was dressed in pirate clothing. The other one was a boy with dark skin, a beak for a nose, white hair, and what looked like feathers hanging from his arms.
"More people taking the exam?" Pit asked.
"Most likely." Meta-Knight answered.
"PYO!!!" He shouted in surprise.
"What?" Pit asked.
"Meta-Knight!? Is that you?"
"Hm?" Meta-Knight looked in the direction Kirby was looking in to find a penguin in red robes and a hat coming down the sidewalk followed by two guys in armor. "Your majesty? Sword Knight? Blade Knight?"
"It is an honor to see you again Sir Meta-Knight." Both Sword Knight and Blade Knight said as they took a bow.
"Kirby… so you're taking these exams huh?" King Dedede asked in a disgruntled voice.
"Pyo."
"Why are you taking the exams your majesty?" Meta-Knight asked.
"Ha ha! Because what better way to prove that I, King Dedede, am the strongest than to join the Smashers!" He gloated.
"Pyo…"
"Who are you calling lazy!?" King Dedede asked annoyed.
"Please let this meeting end well." Pit prayed.
Meanwhile…
"Don't see why I have to carry all of our luggage to the apartment…" Ganondorf grumbled as he dragged a large sled with even larger boxes behind him, and he didn't seem to be having any trouble with it either.
"Hey Wolf, isn't that one of the Smashers?" A chameleon in dark blue spandex asked.
"Say… you're right Leon." Responded a gray wolf with a cybernetic eye-patch over his left eye, and blue body armor.
"Perhaps we should rouse this one?" Suggested a panther in what looked something like futuristic Spanish light armor and a rose in his hand.
"Hmph… he's not worth our time. Besides, I'm only looking for one Smasher." Wolf said as he started down the street.
"Panther is disappointed." Panther sighed.
"Really… stop talking in the third person, it gets on my nerves." Leon grumbled.
Meanwhile…
"It was nice of you to help the kids get an apartment." C. Falcon told Samus as they walked down the street.
"Well you don't expect kids to actually get an apartment by themselves do you?" Samus asked.
"Nah I guess not." C. Falcon agreed. "Where's Snake?"
"Something about reconnaissance." Samus said.
"Reconnaissance?" C. Falcon asked.
Meanwhile…
A cardboard box was following behind a group of three guys, all of whom had on purple spandex with white vests and white utility belts. They also had on white helmets with visors. They stopped, turned around and stared at the box before shrugging and continuing on.
"Anyways… I'm glad to finally be out of that line." Said the lead one.
"Same here, but now… we are registered!" One of them declared.
"And now that we are registered… THE WII WARIORS WILL PASS THE SMASH EXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS!!!" The last one shouted. "I just shouted didn't I?"
"Yes." The other two sighed. The cardboard box then crept in to an alleyway.
"Pikachu?"
"Pichu…" The three Pokémon were in an alleyway when they spotted a cardboard box. Jigglypuff led the other two up to it. She grabbed the box and lifted it up.
"!!!" All three of them fell backwards when Snake suddenly threw the box off and jumped up. "Show time!" He declared.
Meanwhile…
"Okay… last entrants before we close up registration for good!" Ron Host shouted.
"What… LAST ONES!!!" Came the shouts of several people outside.
"Well yeah we'll need tomorrow to make final preparations." Ron Host said. "Last three teams come in!"
"Oh boy! Monkeys!!!" Crazy Hand shouted as the first team to come in had a monkey in a red shirt and hat, a chimp in a pink outfit with a long blonde ponytail, and what looked like a baby gorilla in blue baby pajamas.
"Crazy Hand, handle the Valuan assassins and forget about the monkeys!" Master Hand shouted as Diddy, Dixie, and Kiddy Kong all walked up to Master Hand. "Hey aren't you guys related to Donkey Kong?"
"Yeah!" Diddy and Dixie shouted.
"Gaaaaaaa…" Kiddy said as he wiggled happily.
"Well let me get your names here…"
"Why do I have to handle the scary assassins…" Crazy Hand sighed as he pushed the clipboard up for three Valuan Assassins to sign their names.
"And you guys are…" Ron Host asked three guys in black tuxedos with various hairdos.
"The Elite Beat Agents are at your service!" The lead one with blonde Ace Ventura hair said as he flashed his badge.
"Why do I always get the nut jobs…" Ron sighed.
Meanwhile…
"Well, that's almost everything." Mewtwo said as he looked over a clipboard with Marth as stuff floated in through the door behind them.
"Yeah, all Roy needs to do is get back here with the couch." Marth said.
"Hngrrrrr…" Roy heaved in the couch and with some difficulty got it through the door. "You know, why didn't you just get this yourself?" Roy asked Mewtwo.
"I was getting other stuff." Mewtwo answered.
"You could have gotten this just as easily!" Roy shouted.
"I guess that's true."
"Ugh…"
The next day…
All of the Smashers were in the mansion gardens, holding on to suitcases that had the last of their belongings. Master Hand and Crazy Hand were floating in front of the mansion.
"Well Smashers… we've had our ups and downs, but all in all we had fun right?" Master Hand asked. A lot of them nodded. Peach, Zelda, and the Ice Climbers were wiping away a few tears, most of the Smashers gave each other depressed looks, and even the tough guys among the Smashers gave heavy sighs.
"Ah what are we blubbering for?" Wario finally broke the silence. "It's not like we're gone for good you wimps."
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!" Crazy Hand yelled to the sky in overly-dramatic despair.
"Smashers, good luck with the exams starting tomorrow, and with that…" Master Hand paused reluctantly. He gave all of the Smashers one last glance, paused again, clenched his fist, and then… "The Super Smash Bros. are… DISMISSED!!!"
"…" The former Smashers all turned toward the gates and slowly walked away, none of them turning to look back at the mansion.
Tomorrow, their trial begins.
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"Whew… that turned out to be longer than I thought." I sigh.
"Next chapter, the teams convene for their first test. What will it be? Find out next update." Ron Host said.