A/N: I know

A/N: I know. I'm horrible. I'm very, very bad. But no complaining, because your super long update has finally arrived! Hooray! It took me long enough, and believe I am just as mad as you- probably more. But what're you going to do? The inspiration just wasn't there.

I would like to thank CatherineWillowsCSI for checking-in and being just generally supportive.

And of course I have to thank Rachel (again) for being my inspiration, giving me fabulous ideas, and kicking my ass into gear with her constant support.

Alright! On with the show!

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It was late morning by the time Sara woke up. I had been so engrossed in my gossip magazine that I didn't realize she was awake until she squeezed my hand. I met her eyes. "Hey, you're up."

She nodded. "Has the doctor been in?"

I shook my head, "Nope. A nurse peaked in, but I asked her to let you sleep. How do you feel?"

"About the same. Groggy, I guess." She smiled mischievously, "Nothing a little lovin' couldn't fix."

"Is that you're way of asking for a kiss?"

"No, it's my way of demanding one. You're here to make me feel better, remember?"

Smiling, I stood and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

"What? No tongue?"

"I think somebody's feeling better."

Sara gave me a mock pout as I sat back. Then she was serious. "So you've seen them?"

I didn't have to ask who 'them' was. I just nodded quietly. "Yeah, I have."

"And? What are they like?"

"Well, they're small, much smaller than Lindsey was, but they're adorable. I got to hold our son." I smiled. "Honey, he's the sweetest little boy."

"What's he look like?"

"Like a newborn baby."

"Does he look like you?"

I shrugged. "It's hard to tell. He's got blonde hair, the same color Lindsey's was when she was born. Wispy. Almost bald."

"And our little girl?"

"I don't know. She was…she was in the incubator, so I couldn't take her hat off." I squeezed her hand. "But she's got the biggest pair of blue eyes that you ever did see."

"Really?"

"She stared up at me when I held her hand and I could just tell that she was a little fighter."
"Takes after her mother."

I swept some hair out of her eyes. "Yeah. She does."

"We have five kids now."

"Yep." I grinned.

"Jesus. What the hell are we going to do with them all?"

"I think we're supposed to raise them, put them through school, stand by them and hopefully instill some sense of morality in them."

"Are we completely nuts?"

"Probably." I smiled. "I love you."

She squeezed my hand and smiled back.

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Kroger came in. "Good Morning, again. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Not at all."

"Well, good, because I come bearing good news. Your daughter is showing some signs of improvement."

I sat up a little straighter and Sara looked more alert.

"Her lungs are a bit stronger, and she's breathing a little more regularly."

"So, she's going to be okay? She's going to pull through?"

The doctor hesitated. "Well, she's still very weak. Her heart and lungs could just as easily go back down again as up. But this is a good sign. Infants that show signs of recovery this early after birth are more likely to survive. Trust me, this is good news."

"Is she still on oxygen?"

He nodded. "For the time being; it's best to be cautious. If she continues to improve, we could have her off oxygen and IV as early as tomorrow."

A weight lifted off my chest. "Thank you."

Dr. Kroger raised his arms, "Don't thank me. She's your daughter and at this point it's all about her will to survive."

"Thank you all the same."

He nodded. "The other reason I came in here was I have a question for you, specifically for Ms. Sidle."

We looked at him expectantly.

"How would you like to meet your son, Ms. Sidle?"

Sara grinned and nodded vigorously. "That would be wonderful."

The doctor smiled at us. "Great. Are you up to it now? Or would you like to get a little more rest?"

"Now." Sara said vehemently. "I don't think I can wait any longer."

"Alright. I'll have a nurse bring him to you. It'll be just a minute." He left.

I looked at Sara, smiling. "Just wait 'til you meet him. He's so perfect, you'll just fall in love with him."

"I already love him. You don't carry somebody around in your uterus for seven and half months and only come out with lukewarm feelings. It just doesn't work that way."

"Okay, smarty pants. But you'll fall in love with all over again. He's…he's our son, Sar." My throat was dry. "We have a son."

"And thank god, too." Sara tried to make me smile. "Can you imagine the hormones in our house with seven women? Of course now this poor boy, four sisters and two moms. Does he have a prayer of coming out anywhere near the vicinity of normal?"

I laughed. "Normal is vastly over-rated. I did 'normal' for a long time and it certainly didn't get me anywhere. Didn't make me happy, that's for sure."

"And now, with your handicapped lesbian luvva and massive wild and crazy brood. Now, you're happy?"

"Immensely." I winked at her.

"Hello?" A woman poked her head around the half open door. "Ms. Sidle and Ms. Willows?" At our nods, the woman smiled. "I've got a special delivery for you." Backing into the room, she pulled with her a wheeled cart.

Sara tried to sit up and hissed in pain.

"Careful honey, don't over do it. That's why the beds are electric and adjustable." I reached over and pushed the button that brought her into the sitting position.

"My hero."

I looked over to see the nurse bending low over the cart and a moment later, standing with a little blue bundle in her arms. She smiled at me, "He was asleep the whole ride down here and as soon as he heard your voices, he was wide awake." She fiddled with his blankets. "He's absolutely precious. Congratulations."

Sara looked like she was about to explode with impatience. "Thank you."

The nurse just continued to coo at our son. "Who wants to go see his mommies? Who does? You do! Say hi, mommies! I've been waiting to meet you for a long, long time."

Sara's fingers were itching and I could tell she was just dying to hold him.

Finally, the nurse approached the bed. "Who's going to hold him first?"

"That would be Mama." I pointed at Sara. "Mom's already gotten to hold him once already."

"Okay," the nurse continued to talk at the baby and not to us. "Let's go see your Mama, little man."

The nurse leaned over and placed our son into Sara's good arm and Sara cradled him as best she could. "Is this how you do it? Am I doing it right?" She looked really nervous.

"You're doing just fine." I stood up and came around to her side so that I could see his face.

"Oh." Sara's voice shook and her voice was so full of awe as she looked down at our son. I rubbed her shoulder soothingly. "Hello."

I looked down at the wriggling bundle in her arms and saw my son awake for the first time. I smiled, "Hey, big guy."

Sara sniffed, "Are his eyes as blue as his sister's?"

I shook my head, "No, they're much darker."

"They'll probably change." The nurse put in. We looked at her, having forgotten she was there.

"What?" Sara asked.

"His eyes. Babies with dark blue or grey eyes, they usually change to light brown or green."

I looked back down at my son. I couldn't stop smiling. Neither could Sara. "Hello, beautiful," she whispered. She looked up at me, grinning like a maniac. "He's perfect."

"See? I told you."

"He's so small and light. Here, can you take off his hat? I want to see his hair."

Carefully, I lifted his head and removed his hat.

Sara laughed. "Cat, he does look like you. He has your ears."

I twisted my head so I could see better. Well, damn. "He does, I didn't notice before. Poor kid."

"What? I love your ears."

"Well, you're the only one. I got teased in school for years about my sticky-out ears."

"Well, I think they're adorable." She smiled down at our baby, "On both of you."

"You're biased."

"Maybe I am. I wish the girls could be here to meet him."

"Well, they're going to come by this afternoon. Maybe we can arrange another visit." I explained to the nurse, "We have three daughters at home, and they've been waiting for a little brother for a very long time."

"They're going to be so excited. They'll be excited about a sister too, but I don't think they can meet her just yet."

"Knock, knock." Dr. Kroger entered the room, grinning when he saw the baby in Sara's arms. "How's it feel to finally meet him?"

"Unbelievable."

"What's his name?"

Sara and I looked at each other. Oh, yeah...

The doctor held back a laugh. "Forgot about that, didn't you?"

Sara looked back down at the baby, "Well, what do you think? Does he look like a Leo, a Simon, or a Charley?"

"Umm…I'm not sure he's any of those." Pulling up my chair, I sat close enough to see the baby's face. "Honey, how do you feel about the name Matthew?"

"Matthew?"

I nodded. "Matthew Warren Sidle-Willows."

Her eyes were watery as she looked at me, "Cath, are you sure? I mean-"

I interrupted her. "Listen. I know we never discussed it, and I know I never met them, but I know how much you love them. And the way I see it, without them, I would have never found the love of my life. And she would have never given me four amazing children. Including a little boy who needs a name. So what do you say?"

Sara looked down at the baby in her arms. He had fallen asleep as we talked. She smiled and bent forward to kiss his head. "Hello, Matthew."

I smiled too and reached out to touch his little arm. "Hi, Matthew. You see? I told you that you had a Mama who couldn't wait to meet you. What do you think? She's pretty cool, eh?"

"You're pretty cool, Matthew." Sara couldn't get enough. Neither could I.

"Ms. Willows, would you like to feed him?"

I looked down and then at the doctor as if he was crazy, "I…can't."

He smiled. "Actually, you can. With Ms. Sidle's injuries and the pain medication she's on, she's unable to breast feed. We've been feeding Matthew, here, from a bottle. I don't think you, Ms. Sidle, could manage Matthew and a bottle, but Ms. Willows, you certainly could. Would you like to give it a go?"

I shrugged, "May as well get used to it, right?"

He laughed. "That's the spirit."

So, Sara reluctantly handed Matthew over and I got to feed him. "Hey, little man, remember me? I'm your Mommy. We're going to be doing a lot of this together. With any luck, we won't be doing it too much at night, though, right?" Cause you'll want to sleep the whole night through."

Sara watched me. "You're wonderful with him."

"So are you."

She shook her head, "Not like you."

"Are you worried?"

"A little. I've never been around babies before. What am I going to do with two?"

I rocked Matthew back and forth. "You're going to do just great. I didn't have any experience with babies when Linds was born. I was never the babysitting type. But I learned. Believe me, I know how corny it sounds, but all you really need is love. Everything else just sort of follows after that." I smiled down at Matthew as he drained the bottle. "Isn't that right, my hungry boy? Tell Mama that everything's going to be alright." I held him up so that Sara could see his face.

She grinned. "Can I hold him again?"

"Sure."

So we took turns holding him for the better part of an hour. But after a while both Sara and Matthew Warren were fading fast and it was time for a nap for both of them. We kissed our son goodbye, and Dr. Kroger assured us that he would be available in the afternoon to meet his big sisters. After that I kissed Sara goodnight and she quickly fell asleep. When I was sure she was sound asleep, I crept out of the room and the hospital to call Nancy and organize the girls' visit. By the time Sara woke up, everybody was already on their way.

I met them outside in the parking lot. Lindsey and Ayla both got out of the car solemn faced, but Maggie ran to me smiling. "Mommy!"

I squatted down to catch her in my arms, "Hey, darlin'." More slowly, the older girls came to me and we had a group hug. "Hey, babies. I've missed you."

"We've missed you too, Mom." Lindsey smiled slightly.

"Look!" Maggie exclaimed, "I brought Bun-bun for Mama to have to make her all better."

Bun-bun was Maggie's stuffed rabbit. I smiled. "That's sweet, Mags. I'm sure she'll love it.

"Aunt Nancy says that the babies were born." Ayla spoke up.

I stood and put a hand on her head. She shook it away. "They were."

"But they were born premature."

"That's right."

"So they are probably very small."

"Yes."

"And one of them is sick."

I pulled Ayla into a one armed hug. "Yes, your little sister is very sick."

Ayla nodded, just making sure she had the facts right.

Nancy straightened from the van with Abigail on one hip. She sidled on over to us. "Any news?"

I shook my head. "Sara's doing alright, but there's no word on the baby."

The weather had cooled since I'd last been outside and I saw that Nance had taken the girls home and gotten them all changed into sweaters. I shivered in my short-sleeved shirt and crossed my arms over my chest. Nancy smiled encouragingly.

"Why don't we all head inside?" I reached for Maggie's hand. "I know Mama is going to be excited to see all of you."

The girls looked unsure, but Lindsey nodded and led the way.

"Mom?" Ayla hung onto my other arm.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Is Mama going to be okay?"

"Yep. It's going to take a little while, but she's going to make a full recovery."

We boarded the elevator in relative silence.

"Mom?" This was Lindsey. "What does Mama look like?"

"She looks like she always does. She has her right arm in a sling and she looks tired, but otherwise, she looks the same."

"Can we touch her?" Ayla asked hesitantly.

"Yes, you can. As long as you're very gentle. And we can't touch her shoulder or her leg where the bullets went in, or her stomach because that's where the babies came out."

Ayla frowned and I knew what she was thinking. "Mama had what's called a c-section, it's a surgery the doctors perform when they need to get babies out really fast. They cut into the mother's stomach and pull the babies out."

"Oh." Ayla seemed pacified.

We got off the elevator and I waved at the nurse who was on duty as we passed by. We paused outside Sara's door.

"Are you sure we can touch her?" Lindsey asked. "I don't want to hurt her."

"You won't hurt her, just be careful."

I felt someone pulling at my jeans and I looked down. Maggie looked up at me worriedly. "What is it, sweet pea?"

"I don't want to go."

"What? Why not?"

She shrugged.

"I don't want to go either." Lindsey said. Ayla shook her head in agreement.

"Why not? What is wrong with you guys?"

"What are we supposed to say?"

"What if I hurt her?"

"I'm scared." Maggie's lip quivered.

I sighed and looked at Nancy for help. She gave me a sympathetic smile. I knelt down on the hard floor to be closer to my kids. "Look, all you have to say is that you love her and that you're glad she's okay. And you won't hurt her. She'll tell you the moment something hurts." I pulled Maggie to me and kissed her cheek. "And there's no reason to be scared." I assured her. "It's just Mama. But if you want, I can carry you until you're ready to say hello. How does that sound?"

"Bun-bun, too?"

"Yes, I'll carry Bun-bun, too."

"Okay."

Lifting Maggie onto my hip I realized that she was going to have to get used to walking very soon; she wasn't the baby anymore. Opening the door, I knocked on the wall. Sara turned her head away from the TV and smiled as she saw me.

"Hey there."

"I brought you a little company."

"I see that." She looked past me. "Hey, guys. Come on in."

I looked over my shoulder and saw the older girls clustered by the door. "Come on, don't be shy."

Bravely, it was Lindsey who approached the bed first. "Hi, Mama. How are you feeling?"

Sara reached her right hand out and pulled Lindsey closer to her. "Much better now that you're here."

"Do you hurt?" Ayla asked, edging closer.

"A little. The doctors have me on some medication that takes the pain away."

There was an awkward silence in which both girls looked at the ground.

Sara looked at me questioningly and I shrugged. "Well, come here and give me a hug, you monsters. I've been waiting to see you all day."

This seemed to break the ice a bit and both Lindsey and Ayla gently leaned over and put their arms around Sara.

"Geez, I'm not going to break," Sara joked. "Hug me like you mean it." Lindsey snuggled into Sara's chest and began to shake. Sara rubbed her back with her good arms, "Hey, now. What's all this?"

Lindsey mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What?"

Linds lifted her head up. "I said I was so scared that you were going to die." There were tears streaming down her face.

Sara wiped at the tears as best she could. "I was scared too. But you know what?"

Linds shook her head.

"I'm okay. I'm going to be alright. Everything's going to be just fine."

Maggie, who up until now had kept her face pressed against my neck, turned around to peak at Sara for the first time. "Mama?" Her voice was tiny and unsure.

Sara looked up from the older girls and smiled, "Hello, Miss Maggie May."

"Mama!" Out of nowhere, she just started to ball and I remembered that she had actually seen Sara bleeding out on the asphalt. She opened her arms to Sara and reached for her, nearly throwing my back out. Gently, I lay her on the bed so that she could hug Sara.

Sara kissed the top of her head and wrapped an arm around her. "Shh. It's okay. I'm right here."

"Mama!" Maggie continued to wail. This got Lindsey crying again and even Ayla, who rarely cried, was visibly upset.

Sara snuggled with them for a minute. Once they were calmed down, she said, "Well, now that you've seen that I'm okay, who wants to meet their baby brother?"

"Me!" Maggie exclaimed, sitting up suddenly.

Sara winced visibly.

"Are you okay?" Lindsey asked.

Sara managed a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Cath? Can you get the doctor so that we can get Matthew down here again?"

"Matthew?" Nancy spoke up from the doorway. "Is that his name? I don't remember that being on the list."

"It wasn't," I heard Sara begin to explain, "But Catherine…" Her voice faded as I stepped past my sister and into the hall. I went to the nurse's station and a phone call and a few minutes later, a nurse emerged from the elevator with the same wheeled cart. I immediately approached her. "Can I carry him in?"

She looked at me like I was crazy.

"I'm his mother." I quickly explained. "He's my son."

This seemed to pacify her, because she nodded.

I leaned in and picked him up. "Hey, little guy. I've missed you." I bounced him in my arms as I headed down the hall. The nurse with the cart followed behind me. "Guess what? You're about to meet all of your big sisters. Remember how I told you about them? They're all really excited to meet you." I shifted him into one arm so I could open the door. "Ready? Here we go. Hey, guys. Guess who's here?"

All faces turned towards me. My sister and Sara smiled, while the girls watched me with curiosity and excitement. "Is that Matthew, Mommy?" Maggie asked, clambering to the end of the bed so she could get a better look at the blankets in my arms.

"It sure is." I headed over to the chair that was by the bed and sat down so everyone could get a closer look. "Lindsey, help your sister off the bed so she can come meet her brother."

Lindsey obliged, carefully lifting Maggie off the bed, cautious to avoid Sara's injuries. Then she hastily placed her on the ground and bounded over to look over my shoulder. "He's awfully small, isn't he, Mom?"

"Well, that's what happens when babies are born early."

I felt Nancy's hand on my shoulder, "Oh, Cath, he's gorgeous. He looks a bit like Lindsey when she was born."

"He does?" Linds wanted to know.

"Wait 'til you see his sister. She looks so much like Lindsey it's scary. Except much smaller. Linds was nearly eight pounds and her sister's not even four."

Sara frowned. "You never told me that."

I smiled sadly at her and nodded. "She's pretty tiny. But she's adorable. I can't wait until you all get to meet her."

"What's her name?" Nance asked.

I shrugged, "She doesn't have one yet. I think we should wait until Sara can meet her to name her."

"I already know what her name is." Sara said matter-of-factly.

"Do you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's Catherine."

"Grr." I growled. "You stubborn ox. How many times do we have to go over this?" Matthew started to fuss. "Oh," I bounced him up and down, "What's the matter, little man? Are you hungry? Do you need a bottle? Or what? What's wrong?" But he just continued to cry.

"Can I hold him?" Linds asked.

"I don't know Linds, he's being a little fussy."

"That's okay, I'll be really careful, I promise."

I looked at Sara who nodded. "Alright. Here," I stood up. "Sit down and I'll hand him to you."

Linds complied and I carefully placed her brother in her lap. She held him gently and grinned when he immediately stopped crying. "Hi, Matthew. I'm Lindsey and I'm your biggest sister. I'm the tallest and the oldest. I'm going to take really good care of you. Soon I'll be old enough to baby-sit you all by myself."

"Not that soon." Sara disputed.

"Soon." Lindsey reassured Matthew. She looked up at me. "This is so cool. He's so cute. But I don't think he looks like me. I don't have sticky-out ears."

Sara and Nancy laughed.

I reprimanded. "You are not allowed to tease him about those ears. That goes for all of you."

Maggie pulled her ears out with her fingers, looking like a monkey, she laughed. "Funny ears."

"What did I just say?"

"No teasing about ears." Maggie replied diligently, letting her ears go and putting her hands behind her back.

"That's right."

"I still say they're cute." Sara smiled lovingly at me and I smiled back.

"They are cute." Encouraged Nancy. "On babies at least. On forty year-old women though…" She cracked a grin. "Well, Dumbo here will tell you, life ain't easy."

"Hey! Mom made you promise never to call me that ever again!"

"Yeah, in like third grade."

"Ever again means ever again!"

"Dumbo?" Maggie questioned. "I love Dumbo!" She flapped her hands excitedly beside her ears. "He flies." This made everyone smile.

"Can I hold Matthew now?" Ayla spoke up from her position by Sara's shoulder.

"No! I just got him."

"Nah-uh. You've had him forever."

"Nah-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Nah-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Girls! Lindsey let your sister hold the baby."

"But Mom…"

"Trust me, Linds. When we get home, there will be so many opportunities to hold him that you'll be sick of it."

Lindsey rolled her eyes but handed Matthew to me and stood up to let Ayla take her place.

Ayla just loved holding the baby. I could tell it made her feel very grown up and special. She spoke to him so softly that none of us could hear but whatever she said seemed to content him because he yawned, squeaked and promptly fell asleep.

"Okay, my turn!" Maggie decided after she felt Ayla had held him for long enough. Graciously, Ayla returned the baby to me and moved aside to allow Maggie to jump up in the seat.

"Now, Mags, you have to be really careful with Matthew. You don't want to squeeze him too hard or drop him. You have to be really gentle."

"Okay, okay." She kicked her feet back forth. "I'm ready!"

I had to smile. "Okay, okay. You're ready."

Maggie was over the moon about holding Matthew. She kept scrunching up her face and giggling and then kissing his head. Soon, Matthew was fast asleep and Nancy said she had to get going. She hugged me and kissed Sara on the cheek, wishing us congratulations and Sara to get well soon. I took Matthew from Maggie and put him in Sara's arms because she looked like she could use a fix.

Lindsey wanted to know if they could meet their little sister but I told her not yet. Truthfully, I didn't want to scare them by letting them see all of the machines and tubes, plus I wasn't sure that the doctor would allow three noisy children into the PICU.

After a while, the girls started to wilt and I realized that I would need to leave Sara and take them home. I was hoping that my mother would baby-sit for awhile that evening so that I could come back to Sara, but I hadn't actually asked her yet. She hadn't called to see if Sara was okay and I didn't know how to take that.

Taking Matthew from Sara, I placed him in his little cart. Sara, too, looked like she was beginning to fade. "Hon? I'm going to take the girls home now, okay? We're all pretty tired and I think they could use some downtime."

Sara nodded, wearily. "Will you come back today?"

"Tonight. I'm going to try."

She nodded again and then smiled at the girls. "Alright, everybody get over here and give me a goodnight hug and kiss. I probably won't see you until after school tomorrow."

"School?" Lindsey protested. "But we didn't have to go to school today. Can't we just miss one more day?"

"Not on my account, kiddo. But just think. When you go to school tomorrow you can tell everyone all about your new brother and sister."

"Oh, yeah. That will be cool. Olivia will be so jealous. She really wants a little sister, but her moms say that they aren't going to have anymore babies. And now I have three little sisters and a little brother. She's going to be just so jealous."

Sara and I exchanged smiles. "Alright, guys, kiss Mama goodbye so we can go." All three girls crowded around the bed and took their turns saying goodbye. When they were done, I took my turn. I took Sara's head in my hands and kissed her lightly.

But she brought her good hand up into my hair and deepened the kiss. "I love you," she whispered.

I rested my forehead against hers. "I love you, too. And I'll be back before you know it, okay? I won't leave you by yourself."

She nodded and kissed me again, gently this time.

"Are you two done being gross now?" Lindsey was at the door waiting expectantly.

"Absolutely not!" Sara grinned and kissed me hard.

"Eww!" Lindsey made a face. "Parents are not supposed to kiss like that!"

"Of course they are. Believe me, you would be very sad if you had the kind of parents who never kissed."

"I like it!" Maggie argued, kissing the air.

"Good, I'm glad. It's time to go." I squeezed Sara's hand and headed towards the door."

"Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you move him a little closer to the bed? Just so I can see him?"

"Absolutely." I wheeled Matthew's cart over until it was pressed up against Sara's bed. "There." I leaned over the cart and laid a kiss on his forehead. "Goodbye, little one. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Matthew!" Maggie called.

"Bye, Matthew." The older girls chorused.

I smiled at the mother of my children who smiled right back. With a final wave and a blown kiss, we were out the door. I immediately missed my wife and son and it was hard not to turn around and go sit vigil with them. But I was tired. We were all tired. And it was time to go home.

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I had forgotten that we didn't have a car, so once we were outside, I had to call a cab and we ended up waiting for over half an hour for it to show up. The ride home was silent because all three girls immediately fell asleep. I just stared out the window thinking and trying not to think about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I was an exhausted mess. I couldn't wait to just hop in the shower and then into bed. But first I had to see to the girls.

Arriving home, I woke the two older girls and pulled Maggie into my arms to carry her up the front steps. I gave the keys to Lindsey only to find that the door was already open. Had we forgotten to lock it on our way out the day before? I didn't think so. I stepped inside and much to my surprise immediately smelled someone cooking in the kitchen. Someone cooking something very, very good. Though, having not eaten in the last twenty-four hours, just about anything would have smelled good to me.

Moving into the kitchen I was greeted by another surprise. "Mom?"

"Nana!" There was my mother wearing an apron she must have brought from home because I certainly did not own one.

"Mom?" I questioned again.

"Hello, dear."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm cooking you dinner, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"I…I don't know." I was still stunned to see her standing there.

"Catherine, you look a mess."

There was the mother I knew and loved. "Yeah. Thanks, Mom." I was still carrying Maggie, and her dead weight was starting to take it's toll. "Look, Mom, I'm going to go put her down. Can you just watch the other two for a minute?"

"Of course, dear."

"Thanks."

"While you're upstairs, why don't you bathe and change your clothes? Dinner should be ready by the time you're done."

All I could do was nod my head in exhaustion as I headed out of the room.

The feeling of the hot water felt amazing on my skin. I felt like I could wash away not only the blood and grime of the day before but also flush away the actual events along with them. Stepping out of the shower I felt a million times better. I was still tired, but getting clean had completely turned my mood around. Now I just had to deal with my mother and figure out what in the world she was doing here.

Stepping through the dining room, I found the table set. I could see through to the living room that the girls had passed out watching a movie. And my mother was still hard at work in the kitchen. I leaned in the doorway. "What's for dinner?"

Mother looked up from the stove. "Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots, and if it's okay with you, chocolate cake for dessert."

My stomach rumbled. This is what I had had for dinner every year on my birthday when I was growing up. "Sounds delicious."

"Yes, well, I figured you could use a little comfort food."

"Thank you."

"When Nancy called me, I figured you might need a little help, so just let myself in." She looked at me. "I was sort of expecting a call from you."

I flushed guiltily. "I'm sorry. Things were just so hectic. I only called Nancy so that she could come and take the girls. I should have called. But I didn't know how you'd react. I know you don't exactly like Sara…"

My mother looked shocked. "Catherine Flynn! I can't believe you just said that. Sara and I may have our differences but I would never wish her any harm. Besides, she is or rather was carrying my grandchildren. And I would never want anything to happen to them."

I ducked my head. "I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't. I'm just tired. And everything's a mess. I don't know how to handle it all. How am I going to do this? How can I take care of the girls and stay with Sara and look after the babies and what about work? With Sara injured…I…"

And then my Mom did something she hasn't done since I was a little girl. She pulled me into her arms and cradled my head against her chest. "Hush. Everything's going to be okay now. The worst part is over and everyone survived."

And suddenly, in my mother's arms, the day caught up with me, and I began to shake with what was left of my tears. I returned her embrace and I sobbed. And she just held me. She stroked my hair shushed me like she hadn't done in thirty years. And I found comfort in it. I don't know how long we stood there, but after a while, I was no longer crying. But she didn't let go.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" I stood up straight to find Ayla in the doorway. Wiping at my eyes, I smiled at her. "Yeah, baby, I'm fine."

"Why were you crying?"

I squatted down so I could be eye level with her. "I was just a little sad about what happened to Mama. It was really scary, wasn't it?"

She nodded and I pulled her into a hug and stood, lifting her off the ground. She laughed.

I hugged her tighter. "Oh, I love you, kiddo. You know that? You make me happy. You make me not want to cry anymore."

"I love you, too, Mommy." She hugged my neck and kissed my cheek.

I set her down on the ground. "Now, go wake Lindsey up and wash your hands. It's almost time for dinner."

"What about Maggie?"

"I think we'll let Maggie sleep through dinner. She can have leftovers if she wakes up." Ayla skipped off and I turned back to my mother.

She was giving me an odd look.

"What?"

"You really see her as your daughter, don't you?"

I set my jaw. "She is my daughter. Legally and in my heart. She and Maggie are as much my daughters as Lindsey is."

My mother nodded. "Well, if they are my daughter's daughters, I guess that makes them my granddaughters."

I smiled. "Thank you."

Dinner was a quiet affair, though the girls did dig into their chocolate cake. After that I lay down for a two hour nap, when I was up again, my mother willingly volunteered to spend the night with the girls so that I could return to the hospital and Sara. She even offered to take them to school in the morning, if it turned out that I spent the whole night there. I took Sara's car, and was there in no time. I waved to the now familiar nurses at the station and headed down the hall to Sara's room. I knocked quietly on the door but there was no answer.

I opened the door to find Sara asleep and frowning. She was muttering under her breath too. I made my way around the bed and took a seat. I watched her for several minutes, debating whether or not to wake her up. Sara had had a few nightmares at the beginning of our relationship, but they had disappeared pretty quickly. Now, though…was this a nightmare? Or maybe just some intense dream. I knew it was important for her to get her rest.

When she began thrashing, however, I knew she was having a nightmare and I moved to wake her. But it turned out I didn't have to. In the thrashing, she had accidentally moved her right arm and she yelled out with the pain and her eyes flew open. "Sara!"

She looked around wildly. "Cat?"
"I'm here, baby." I tried to take her hand but she pulled back. It hurt, but I knew she was still in shock. She was breathing heavily. "Baby?"

"I'm okay." She said a little too quickly. "I'm fine."

"You were having a nightmare."

She shook her head. "No. No. I'm fine. Don't worry."

I wanted to protest, but I could tell that she really didn't want to talk about it so I let it go. For now. Looking over, I saw that the baby cart was empty. "Where's Matthew?" This question seemed to ground her. She looked sadly at me and then down at her blanket, picking at the hem. "Baby?"

"She, baby Catherine, she got worse again."

My stomach tightened.

"Her lungs stopped working for a little while and they had to put her on ventilator."

I reached out for her hand, and this time she didn't pull away.

"She's stabilized now, but they were really worried for a little while."

"So, where's Matthew?"

"The doctor came in. He said he wanted to try something. He said that sometimes with twins, they do better if they're together. He wants to try keeping Matthew in the incubator with her, to see if it will help her pull through. I said it was fine. I mean, I love having him here but if there's a chance he can help save his sister, then that's much more important."

I smiled. "She'll be okay." I said, bravely.

Sara smile weakly too. "Yeah. How are the girls?"

"Exhausted. My mother showed up."

"Yeah? What'd she say."

So I told her about my encounter with my mother, including the part where she adopted Ayla and Maggie. This made her smile. After awhile, we were all talked out and we just sat there in silence. Soon, Sara was asleep again, it must've been her drugs that were making her so drowsy. When I knew she was completely out for the count, I snuck out of the room. Using pen and paper from the nursing station, I left her a note;

Gone to visit the babies. Be back soon. All my love C.

With that I took the elevator to the PICU. I recognized the nurse as the one from the night before and she recognized me, allowing me to enter the room and take the rocking chair nearest my children. There they were. Side by side. Getting up, I went to wash my hands so that I could touch them. Reaching, in I stroked along my daughter's arm and then laid a hand on my son's chest. Seeing his strong lungs right next to hers, it was easy to see the difference. And she was so much smaller. Her skin was paler.

"Hey, guys. Hello, my beautiful ones. I bet it's nice to finally meet outside Mama's tummy, huh? How are you feeling, baby girl? Your big brother, Matthew, is here to help you and watch over you. What do you think of that? I think it's pretty neat. So you hurry up and get better, okay? We're all praying for you."

I sat back with one hand still in the incubator, just touching the small hand of my daughter. Rocking back and forth and humming a non-descript soothing tune, I eventually rocked myself to sleep.

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Alright, you know the drill by now- it's chapter 35 for Pete's sake. You know, I've never really thought about it, but who is this Pete? And why on earth to do we care about him and his sake? So, don't review for Pete. Pooey on Pete. Do it for me. ME! Myx Nyx.