Bella: Oh. This is incredible. It's so light and open you know?

Laura: Yes he knows, he lives there.

Edward: What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?

Brooke: With crocodiles?

Bella: No. Not the moats.

Edward: Not the moats. This is the one place we don't have to hide. I told them not to do this.

Cooking guy on TV talks.

Rosalie: Is she even Italian?

Brooke: No, she's Japanese!

Laura: No, you idiot. She's from Washington.

Emmett: Her name is Bella.

Carlisle: I'm sure she'll love it no matter what.

Brooke: OMC its Carlisle! I heart u Carlisle. You should be British though.

Laura: Carlisle is the one that sounds Italian.

Rosalie: Ooh. Get away from that.

Brooke: Get away from what?

Esme: Here comes the human. Bella, we're making italiano for you.

Bella: Oh. Yum.

Brooke: Heroin's better.

Laura: DRUG ADDICT!

Edward: Bella, Esme is my mother for all intensive purposes.

Laura: Of course we know what that means! (whispers to Brooke) What does that mean?

Brooke: IDK

Laura: Ha! You don't know what that means.

Emmett waves with knife in hand.

Laura: Nice Emmett.

Brooke: That's not scary at all.

Carlisle: We're using you as an excuse to use the kitchen for the first time.

Laura: Excuses, excuses.

Esme: I hope you're hungry.

Laura: What if she's not?

Bella: Um… yeah

Edward: She already ate.

Rosalie smashes salad bowl.

Laura: Anger issues!

Brooke: She'd be a perfect match for Jacob!

Laura: Don't mock Jacob. He's friggin' awesome.

Rosalie: Perfect.

Bella: Yeah. It's just that I know you guys don't eat so… of course.

Esme: It's very considerate of you.

Laura: She's just saying that.

Edward: Just ignore Rosalie. I do.

Brooke: That's nice.

Laura: I know, right.

Rosalie: yeah. Let's just keep pretending like this isn't dangerous for all of us.

Bella: I would never tell anybody anything.

Carlisle: She knows that.

Laura: She's not a dummie!

Emmett: Yeah well the problem is you two have gone public now.

Brooke: Suh-weet! High five Emmett! (high-five) Owww…..

Laura: Just nice Brooke. Real, real nice.

Rosalie: No, she should know. The entire family will be implicated if this ends badly.

Bella: Badly as in, I would become the meal?

*Laughs from whole family*

Brooke: LOL!

Laura: That is not funny. Although I don't like Kristen Stewart, I do like Bella. And I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't eat her.

Brooke: Cannibalism is bad. Not to mention ILLEGAL!

Alice: Hi Bella.

*Jumps off tree*

Alice: I'm Alice.

B: Umm hi.

*hug*

Brooke: That's not odd, hugging someone when you formally meet them for the first time.

Alice: Oh. You do smell good.

Laura: Um…. Thank you?

Edward: Alice, what are you—

Laura: Silly Edward! Alice is a vampire just like you. (scruffs his hair like a little kid.)

RPattz in response to hair-scruffing: Yo, don't touch the hair! It was a million bucks!

Laura: Touchy, touchy.

RPattz: Don't touch me.

Brooke: I hate you.

Alice: It's okay. Bella and I are going to be great friends.

Laura: Well, she would know.

Carlisle: Sorry. Jasper's our newest "vegetarian". It a little difficult for him.

Brooke and Laura: HE'S IN PAIN!!!!!!!

Laura: Like I care.

Brooke: Meanie-poo

Jasper: It a pleasure to meet you.

Laura: No its not.

Alice: It's okay jasper. You won't hurt her.

Edward: Alright. Uh. I'm gonna take you one a tour of the rest of the house.

Alice: Well I'll see you soon.

Laura: She would know.

Bella: Okay.

Esme: Cute.

*Alice smiles really big*

Carlisle: I think that went well.

Bella: Graduation caps?

Edward: Uh yeah. It's a private joke. We circulate a lot.

Brooke: I still don't think that's the right word.

Laura: good for you. Nobody cares.

Bella: That's kind of miserable.

Brooke: lol

Laura: I know something else that's miserable!

Brooke: What?

Laura: JASPER! And my life.

Bella: Repeating high school, over and over.

Brooke: ...and over and over and over and over and over…

Edward: Sure but the younger we start out in a new place the longer we can stay there. Come on. Uh…yeah this is my room.

Bella: No bed?

Brooke: He doesn't sleep, dummo!

Laura: I wonder, do Rose and Emmett have a bed in their room? You know what, I don't really want to know.

Brooke: Neither do our fabulous readers.

Laura: We don't have any fabulous readers.

Brooke: We will.

Laura: You wish.

Edward: Um, yeah, I don't sleep.

Bella: Ever?

Brooke: No means no!

Edward: No, not at all.

Bella: Uh, okay. Wow, you have SO much music. What are you listening to?

Edward: It's uh Debussy. Um.

Bella: Clair de Lune is great.

Brooke: Ew classical.

(RANDOM DANCING)

Edward: What

Bella: I can't dance.

Brooke: HSM!

Laura: I don't dance—

Brooke: I know you can—

Laura: Not a chance—

Brooke. Let's stop.

Edward: Hmmmm. Well I could always make you.

Bella: I'm not scared of you

Edward: You really shouldn't have said that.

(FLYING)

Edward: You better hold on tight spider monkey

Laura: That's a stupid name

Brooke: (for Sarah) YOURE A STUPID NICKNAME!

(giggles and climbs up tree)

Edward: Do you trust me?

Laura: Trust: they over use that line SO much.

Bella: In theory.

Edward: Then close your eyes

(FLYING!)

Brooke: How are they flying?

Laura: (perkily) Well, Brooke, they're not. He's strapped into a harness that's pulling them up the tree. Then, using CGI (computer generated images)—

Brooke: I'm bored. Stop. And that was extremely corny and out of character.

(SITTING IN A TREE)

Laura: Bella and Edward sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. I. N. G.

Brooke: I would have fallen out of the tree by now.

(bella gasps)

Brooke: Le gasp!

Edward: What?

Bella: This isn't real!

Laura: It's a movie. Of course it's not real.

Bella: This kind of stuff just doesn't exist.

Brooke: Well neither do vampires, yet you're sitting right next to one!

Edward: It does in my world.

Brooke: Can I come to your world?

Laura: Me too!