It took all of what I had in me to look Mike in the eye, even though he was just talking random stuff at me…I could hardly do it. I felt the over whelming guilt that had made its home in my stomach, churning constantly.

"Baby is there something wrong?" Mike took a pause in his story to look at me with concerned eyes.

I put on the most genuine smile I could "Yeah of course."

"Sara…don't lie to me…what's wrong?"

He knew me to well…I could never lie to him and not be found out.

"I'm just nervous that's all." I said slowly.

Mike nodded, seemingly appeased with my answer. "I'm worried too, but you'll be surrounded by the best cops in Las Vegas…you'll be fine."

I nodded and Mike continued on with his story. Ben sat across from Mike who was listening half heartedly, his phone in his left hand texting someone.

We had an hour before we had to report to the lab for my undercover preparations, I was going to start to today. The DA didn't want to waste any time on this guy, they wanted him in cuffs as soon as possible, and "wasting" a day on getting ready was not on the agenda.

Mike had decided that it would be a good idea to lighten the mood with a story; he was the only one listening.

I had been nervous all day, despite the brave front I put up for everyone, I was a wreck on the inside. I always got nervous at the prospect of undercover work. I didn't like having to do it any more than anyone of my team mates or close friends liked watching me do it.

"Mike," I said cutting him off midsentence. "We have to go…we have to get to the lab." I wasn't quite looking at him, sort of looking just over his shoulder to the wall behind him.

Mike looked at me with a worried expression, his browed was furrowed, and his eyes held concern.

It wasn't beyond me to say that his concern wasn't well placed, the way I saw it, even from where I stood, his worry as very much appropriate…maybe that's what bothered me.

"Sure thing…just ahh…let Ben and I get our field kits together…then we'll head out, alright sweetie?"

His kindness, devotion, and loyalty to me was more than I could bear. I felt dirty, undeserving, but above all guiltier than hell itself. I nodded, unable to meet his gaze anymore. How could I have done this to him? Sure it was one kiss, but it was one kiss with another man that was not him…and I could never forgive myself for that fact.

Minutes later and Mike was standing by my side gently holding onto my left elbow as we left the hotel, almost as if to make sure I didn't get lost on my way out to the car. Ben also walked close by me, but he kept his hands to himself.

We walked out of the hotel into the late morning Las Vegas sun. It was normal for most of my co-workers to just be getting up now, or still be sleeping, but today was different. Today the lab had halted and everyone was on high alert and high anticipation about this undercover work…it always happened when one of Las Vegas' finest went under.

Mike drove, I sat in the passenger seat, and Ben sat in the back. Mike kept shooting me nervous glances and I could feel the worried atmosphere he created all around me.

I almost laughed at myself when he reached out and took my hand in his. His strong wall of confidence seemed to have broken since we left the hotel room, and he seemed to take on my worried anticipation as I took on his forgotten confidence.

"Mike…I'm not going to break down or collapse from the pressure, and I'm not made of glass…the bastard hasn't killed me yet." I said, my voice betraying the nervousness I was trying to keep hidden.

Mike took his eyes off the road momentarily to look at me and then said on an exasperated sigh "Sara…that's not funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be" I said under my breath.

"What was that?" Mike asked his eyes still on the road.

"Nothing…I'm just stressed out is all." I said, not lying in the least.

"Sara…I'm just a little…"

"Looks like Brass set up an escort to walk me into the lab, Jesus, I'm not even under yet and they act like I'm the target of a serial killer." I cut off Mike as we pulled into the parking garage of the crime lab.

The irony of the statement I had just made was not lost on Mike or Ben and the atmosphere in the car stiffened with anticipation and worry…which was starting to upset me.

When Mike parked the car we all got out and walked up to where three officers stood waiting for us. Two of them I recognized from when I used to work in Vegas…they had been rookies then…the other I had never seen before.

"What's with the escort boys?" I asked finally achieving the unshaken voice I had strived for in the car.

"Miss Sidle…"

"Sara…please." I said to the first officer, one of the ones I recognized…Pettersen was his name.

"Sara…Detective Brass requested that we escort you to his office…he wants to talk to you." Pettersen explained.

"Why do I need an escort? I'm not under cover just yet." I said smiling at the officers.

"Miss Sidle," Franklin, the other officer I recognized began "You are very important to this lab…five years absence or not…you are important. Captain Brass just wants to make sure you're safe…you're like his daughter…"

"I get it." I said cutting Franklin off by putting my hand up to stop him. "Can my boyfriend come with?"

Franklin and Petersen looked at Mike and gave him a formidable look…apparently their loyalties lay with Grissom.

"I'm afraid not Miss. Sidle." Said the officer I didn't know.

"Please…call me Sara." I said again.

"Sara, Captain Brass said he wanted to talk to you in privet."

"And you are…officer…?" I almost asked rudely.

"Sorry, Officer Henderson."

I gave him a once over and then turned to Mike who stood close to my side.

"I guess I have to go with them then." I said smiling teasingly at Mike.

He didn't return the smile but instead looked at me with apprehension dancing behind his beautiful green eyes.

"Mike, I'll be fine…I'll see you in twenty minutes top…I'm not out in the field yet…I'll be fine stop worrying." I said trying to ease his worries.

He nodded and I stood on my tip toes to kiss his lips softly.

"I love you." I whispered pulling back slightly.

I could feel Mike relax a little as he said "I love you too."

I tuned reluctantly away from Mike and to the officers and said "Okay…take me to Brass…let's not leave him waiting."

The officers nodded and turned to walk into the lab, I followed but not before turning around one more time to wave to Mike and Ben who were still standing at the base of the sidewalk in the garage.

The two officers I knew walked in front of me while the one I didn't know walked behind me as the three of them walked me to Brass's office, a route I knew perfectly well and was more than capable of finding by myself.

Once we arrived at his office they stepped to the side of the door and let me knock.

"Come in" Brass's low voice came from the other side of the closed door.

I turned the door knob and slowly pushed open the door, suddenly nervous, well more so than before.

When the door finally sung all the way open and I could step in, I caught my first glimpse of Brass since he had come to me in the lay out room.

"Brass?" I called tentatively.

Brass looked up from the papers he had sprawled all over his messy desk and met my eyes.

"Sara…come in…and close the door behind you." He said tiredly, but there was a light in his eyes that let me know, he hadn't been beaten down.

I did as I was asked and walked closer to Brass's desk.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked softly.

"Sit down Sara." Brass motioned to the chair in front on his desk.

I nodded and took the seat and looked back up to see Brass staring at me.

I began to feel a little self conscientious so I said "Why did you call me in here?"

Brass almost looked hurt and said "Do I need a reason to see my favorite girl?"

I smiled lightly and said "No I suppose not, but something tells me that there was serious reason you called me in here, and made sure that I got here by way of three police escorts…so what is it" I was not demanding but was gently prodding the man I had only ever considered to be my father.

He sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of his nose before saying softly "I'm worried."

I knew why he was worried but I couldn't help asking "Why Jim?"

He looked at me as if I was dense "Sara…are you kidding me? You're going under cover today…putting your life in the hands of a suspected killer…"

Brass seemed angry and then almost sad. "Jim…it's not that big…"

"Sara, I know you to be brave and strong…and I know you've gone under before, but I just…I worry."

"Everyone worries."

"And with good reason too…you're not invincible…and I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me Jim…I promise." I said softly, but confidently.

"I did when you went to New York." Brass's voice took on a hurt tone, one that broke my heart.

I sighed heavily "Is that what you thought? You never lost me…I didn't leave because of you…I left because of…"

"Grissom." Brass finished for me.

I was silent…having the words put in my mouth was hard to take, especially when they were true.

"Yes." I whispered.

"What happened yesterday…and don't say nothing because I know something did happen."

I couldn't answer his question because it was the same question I had been trying to answer myself ever since my lips touched Grissom's the day before.

"Do you still love him Sara?"

"No…I love Mike…"

"I know you do…I've seen you with him…but that doesn't mean the love you held in your heart died for Grissom when you left…"

I looked at Brass and he must have seen the turmoil in my eyes because he again sighed and looked down at his hands.

"This is why I worry…"

"My love life worries you?" I asked, attempting to lighten the mood.

Brass gave me a knowing look and said "No Sara…the result of your love life worries me…I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Brass…you're talking in circles…"

"I know…I'm worried for your life now, but I've always been worried about your heart…does that make sense?"

"Yes." And it did he was worried like everyone else was about the upcoming undercover work, but had always been worried about what Grissom would do to my heart. "I'll be fine Brass…I promise…as soon as this is over and I get this bastard behind bars I will be physically fine and emotionally fine…I promise…Mike takes good care of me…when I leave here…I'm leaving with him."

"Leaving?" Brass again looked hurt.

I looked down at my hands and said "You had to have known that this was not forever…my home is in New York now…"

"Away from us?"

"Brass…I love you guys…I do…I love you…I'll visit again and you can come out and visit me…but you knew that when what happened, happened and I left…I wasn't coming back."

Brass nodded sadly and said "Just don't let Grissom mess things up…like he tried to last night…that was no friendly kiss…just let Mike love you and be happy."

"That's what I intend…but hey…when this is all over" I said trying to change the subject "…I'm taking you out to breakfast…just like old times…I promise, before I leave."

"Promise?"

"I swear…you have my word"

"I'm holding you to that." Brass said, the mood lightening considerably.

"Okay…come on now…we have a killer to put behind bars…" I said standing up.

"That we do…come…I'll escort you to the break room."

"Thank you Brass." I said as he walked around his desk. I hugged him tightly and kissed him lightly on the check.

And then we left…departing for the break room…where my team and my love awaited my arrival…and my safe return home.

A/N sorry this chapter took so long! I had quarter exams this week and i was well, suposed to be studying. I'm not so sure i like the ending to this chapter so i might change it in the near future, but i hope you like it! I'm also still trying to work through some minor writters block. Thanks for the reviews!