15/01/2009 06:07:00
A/N: Nothing much to say here, except that I hope you enjoy this.
Also, Maggsie aka the love of my life supported me through my entire block, and you would not be reading this right now without her- so PM her and tell her she is amazing. But be careful what you say- there is no flirting with my girlfriend! And she'll tell me if you do and then I will…umm…not be able to do anything, but I will not be happy!
Read on, dear friends!
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It was 2016, my fifty-fifth birthday and it was depressing me to no end. Sara was only forty-seven and still looked and acted like she was in her thirties. Our children were growing up and I felt old.
The twins were thirteen and finishing up seventh grade. Lizzie had a boyfriend who was in the eighth grade. Neither Sara nor I liked him very much but that was probably just because we knew he was kissing our youngest child in the backs of movie theatres. She had started the whole dating scene the earliest of all of the girls. Not that it surprised me- I had had boyfriends when I was her age. But that didn't mean I was okay with her following in my footsteps.
Also, despite the fact that she was amazingly smart, she was not doing well in school and was acting out more and more. None of the other girls had ever rebelled as much and I guess we had been lucky. Lizzie was this gorgeous girl. She had developed early, she had out of control red hair, and she was extremely over confident. My mother called it God's revenge. She said if we were lucky, Lizzie would only run away in three years and become an exotic dancer. Oh, God.
Mattie, on the other hand, was the model son. He got perfect grades; he was in the competitive travel soccer league and scored the winning goal for the state championship in his level. He was still a shy boy, but he was very popular both with kids and teachers because he was so well mannered and good-natured.
Sara didn't understand it at all. She said that she was exactly like him in school and no one ever paid her the time of day. I didn't even try to suggest that perhaps she had been a bit moodier and more sarcastic than our son. After nearly fifteen years together, I knew what a comment like that would earn me.
Maggie was nearly eighteen and graduating from high school in a few months. She was going to tour with a drama troupe that summer as she had the last two summers, before continuing on to theatre school in New York City in the fall. She was a very talented actress as well as a singer and songwriter. Neither Sara nor I could get over how grown-up she had gotten. She wasn't quite as tall as Sara, though she was certainly taller than me.
Her curls, her eyes, and her smile had stayed just the same and they got her even farther than they had when she was three years old. She dated both men and women, which didn't really surprise either of her mothers. Maggie was just that kind of girl. She had never judged anyone on anything other than their hearts and she never would.
Ayla was still our adorable genius. She had graduated from high school a year early and had taken the year to study physics and astronomy in Japan. Now she was in Boston, finishing her last year at school doing a double major in nuclear biology and nuclear physics and she already had job offers with several medical engineering firms, though Sara and I thought she was likely to take an internship at NASA.
She didn't want to be an astronaut anymore, but she did want to be a part of the scientific team that discovered life on other planets. She wasn't dating anyone that we knew about; she had yet to have any serious relationships. That was just fine with both of her mothers.
If we were going to have to worry about our thirteen year old dating punk rockers and our eighteen year old having orgies with anyone and everyone, we did not need to worry about the one daughter who was on the other side of the country. Well, Lindsey was on the other side of the country as well, but we knew exactly who she was seeing.
Lindsey was living in D.C., nearly twenty-six, in graduate school, and engaged! I couldn't get over it. Even though I was very happy for her, I still cried for about ten years. Ethan was a very nice, handsome man- a crime scene investigator, in fact. He was thirty, very tall, and of mixed-race. After Sara and I first met him, the first thing past Sara's lips was that Lindsey was actualizing her crush on Uncle Warrick.
But three years and a five thousand dollar engagement ring later, it was clear that they were in fact, very much in love. Lindsey was actually studying to be a forensic anthropologist, which surprised us, considering that until her senior year in college, she had wanted to be an English teacher. It did however, make us proud that she was so interested in something that we had spent our whole lives doing.
That was the other thing. I was turning fifty-five years old with an engaged daughter and six months before, I'd had given up my job as a CSI. True, for the last six or seven years, I had been mostly pushing paper as an administrative supervisor, but now I was no longer ever in the field at all. I was a consultant for Cold Case and I was giving lectures at UCLA.
Sara had been a field supervisor for the last six years and she was still bringing in new cases. I knew we didn't need the extra money that my job had been bringing us, and it was true that I was no longer young enough to be pulling twelve and eighteen hour shifts, but giving up CSI made me feel old.
And so it was that my birthday arrived. I hadn't been planning anything special; a family dinner with Maggie, Lizzie, and Mattie- if we could convince Lizzie to give up one Friday night with her precious boyfriend. And maybe Sara and I would catch a movie.
Since we no longer needed babysitters every time we went out, our dating life had hit a high that it had never been at before. It was the first time in our entire relationship that we could just decide to go off for an entire evening- or an entire weekend. Not that we did it often, but the fact that we had the option was wonderful.
When I got back from my Friday afternoon lecture, I knew no one would be home. Maggie was in rehearsal, Mattie had practice, Sara would be at work, and Lizzie, in all likelihood, was learning how to play guitar from her boyfriend's father. I opened the door to be greeted by a rush of barking.
Somehow, our house had become a menagerie. Sara and I had been insistent when we were living in Las Vegas that we would have no pets. But all of the girls, and especially Lindsey, had wanted a dog. So, when we moved to California and got our big house, we decided a puppy wouldn't hurt. So we got Hershey, our chocolate lab. And then Ayla's class had had a program where the kids could intern at an animal shelter. So we got our cat, Duncan.
Then we adopted our neighbor's golden retriever, Casey when they moved out of the country. Last year, a few weeks before Christmas, Casey had gotten hit by a car. The kids were devastated, so for Christmas, I went out and bought them a cocker spaniel puppy. And Sara went out and bought them a boxer puppy. And both, Roxy and Theo, stayed.
So then we had three dogs and a cat. Not to mention Mattie's two turtles, Lizzie's ball python (a gift from her wonderful boyfriend), and Maggie's lovebirds. What can I say? When you have five kids, some rules just have to give. This rule went from 'No pets' to 'Only ten pets in the house at a time.'
I let the dogs out and pet the cat while I went through the mail. Then everybody came bounding in for treats and I checked my watch. It was half past four, and I thought I would start on dinner so that we could head out early, or at least avoid the complaining of angry teenagers at having to stave off their busy social lives until nine o'clock.
But when I set my bag down and went into the kitchen, I had to smile. Someone, probably named Sara, had barred the refrigerator shut with crime scene tape. And someone else, probably named Maggie, had made a brightly colored sign with happy red bubble letters, 'Do Not Open. Highly Toxic and Top Secret.' In slightly smaller letters were the words, 'For more information please contact Crime Scene Investigator Sara Sidle-Willows at the San Francisco Crime Lab.'
Laughing, I dialed the number and extension for Sara's office.
After two rings, my love picked up, "Sidle-Willows? Jerry, if this is you, you can forget about it, day shift is over in half an hour and we are getting out of here on time tonight. You can make nightshift pick it up, Lord knows we clean up after enough of their messes."
I smiled warmly, "Well, Mrs. Sidle-Willows, I'll pass that information right along the next time I speak with our police commissioner. In the mean time, could you spare a moment for your darling wife?"
I could hear the grin in Sara's voice, "Babe! Why didn't you call my cell?"
"The sign on the fridge says 'contact CSI Sidle-Willows at the San Francisco Crime Lab.' I thought I'd better follow instructions to the letter."
"Damn right. I had to come home on lunch break to secure that scene. And Mags was up late making up that sign."
"You drove the hour home and the hour back on your lunch break? Sara…"
"Okay, so I maybe took a long lunch break. But my plan worked; here we are talking away."
"Yeah, okay. So, what's up?"
"It's your birthday."
"I had noticed." I tried not to sound too glum.
"Cheer up, hon. We're going out to celebrate."
"We are?" This was news to me.
"Yep."
"When?"
"As soon as I get home, so go get ready. Get dressed up and shiny- we're going out on the town."
"The kids?" I wasn't about to pass up the chance to get out with Sara, but I also was too used to being a mother to just do what she was asking.
"Taken care of. Mags is on it. So, hop to it. I expect nothing but the best. Hair styled, make-up done, something small and clingy hugging every perfect part of you. Everyone who sees you tonight is going to know how gorgeous you are and how much I love you."
I blushed giddily, thinking that perhaps this birthday wasn't so bad after all, "So all out huh?"
"You got it. Dressed to the nines."
"What about you?"
"Don't you worry your pretty little self about that. I'll be home at six o'clock sharp and you better be waiting by the door."
"All right. I'll see you soon."
"Love you."
"Love you, too."
I rushed around, hurrying to get ready. A quick shower and then an eternity to dry my hair which- in defiance of getting older, I had let grow long down to nearly the middle of my back. After that I had to pick out something to wear. Not that that was hard. I had this new dress that Sara hadn't seen yet. Deep crimson at the spaghetti strap top, it faded to black and fanned out where it ended right below my knee. It had been my Christmas present to myself when I was out in D.C. helping Lindsey with wedding plans.
But I had yet to have an occasion to where it to. I knew that Sara would particularly like the long slit up one side that stopped only inches below my hip. I slipped the dress on, as well as some black heels. I had just put the finishing touches on my make-up when the doorbell rang. I adorned the dangly diamond earrings Sara had given me for our tenth anniversary, grabbed my purse and went downstairs to open the door.
Wow. Sara looked amazing. It seems I wasn't the only one to be wearing something new. She had on these long billowy black pants that hugged her hips amazingly. And her top. Did I say wow?
Tight, layered, sheer black fabric; thick black straps that accented her gorgeous neck perfectly. And the top was cut just a little short so that you could see half an inch of skin between it and her pants. Mamma mia. And the look on her face said that I looked just as good.
"Fifteen years and I still can't believe I ended up with someone as gorgeous as you." She snuck an arm around my waist and kissed me lightly, "You're amazing, Cath. You're beautiful and wonderful and I love you. And if we didn't have strict reservations it would be my pleasure to whisk you right back upstairs and help you out of these clothes." She kissed me soundly.
Oh, how I loved this woman, "I'm not that hungry. Why don't we cancel the reservations?" I started pulling her inside.
She sighed, "No can do love, it took me months to get this reservation. I almost had to sleep with the hostess."
"Which is exactly what you should tell me to get me to go." I eyed her in mock displeasure.
"Come on," she dragged me towards the compact.
"Why don't we take the Durango?" I asked.
We now owned four cars; the mini-van which was tired and currently being used as Maggie's car, the Durango which Sara took to work, the truck which was technically Lindsey's but she hadn't driven it in years, and our little compact which I took to the university everyday. When it was the whole family or just the two of us, we usually took the Durango. We had sold the T-bird two years before to Jim Brass- it was his retirement gift to himself.
"It's easier to park the compact."
Aha. If parking was going to be an issue, that meant we were going into downtown San Francisco. And that meant a really fancy restaurant, since nothing else would warrant the hour-long trek back to the city.
The ride was uneventful. We talked about our days, our co-workers; the kids. It was much the same banter that had filled the last fifteen years of our lives. We didn't constantly need to be singing each other's praises or anything like that. We were confident in our love and the easy way we spoke and our relaxed, interlaced fingers in my lap proved that.
When Sara stopped the car, I looked around, confused. "Where the hell are we?" We were down by the wharf but we were blocks away from any good restaurant.
Sara smiled mischievously, "We're here."
"Are you taking me out for a romantic body dump?" In California, people were always leaving bodies out by piers; don't ask me why.
"No, I'm taking you out there." Sara pointed down a dock to a very large and very sleek white yacht.
I grinned, "Seriously?"
She winked at me, "You are my birthday girl."
"Lay lady lay." I wiggled my eyebrows.
"That was the general idea." She smiled what I had dubbed the 'weak in the knees' smile and got out of the car. She came around and offered me her arm, "My lady?"
We walked in silence down the dock, and as we grew closer to the boat, I could hear music and laughter coming from within.
"Sara…is this like one of those dinner cruise things?"
Sara grinned, "Not exactly."
"But…it's not just the two of us?" I asked, a little disappointed.
"No." She winked at me as she hopped on board and pulled me across. She whispered in my ear, "But it is a private party."
With that, she pushed me inside. I looked around and gasped. I leaned back against my wife as she stepped through the door, "Oh, Sara."
"Like it?" She whispered.
Looking at all of the food, the glamour, and of course, my smiling friends and family, I could only wordlessly nod. I was completely surprised.
"Happy Birthday, my love." She kissed my cheek.
A moment later, there was a loud echo of her sentiments, "Happy Birthday!"
I immediately began to cry and smile, "Thanks, you guys." I was surrounded by the people I loved.
Everyone was there.
Nick had flown out from Miami, where he was working now as a supervisor. He was divorced, but he had brought my ten year-old godson, Henry, and his girlfriend of two years, Melissa. I couldn't believe that my little Nicky was forty-five. We were all growing older.
Greg and his wife, Lisa, were there. Greg was still working in Las Vegas- a CSI 3. He and Lisa had been married for eight years and they had two kids- Emma who was only two and adorable, and Michael who was eerily like Greg. I thought maybe they should prescribe him something, but he was still cute in an 'I'm grateful for my son' kind of way.
Gil had shown up as well. He was living in Seattle now, working on the sequel to his best-selling crime novel. It had been centered around (surprise) entomology. We had drifted apart even more since Sara and I had moved the kids to California.
And a certain striking brunette character in his novel told me that he had never really gotten over my wife- he was probably here more as a favor to her than anything else. Things were strained between us now and a sick part of me was glad to know that he was sixty-three and living alone in a high-rise apartment in a city where it rained everyday. But he was one of my oldest friends and despite our distance, I was glad to see him.
I felt hands wrap around my waist- hands that were decidedly not my wife's, though familiar just the same, "Happy B-day, sweet thing," A low gravely voice said in my ear.
"Warrick!" I turned around to look at him. And was surprised to find a fifty year-old man in front of me.
We hadn't seen each other since Greg's wedding, though we talked often enough. He was still as handsome as ever, though he had a goatee now and his hair was longer. He was also still in Las Vegas, though he had taken over Ecklie's old job and he and Greg didn't work much together anymore.
His wife, Diana was there too, as well as his three kids. He had two boys, Rick jr. who was seven and Miles who was four. His daughter, Maya was twelve and beautiful.
I was so glad to see the whole team there and I felt a pang of nostalgia for the old days when it was just the six of us gathered in the break room or around a diner table, laughing and joking or brainstorming over a case.
But then I saw each of my friends and how much we had all changed and I knew that it could never have stayed that way. Warrick was happy, devoted to his family rather than his work, now. Nick had changed from his care-free, optimistic self into a responsible, honest man and a loving father. Greg had finally grown-up. He had learned to censor himself, or perhaps Lisa and fatherhood had done that for him. He was now a fully qualified CSI; he would probably make supervisor in the next few years.
And Gil. Well, Gil was still Gil, but he had withdrawn a bit. He was finally living the life of intellectuality he had always longed for. He was widely respected the world over as an entomologist and a published writer, his essays on criminology and forensics had gained him critical acclaim from the big names in the academic community. He was respected, admired, and well liked. Just like he wanted. I wondered if he didn't find it just a bit lonely though.
I remembered Gil as my first knight in shining armor; he had believed in me when no one else would- not even my family or my husband. I remembered Nick as the hopeful young man who sought out my advice while learning to float on his own. I remembered Warrick as my friend and confidant- the one I could turn to when I was feeling alone. And Greg I remembered as that goofy little boy who so badly wanted to belong with us.
I remembered them all and all of the times we had shared, and I missed that. I missed the way we were. A family. For a moment, I wanted to go back there, back to that time.
That's when I remembered the Sara I knew back then. I remembered how colorless and dark her life had been. And that led me to remember my life. Living day to day, utterly alone, and fighting tooth and nail to support a daughter I hardly even saw. I realized that perhaps our lives back then hadn't been as sunshine and daisies as I'd like to remember.
And when I saw my beautiful wife and all five of our beautiful children emerging from a door in the back carrying an enormous three-tiered cake, I knew that I wouldn't change anything in my life for the world.
Ayla had flown home and I couldn't believe how much she older she had become even since Thanksgiving. She was tall- even taller than Sara. In her stocking feet she was nearly six feet, in the spike-heeled boots she was wearing, she towered over me. Her hair had been straightened and it hung loose and impressive down her back. She looked amazing and I beamed with pride.
Lindsey was there, along with Ethan, and she looked great. Ethan had just been given his CSI level 2 status. Lindsey was positively glowing and kept showing everyone her engagement ring and sharing plans about the wedding. Warrick raised his eyebrows at me when he was introduced to Ethan. Aside from the blue eyes and square jaw, the two men really did look a lot alike. I just shrugged and smiled. C'est la vie.
My sister was there and my fourteen year old niece, videotaping the whole thing to show my ailing mother. Jeremy was an aspiring independent film director and his little sister wanted to follow in his footsteps. Sara's and my friends and co-workers from San Francisco were all there.
Everyone sang to me and Sara made a beautiful speech that I cried for. The guys made speeches too, but I laughed through those. And my kids made a speech all together. Lindsey and Ayla were by far the most eloquent, but Maggie talked about how happy she was that I was her mother which made me cry, and Lizzie actually swallowed her adolescent pride and hugged me in front of everyone. Matthew wasn't the type for public speaking, but he did give me a hug and a kiss and presented me with a lovely wooden jewelry box that he didn't have to tell me he had carved himself.
Inside was a smaller velvet box, and inside that was a beautiful silver necklace entirely designed of Celtic knots, which the kids had picked out themselves. Sara just winked at me and told me that my present from her could wait until we were alone. She said it in such a way that I blushed and the kids all covered their ears and yelled, "Ah! Mama! Don't be gross!" Everyone else laughed and an evening of dancing and laughter commenced. It was a beautiful night.
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Okay, this time thank yous go to: LeonniThams, Rach5, CavanaughCSI3, Harley Quinn Davidson, quietmusician, CatherineWillowsCSI, Cellen8, SJ-23, Kirky123, frenchflotus, chawkchic, and harassedbytheFBI.