"Sara, sweetie…you need to eat something."

My head felt empty, but it was swimming with thoughts, and Ben's voice rang through it all like the loudest bell that had ever been created.

"Sara…please, you need to eat something…if not for you…than for the baby…they're not going to release you until you eat consistently, you don't want to be here for another week do you?" Ben's soft voice floated over to me, and told me that very things I did not want to think about right now.

I felt a light touch on my shoulder and then I felt the hospital bed I occupied give a little as Ben sat down next to me. I heard a loud and long sigh of resignation escape Ben's lips and I felt like crying more than I already did.

"Sara, I don't know what to do…I….I…just don't know…please Sara…please, just…eat a little something…for your baby…for yours and Mike's baby."

Ben laid his last card on the table, and it just so happened that it was an ace. I turned slowly onto my other side to face Ben. I slowly looked up at him, meeting his tired and worried eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

Ben's eye brows furrowed as he looked down at me in confusion. "Sorry for what?"

"I…I'm not making this very easy am I?" I asked, trying to follow my own messed up illogical logic that seemed to be all I could think of since I found out Mike was never coming back to me again. "I mean…you lost him too…and now…you have to deal with me…I know it's not easy…I'm sorry."

"Oh, Sara." Ben said on a rush of air that was expelled from his lips "Sara, Sara, Sara…how could you ever think something like that?" He looked as if he were about to cry, which was not something Ben did often. "Just do me a favor, okay?"

I nodded my head and asked "What's that?"

"Eat something…please."

Even though that last thing I wanted to do right now was eat and I had no appetite what so ever, I knew this wasn't just about me and what I wanted. This was about my baby and what he or she needed.

I nodded my head again and Ben gave out a great sigh of relief. He left the room and when he came back, he carried a tray full of hospital food. He set it down on a little table and wheeled it over to where I lay. Ben then helped me sit up and brought the tray closer to me.

I looked at the food with visible disgust, but took a bite of the mashed potatoes anyway. After a few bites I sighed, not wanting to admit that the food did make me feel better. Not emotionally, but physically.

"I don't think I can do this." I said suddenly, a weighing thought that had been pressing on my mind, now needing to make itself heard.

Ben looked at me with resignation and said "Sara, you said you would eat, you need to eat."

I looked at him for a moment before saying "Not that…this," I said pointing to my flat stomach "I'm afraid I can't do this without…him…I can't do this alone." Tears now spilled from my eyes in uncontrollable amounts.

"Oh Sara." Ben whispered, now somewhat crying himself.

He moved the tray full of food away from me and then crawled in on the other side of the bed to lay with me. He wrapped his arm around me and said "Sara…you won't be alone…you'll have me and Jack and Eric and Kevin and Jackie to help you through this…and Sara…Mike will never ever leave you…I promise…he'll be with you always…"

I began to sob and Ben held me tighter.

I already loved this baby with every fiber of my being, but right now…I missed Mike and my heart was heavier than it had ever been. The only consolation or joy I could bring from this was that Mike had left a little piece with me, and in that sense, yes he would be with me always…as long as this baby never left me.

As soon as all my tears seemed to dry up and all my body could do was shake with a coldness that only I could feel, I fell into a fitful sleep. I think the only way I could have found sleep was because of the fact that Ben was laying right there next to me, letting me know that I wasn't truly alone.

I woke some hours later to a knock at my door. I opened my eyes to see who it was and saw Grissom standing in the door way. I turned a little and realized that Ben was asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair next to my bed; he was holding my hand tightly, letting me know that I still was not alone.

When I let go of his hand Ben stirred and opened his eyes. He looked around and when he spotted Grissom he sat up straight.

"Dr. Grissom, what are you doing here?" Ben asked, rubbing his eyes.

"I just wanted to come and see how Sara was doing…and maybe talk with her." Grissom said tentatively.

Ben looked at me with question in his eyes, asking me silently if this was okay. When I nodded my head he nodded his head and got up.

"Okay then, I think I'm going to go get some coffee, page a nurse if you need me okay?" Ben said looking at me with concern.

I nodded my head once more, and he bent down to kiss my forehead, and then he left me alone with Grissom.

It was silent for the longest time until Grissom asked "How are you feeling?"

I looked at him for a while. He looked exhausted and depressed, he had large circles under his eyes, and he had this sort of defeated air about him.

"I've been better." I said quietly.

Grissom nodded, excepting my answer for what it was. He then walked a little closer to the bed, close enough to rest his hands on the foot of it.

It seemed that neither of us knew what to say to the other, every topic seemed to be off limits and the ones that weren't seemed to mundane to be appropriate for this time.

"How's the baby?" His words were choked out but they were out nonetheless.

My hand instantly flew to my stomach and I couldn't help the slight smile that came to my face. "Fine."

Grissom again nodded, another topic used up.

"Grissom," He looked up at me with almost blank eyes "Thank you…for staying with me in the beginning."

Grissom's eyes softened slightly and he walked over to my side. "It was no problem." He looked at me long and hard and then asked "How are you really?"

I sighed and said "You always could call me out on a bluff…I…I…guess…oh God…I'm a wreck." A few tears springing to my eyes.

Grissom's hand flew to mine and gripped it. "It's going to be alright." He said softly, although coming from him, I found it hard to believe. He waited until my tears stopped to ask me his next question. "How long are you staying?"

I looked at him, surprised that he would ask such a question. But I answered quietly anyways "Until I'm released."

"You're not sticking around?"

"Why would I?" I asked, not seeing his logic.

"I don't know…for the case?"

"Grissom, the case is over…there's no reason to stay."

There was silence and then "How about for me."

I shut my eyes tight. Not wanting to answer that question, not wanting to crush the self-centered hope he held onto. "Grissom…you know I can't…I don't belong here anymore…things have changed…you know that."

My heart shattered a little more when he let go of my hand and stepped back from me. "So that night we spent together meant nothing?"

I sighed, more tears coming to my eyes. "Grissom…why are you doing this to me?"

"Why am I doing this to you? Why are you doing this to me?"

Suddenly anger exploded deep within me, fueled by the hurt and unfairness of my current situation. "Grissom, how could you be so self-centered? The only person you are thinking of right now is yourself! Yes that night meant something…but what we shared is in the past and that's where it should stay…in the past. God damn it…I'm pregnant with another man's child, a man that I just lost and you have the nerve to walk in here and be mad at me because I'm leaving…going home! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Grissom looked a little taken aback. He was quiet for the longest time. Tears were spilling from my eyes freely, hurt by the things he had expected of me.

"I'm sorry Sara." He said so quietly I almost didn't hear it.

"I am too…listen Grissom…Gil…I care for you, I always will…once upon a time we were happy together…we were madly in love with each other…but this isn't once upon a time…this is now…and things have changed. I just lost a man I'm madly in love with…a man I was going to marry…and I'm pregnant with his child…tell me, how would we have worked out…especially after all that's happened between us…all the hurt you've caused…hurt I've caused…Gil…we've damaged each other beyond repair…there is no us…only you and me."

He nodded his head dumbly, his eyes averted. I physically hurt for what I had just said, but it was the truth. There was no way I could have a happy relationship and life with Gil Grissom. Not after years of dealing with his affair, his mistreatment, his hurtful words. Not after coming back to Vegas to do my job and finding out that he was married to Catherine. Not after falling in love with Mike, one of the most wonderful men I will ever know in this life. And not after getting pregnant with his child…his wonderful child. No…there was no way…no matter how hard we could or would try…there was just no way.

By the time I was pulled from my thoughts Grissom was standing near the door, hand on the handle, looking at me with an emotion that I couldn't quite place.

"I really am sorry Sara…I hope you're going to be alright…and I…I hope you know I love you…I always will."

"I know Gil…I know."

He nodded his head sadly and then opened the door and left, closing the door behind him. I shut my eyes tightly against the sudden pain that over whelmed me.

I knew no matter how much I loved Mike or this baby, some part little part of me would always love Grissom, and hold a special place for him in my heart. But he would always be the one that I had to let go…he would always be the one that was truly right for me, but he would always be the one that was right at the wrong times. And so for now, I would hold onto this baby with all my might, love it with all I had, and let him or her remind me of the one that was right, at the right time.

A/N Okay, so i really hoped you liked this chapter, no matter how angst filled it was. I just wanted to let you know that there will only be one more chapter after this. So again, i would like to thank everyone who has read this story, your support is very much apperciated. And thank you for your reviews.