Super Smash Exam
"Uuuuuuhhhh…" I look at the angry mob of readers outside of the room I'm in. "I had to deal with school…?" I say weakly.
CRASH
POW
BAM
BIFF
BANG
OMGWTF
After the mob exits the room I am laying on the ground face down. I weakly push the play button on the tap-recorder.
"Disclaimer: The author does not own the licensed characters or Game2002's characters. He does own his original characters and the story itself.
…Elimination…
"Grrrrrrrrrr…" Yoshi growled at Leon.
"Is that supposed to be intimidating?" Leon asked before he disappeared from view.
"Yoshi?" Yoshi looked around with a confused look on his face. "WAH!" He was then knocked to the side forcefully.
"Huh? What's-a going on-a?" Luigi asked.
"It's camouflage." Samus answered.
"Yoshi!" Yoshi got up quickly and looked about with a more attentive look on his face. "WAH!" He received a blow across his cheek before he threw a kick in the direction he took the hit from, but he only hit air.
"Like I'm that stupid… my tail has the strongest muscles in my body and it's flexible, I can hit you from any angle I feel like." Leon's voice echoed across the room.
"Wh-why's it echoing?" Lucas stuttered.
"It's got to be ventriloquism." Blue said.
"Where the guys play with puppets?" Nana asked.
"Uh… something like that."
"Basically he can make his voice sound like it's coming from somewhere else." Mewtwo further explained while Yoshi kept swinging his tail and head around in hopes of hitting Leon.
"Wack!" Yoshi then felt something wrap around his neck as he was picked up off the ground.
"Is this all you're capable of doing?" Leon asked as he made himself visible, his tail holding Yoshi by the neck.
"Yosh…" Yoshi sniffed the air a bit, smiled, then tail-whipped Leon's tail.
"Gah!" This loosened Leon's grip and allowed Yoshi to wrench out of Leon's tail grip. Leon quickly camouflaged himself again.
"Yoshi…" Yoshi sniffed the air for a moment before he wheeled around and rammed his head forward.
"OOF!!" Yoshi head-butt Leon right in the gut and caused him to sprawl backwards. "What…? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Yoshi then charged forward like a bull and used his head to catapult Leon in to the air.
"Yoooooooooo…SHI!!" Yoshi then jumped and thrust both of his legs forward, kicking Leon and sending him flying towards the far wall.
BAM
"Ooooooooooooggggg…" Leon hit the wall headfirst and soon passed out.
"The winner is Yoshi!" Ron Host announced.
"I'm a little surprised at this…" Wolf commented.
"Heh… you showed that lizard who's boss!" Falco shouted. "I'm only sorry it wasn't me that got to clobber him."
"Okay, our next battle…" Cole turned to the screen as more names flashed by.
"You know Night-Princess… that Leon guy would have been the perfect match up for you or I." Night-Claw commented.
"Mm-hm…" She nodded her head quietly.
"Night-Princess vs. Sword!" Ron announced.
"Oh… m-me?" Night-Princess asked quietly. "Um… okay."
"Good luck." Night-Roller told her encouragingly.
"I have to fight a child? Hmph…" Sword scoffed as he walked down while Night-Princess jumped down and landed gently.
"I… I really don't want to fight you… I don't want to hurt you." Night-Princess said quietly.
"Then will you surrender?" Sword asked.
"…" Night-Princess looked at her teammates, then turned back and shook her head in response.
"You have sealed your fate then."
"Begin!" Cole announced.
"…" Sword immediately ran towards Night-Princess. Before she could react his body elongated from the waist and twisted around to her backside.
"Ah! What kind of a freaky move is that!?" Aika asked with a surprised face.
"…" Night-Princess seemed a little surprise as he used his legs to constrict her legs at the knee joints and his arms to wrap around her arms.
"My body has had surgical modifications made to it so that I can elongate and contort my body far beyond the flexibility a human body could possibly achieve." Sword said. He slowly reached his right hand for the sword on his back, forcing Night-Princess to move her arm.
"Urk…" Night-Princess groaned.
"Now surrender or I'll stab this through your heart." Sword threatened as he grabbed the hilt of his sword and slowly pulled it out.
"…"
"Well?"
"Please give up…" Night-Princess whispered to Sword.
"You must be mistaken."
"ACK!! Guys she could be killed aren't you guys going to do something?" Ron shouted. "Guys?" He then looked in front of him and noticed that Matt, Casey, and Cole were sitting cross-legged in a small circle drinking tea. "DOH!!"
"Nah… there's nothing to worry about." Matt said while taking a sip.
"Oh… shouldn't we do something?" Peach asked.
"No." Night-Claw said.
"Hm?" Mario and Peach looked at him.
"She hates violence… but this isn't even a threat for her." Night-Roller said.
"Time's up." Sword's arm elongated some more right before his plunged his sword in to Night-Princess' left chest, protruding out of her backside and missing his body.
"Hurg…" Night-Princess gasped. Sword unraveled himself and stepped back. "… hack!" Night-Princess coughed up a bit of blood as she stumbled.
"What? Why aren't you dead?" Sword asked.
"…" Night-Princess looked over her shades at him as she wrapped her hands around the hilt.
"That girl is still alive?" C. Falcon asked.
"How old is she?" Tails asked.
"Twelve… I think." Ness answered.
SHING
Night-Princess yanked the sword out of her chest and threw it to the side. "…"
"W-what!?" Sword watched in horror as the hole in her chest began closing itself up before his eyes. "W-w-w-what are you?"
"You can't kill… what isn't alive…" Night-Princess whispered as her eyes glowed red and orange. "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…" She hissed as numerous bats flew out of her shadow.
"What!?" Sword paid hardly attention to the bats, rather his attention was focused on Night-Princess' razor sharp canine teeth.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Luigi screamed at the top of his lungs. "Ooooooohhh…" He then passed out.
"Ooooooohhh…" Lucas soon passed out himself.
"!!" Most everyone else stared in shock at this sight.
"Gah!" The bats were swooping in at Sword while he tried smacking them away, but it seemed no matter how many he swatted away the swarm would never disappear.
"…" Night-Princess soon appeared right in front of him.
"Ah!"
"Sleep…" Night-Princess whispered as she looked in to his eyes while her eyes glowed red and orange. Sword soon fell to his knees and passed out. "…"
"The… winner is… Night… Princess…" Ron said before passing out from shock.
"…" Night-Princess looked up at the balcony and noticed the stares she was receiving. She quickly looked away and ran out the nearest door.
"Hey…" Night-Claw started to move when Night-Roller put a hand out.
"I'll make sure she's okay… wait on your match." Night-Roller said as he hopped down and went out the same door.
"…" Night-Claw paused a minute, but then he nodded his head in agreement.
"…" Peach looked over at Night-Claw curiously. "So she's a va…"
"It's not something she's proud of. She hates it." Night-Claw interrupted.
"Er… I guess I better make sure Ron's okay." Casey sighed as he took Ron by the foot and dragged him out of the room, hitting Ron's head on the floor as he stepped down from the elevated part.
"You do that!" Matt shouted after him.
"Anyways… next match." Cole turned to the screen. "Fawful vs. Louie."
"Me?" Louie asked.
"Mua ha ha ha ha! My turn has arrival! My passing of this battle is only the mayonnaise of my great sandwich of victory… THE MAYONNAISE OF YOUR DOOM!!" Fawful shouted. The engines on the side of Fawful's helmet started up and he used them to float down to the floor. "Let us have starting!"
"Huh?" Louie gave Fawful a puzzled look.
"Begin." Cole said.
"Uh… w-wait I need to call out my…" Louie began to say.
BAM
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Louie flew back in to the wall with smoke coming from his body. "Well that was…"
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
A large number of green orbs flew at Louie and exploded. The orbs were coming from a strange toothy mouth attached to the top of Fawful's helmet by a cable. "I HAVE FURY!!"
"Doh…" Olimar sighed. "Louie you need to DODGE…" Olimar groaned.
"The winner is Fawful." Cole said.
"Uuuuhhh…" Lucas finally woke up. "What… where's Louie?"
"He just failed…" Olimar sighed.
"What!?"
"…" Louie sulked out of the room with his head hung low.
"MUA HA HA HA HA!! I HAVE VICTORY!! I have spread the mayonnaise of his doom on my sandwich of passing. These exams of Smash are mine! Mua ha ha ha ha!" Fawful laughed.
"Mua ha ha ha ha ha!!" Crazy Hand laughed.
"Crazy…" Master Hand started.
"But if the mayonnaise was of his doom then why was there no coming of his doom?" Crazy Hand asked.
"I have challenges!!" Fawful shouted as he flew out of the room.
"I have acceptances!!" Crazy Hand shouted as he followed Fawful.
"Oh… great…" Master Hand sighed.
"Next battle…" Cole sighed.
Meanwhile…
"I'll be back down in ten minutes." Ron said as he held an ice pack to his head. "How did I hit my head though?"
"Erm… no reason." Casey said casually as he left the administrator's room and walked down the hallway. After so long of walking Casey stopped suddenly and then wheeled around. "You…" He growled.
"Hm hm hm hm hm… I see you've noticed…" Orochimaru said as he seemed to melt out of the tower walls.
"…" Casey drew his sword and took a stance while clutching it in both hands. "Orochimaru… don't think for one moment that I'm afraid of you… I shall cut you where you stand." Casey threatened.
"Now now… if two people of our level of power were to battle it out here how safe would it be for the people taking these Exams?" Orochimaru asked rhetorically.
"Hmph…" Casey took a breath and then smiled.
"Hm?"
"Ptoo!" Casey spit a sharp icicle from his mouth straight towards Orochimaru.
"!!" Orochimaru tilted his head to the side in time to avoid that attack.
CRASH
"RAH!!" Casey ran forward and tackled Orochimaru with enough force to send them both crashing through the walls of the tower and down to the forest below.
A minute later Ron came walking by. "Huh? How'd this gigantic hole get here?"
Meanwhile…
"Marth vs. Da Knight!"
"What? I already beat you at that Tower tournament." Marth sighed.
"But now… my armor is improved!" A man in sixteenth-century knight's armor gloated.
SHING
"Huh?" The next moment Da Knight blinked his armor had fallen off in evenly cut pieces, leaving him in boxer shorts with hearts on them. "AH!" He then ran out of the room in embarrassment.
"The winner is Marth." Cole said. "Casey's mana flow has suddenly arisen… what is he doing?"
Meanwhile…
BAM
BAM
"Hoo… hah…" Casey breathed. He was sweating a little and had one or two bruises on him.
"Heh heh… hah…" Orochimaru was in about the same condition as Casey. "Hm hm… most amusing… but I'm afraid we can't keep playing like this."
"Why not? This battle was just now beginning to get good." Casey said with a smile.
"It would ruin my plans quite simply."
"All the more reason… HA!!" Casey lunged forward as a sword made out of flames formed in his left hand.
FWOOM
The flaming blade swept over Orochimaru, however instead of Orochimaru a hardened statue of mud fell to the ground before shattering. "Damn him…" Casey growled.
Back at the tower…
"Okay… just a review of those of you who have passed…" Cole said. "Mario, Link, Roy, Marth, Ganondorf, Sonic, Knuckles, Omega, Wolf, Lucario, Bowser, Night-Roller, Night-Princess, Yoshi, Fawful, Wario, and King Dedede."
"Huh? When did-a Fawful and-a King Dedede pass-a?" Luigi asked, now no longer passed out.
"Hm? Oh, you were-a still passed out-a…" Mario said. "Fawful won-a the match-a right after-a Night-Princess won-a her fight-a. And-a King Dedede won-a the match after that-a."
"Ha ha! Now you know why I'm the king!" Kind Dedede bragged.
"I'm back!" Ron shouted as he ran in to the room.
"Next battle..." Cole continued, ignoring Ron.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiit!!" Ron shouted desperately.
"Wii Swing vs. er... augh the screen is going static." Cole groaned.
"Wait... then who's going to be my opponent?" One of the two remaining Wii Warriors asked.
"Don't worry Cole I caught it. Wii Swing vs... Red!"
"IT'S BLUE DARN IT!!" Blue shouted. "Oh wait, my match? Okay!" Blue then ran down from the stands while holding a red and white ball with a button on it in his hand.
"Just to warn you Blue, you are a legal target in these exams." Cole told him.
"What? Why?" Lucario asked Cole.
"If he passes and becomes a Smasher, then there will be situations in which he himself will be put in danger." Cole said. "His enemies aren't going to show mercy on a point of principle, real enemies will target him."
"I understand." Blue said. "No sweat."
"Okay kid..." Wii Swing said, pulling out a Wii remote with a nunchuck attachment. "I... AS ONE OF THE WII WARRIORS... WILL WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!"
"Stop shouting!" The last Wii Warrior shouted.
"Begin." Ron said.
"Ha!" Wii Swing took his weapon by the Wii remote end and hurled the nunchuck attachment end at Blue.
"Hm!" Blue cartwheeled to the side and avoided the direct attack. "These are just preliminaries, showing them everything I've got would be a bad idea... so taking his weapon in to account... I've got it!"
"Ha!" Wii Swing moved in and continued to whip the nunchuck at him. "Got you now! I was hoping to move you in position like this!"
"Hm!?" Blue looked to the side to see the nunchuck flying at him from the side, and he was just landing from a cartwheel, leaving him no chance to duck out of the way. "Go Ivysaur!" Blue threw his Pokéball at the nunchuck and stopped it. Once the Pokéball hit the ground his Ivysaur came out.
"Ivysaur!" It shouted.
"Use vine whip and tangle up that weapon!" Blue commanded.
"Ivy!" A green vine shot out from under Ivysaur's flower bud and wrapped it around Wii Swing's nunchuck.
"No!"
"Now use bullet seed on him!"
"Ivysaur!" Ivysaur leaned forward, pointing his bud at Wii Swing, and then shot out a large number of seeds at Wii Swing rapidly.
"Not that easy!" Wii Swing pulled out yet another nunchuck and held it by what would normally by the control stick. He spun it around and around like a tonfa and blocked the seeds until they stopped coming. "Gotcha now!" Wii Swing then hurled the Wii remote end towards Blue.
"Use vine whip!" Blue shouted.
"Ivysaur!" Ivysaur grabbed the other Wii remote and was now holding both of them.
"Let's take him for a spin Ivysaur!"
"What? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAA!!" Ivysaur soon began spinning his vines around and around and thus was spinning Wii Swing around the room.
"Release!" Blue shouted.
"Ivy!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
BAM
"Ooooooooooooooogggggghhhhhh..." Wii Swing was sent flying in to a wall, which he slid down slowly after crashing in to it.
"The winner is Blue." Ron announced.
"What did I miss?" Casey asked as he came in.
"Alright!" Blue shouted.
"Apparently another battle..." Casey sighed.
"What kept you?" Matt asked.
"Another time another place Matt." Casey said.
"Great job Blue." Lucario congratulated.
"Thanks, looks like we both made it." Blue said.
"Next battle..." Ron began.
...Notes...
"That is a rhyme of preposterousness! The chucking of the woodchuck is of unimportance since the woodchuck cannot do the chucking of the wood! THE WOODCHUCK DOES NOT HAVE CHUCKING!!" Fawful shouted at Crazy Hand.
"But if the woodchuck did have chucking how much chucking would he be having!?" Crazy Hand shouted back. "THE RHYME HAS QUESTION!!"
"THE HAND HAS CRAZINESS!! I HAVE FURY!!"
"THE SHRIMP HAS FURY!! I HAVE DONUTS!!"
"I have a wanting of the donuts!!"
"I have the hungries!!"
"Oh would you two shut up!?" I shout at them. Yes I've been between them the whole time.
"I am not wanting of the shutting up!!" Fawful shouted.
"I am wanting of the babbling of incoherence!!" Crazy Hand shouted.
"Leave a review... quickly before I am driven to the nuts by these two. Oh no... it's contagious..."