Super Smash Exam
"Ha ha! No longer is it the mustard of doom! Now it is only the MUSTARD!!" Crazy Hand shouted as he held a giant jar of mustard.
"This cannot be! There cannot be metaphors without the mustard of doom! I HAVE FURY!!" Fawful shouted at Crazy Hand while I'm still sitting between them.
"Holy… freakin'… crap… you guys are going to drive my up the wall if you keep this up… I miss Ron…" I groan.
"But driving up a wall would be an impossibility of physicality!" Fawful shouted.
"And of what usefulness could we be of anyways!? Whee hee hee hee hee…" Crazy Hand asked.
"Unless you can do a disclaimer you can get the heck out of here!" I shout.
"Saying of disclamation: This man of authoring does not have the owning of the characters of license or the characters of the Game2002 I have never met. This man of authoring does have the owning of characters of his creativeness and of this story of Exams of Smash! I HAVE FURY!!"
(Translation: Disclaimer: The author does not own the licensed characters or Game2002's characters. He does own his OC's and the story itself. I am angry.)
"Um… okay… I guess that's a passable disclaimer…" I say. "No! What am I saying now they can…"
"I HAVE CRAZINESS!!" Crazy Hand shouted.
"I HAVE FURY!!" Fawful shouted.
"…Stay…" I moan. "Come back Ron…"
…One Battle after Another…
"Let's see… in the time the author has taken to update the story…" Ron Host began to say as a really buff guy was dragged out of the room while Jigglypuff was walking back to her place on the balcony. She had a victorious look on her face.
"Diddy, Peach, Zelda, Blue, Ness, Aika, DK, C. Falcon, Falco, Fox, Ice Climbers, Bowser Jr., Meta-Knight, and Jigglypuff have also passed their battles." Cole finished.
"Five bucks says that the reviewers aren't going to be happy that so many battles were skipped." Ron whispered to Matt.
"You're on." Matt whispered back.
"You know Jigglypuff, your fight, my fight, and Bowser's fight is bringing me some serious déjà vu." Marth commented with a sigh.
"Jigglypuff." She responded.
"Ok the next battle is…" Cole began as the screen began shuffling more names. "Soren vs. Fina."
"It's all you Fina!" Aika cheered as Fina walked down the balcony steps to the arena while taking a deep breath.
"Good luck Soren." Ike told him.
"Of course." Soren responded with a confident smile. Soren's look hardened once he got down to the floor and stared at Fina.
"Begin the battle!" Ron Host shouted.
"Elwind!" Soren immediately cast a mid-level wind spell that sent a moderately sized whirlwind towards Fina.
"Moons… give me strength…" Fina chanted as runes glowed around her. "Wevles!" A blue whirlwind that sprayed droplets of water everywhere spun towards Soren's Elwind spell. The two tornados met and cancelled each other out in a massive burst of wind.
"AH! My hair!" Peach cried.
"Geez… could they make it breezier?" Night-Claw asked sarcastically.
"Don't ask… my gut tells me that they could…" Night-Roller responded.
"Hmmmm… you use a very different form of magic than what I'm accustomed to… I'll try this then…" Soren switched out his green tome for a red-orange tome. "Elfire!" A small burst of fire began to surround Fina.
"Moons give me strength… quicka!" Fina glowed blue before she quickly dived to the side, avoiding a column of fire. She then very quickly rushed at Soren while her bracelet turned in to a liquid silver before floating at her side. "Cupil! Go!"
"Pew!"
"What is that thing?" Soren asked as he took a defensive stance.
"Pew!" Cupil twisted and lengthened until it transformed in to a floating broadsword that flew towards Soren.
"!!" Soren held up the Elfire tome in defense. Cupil pierced through it but got stuck in the book. "It was about out of power anyways…" Soren said as he jumped to the side while pulling out a different tome. "Tornado!"
"Hm?" A large whirlwind whipped up around Fina before it began slicing away at her. "Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!"
"Fina!" Vyse and Aika shouted.
"Don't… worry…" Fina said as she looked at Soren.
"She's planning something…" Soren thought as he got on his guard.
"Can she make it?" Fox asked.
"Moons give me strength… WEVLEN!!" Three massive blue tornados were generated around Fina, they easily dispelled Soren's tornado spell before rushing towards Soren.
"Can't cancel it out… I have to try and dodge!" Soren twirled to the side and then jumped to the side as the tornados danced around him. He dived through two of them, however he dived right in to the third one. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
"Soren!" Ike shouted in worry as the other two tornados caught him and began throwing him around. Finally they threw him against the wall, soaking wet beaten. "SOREN!"
"Don't worry Ike… the girl did not have a killing intent in her eyes." Titania said as she put a hand on Ike's shoulder.
"… I know…" Ike said, taking a more calm breath.
"Whew… I'm glad you're okay…" Fina sighed in relief. "I'm sorry I had to do that Mr. Soren."
"…" Soren weakly got up and glared at Fina. "Don't look down on me…" He spat.
"Hey! Watch what you're saying you jerk!" Aika shouted at Soren.
"Hmph… I concede… I can clearly see that I'm outmatched…" Soren said with a bitter tone in his voice.
"Very well, the winner is Fina." Cole announced.
"Oh… um thank you Mr. Administrator." Fina said with a bow before walking back up to the balcony.
"Ike… I'm sorry…" Soren said to Ike as he walked back up.
"It's alright Soren." Ike told him. "I'm just glad you weren't seriously injured."
"…" Soren said nothing after this.
"He must be taking this hard…" Komali commented.
"Komali… you're too soft you're not going to win your matches like that." Tetra told him.
"Tetra vs. Lucas!" Ron announced.
"M-m-me…" Lucas stammered.
"Watch and learn Komali!" Tetra said with a cocky smile as she jumped down.
"Ugh… she looks confident…" Lucas said.
"Don't worry Lucas! Go for it!" Olimar encouraged.
"Um… you sure?" Lucas asked.
"Count on it, I'm sure you can do it." Olimar told him.
"Um… okay." Lucas took deep breaths as he walked down.
"Hmmmmm… that boy's stronger than he believes himself to be…" Mewtwo said as he watched Lucas walk down.
"What makes you say that?" Roy asked.
"Begin!" Cole announced.
"Ha!" Tetra pulled out a small dagger and threw it at Lucas.
"AH!" Lucas ran to the side, avoiding the dagger but he tripped as he ran and fell on his face. "Oof!"
"Oh come on this is embarrassing…" Tetra sighed. "Oh well, no mercy." Tetra then ran at Lucas as he slowly got back up.
"Huh? OOF!" Tetra punched Lucas in the face the second he stood up and he fell backwards. "Ouch that… OOF!" Then she kicked him in the leg when he got back up again. "Hey can't I… OUCH!" She then jumped on his large head and jumped way back.
"Is this all you've got? Here I come again!" Tetra again ran at Lucas.
"I… I… I… can… do… this…" Lucas thought to himself. Tetra jumped through the air at him. Lucas closed his eyes and looked away as he held a hand up.
"Huh? Hey what is this!?" Tetra yelled.
"Wait… Tetra can't float…" T. Link pointed out. True to his words, Tetra was floating in the air a foot or so away from Lucas' glowing hand.
"I knew it! He can use PSI too!" Ness shouted.
"!!" Shadow glared at Lucas once Ness pointed this out.
"Huh?" Lucas looked up and noticed what he was doing. "Oh! It worked… um…"
"Hrrrrgghh!" Tetra was wriggling in mid-air.
"Gah! Don't do that it's harder to hold you when you do that!" Lucas shouted in panic. "Um… HA!" Lucas then thrust his other hand forward.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Tetra screamed as she went flying part way across the room before sprawling across the floor. "Ow… ok now it's personal…" Tetra said with an angry look on her face.
"Ah! Um… Errrr… oh wait I know!" Lucas turned to Tetra while taking a deep breath. As Tetra ran at him he put his fingers to his head. "PSI… FREEZE!!" A giant snowflake covered in icy mist flew from his head at Tetra. In the next second Tetra found herself frozen in a block of ice.
"AH! TETRA ARE YOU OKAY!?" T. Link yelled in panic.
"Oops…" Lucas said.
"The winner is Lucas!" Cole said while snapping his fingers. The ice melted almost instantaneously.
"Brrrrr… what happened?" Tetra asked. "And why am I soaking wet?"
"Um… he won." T. Link said from the balcony.
"Huh? What!? Oh you've got to be kidding me!!" Tetra yelled in frustration before stomping out of the room.
"Hey Tetra wait a minute…" T. Link said as he started after Tetra.
"T. Link vs. Sword Knight! Come on down!" Ron Host shouted.
"Ugh… it'll have to wait until after this." T. Link sighed.
"You better beat this kid so you can keep serving your king!" King Dedede shouted at Sword Knight.
"Ugh… it'll be my pleasure your highness…" Sword Knight sighed.
"Best of luck Sword Knight." Meta-Knight told him.
"Of course sir Meta-Knight!" Sword Knight said with much more enthusiasm.
"…" T. Link pulled out a mirror shield and a simple looking sword with a brown handle.
"Begin!"
"Ha!"
"I'll warn you that Blade Knight and I were trained by Sir Meta-Knight himself!" Sword Knight warned T. Link.
CLANG
"Ha ha hiyah!" T. Link and Sword Knight clashed blades with each other at a rapid pace with each other. Neither one of them seemed to be gaining an edge over the other one. Y. Link raised his shield to block a few of the strikes before back-flipping a few times to get away. "Deku Leaf!" T. Link pulled out a very large green leaf and held it over his head.
"Huh?"
"HA!" T. Link swung the leaf like a fan, sending out a powerful gust of wind at Sword Knight.
"What is this!?" He shouted as he went skidding backwards, losing a little bit of balance.
"Hiiiiiyah!" T. Link performed a jumping slash at Sword Knight.
CLANG
"Hmmmmm…" Sword managed to raise his sword in time to block T. Link's sword slash. "Ha!" He quickly broke the lock and took a quick horizontal slash. T. Link flipped over the top of Sword Knight, landing behind him. Sword Knight was quick to react and he swung his sword over his head to bring it down vertically on T. Link.
"Hup…" T. Link rolled around Sword Knight and got up with his sword at Sword Knight's head.
"Impressive… who was your teacher?" Sword Knight asked.
"The winner is T. Link!" Ron announced.
"A fisherman." T. Link said before running out the door Tetra ran out of.
"Hmmmmm…" Casey sighed.
"What? Disappointed that your favorite hasn't gone yet?" Matt teased.
"What?! Of course not! Why would I be…" Casey began to say.
"Ike vs. Punk!" Ron Host announced.
"Yes!" Casey shouted.
"So obvious." Matt sighed.
"Ike… don't worry about myself or Titania, just win your match." Soren told Ike.
"Alright." Ike said as he walked down to the battle-field.
"Don't worry Ike, we defeated him and his team before, you should have very few problems." Titania said.
"Hmph… you were fortunate that there was a water source nearby last time. But I don't intend to lose this time." Punk warned Ike.
"Well just to warn you, I'm no pushover." Ike said as he brandished his sword.
"You can begin!" Ron shouted.
"Hmph…" Punk rushed forward immediately. Ike raised his sword in defense and blocked Punk's blade. Ike quickly shoved Punk and ran forward. "Ha!" Ike performed a vertically slash immediately followed by an upward slash that Punk dodged. Punk attempted to slash Ike while he was open but Ike used the momentum from his upward slash to help side-step the blade.
"Nice try." Ike then used more momentum to spin around for a strong horizontal slash. Though Punk blocked the swing it caused him to stumble back clumsily.
"Ugh… his swings are too strong, I need to get more distance." Punk thought. He jumped back while firing lasers from a blaster on his other hand.
"Hmph…" Ike dodged back and forth as he tried to close the distance between himself and Punk. Punk noticed that he was getting closer to the wall and thus decided to jump on it and cling to the side of it above Ike's head.
"Try and get me now!" Punk began raining laser blasts down on top of Ike while Ike either side-stepped or blocked.
"Heh, Punk's got him now." Pix said confidentally.
"Aether!" Ike tossed his sword upward, sending it twirling through the air, slicing through the laser blasts and heading towards Punk.
"What? Augh!" Punk barely jumped off the wall in time, but he still received a cut on his chest near his shoulder. "I didn't want to use this but I won't advance if I don't." Punk pressed two concealed buttons on the device his blade was attached to.
"Hmmmm… clever on that pirate's part." Samus said while her visor scanned Punk's blade.
"What's he doing?" Snake asked.
"You'll see." Samus told him.
"Ha!" Punk his blade at Ike. Ike blocked the attacked but quickly withdrew the blade while taking a jump back.
"What…" Ike noticed that there was a cut going in to his steel blade where Punk's blade struck. "How were you cutting through my sword that easily?"
"My blade is emitting a high frequency field around it, exponentially increasing its cutting power, had you not withdrawn your sword in time I would have cut clean through it." Punk told him.
"…" Ike took another look at Punk and his sword. "Alright then… come on." Ike took another stance with his hand in front of him and his sword poised above his head, pointed at Punk.
"You really think I'm coming after you when I could just wear your blade down with more laser blasts?" Punk switched to his blaster again and kept on firing lasers at Ike.
"…" Ike again skillfully dodged back and forth as he went for Punk. Ike took two or three shots, sure they burned but they didn't stop him from going forward.
"Here it is!" Punk swung vertically.
"Ha!" Ike did a quick jab with his free hand to Punk's chest wound.
"Agh!" It caused Punk to flinch, stopping his attack and allowing Ike a chance to go for a vertical slash. "Whoa!" Punk dodged to the side and attempted to counter with a stab. Ike spun to the side and attempted to go for a horizontal slash. Punk caught Ike by his wrist and about stabbed Ike in the back.
"Ha!" Ike kicked Punk in the side with as much force as he could muster.
"AH!" Punk gasped.
"Quick draw!" Ike prepped for a horizontal swing and then dashed at Punk.
"Ha!"
CLANG
Ike had dashed past Punk, there was a brief pause as the two caught their breath. The cut in Ike's sword then extended to the other side of the sword, cutting clean through Ike's sword. "You fought well." Ike complimented.
"As did you…" Punk said. That's when a pretty nasty looking gash appeared diagonally on his torso before he collapsed.
"Punk lost!?" Pix gasped.
"The winner is Ike!" Cole announced.
"Ha ha, even up against clearly superior technology he still pulled through." Casey said with a smile.
"Oh just marry him already…" Matt joked.
"Matt…" Casey growled.
"If you two are done playing around…" Cole hissed back at them.
"And these guys are best friends…" Ron thought to himself. "Let's determine the next battle!"
"Good because I'm getting impatient." Ganondorf grumbled.
"Please let it be my fight, please oh please oh please…" The last Wii warrior begged no one in particular.
"Vyse vs. Owii Wan Kinowii!" Ron shouted.
"Yes!" The last Wii warrior shouted.
"Owii Wan Kinowii? What kind of a name is that?" Fox asked.
"Pika…" Pikachu sighed.
"No problem." Vyse said as he jumped down to the floor.
"You'll do great Vyse!"
"I'm going to pass!" Kinowii shouted. He pulled out a Wii remote and pressed the B button, a laser came from it and stopped once the laser extended to sword length.
"I think the author just ripped off Star Wars on this guy…" Bowser said. That's when DK got an unexplained urge to slug Bowser in the face. "OUCH!!"
"Sorry…" DK replied.
"Yeah right! Get over here!" Bowser and DK then began wrestling.
"Begin!" Cole announced.
"Bring it on." Vyse said as he drew two cutlasses. He held the one in his right hand normally, but he held the one in his left hand by the guard. Kinowii and Vyse charged each other and immediately began a sword fight of sorts.
"What! Why isn't my Wii saber cutting through your swords?"
"These cutlasses are made of moonstones, sorry but I can't explain all the details." Vyse said he blocked one slash with his left cutlass while taking a slash with his right one.
"Whoa!" Kinowii jumped back in time and reduced Vyse's slash attack to only a minor cut that wasn't even bleeding. "Okay, you leave me no choice." Kinowii reached behind him and pulled out another Wii remote and then created yet another Wii-saber. "Ha!"
"Heh…" Vyse simply smiled and closed his eyes. "Pirates of old… defend our cause." Vyse muttered to himself as a greenish aura surrounded him.
"HA HIYAH YAH YAH!" Kinowii was almost recklessly swinging his Wii-sabers at Vyse, however Vyse continued to flawlessly block each attack.
"H-h-h-how scary-a…" Luigi stuttered.
"What-a?" Mario asked.
"Every time-a Vyse bl-blocks I-I-I see a skeleton in a-a-a-a pirate hat appear-a…" Luigi answered.
"He's right." Pit observed.
"Why am I not getting you?" Kinowii asked.
"Because I'm being guided…" Vyse said as a skeleton appeared, floating behind him with a tattered cape, a pirate captain's hat, and a large cutlass. Vyse's right cutlass prepped to swing as the skeleton prepped to swing his. "Ha!" Vyse swung his cutlass at the air along with the captain and a shockwave flew towards Kinowii.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The shockwave left a nasty cut on Kinowii's torso. Kinowii dropped his Wii sabers before he collapsed to the ground.
"The winner is Vyse!"
"Pika pika!"
"Yes he's alive Pikachu." Mewtwo told him.
"Wow, he's pretty strong." Nana commented.
"Yeah." Popo agreed.
"Next battle!" Ron shouted. "Who will it be..." Ron asked as the screen shuffled through more names.
…Notes…
"Okay, this part of the story should be done soon. Give it… two or three more chapters." I say while Crazy Hand and Fawful are behind me. "Why are you two behind me!?"
"Trying to see if telepathy works!" Crazy Hand shouted.
"We are attempting the reading of your mind that is yours!" Fawful yelled.
"Guys… only certain brains have the capacity to attain telepathy…" I say.
"And what statement of implication are you saying?" Fawful asked.
"I'm implying that YOU CAN'T READ MY FREAKIN' MIND!!" I yell.
"You don't have to yell… I HAVE SADNESS!!" Crazy Hand wailed.
"I HAVE ENJOYMENT OF THE PAIN OF THE HAND!!" Fawful shouted. Crazy Hand then punched Fawful before flying after him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"
"You're not nice!! WHEEEEEE HEE HEE HEE!!"
"Those two are going to be the death of me…" I groan.