Super Smash Exam
"My ramblings of incoherence shall have the victory that is sweet over the your insanity that is madness you hand of craziness! I HAVE…"
"Oh put a cork in it Fawful! You have fury! You've had fury for the hundredth time already!" I interrupt.
"Sheesh, interrupting is just plain rude. You're a very rude author." Crazy Hand said.
"You two have been driving me insane since the ending author's notes two chapters ago! Of course I'm going to be edgy!" I yell at him.
"You hurt my feelings again… booooo hoooo hooooo!"
"Bah! Stop this blubbering of annoyance! I have the ringing of the ears now! AND I ALSO HAVE…"
"Don't… say it… if the next word out of either of your mouths isn't the disclaimer I'm going to…"
"Disclaimer: This rude guy that's yelling at us does not own the rights to any of those characters with licenses or the characters he didn't create with his rudeness. He does own this story he made with his rudeness, and the characters he made with his rudeness. Did I mention he was being rude?" Crazy Hand disclaimed.
(Translation: Disclaimer: The author does not own the licensed characters or Game2002's characters. He does own his original characters and the story itself. He is very rude.)
"I hate you guys…" I moan as the two continue to ramble over my head.
…The Tension is here…
"The next battle is… Pichu vs. Mewtwo!" Ron Host shouted.
"No not again!" Peach wailed.
"Pichu!" Pichu gasped.
"…" Mewtwo's hardened facial expression didn't change much. The only thing he did was close his eyes, then teleport down to the fighting area.
"Pika…" Pikachu said with a few tears in his eyes.
"Another Smashers vs. Smasher fight… how interesting." Wolf said with a grin.
"Oooooo oo oo ooooo oo!" DK shouted.
"Hey the fights are determined randomly thank you!" Ron Host shouted back at DK.
"Pichu…" Pichu pouted as he slowly waddled his way down to the fighting stage where Mewtwo was waiting patiently.
"I know Pichu…" Mewtwo told him telepathically. "Admittedly I don't wish to do this either." Mewtwo confessed.
"Pi pichu pi?" Pichu asked when he finally got down to the fighting stage.
"I'm sorry. But I won't do that Pichu. And neither should you." Mewtwo told him.
"Pi…"
"One last thing…" Mewtwo said.
"Pi?"
"Begin!" Cole shouted.
"Don't hold back… for your sake." Mewtwo told him as his eyes glowed blue in color.
"Pi!" Pichu was sent flying back in to the wall by an invisible force. "PiiiiiiiiCHUUUUUUUU!!" Pichu quickly sent lightning bolts flying at Mewtwo.
"…" Mewtwo held his other hand up and formed a shield of sorts around himself. It successfully deflected the lightning bolts, however it broke his telekinetic hold on Pichu long enough for Pichu to land on the floor.
"Piiiiiiii…" Pichu built up some slight static around himself before he zipped at Mewtwo in the blink of an eye.
"Hm!" Mewtwo raised his hand, causing Pichu to stop just short of tackling him.
"Pichu!" Pichu fired a quick bolt at Mewtwo in that instant, shocking Mewtwo a slight bit. "Pi! Pi!" Pichu then zipped behind Mewtwo before slamming in to his backside.
"Impressive… but still not strong enough." Mewtwo twirled around and back-handed Pichu, sending him skidding across the floor.
"Piiii!"
"Shadow ball!" Mewtwo sent five small shadow balls flying at Pichu, all of which burst on contact with him.
"Piiiiichuuuu!" He cried.
"Mewtwo's being terribly harsh on him." Zelda winced.
"No… he's showing him just what Pichu needs to see." Link said solemnly
"What?" Zelda looked a Link a little exasperated.
"As much as I hate to admit it pointy-ears is right." Ganondorf said. "Pichu has fought impressively alongside us before, but the enemies will get stronger, and if he can't surpass Mewtwo, he can't overcome the future either." Ganondorf explained.
"I… guess you're right." Zelda sighed.
"That's harsh." Popo said.
"That's reality." Snake responded.
"PIIIIIICHUUUU!!" Pichu sent larger lightning bolts at Mewtwo.
"…" Mewtwo held up both hands to block two massive ones that surged forward to zap him. When the other two bolts came for him he quickly teleported out of the way above the room.
"Pi?"
"Psybeam…" Mewtwo fired a glowing beam of psychic energy from his forehead at Pichu.
"Pi!" Pichu quickly zipped to the side and ran around the room as the beam trailed behind him. "Pichu!" He gasped when Mewtwo suddenly teleported in front of him with a fist clenched.
"Ha!" Mewtwo slammed Pichu over the head with his fist, slamming him in to the floor. "HmmmmmmRAH!" Mewtwo then lifted his hand upward.
"PIIIICHUUUU!" He shouted as he flew up to the ceiling and slammed against it. "PiiiiiiCHUUUUUU!!" Pichu let loose an absolutely massive lightning bolt that struck Mewtwo dead on.
"Umph…" Mewtwo grunted. The powerful attack caused him to lose his hold on Pichu, giving Pichu a chance to land on the floor. "That… hurt…" Mewtwo admitted. He quickly thrust his hands to the side, creating a barrier around him right before tackled him.
"Pi… CHU!" Pichu started to attempt to ram Mewtwo multiple times. His tackles always occurred in the blink of an eye, however Mewtwo's barrier repelled each attempt.
"You're wearing yourself down far too much Pichu. You won't win if you keep attacking like that." Mewtwo warned him.
"Piiiiiiii…" Pichu cringed. "Pichu!" He quickly brightened up and then hopped away quickly. "Piiiiiiiiiiii…CHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!" Pichu gathered up as much electricity around himself as possible, and then hurled himself at Mewtwo.
"Good thinking, I can't fully block that but…" Mewtwo simply teleported out of Pichu's way as Pichu went flying in to the wall. "You should still know better."
"Piiiiiiii… chuuuuuu…" Pichu said dizzily as he stumbled away from the wall. "PIIII!!" He cried when he was suddenly bombarded by multiple shadow balls.
"Pichu… I'm giving you the chance to surrender. You put up a good fight but you should know the difference in our strength. Push yourself much farther and you could harm yourself." Mewtwo warned Pichu.
"Piiiiiii…" Pichu got on all fours and started to build up electricity. "Pichu pichu piiiii! Chu!"
"I know the Smashers mean a lot to you Pichu, I understand that. But your health is far more important. You could put yourself in grave danger like that." Mewtwo continued to warn.
"Mama-mia! Mario!" Luigi shouted.
"Pichu please-a stop-a!" Mario shouted desperately.
"What's he doing?" Sonic asked.
"Sonic! Pichu's tend to injure themselves when they use electric attacks, if he's building up too much he's going to seriously hurt himself! Maybe even die!" Tails shouted.
"What!?"
"Pichu please stop!" Nana shouted.
"Jigglypuff!"
"You little twerp! What are you thinking?!" Wario shouted.
"Piiiiiiiiiii…" Pichu was glowing brightly now, holding in as much electricity as his little body could take. He could feel his insides burning, feeling like they could give out any second.
"Pichu…" Mewtwo said cautiously.
"PIIIIII…"
"Stop!" Cole raised a glowing hand. Soon roman numerals spun around Pichu and he froze in place.
"Cutting it close weren't we?" Ron asked Cole.
"Not at all." Cole assured him. "The winner is Mewtwo."
"Very well." Mewtwo said.
"…" Cole snapped his fingers, soon Pichu was moving again, collapsed on the ground.
"Piiiiiichuuuuu…" He moaned.
"Come on Pichu… let's go." Mewtwo told him as he floated out of the room, lifting Pichu behind him with telekinesis.
"Where are they going?" Roy asked.
"I think Mewtwo just wants to talk to Pichu." Ness said.
"Next battle is… Tails vs. Rouge!" Ron announced.
"Hmph… that fox boy. Too easy." Rouge commented.
"Go for it Tails!" Sonic cheered.
"Leave it to me." Tails said as he flew down to the arena.
"That bat girl's got nothing on you! Go for it!" Knuckles shouted.
Meanwhile…
"Pichu piiii…" Pichu sighed. He and Mewtwo were in a lounge alone. Pichu was plopped on the couch while Mewtwo was floating near the door.
"I can understand if you're mad Pichu. The Smashers meant a lot to you and now… well now you can't be one." Mewtwo sighed.
"Pichu. Pi pi pichu chu piiiichu." Pichu told him.
"Pichu, I went hard on you because if you couldn't defeat me then how could your safety have been guaranteed in the future? The fact is as a Smasher we face danger. And if we can't stand up to it we will fall." Mewtwo told him. "If I hold any respect for any of you, then I cannot and will not hold back for your sakes."
"Pichu…"
"Pichu… you can still stay in the Smash Dimension you know. You don't have to go back like Y. Link unless you want to. I'm sure the others would like it if you stayed."
"Pichu!" He replied happily.
"I'm glad you think so." Mewtwo said with a nod.
Back to the fighting room…
"I can't believe I lost…" Tails moaned.
"I'll get you for this bat girl!" Knuckles shouted at her.
"Yeah just like you'll get me for stealing that emerald of yours." Rouge teased.
"Grrrrr…"
"Hey while you two were fighting…" Sonic started.
"The winner is Snake!" Ron Host shouted.
"Nice try Blade Knight." Snake said while stretching.
"Ugh… he's good." Blade Knight groaned.
"I can't believe this! Neither of you passed! How are you supposed to protect your king now!? At least Meta-Knight can fulfill his duty better than you two clods put together…" King Dedede yelled.
"What's he saying?" Pit asked Kirby.
"Pyo…" Kirby turned to Dedede and heard the following.
"Bla bla bla bla yap yap dribble bla yammer yammer bla bla!"
"Pyo." Kirby shrugged.
"Okay! The only one from our team that needs to pass is Samus now!" C. Falcon said confidentally.
"Yeah but my match could be a while before…" Samus began to say.
"Samus vs. Dixie Kong!" Ron Host shouted.
"Oh… okay then." Samus simply jumped down to the arena stage.
"Yeah!" Dixie spun through the air, her hair extending and acting as a propeller, which slowed her decent considerably.
"Hmmmm… interesting ability." Samus noted as Dixie landed.
"Begin!" Ron Host shouted.
"…" The top of Samus' arm cannon rose up slightly and released a freezing mist. Samus then fired a few icy blue shots at Dixie.
"Yah! Whoa! Yeah-ha!" Dixie acrobatically flipped through the air and then spun around like a helicopter to glide around the arena slightly.
"Grapple beam." Samus thrust her left arm forward and from underneath it came a blue laser that attached to Dixie's foot.
"Whoa-oh!" Dixie shouted when Samus whipped her against the wall. Samus then fired a single ice beam shot and partially froze Dixie. "Brrrrrrrrr…!!" Dixie shivered.
"The winner is Samus!" Cole shouted before snapping his fingers, melting the ice particles on Dixie.
"Nice try but you'll need to do better than that." Samus told Dixie.
"Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!" Diddy chattered angrily.
"Nuh-uh…" DK told Diddy.
"Aaaawww…"
"What did I miss?" Mewtwo asked from behind Roy and Marth.
"AH! Did you have to teleport like that?" Roy asked.
"Pichu!" Pichu poked out from behind Mewtwo's shoulder.
"Feeling better Pichu?" Marth asked.
"Well you didn't miss too much. Rouge, Snake, and Samus passed." Roy told him as Olimar and Komali entered the battle stage.
"Let the match between Komali and Captain Olimar… begin!" Ron Host shouted.
"I'll pass and move on with Link." Komali said as his arms were replaced with wings. He immediately flew up above Olimar.
"Ugh… I can't jump that high." Olimar sighed. "Hm…? YIPE!!" He quickly ran away as Komali began dropping bombs from a bag around his waist.
BOOM BOOM BOOM
"That's dangerous!" Olimar yelled.
"You can do it Olimar!" Lucas shouted.
"What can that little guy do?" Falco asked.
"I have no idea." Fox said.
"Huuuuuuuuunnnhhh…" Olimar took a deep breath, and then blew in to some whistle.
"Yahoo!" Four yellow pikmin jumped out of Olimar's backpack and circled around him, keeping pace with him perfectly in spite of the bombs blowing up around them.
"I can only carry quite a few pikmin seeds in my backpack, but I can only grow ten of the pikmin seeds in my backpack, but ten is all I'll need." Olimar said. He grabbed one and threw it at Komali where it latched on and began beating on him.
"Ah! Hey that stings!" Komali shouted as he received a slight shock from each hit.
"Yahoo!"
"Huh?"
"Yahoo!"
"Yahoo!"
"Ah!" Olimar threw the other three yellow Pikmin at Komali. All four of them were now beating on him and slowly bringing him closer to the ground.
"Come out everyone!" Olimar blew in to his whistle again. Four red pikmin and two purple pikmin jumped out of his backpack and began following him around.
"What are-a those things-a?" Mario asked.
"They're called Pikmin… discovered by Captain Olimar, they are excellent in working together and following the orders of other peaceful life forms in order to accomplish otherwise impossible tasks for survival." Samus said after she finished scanning the pikmin. "That little man is the man who discovered them."
"Go!" Olimar had the red pikmin grab each other, forming a make-shift rope before he threw them at Komali.
"Hm? Hey!" The red pikmin grabbed him by his ankle and he was now struggling desperately to get away from Olimar, who was pulling furiously with the red pikmin. "Let go!"
"Okay… now!" Olimar grabbed one of the two purple pikmin and threw him at Komali. Olimar then threw the last one at him.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhh!!" Because the two purple pikmin were much heavier Komali instantly fell to the ground.
"Yahoo!" The red pikmin then jumped on Komali and joined in on the pikmin dog-pile Komali was under.
"I get the feeling that Komali won't be the last one to suffer such an inglorious defeat…" Ness commented.
"The winner is Olimar!" Ron Host shouted.
"Oooooooogggg…" Komali groaned.
"Oh dear… he needs some medical attention. To the infirmary!" Olimar shouted.
"Hup-ho, hup-ho, hup-ho…" The ten pikmin picked Komali up and began carrying him out the door.
"NO! THE INFIRMARY NOT THE ONION!!" Olimar shouted desperately while following his Pikmin out the door.
"Why is-a he worried about a vegetable-a?" Luigi wondered.
"Ugh… he told me about those onions… don't ask…" Lucas shuddered as the thought of Komali being shoved up a pikmin's onion crossed his mind.
"Okay… next battle is… Luigi vs…" Ron's voice was covered by some unexplained static in the microphone.
"Eh? Who's-a my opponent-a?" Luigi asked as he jumped down.
"Waaaaaaaaaaahaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!" An orange ghost suddenly appeared in front of Luigi.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Luigi shouted.
"Begin." Cole sighed.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!" Luigi turned and ran around the room desperately as the ghost chased after him.
"Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa…" The ghost moaned spookily.
"WAH!" Luigi was so startled by the ghost's moan that he accidentally shot a lightning bolt from his palm up at the lights.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooohhhh!!" The surge of bright lights made the ghost vanish right before the lights burst.
"Ah! It's-a dark!" Luigi shouted.
"I don't see the problem here." Night-Claw commented.
"Neither do I…" Night-Princess said quietly.
"Well the ghost vanished before the lights went out so Luigi wins." Cole sighed. "But we can't simply pause the matches so the next group will have to fight in the dark."
"But I can't see a foot in front of my face." Link said.
"Ah don't be a baby." Ganondorf told him.
"What was that?"
"Oh look we can still see the screen! The next fight is…" Ron waited for the screen to stop shuffling names. "Pix vs. Pikachu!"
"Heh…" Pix jumped down on to the floor while pulling out some goggles that he put over his eyes.
"Pikachu!" Pikachu also jumped down to the battle floor.
"Begin." Cole said.
"Unfortunately for you, I have special goggles. This darkness is no problem for me." Pix said as he ran forward.
"Pika!" Pikachu quickly dashed to the side hoping to avoid. Unfortunately Pix saw this and kicked Pikachu in to the wall. "Chuuuu!!" Pikachu stifled the pain and got up. "Pik pik pika! Pika pika chuuuuu!" Pikachu hopped from side to side and then spun around once.
"Hm… is it raining in here?" Pix asked as he felt water drops land on him.
"What… this is a scientific impossibility…" Night-Claw said.
"Pikachu's can be taught the special rain dance skill. You'll see what's coming next." Mewtwo told him.
"Wait a minute… I feel like I should know what's coming…" Pix said. "Well I'm not about to sit here and find out… try my grenade launcher!" Pix pulled out a fairly large blaster from his bag and pulled the trigger.
"Pika!" The grenade launcher was much nosier than Pix, thus Pikachu heard the sound of it firing and knew it best to move out of the way quickly.
KABOOM
"PIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!" Pikachu let loose an incredibly large lightning bolt that traveled upward and then crashed down on Pix.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pix shouted.
"Thunder, it's incredibly powerful, but it's accuracy is low unless it's raining." Mewtwo said.
"So he set it up in a way that he couldn't miss even in this darkness. Clever little mouse." Night-Claw said.
"Oooooogggghhhh…" Pix collapsed to the ground. "Should've brought… more insulated… equipment…"
"The winner is Pikachu." Cole said.
"And now the automatic light repairs… are go!" Ron Host shouted. The lights then mysteriously came back on.
"How'd they do that?" Pit asked.
"Some machine in the ceiling replaced the bulbs." Samus said after scanning the ceiling.
"Okay… next battle… Kirby vs. Kiddy Kong!" Ron Host announced.
"Gaaaaaaaaa…" Kiddy stopped sucking his toes and jumped down on to the fighting arena.
"Pyo?"
"Yes Kirby… I do believe your opponent is a baby gorilla." Meta-Knight sighed.
Meanwhile…
"My my… to think that the preliminaries are almost finished."
"I already know who's going to win and who's going home. I believe now is the time we should begin planning our attack."
"Hm hm hm hm hm… very well. I'll trust your judgement Kabuto." Orochimaru replied.
"Yes. All but two of the original smashers will pass, and one of the failures is staying here, and the others… well we can talk about that at length elsewhere Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto told him.
"Right. Another uproar of me being seen here would be most unwanted." Orochimaru said as he and Kabuto were leaving the woods. The moment they left the perimeter of the woods they seemed to vanish in the blink of an eye.
Back to the battle-floor…
"Well done Kirby." Meta-Knight congratulated. "Now we must wait on Pit to finish here."
"Pyo!" Kirby cheered.
"Ha!" Pit held up his mirror shield as an egg with bat wings and a spike tried to dive bomb him, but the egg went back up in to the air. "Whew… he's pretty tough…" Pit sighed.
"You won't stop me from getting my revenge on MARIOOOOOOOOO!!" Jr. Troopa shouted. Jr. Troopa looked the same for the most part except that he had a spike on the top egg-shell and he had bat-like wings.
"Aren't you worried Mario?" Peach asked.
"Nah… Jr. Troopa has-a gotten pretty strong-a, but-a Pit will win-a for sure-a." Mario said confidently.
"Light arrow!" Pit fired a light arrow at Jr. Troopa, who dodged it pretty easily.
"Ha! Missed! DOH!" But he didn't notice that the arrow curved around and hit him from behind, knocking him to the floor where Pit met him with a solid kick. "Ouch! That's it!" Jr. Troopa became veiled in a cloud of smoke.
When the smoke cleared he was no longer donning the spike and wings, but instead he was holding a wooden wand. "Take this!" Jr. Troopa pointed the wand at Pit and sent magical blasts in the shape of a triangle, square, and circle at Pit.
"…" Pit simply held up his mirror shield and reflected it back at Jr. Troopa.
BOOM
"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!"
"Sorry Mr. Troopa." Pit said while taking a bow. Jr. Troopa then spun around dizzily before hitting the floor.
"The winner is Pit!" Ron Host shouted.
"NOOOOOOOO!! MARIOOOOOO!! PIIIIIIIIIIT!!" Jr. Troopa shouted before running out of the room.
"Well done-a Pit!" Mario cheered.
"Pyo!"
"Well, there are only two contestants left. Would Night-Claw and Shadow come down to the fighting arena for the last battle?" Cole requested.
"Finally." Night-Claw said.
"Hmph… he's my opponent? Too easy." Shadow scoffed.
"Good luck Night-Claw." Night-Roller told him.
"Be careful." Night-Princess said to him.
"Don't worry guys." Night-Claw said while stretching. "You ready?"
"Hmph… you're one to talk." Shadow responded.
"This could get rough." Ike commented.
"Begin!" Ron Host shouted.
…Notes…
"Well the last battle of the prelims is here and…"
"Oh boy oh boy! This looks good! Who's gonna win!? Who's gonna win!?" Crazy Hand interrupted me.
"Would you let me finish what I was…"
"Ha ha ha ha ha! This is a battle of finality in which the victor of this battle of absolute finality shall be most victorious in the most victorious victroiousness! It is like the victorious mustard on the victor's bread of his sandwich of victory! THE MUSTARD OF THE LOSER'S DOOM!!"
"Oh cork it Fawful! You just ruined my next chapter preview! Ugh… read and review…" I moan.