Author's Note: I know, I haven't updated in forever, but blame summer school (Today was the last day! Yay!) Gahhh, one more month until season two starts! I'm DYING here! Anyway, this chapter's Chuck's thoughts during the infamous "A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate" bar scene. Read and don't forget to review please!

Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl, season two would be airing now!

Chuck Bass looked down at the brown liquid in his glass and took a sip of the drink, allowing the scotch to trickle down his throat. He looked at the glass, hoping maybe it would numb the pain. So far it wasn't working. Sighing to himself, Chuck set down the glass and shivered slightly. It was freezing and he wasn't wearing his signature scarf.

"Chuck", fifteen-year-old Nate welcomed, patting his friend's back as he entered Blair's Waldorf's annual Christmas party a good hour late.

"Nathaniel, my man, Merry Christmas", Chuck greeted, "Where's the hostess?"

"In her room", he responded, "She said she had something to do. Why are you late?"

"I was taking care of something", Chuck vaguely replied.

"What?" Nate probed.

"The question is whom", Chuck smirked.

"Oh," Nate stated.

"I'll be right back", Chuck informed his friend, sauntering away, knowing his friend wouldn't question him.

Immediately, he headed upstairs, feeling the small velvet box in his pocket. He had bought Blair a pair of Tiffany diamonds for Christmas. He was positive she'd love them. As he ascended the stairs, he felt a gnawing nervousness in the pit of his stomach. What if she hated them? That was impossible. He took a deep breathe before knocking firmly on her bedroom door.

"Blair? Are you there?"

He waited for about five minutes and still no answer.

"Blair?"

Finally, he decided he would just go inside. He swung open the door to reveal it empty.

"Waldorf, where are you?" Chuck asked, partially to himself, before hearing Blair's bathroom door swing open.

"What do you want, Bass? And what are you doing in my room?" she interrogated with an icy glare.

"I just arrived and I was wondering where you were", he shot back.

He allowed his eyes to skim over her. Her hair was slightly mussed and she looked sickly and pale.

"Oh", she flatly stated.

"Are you okay?" he inquired.

"I'm fine", she glared, rolling her eyes and walking over to her bed, plopping down on it.

"Spit it out, Waldorf", he commanded, his voice softening a bit.

"Nothing", she insisted.

"I'm not buying it", he informed her.

"Fine. Eleanor was giving me a hard time about my weight, and I was upset, so I came up here. I picked out this amazing Dolce at Bendel's to wear tonight. It was white silk and I just bought it. My mom saw me in it and suggested I change into something more 'flattering'. Anyway, whatever. It's not important ," she explained.

"Don't listen to your mother. She's being ridiculous," Chuck insisted.

"Thanks", she whispered.

"You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise", he muttered so softly that Blair barely heard him.

"So, what did you want, Bass?" she smirked.

"I thought I'd come up to give you your present," he told her, sliding the black velvet box out of his pocket and handing it to her.

She looked up at him, raising one eyebrow, before opening it.

"It's amazing", she gasped, smiling slightly, "Thanks".

"You're welcome", Chuck responded with a smirk.

"This would look amazing with my Dolce", she mused.

"Then wear it", he suggested.

"What? No. My mother told me it was unflattering", she reminded him.

"Just try it on with them. If it really looks horrible, I'll tell you," he promised.

"Fine", she sighed, rolling her eyes, grabbing the dress off of her chair and heading into her bathroom.

As Blair changed, Chuck couldn't help but think there was something else off about the situation. She looked so pale. He decided to disregard it once he saw Blair exit the room clad in a white silk dress, red pumps, and her new earrings. She looked amazing. He had no idea what Eleanor was thinking.

"Your mother is completely insane", Chuck chuckled.

"Thanks", she smiled.

"Wear it", he insisted.

"No," she shot back.

"Waldorf, come on, just wear it. You look…stunning", he grinned devilishly.

"Fine", she smiled, "Well, I might as well give you your gift now", she decided, strutting over to her vanity and picking up a silver box.

She handed it to Chuck and he immediately began to open it. He slid the box open to reveal a red patterned scarf.

"A scarf?" he speculated.

"I saw it at Bergdorf's and it screamed Chuck Bass", she defended.

"I like it", he thanked.

"I'm glad", she retorted.

"Shall we?" he suggested, nodding toward the door.

Blair simply followed him rather than responding. He smirked to himself, running his fingers over the pattern. He would never take off this scarf again.

Chuck groaned, lifting his scotch to drown out all thoughts of Blair. What was he thinking? Yeah, he loved her, but was she really worth risking his friendship with Nate? They had always been best friends and now it was all falling apart because of some girl. He hated Blair. He never wanted to see her again as long as he lived.

He placed the glass down and began to blankly stare at it as he heard the sound of the glass door opening. He heard footsteps approaching him and prayed that it wasn't Blair Waldorf.

But of course, he recalled that all of the elements of the universe were against him, as he saw the petite brunette saunter in front him and take a seat at the stool next to his.

"Can I get you anything?" the bartender asked.

"No thank you", she responded.

He looked up and simply stared at her. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she attempted to make eye contact with him. Chuck simply stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say or even what to think.

"I came to congratulate you in person", she sarcastically stated, "You ruined my relationship with Nate, Serena, all my friends; even Little Jenny thinks she's too good for me. So, bravo. Just like you wanted. I have no one to turn to but you".

"Actually you don't even have me," he informed her.

"Enough", she retorted.

He loved her. Chuck Bass was hopelessly in love with and had been for as long as he could remember; however, she could have cared less. He was her rebound guy after Nate. Just someone to fool around with. She never even cared about him. He was just someone to numb the pain and he couldn't stand the thought of that. He loathed it in fact. He may have ruined her relationship with Nate, but she ruined his friendship with Nate. And as much as he hated to admit it, she broke his heart.

"I'll try to be more succinct", he began, "You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. Now-now you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would".

Chuck reached for his glass and took a huge gulp of alcohol, attempting to erase the visual of Blair's hurt, defeated expression from his mind.

He swallowed, folding his hands and resting his chin in them. He vowed not to looks at Blair. He didn't want to see if she was crying or what her facial expression was. He was apathetic toward her.

He heard her tiny footsteps as she rose from the chair and headed out of the room.

Chuck turned and looked where she had just left. Who was he kidding? He didn't mean any of that shit. He only wished he was completely apathetic toward her. That she was just some girl who wasn't worth it. That he didn't want her anymore. Because the truth was he wasn't. Chuck turned and took a sip of his scotch. He loved her more than she would ever know and more than he would ever admit.

A/N: Well, that's the end of this chapter! I'm worried that it was a little OOC. Review and let me know what you thought! Thank you!