Author's Note:

Thank you for all the reviews. They make me incredibly happy. I will try to reply to them soon. But, I have been incredibly sick, unfortunately or I would have written this while back. I hate to make false promises about when I update, so I will try to not break any more promises. Please, try to excuse errors. I have been ill, and I have not had enough sufficient time. I will update an edited copy later.

I hope that you like this chapter. This is a very difficult chapter to write. Hardest without a doubt. I feel very nervous about writing it, because I do not want to let anyone down with the next leg of the story. Somehow, as crazy as it sounds, writing the first part of it was easier. This chapter is from Bella's point of view.

Music: Damien Rice- "I will remember." Coldplay- "Viva la vida

I hope that you enjoy, and please REVIEW.

Twirl

"There's No Place Like Home"

I will always love you, Edward. I whispered through the cloth. And with that as the last thought through my mind, after using every ounce of energy and strength during the past, my mind slipped away for the very last time. If I had another second, if I could have lasted one more second, I would have seen the door fling open and the men that stood…

--

As soon as the tidal wave collapsed over me that rendered me unconsciousness, my mind subconsciously blocked my thoughts, my memories, any pains of what I was leaving behind. Yet, as I felt my mind leaving my body, I did not know what was happening. Was this death? Was this one of those supernatural outer body experiences? For after all I have experience within the last two years, I would certainly believe it. But, what if this was the end? Whatever wanted on the other side of life… whatever death entailed…Edward would not be with me. As much as every moment of forever, my entire body would ache for him in whatever place I ended up, whether in Heaven, Hell, or someplace in between, I did not want him returning to Italy. I wanted him to keep living the best he could.

As much as I wished I could be selfish enough to wish him to be with me, I could not do that, I had to be selfless. His family was behind in Earth, living, or at least the best that vampires could live. He had to remain behind to support his family, to be with them as he was with them before me, during me, and will be after me. He would survive after me. And that gave me a sense of confidence, knowing that regardless of what happened next, regardless of where I would end up, Edward was alive, with his family. That gave me a since of renewal, in this current deplorable situation.

But, what situation was this? Is this the clichéd tunnel spoken about in legends, about the time till I saw the light? And as if someone heard my proverbial thoughts, I could see a distant light through the slits in my eyes. My eyes were closed, yet the light that peeked through the slits was near blinding me.

And yet, at this moment, I felt as though my body was renewed. All the pain, suffering, and agony I went through were gone. And, even better, my body was not numb with the emotions; it was not remaining dormant to remain alive. My body, my spirit were renewed, bathed in a shower of rebirth.

I found, with the new power strength, the ability to sit up. I moved my arms backwards and placed my palms on the ground near my thighs. Yet, I did not feel the smoothness of the sheet, yet I felt the prickles of blades on grass. Immensely intrigued by the new feeling, I opened my eyes.

The light coming through the trees first blinded my intake of the area around me, but then I saw it and gasped…

I was in the meadow, yet this was not the exact meadow Edward had taken to me. It was on some levels, yet on others it was completely different. It looked as though all sins, all negative aspects whatsoever had been replaced with more beauty. The light from the sun made the green twinkle throughout the air. The canopy of trees in the distance appeared as though they were clouds nearing the earth. It was perfect… I suppose this was Heaven or Heaven to me.

The beauty failed to keep me rooted to the ground. Of all the places I could have gone, I came here, to the place that will always be the most special reminder of him. The sheer notion that this was the place where I would spend forever was daunting, yet amazing at the same time. Even if he was not here, I would always be connected to him.

"Hello, Bella, dear," a voice called, which brought me out of my reprieve. I looked up to see a beautiful, middle-aged woman standing around twenty paces in the center of the meadow. I looked at her closely. The light bounced off her skin and caused it to glow. Not sparkle, yet shine in a light of happiness, maybe even pride. My eyes continued to move across her, taking in her appearance. I moved up to her face. Her crooked smile was oddly familiar, as well her beautiful green eyes. And her hair was oddly tainted with a smidge of red…she reminded me of him…she looked like Edward.

"Hello?" I said, as though questioning my entire existence. Questions radiated throughout my mind… Who was she? Where was I? Was I dead? Is this Heaven?

"I imagine that you have numerous questions, dear. I will be gladly to answer them in all due time." She smiled at me and walked over to where I was lying in the grass. "Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?" She asked not taking her eyes away from my face.

"No."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella. My name is Elizabeth Masen." As soon as the words left her mouth, my ears did a double take on their meaning. She must have seemed my hesistance.

"I am Edward's mother." She replied back, shaking her head in a combination of pride and glee.

"It's pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Masen."

"Please, call me Elizabeth. I feel as though I know you so well already." This comment intrigued me deeply. Even though she was Edward's mother, how does she know me so well?

"Sorry, my dear. I have not explained myself at all. Ever since I died due to the flu, I have been watching over my son daily. I am lucky enough to be able to enjoy time with my husband, yet we both find pleasure in looking out for our son. I have watched him over the decades closely; both succeed and fail in life's many adventures. I have watched him to my most delight and happiness fall in love with you. Never have I been as happy as I am now."

"Elizabeth," my voice shaking with a new found curiosity of mine of a comment Edward mentioned months ago, "did you know that Carlisle was a vampire when you asked him to watch over your son? Are you glad…" My voice finally broke off with the last question, unable to voice my last concerns of whether or not she was happy that her son was immortal. Her eyes glowed at my question and understood my intention.

"Yes and no, my dead. I knew that Carlisle was something, something other than human for sure. And if I was wrong, I knew that he was the most capable person to help my son. I knew that Carlisle would be able to help him in a way no one else could. As for your second question, I assume that you are curious of whether I regret my decision to ask Carlisle to save him."

I nodded my head in reply.

"I have never regretted that decision a day of my life. When Edward was placed in that situation, he was seventeen years of age, too young, too inexperienced of the world outside him. He had not experienced life completely. And to not wish for him to live longer would impede on the greatest gift a mother can give his son, life…and happiness. If his life would have ended that day, he would have never known the best treasures in life. He would never have experienced love, which you kindly shown him.

"I will not say that I was not surprised when I came to understand what my son became, that he was a vampire. I had always thought them simple legends. Yet, regardless of the physical changes my son went through, he did not change. He always remained the same wonderful man that I raised, the same wonderful man that I love with every fiber of my being.

"And then I saw him grow in the ways that a mother wishes their child to grow. Of course, he made his mistakes. And due to his current condition, his mistakes were graver than most. Yet, he learned from them and continued to live the best way he could.

"And as the years go by, I see the love and kindness that his family bestows on him. A love that mirrors my own and I am happy that he is there to enjoy it. Carlisle and Esme are the best two people I could wish to watch over my son, in addition to the wonderful people that he now calls his siblings. This life has given him siblings, something that I was unable to give to him during my life.

"And now, the best has come into his life, you. Every smile upon his face is caused by your presence, and I can never thank you enough for making him happy. It is a mother's dream for their child to be happy, and you fulfilled it.

"I look down upon your head and see my ring that Edward's father gave me so many years ago, and I realize that I could never pick some one better to be with Edward. You are the perfect match, and the love between you two is one that is hardly ever matched." As she finished her speech, I realized that my eyes were not brimming with tears only because I was unable to cry. Each word of her speech made my heart roar with happiness and pride. Yet, how could she think so highly of me? I was so simple plain and not perfect compared to her son, the love of my life.

"Thank you so much. I love your son beyond all words. He makes my life worth living."

"I know Bella, and I thank you." We spent the next moment completely locked in silence, a moment of fresh air that blew in. It was calm and peaceful as it lay across the meadow.

"Elizabeth, where am I?" I whispered quietly, trying to not ruin the mood.

It is quite complicated, yet I will do my best. You, my dear, are currently in a place between the living and the dead, Heaven. I believe the most accurate term to describe it is Limbo, a middle ground."

"I thought I was dead with everything that happened…"

"You would have been, if Edward did not come in when he did."

"Edward?"

"Yes, Edward walked into the room and bit you."

"Shouldn't I be a vampire now? Or transforming?" I questioned. From what I knew of vampires, I should have been withering in pain currently slowly dying not here.

"Your body, darling, is transforming. However, he nearly lost you. With the combination of the damage to your body and the poison those men injected you with, you really should be dead. If my son had walked in a second later, then he would have been too late. He was almost too late. I believe they all are still unaware of whether or not you will wake up, unless Alice has seen anything." Her voice was sweet and kind, even when she spoke of the crimes the men had committed. She had the love and caring ability, of Esme, yet her entire personality and tone mirrored Edward's.

"Then why I am here while my body is there?"

"For many reasons, my dear. The most crucial one is that Edward was on the line between saving you and it being to late. If he was indeed too late, you still would have come to this place before Heaven. He was so close to losing you, he almost lost you, yet he was able to grab a string of you when he arrived. I am unsure of how to explain it. He was just able to keep your body at that moment. Your mind, your soul was already gone, yet you will return to it in two days. The other reasons, though not nearly as important or crucial, are a little more personal."

"Personal?"

"Bella, I hate to bring it up so soon. But, what the men did to you was the lowest base of humanity there is in the world. You have been lucky enough to have had experienced that level before, even with James or with the Volturi. They took your entire control. This place is offered as a way for you to regain your ideas, if possible, of the world and of humanity before being thrown back into life. A break from humanity if you may…

"Additionally, the transformation is extremely painful. You are able to escape the pain. Furthermore, Edward is able to not see the pain that the transformation causes. He would have been in constant agony if he was there while you were in pain. It is a blessing to him that he does not see that torture."

"But, doesn't he wonder where I am? What is happening?"

"Of course. But, his emotional pain would have been greater if you were awake."

"I see."

"Bella, I have a favor to ask you. I hope that you do not mind me asking." She asked shyly.

"No, of course not. I will be happy to do anything."

"When you wake up, my son will be incredibly guilty. He thinks that you will be upset with him. He thinks that you will be angry that you were transformed. He continues to believe that you deserve Heaven after enduring Hell on Earth. He believes that he just sentenced an angel to Hell forever. I am asking you that when you return that you try to make him not feel that. I know you will do your best, but please it's the only thing that I could ask of you. This somewhat relates to this being a break for you. If you understand what I mean?"

Her words brought a new meaning to this place, and a flood of thoughts flashed through my mind. Edward was blaming himself. Not only was he blaming himself for not saving me from the men, he was blaming himself from biting me. How much self-guilt could one person have? Currently, Edward was blaming himself for every second he had left me along while this atrocity occurred. He felt responsible for allowing this to happen… yet how does one even allow this to happen? It just happens.

It is not his fault. It is life. I do not know how Alice did not see the beginning of the act, while I was away from La Push, but she didn't. It was a split second decision to change roads and swing. When else does an eighteen year old decide to have a trip down memory lane by swinging? It was just one of life's many choices… Perhaps it was being in this place or maybe almost dying, yet a new sense of perspective and calm came over me.

Not only I have to take in consideration Edward's guilt, but I needed to realize the affect that experience had on me, on my body. As I sat in the meadow, all of a sudden, it felt as though I was reliving every blow to my body all over again. I could hear the words that John spoke as he took control of me. I could feel the thrusts inside my body and the blows to my skin. The sensation of the blood flowing over my body was able to be felt on my legs, on my arms, all over my skin. I was reliving every moment of the torture.

The pain was again the same mountainous agony that once crippled my body, yet I pushed it away from my mind as the wind continued to blow into the meadow. I would never stop fighting, that's what I said the moment I realized I was going to experience that torture. I promised myself and Edward that I would not surrender. I would never surrender, and I surely would never surrender now.

That is what the men wanted all along in addition to the physical satisification. They wanted the mental acknowledgement that they had control over me, that they broke me. They wanted to make me lose all control, feel as though I would never have control again over my body. Each man aspired to make me feel like I was not worth anything, simple filth, used and discarded. Yet, I would never feel those things. Never would I feel them. For the moment I did, I surrendered.

It was not about being strong and not letting your emotions through. It was not about trying to bottle up the past and not comfort it. It was knowing the truth. That no matter how many blows my body took and how many times they had me… they did not have control over me. They would never take my spirit or my life. As clichéd as it might sound, no matter what they did, they would never break that. I would not let them.

At this moment, sitting in this meadow, I realized the future. I knew what I was going to do. I was going to go back and make Edward realize that this was not his fault. Life is unpredictable, as much as Alice tries to convince everyone it is not. Things can happen at a moment's glance, and all anyone can do is react the best way they can. Good things happen in addition to bad things. This was a bad thing, yet as they always say, "Without the thorns, the rose would not smell as sweet." Maybe those proverbs did have some meaning in life. Meaning in life, that I would continue to show to Edward. I would tell him as many times as it took that I was happy that he bit me, that he kept me. For as much as he might realize that I am living in Hell, that he kept me from Heaven, that he damned me forever, or whatever else he would say, Heaven would never be Heaven without him. And I would only every want to be with him…

As I felt the blades on grass continue to touch my feet, I realized the strength that Rosalie displayed to live past an event like this. The strength that I would have every moment of the rest of entirety. Yet, in my mind, it was not strength. It would not be hard to live forever, unlike some people might think. I would not shy away from men due to the lack of trust those men shod me. I would not lose my sense of self or being. I would not feel like filth or used goods. I would not feel any emotions that they tried to inflict upon me. Not because of strength, but I know who I am, and they cannot take that away from me. No matter what they did or what anyone ever does…they cannot take that away from me. Never.

"Thank-you." I smiled at her as I lifted my head to look into her beautiful green eyes, that I imagined that Edward had as a human. "I understand the personal reasons why I am here, and I thank you."

"I assume that you would. You are a very intelligent woman, Bella." If I had to ability to blush, I knew that I would. Yet, either due to the current location or my changing body, I was unable to feel the rush of red to my cheeks. I could only reply a simple thank you.

"Just wondering, but how is this possible…this place?" To my shock, my bent her head back and laughed a beautiful, careful laugh that reminded me closely of Edward.

"Bella, I stopped asking the how's a while ago? I stopped asking how whenever I realized that my son became a vampire who fights with werewolves and tried to commit suicide by appealing to the vampire 'royal family.' I stopped asking how whenever my son feel completely in love with a girl born a hundred years after him that makes his world worth living. Now, I just try to take the good and the bad the best way I can." She smiled at me. Her eyes looked as though they would have been brimming with tears under another circumstance. In addition, a strong emotion ran through them… love.

"I can see your point." I replied with a chuckle. I would never have believed that life I was living three years ago, but who ever does? Sometimes life is just too good to be true, even if you have to live though the bad times.

"On a more serious note, I know there is no way that you can be entirely, but are you coping with the tragedy that occurred?" Elizabeth Masen questioned.

"Actually, surprisingly so," I replied. "It is hard to think of being able to bounce back so quickly, but I am."

"It is okay to grieve and experience pain over the experience. You cannot keep everything bottled up. It's not healthy." Her wonderful motherly instincts were shining through with each word.

"I know. The strangest thing is that I am alright with everything that happened, or at least the best way I can be. I know that returning home might be hard, but I know that I am still me, no matter what they did to me. Sometimes, you have to just realize the past and move on. I will never forget the past and I do not want to, because it makes you who you are today. I believe that experience, for lack of better words, will make me stronger. I have seen the worst of humanity, and I would be lying if I said if I did not change due to that. Seeing the worst of humanity has only made me more grateful for the best, which is my life, my family, and most importantly Edward." I spoke with a new found sense of confidence.

The woman came over to my right side and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a gentle hug. I could feel the love that she expressed.

"You are stronger than any else my dear. And I know that Edward will be there to help you if you ever need it."

"I know he will, and I will also be there to prove to him that I am extremely happy with my life."

"I believe you will. I believe you will."

Two days was the amount of time I found out I would spend in this sacred place. As much as though I hated spending it away from Edward, I felt insanely comfortable in the location. His mother and I spent the two days together in the meadow talking about many things. I realized that she was similar to Esme it was uncanny, and she possessed a sense of wisdom that only comes from years of experience. As the hours rolled by, we discussed abstract ideas such of hopes and dreams to concrete items such as books and music. Similar to her son, we entered a periods of constant questioning, understanding each other better. And we bonded even more over the conversations and love of her son, my fiancé…Edward. The conservations were uplifting in many ways. She understood all of feelings, both warranted and unwarranted, due to her insight in the past, love of her son, and a mother's instinct. Any thought, any shred of doubt about anything in the future was wiped away by her words.

Over the two days, she became a mother to me in many ways, wishing good luck and giving advice for the future. Yet, on a deeper level, she was becoming a friend, a perfect confidant. Untroubled by desires of food or drink, the conservation never stopped. It was sensational that throughout all those minutes of conservations never did a moment of unpleasant silence erupt. Moments of thought came and went, yet always the atmosphere was calm and relaxed.

After so much love was shared and so many minutes spent, she stood to her feet. "Bella, it is time to go back."

"Back?" I was unsure at first at what she meant.

"Back to your body. You do have to choice to stay here, yet after all I have seen and heard from you, that would never be your choice."

"Absolutely not, I want to return to Edward." She nodded in reply as her smile grew. I stood up and walked over to where she was. Elizabeth reached out her hand, and I grasped it in reply. She walked me over to the edge of the clearing leading back into the surrounding woods. At the moment where I should have been under the canopy of leaves, the location changed rapidly and I was standing on the porch on the Cullen's house.

"How…" I murmured. She only glanced upon my expression and chuckled. I remembered her beginning words of how "How's" left long ago.

"Bella, to return, you need to go up and enter Edward's room. Your body is currently on his bed in life. Lay down on the bed, close your eyes, and imagine yourself falling back into your body. Imagine and feel the desire to return."

"Okay," I replied, a little unsure of myself.

"I am not sure how this works or anything, but it will get you back to Edward. Be safe, my dear. I will walk with you to his room." We walked through the doorway. The room was a direct replica, yet it continued to shimmer in a special, heavenly light. We ambled up the steps and directly in front of the room.

"Bella, before I leave you, I am immensely proud that you will shortly be married to my son. There is not other woman in the world that deserves him more than you do. Your love is immense, and I will always thank you for that. Lastly, I will always love you as though you are my own, my own daughter." The words gripped my mind, and I could not help but grin. I told her many times that I was the one that did not deserve her son during the time in the meadow, but she continued to try to convince me I was mistaken. I nodded unable to gather my voice due to the emotions rippling through my body.

As I grasped the handle to his room, "I love you too, mom," flew from my lips. Elizabeth Masen nodded, and her eyes continued to brim with happiness and love. I opened the door completely, and she shut it behind me. I walked over to the bed and lay down on it. I knew there was no place in the world that I would rather be than with Edward. And as I imagined my soul falling back into my body, I did.

A/n: Hardest chapter to write, so please review to let me know. Did you like it? What did you hate, if anything? Boring…? Action will be coming up shortly. Love it, hate…please let me know!!