Author's Note:
I am deeply sorry for the lack of updates. Due to reviews, especially 4getme, I was compelled to finish this. It is short, because it was on a whim. It shows and highlights the next leg of the story. For those that wanted drama, well… look here.
Song: Halo by Bethany Joy Lenz (One Tree Hill star)
Love it, hate it. Let me know. Reviews are great!
Twirlon
Halo
Disbelief was not an accurate word to describe the shock in Edward's eyes. The color of his eyes began to swirl and turn in turmoil.
"Are you sure?" Edward questioned me. I was slightly taken back by this. We are vampires for goodness sakes and he is questioning MY SANITY. I could not change what had happened in the meadow or in my unconscious state.
"Absolutely," I replied.
"It does make somewhat sense about how calm you are and relax."
"Yes, and I really did enjoy talking to your mother." My eyes turned downcast at the entire idea that I got to experience time with Edward's mother, but Edward, himself, was not afforded the same curtsey.
"Let's go downstairs and discuss this with Carlisle and everyone. They have been worried almost as much as I have been. I almost had to restrain Alice from leaping up the steps to hug you." Edward muttered with a gleam in his eye. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and Edward pulled me up into his arms giving a still chaste kiss. I suppose it would take time to increase the physical side of the relationship.
Walking down the stairs, I grabbed a hold of the banister causing it to dissolve in splinters. I turned towards Edward worried about destroying Esme's beautiful creation, yet he just returned his crooked smile.
"BELLLLLLAA!" I heard from the living room. Alice ran up to me and locked me in a tight grip. If I was alive, I would have surely have perished due to the impact. Yet, the impacts just continued by each of the family members.
"Bella, if it is all right, could you please discuss what happed to you?" Carlisle questioned. Yet, I saw his eyes flicker to Edward's face, and Carlisle nodded.
"Please, stop that," I uttered.
"Bella, I do not think it is the best idea." Edward replied looking around the room.
"Why, I just told you about the conversation and the events."
"Yes, you did. But you didn't talk about the…um…. rape, itself." I noticed that as he spoke his fists clenched and unclenched in pure rage.
"I should be fine." I whispered, yet everyone could hear it. I thought I could tell the tale, so I began.
The audience remained silence as I told the story. I told about the car ride to the bookstore. I told about taking the walk through the park. I told about swinging on a swing, and then I realized that I had to tell what happened next. I had to tell them all, here, about it, about how they touched me, and how they drugged me. I had to tell about how those cruel men touched me, touched me in places that Edward even had not yet. I had to tell them about how I was embarrassed and degraded beyond any low. I couldn't it. I just couldn't. Who was I fooling here? I could not tell the story, and for more than just one reason.
For I knew, as soon as Edward and his family knew the entire tale, they would be in disgrace. Who would want a "dirty" fiancé as a new member of a family? Who would want that disgrace in their life? I would only cause them shame, especially Edward. Poor, poor Edward. I could not do that to him. He deserved someone that was perfect, like him. He deserved someone that believed deeply in sins and virtues as he did. He deserved someone that was still as innocent as him. He deserved someone that was not raped. I was not good anymore. I was spoiled goods. I was brutally raped and drugged and molested and embarrassed, and beaten, and bruised, and poisoned. I would only cause shame to this wonderful family….I could not tell them. I could not seal my fate in their eyes, well at least not yet. And, they did not deserve the presence of my life in their presence. I needed to help them all. I needed to get out of here.
"I am sorry…so sorry," I got up and ran out of the door. It was not a plan. I wanted to go up to the room to take a break. Yet, somehow, whether consciously or subconsciously I knew that I needed to go away. I needed to leave this area. I needed to sacrifice my happiness, so that Edward could have his. Edward deserved someone that is perfect, and that is not me. And of course, even if Edward loathed me for the actions, he would try to suffer it out to please me and help me. I could not let him be unhappy. I needed to take myself out of the picture. I needed to leave him, I needed to leave him for a while, if not forever, and so I ran. I ran as fast as I could ever run. I ran over tree branches, over rivers, and father and farther as I went the less and less I remembered the words that Edward's mother taught me about forgiveness and acceptance.
Edward had given me so much in my life… it was time I returned the favor by leaving, by leaving forever…