Author's Note: Well, dearies, here is chapter twelve. It is Chuck's thoughts during the elevator scene at the end of "Gone With The Will". Read and review please! :)

Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl, Chuck would not have slept with randoms in the last episode, and Jack Bass would be running his stupid company in Australia, far away from Chuck and Blair.

Chuck Bass completely loathed himself. Could he have been any more of an idiot? Jack had set him up and he fell for it. Completely.

And disappointed the one person he cared about more than anything in the process.

He felt completely and totally disgusting and all he could think to do was to apologize to Blair. He knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness, but he couldn't help but hope maybe she would do so anyway.

He stepped into the elevator at the Waldorf penthouse, a bouquet of flowers in hand. He knew it looked rather pathetic to come to her with just a small collection of pink peonies.

"Nathaniel, to what do I owe this pleasure?" A fifteen-year-old Chuck Bass questioned into his phone.

"Shit, man, I need a favor," Nate begged.

"If you want the number of Kim from room service, all you have to do is ask, but I don't know how Blair would feel about that," Chuck responded.

"I need you to pick me up a birthday present for Blair," Nate insisted, ignoring Chuck's witty remark.

"Tell me you did not forget her birthday. I would hate to be you right now," Chuck smirked.

"Chuck, please. I forgot about her birthday until she left a message reminding me that I need to be at her house at six. I'm at lacrosse and I don't have time to get her something," Nate explained.

"Fine," Chuck agreed, "I'll drop something off at your house in an hour."

"Thanks, man," Nate thanked before hanging up.

What the hell was Chuck supposed to do? There was no way he could find something good enough for Blair on such short notice. She was the pickiest person he knew.

He flopped down on the couch on his suite and began to think. How could Nate forget Blair's birthday? Some knight in shining armor he was. And the worst part was that Blair would never even know it. She would just continue living in her fantasy world, completely oblivious to the fact that Nate was far from perfection and it drove Chuck insane. More than anything.

He willed himself to concentrate on what to get Blair for Nate. As he did so, his eyes fell on a small box sitting atop his night stand. It was perfect.

Chuck had bought Blair what he believed to be the perfect present. It was a beautiful gold ring with a little ruby stone in the center.

The second he saw it, he knew he had to get it for her. It was delicate-looking and elegant much like Blair.

Chuck couldn't wait to give it to her. He knew she would love it no matter what disgusted act she put on.

But now, he couldn't help but think he should let Nate give it to her. She would love it even more that way. Thinking that her so-called-perfect boyfriend gave it to her for her sixteenth birthday. It was much more appealing than receiving it from the slimy best friend.

Chuck rose to his feet, sauntered across his suite, picking up the box to take to the Archibalds'.

Chuck ended up giving Blair a small bouquet of pink peonies for her birthday. She acted as though she were disgusted with the small present, but later that week he saw the bouquet sitting by her nightstand.

As he watched her open Nate's present that was meant to be from him, he felt envy surge through his body. It was supposed to be his gift that made her lips twist into a grin and her brown eyes light up. But at least he would have the satisfaction of knowing that it was really from him. That it was his ring she wore on her finger every day after that.

Chuck Bass had salvaged Blair Waldorf's sixteenth birthday and she was completely unaware of it.

Eventually, the elevator reached the penthouse and the elevator doors slid open to reveal Blair standing before him.

He eyed her petite form, finally reaching her eyes, attempting to make eye contact with her. God, she was so beautiful. He didn't deserve her.

After a moment of silence, he finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry," Chuck apologized in a small, broken voice, "I screwed up."

That was probably understatement of the year. Chuck had done some pretty shitty things, but this took the cake.

He watched as Blair took the bouquet from him, eyeing it carefully.

He knew he didn't deserve a second chance but he hoped to God she would give him one. At this point, he would do anything. He had been through so much, and the only person that had stood by him through it all was Blair, and he had hurt her the most.

A sick feeling entered his stomach as he nervously waited for her response to his apology.

"It's too late, Chuck," Blair decided as Chuck's heart sank, "I've stood by you through all of this, but I can't watch you self destruct any longer."

"Jack set me up," Chuck explained.

Maybe she would believe him. Maybe she would forgive him.

He heard the elevator door start to close and put his hand in front of it. He wasn't done. He couldn't let her go. Not yet.

"You have no one to blame but yourself," Blair replied, "I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You were the only one who didn't."

Chuck felt something inside of him die as he listened to Blair. She believed in him. She really thought that he could run his father's company. That he could be a better person. And he had let her down.

As he watched hot tears well up in her large chocolate eyes, he wanted to die. He hated himself. He really and truly loathed himself.

"All I wanted to do was just be there," Blair admitted in a small voice, "But today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world."

Chuck bit his lip, turning his head to the side for a moment. He couldn't look at her. His stomach dropped more and more each second that he did.

She was so wrong. It wasn't the worst word in the world, and he wanted so badly to tell her. Chuck may have had commitment issues. He may have hired more than a few hookers in his lifetime. But at the end of the day, he always pictured himself standing at the altar watching her walk down the aisle, her chocolate curls flowing to her shoulders, her lips twisted into a smirk. Even though he knew it would never happen, he couldn't help but think about it.

In fact, at that moment, Chuck couldn't help but think that telling her he loved her wouldn't have done any good. If he thought it would have he would have said it right then and there because he definitely felt it.

But as he stared at the broken girl in front of him, he knew he had done too much. That it wouldn't cut it.

The idea of proposing crossed his mind, but this was not the time or place. Nor would she have said yes, because he sure as hell didn't deserve it. But, he couldn't live without her.

He couldn't lose her. He needed to make her believe that.

"Blair, please," Chuck pleaded, reaching out toward her.

He felt his stomach sink further, if that was even possible, as she convulsed at his approach.

He looked into her teary orbs, silently pleading her to forgive him. To take him back. To understand how much he hated himself for what he did to her.

"I'm sorry," Blair whispered, "But, I'm done."

Chuck felt as if his heart had completely shattered as he listened to her mutter those words.

He wanted to do something. He wanted to say something. But nothing could really make a difference at this point. So, he took one last longing glance at her before stepping back into the elevator, holding her gaze as long as possible.

Before the elevator could completely shut, she threw the bouquet of peonies onto the floor beside him.

As he eyed the tiny bouquet, he couldn't help but feel completely hopeless, because just like the peonies, their relationship had been completely thrown away.

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm actually not sure if the flowers are peonies, but they look like it, so yeah. Anyway, review! :)