Brown eyed Girl 75: Oh yes she is moving on with Craig, it's so heartwarming. Five months without him, I don't know how she did it, but she did. I don't think I could have.

katydid13: Thank you, I'm sure you'll really like this one

rejazzz: You'll have this one even more! Thank you for reviewing

ooOoo

When we're together, why does something always start? Are we both better off, when we are apart? Some days you hate me, I can see it in your eyes. It seems like lately, you can't wait to criticize me. But it's alright, we don't have to fight this night. It's alright, we don't have to fight, tonight.

Love- Great Big Sea

ooOoo

October 20th, 1980

You didn't think that once I moved to New York with Craig, it'd be all sunshine and roses, did you? No, no, we had our fair share of problems. In fact, from the moment he'd started spending a lot of time at work and I'd be left alone, I grew increasingly hostile. You could call it hormones (I was nearing my ninth month by this point) Wait a minute, we found out I was pregnant in April, and I had to be at least ten weeks so the baby was big enough to see on the ultrasound. I moved with Craig to New York in June when I was five/six months, and it's October now, yeah, I only have a few more weeks to go. Anyway, I guess you could call it frustration, you could call it whatever you wanted, I was nearly barmy!

He came in the door, hung his coat up, and came into the kitchen. As soon as he was there, I drove the knife into the carrot I was cutting so furiously it left a dent in the cutting board.

"Easy there, Viv. Don't hurt yourself."

"You know what, fuck you!"

"What did I do this time?"

"You left your dirty socks and underwear on the floor this morning!" I slammed the knife down on the counter. "As if I didn't have enough to do today, you can't take two minutes out of your day to take your shit downstairs to the laundry basket?"

"Viv, I was running late this morning…"

"That's no excuse. I'll have you know I had to roll off the bed to pick them up thanks to your baby! I'm so fat I can't even bend down!"

"You're not fat…" he turned me around to look at me.

"Don't touch me!" I screeched.

"Viv, you're not fat. I don't see why you would think so…"

"What's this then?" I put my hands on my belly. "How could you say I'm not fat?"

"There's a big difference between fat and pregnant, my dear. And you are pregnant, not fat…"

I groaned in frustration. How could he always know the right thing to say when I just wanted to be mad and rage and scream at him? It was his sperm that got me into this mess!

"I don't even care anymore! I just want this over with, and let me tell you, I will not be doing this again!"

"I'm happy with just one, Viv."

"Do you have any idea how much having this thing inside your body hurts? I look ugly, I'm uncomfortable, I hate how I look! Next time you can be the one to carry the kid!"

"That's physically impossible, Viv."

"I don't care if it's physically impossible!" Suddenly I left something warm rush down my leg. "Oh, is there no dignity left? I think I just weed myself!"

He stopped dead in his tracks. "What?"

"Craig…."

"We're heading to the hospital, Viv, right now! This is dangerous!"

"Dangerous?"

"You aren't due for another two weeks, Viv. We can't have something happening to our baby!"

"Alright, relax," she took a deep breath. "I'll go get in the car, my bag is upstairs."

"You've already packed?"

"Last night in fact. I phoned my Mom, she advised me to pack an overnight bag. I was early, my brother was born early, it only makes sense that something like this would happen. It's nothing to worry about. Labour's only just starting. God, am I actually saying this? Never mind, just go upstairs and get it."

He did as I said, and five minutes later we were on the road.

It was all I could do to hold myself in the passenger seat. Craig was driving like a maniac, changing lanes again and again, and going well over the speed limit.

"For God's sake, slow down!" I shouted, "the contractions are about 10 minutes apart, we're fine!"

He turned his head quickly to look at her reclining. "What do you mean we're fine?"

"You got to do the fun part and now I do the work!" I shouted again. "Slow down, I'm not going to be having the baby in the ca… car! Almost said cat there…" I braced myself through the contraction just starting. "Okay… just breathe. That's all, just breathe…"

"Should I pull over?"

"No, because if you do I'll walk! Just shut up and drive normally, for God's sake!"

"Alright, alright…" he was shaking the rest of the trip there. I think I'd spooked him, but you'd think he'd know better than to not listen to me while I'm in labour. I'm a scary bitch when I'm in pain.

We arrived and were given a private room. Yes, I know, that's a stretch, but Craig insisted. He didn't care that it'd be more expensive (though how he could afford it I don't know), but I wasn't going to ask him.

Three hours later, my new doctor, Dr. Pullman, examined me, and told me I'd be having the baby in about an hour. The contractions were closer and closer, but I was still comfortable enough. In fact, I was kind of bored.

To alleviate the boredom, Craig and I started on a word search together. We'd gotten as far as the third row before the contractions got to be too much. No epidural, didn't want one. I know, I know, I'm nuts, but don't judge me! I don't like needles! And the thought of getting one in the back… nope, not happening.

Craig sat holding my hand, just waiting. And when the words "This is almost dull" escaped his mouth, I squeezed his fingers together.

"Dull?" I screamed. "Dull? Listen here, Bucko! You are never allowed to touch me again! You have no idea how much this hurts, so don't you tell me this is dull if…" I screamed as another contraction ripped through my lower abdomen. "I'm throwing you out of here!"

"Why?"

"You're annoying me!" I shouted. "Out!"

"Let go of my hand, then!"

I released him and out he went. God, I want this thing out of me! I am never going to do this again, no matter how much I'll love this little thing. No, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, we didn't want to know. For now, this baby is a thing! Not Pumpkin, not a shrimp, a thing! I'm in so much pain I don't care what comes out of my mouth!

When will this be over?!

Okay, that does it, I'm pushing the call button! I feel as though I'm going to be sick… I don't care if I puke, just tell me something… I want to know if I'll be having this baby now or the next Ice Age! Just check me, please! Can I push?

I repeated said questions to Dr. Pullman when he came in a few minutes later.

"Look at that, Viv. Ten centimetres, this baby will be here in an hour or so…"

I laid back against my pillow. Thank God! I just want this to be done.

"Do you want Craig in here?"

"No!" I answered, perhaps a little too quickly. "No! He can stay out there!"

"There's no one but the medical team in here then…"

"That's fine!" I told him. "I'd rather not lose what's left of my dignity."

"Whatever you want, Viv. I'm not one to argue with you…"

"I mean, you spend almost every day with women in labour. I don't care if you're looking down there, that's your job! My partner on the other hand, he's done enough damage…" Another contraction. Damn it, why hadn't I taken that fucking epidural!

Dr. Pullman examined me again, and I saw his eyes grow wide. "I lied, this baby's coming right now…"

"What?"

"Viv, the head is crowning now. That last contraction, that was the head crowning," Dr. Pullman explained. Good Lord, he was very calm about it. He sat down on a chair that one of the nurses pushed toward him.

"Next contraction, Viv, the nurses are going to hold your legs, and I want you to push, do you understand? Ten seconds…"

I nodded furiously.

Not even two minutes later, that contraction ripped through me. "Oh my God, why did I agree to this?" I screamed.

"Seven, eight, nine, ten! Relax…" Dr. Pullman told me. "He's coming quickly, Vivianne. Two more pushes should be enough. Next contraction, try again. Ten seconds again, okay?"

"Okay," I couldn't help shouting. Throughout that next contraction, I felt Dr. Pullman rotate the baby, and the shoulders were out. Thank God… almost done.

"Once more, and you're done!"

I obeyed, all the while screaming. I heard Dr. Pullman tell me to stop, and handed the baby off to the nearest nurse. She cleared the baby's mouth and throat, and then came a firm slap to the behind.

Soon, the baby was screaming and turning pink.

I laid back exhausted once I'd passed the placenta. Most disgusting thing I'd ever seen, I almost couldn't believe that had been growing inside of me and my baby had been living off of that. The nurse who'd taken the baby came back smiling a few minutes later, though I couldn't think of what had taken her so long.

"Congratulations, Mom, it's a boy," she whispered, giving me my son, all clean and wrapped up in a blanket and a little knit cap. God, he looked like a little angel.

I cradled him close to my chest. "Hi there, baby. I'm your mommy. Do you know me? I know you..."

I was moved to the recovery rooms cradling him in my arms. Soon, though, I knew he'd been going to the nursery, so I could recover, and Craig would be able to sit with me. He wasn't going to see the baby yet, though. I wasn't going to name him till Craig had seen him.

We did see him a few hours later, squirming and yawning. Yeah, buddy, I know, you're sleepy, I'm sleepy too. Looking at him, Craig's eyes were filling with tears.

"He's beautiful…" he whispered as I placed a hand on his back. "Viv, he's so beautiful…"

"I know…" I handed him a tissue. "As beautiful as he is, he needs a name. We can't take him home as Baby Boy Patrick…"

He looked at me and smiled. "What about the name Ryan?"

I nodded. "Bryce?"

"Ryan Bryce Patrick?" he repeated. Something in his eyes said yes.

"Welcome home, Ryan…" I whispered to him through the glass.