Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, go figure.
Posted: 1/3/09
Chapter Title: Who Are You? by The Who
The Hokage must believe that you are Hanzou's apprentice. Draw Sarutobi's scrutiny, but not his ire. The more you distance yourself from Orochimaru and his schemes, the more successful you will be.
I trust you to handle this task… delicately.
The sun had just retreated below the horizon in the Village Hidden in the Leaves, yet the sky was still alight with the brilliant pastel pinks and oranges left behind from the star's passage. The Third Hokage of Konohagakure took in the beautiful colors as he paced slowly through the large grove of trees that sat atop the Hokage Monument, trying to still the anticipation and slight trepidation that plagued his aging heart.
After an hour-long conversation with the best and brightest young genin in his village, Sarutobi had requested that his ANBU track the Ame ninja known as Yellow. Now, not twenty-four hours later, his men had informed him that the mysterious ninja had settled on top of the stone monument to watch the sunset.
He had left his guards behind despite their respectful requests to accompany him. They had detected at least a dozen shadow clones keeping watch from within the trees and were simply expressing their concerns for his safety – as loyal subordinates were wont to do. Sarutobi Hiruzen was the Hokage, though, and was quite capable of handling this matter himself.
To be truthful, he didn't want anyone else around to see this.
The old man could hear the light patter of feet in the trees above. His well-trained ears counted eight sets of footfalls just beyond his sight in the dark treetops – following – watching as he slowly moved forward to the top of the monument. There were almost certainly more keeping a close eye on the ANBU squad that he had left at the tree line.
For the most part, he ignored them. If the boy had been sent here to assassinate him, then there were about a dozen better ways to go about it that he could think of. Expecting the Hokage to approach him alone at sunset was a bit convoluted as far as plans go, after all.
As he cleared the trees where they abruptly ended not thirty feet from the monument cliff, he felt the breath catch in his throat and his slow shuffle jerk to a halt. Before him were three figures – one seated on the hard stone at the very edge of the cliff and the other two standing behind him on either side. They were looking back towards the forest that the old Hokage had just emerged from – acting as silent sentinels.
Sarutobi stared at the seated figure for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. He had feared that he would never see that unique shade of golden hair within Konoha's walls ever again.
The clone on the seated figure's right disappeared in a puff of smoke, but neither the seated figure nor the one standing with its piercing blue eyes glued to Sarutobi's own moved an inch – aside from a long, wild mane of golden hair blowing gently in the evening breeze.
The old man had dreaded this day as much as he looked forward to it. What would he say to the boy who he was entrusted to protect by one of his dearest friends? What could he say to the boy he'd failed?
He let out his breath slowly and began pacing forward once again.
As the Hokage moved closer, he could make out the large re-breather, faceplate, and long bandanna that Yellow had worn the day before sitting in a pile next to him. He thought it strange that the boy needed such privacy to take them off, but the members of Kurenai's team had warned him that the Ame ninja looked a bit unusual.
That had worried Sarutobi, but he had come here to get answers and hopefully the mystery of Naruto's appearance would be one of them.
As he approached, the clone gave Sarutobi a nod and paced away along the cliff's edge to stand a good thirty feet from the two. The Hokage knew that it didn't matter a bit if one of the boy's own shadow clones listened in on the conversation, but subconsciously appreciated the semblance of privacy it gave.
Naruto gave no reaction as the Hokage stopped next to him.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
The blond continued looking out over the village of his youth – his face obscured from the Hokage's position by his wild mop of hair. "It's still your village, old man."
Sarutobi let a small smile stretch across his weathered face as he carefully sat on the cool stone next to the boy. He followed Naruto's lead and looked out over the village that had been his home for nearly seventy years. The Hokage rarely found time to come up to the monument any longer. Like so many others, it had become so commonplace a site that it rarely crossed his mind any longer. Only rarely did the nostalgia of his comrades' faces overcome him and inspire him to take in the monolithic visages from the roof of the Hokage Tower.
He liked this.
They sat there silently for minutes that stretched on and on. It wasn't until the bright colors of the sunset had nearly bled away completely that the old man broke the silence.
"When I was very young, my master, Senju Hashirama, used his bloodline limit to subdue and capture most of the tailed beasts. Even then – at the very birth of the modern shinobi world – he knew that the power that the bijuu possessed would be fought over for generations. All of the villages were young then, and instability and war were constant facts of life. Konoha was the largest and strongest of the new villages by a wide margin and was led by the strongest member of the strongest clan in the world. The First Hokage's bloodline limit and collection of the bijuu only further elevated his status and the village's as a whole. He feared that the other villages would band together to strike at Konoha if the village's power continued to grow, so he made a decision that I believe he came to view as the greatest mistake of his life. He gave the bijuu he'd captured to the other nations in an effort to ease their fears that Konoha was hording the demons' power to use in the wars."
Sarutobi turned to look at Naruto, but the boy was still staring towards the last vestiges of sunlight in the west. The old Hokage had never known Naruto to be capable of such stillness as a child, but he supposed that he really didn't know the boy at all any longer.
"I'd never seen Master as furious as he was when he learned that Suna had sealed the Ichibi into a child. Not even Uchiha Madara's betrayal caused him as much grief as that news did." Sarutobi thought he'd seen the boy tense slightly at the mention of the Uchiha, but shrugged it off. Perhaps Hanzou had told the boy of the infamous villain. "It wasn't the first jinchuuriki of course, but it shook him nonetheless. I honestly don't believe he'd even entertained the notion of using the tailed beasts in such a disgusting way, but sooner or later nearly all of the demons were trapped within human hosts. It was his greatest failing as a leader, and as a man. He could never condone such a fate for an innocent child, and until he died it ate him up inside. No Hokage has ever wanted that fate for one of his own."
Naruto shifted a bit at that. "I don't blame the Fourth for what he did. I'm proud of him, actually. I'm proud to have helped save this place, even if most of the people here didn't respect that."
The Hokage nodded slowly, pleased at the response. "And I'm proud that you feel that way, Naruto. He would have been proud of you too." The old man paused for a moment, drawing up the fortitude needed to say what needed to be said. "I'm sorry, Naruto. I'm so sorry for not looking after you better. I wanted you to have a chance at a normal life –free from the expectations and prejudices that people would hold towards you. I was foolish – so foolish. You suffered because of me and I am so sorry."
Sarutobi fought back the tears in his eyes as he awaited Naruto's response. He wouldn't be surprised if the boy left, or didn't respond, or even attacked him. One thing he didn't expect was what the boy said next.
"It's alright, old man. In a way, I'm happy that I was taken away from here. Now I'm strong. I learned a lot. I didn't have to deal with the prejudices of these villagers. My life hasn't been easy, but I think I've become better for everything I've been through. If I'd stayed here I don't know what would have happened to me, but I can bet I wouldn't be half the ninja I am now – for better or for worse."
The Hokage was relieved that Naruto had forgiven him, but his words had brought the real issue they faced to the forefront. "How strong are you now, Naruto?"
The boy chuckled a bit, but still didn't face him. "There are a couple of ninja in this village that I couldn't beat. Probably. But I can make so many clones that it'd be almost impossible to defeat me unless you caught a lucky break, even for a legendary ninja like you, old man."
"How many?"
"A few thousand. They're pretty useless for fighting at that point, but they're great distractions."
The Hokage's eyebrows rose spectacularly at that. The boy was practically an army in and of himself. That could be a serious problem, depending on the boy's intentions.
"Naruto, why are you and your team here? Why is Ame participating in the Chuunin Exams again, and why now? Why do you wear Hanzou's uniform – the one only his personal guard wears?"
Naruto nodded at the questions. "I sent my team back to Ame. I don't need them around here any longer."
"You're staying by yourself?"
The boy nodded. "My master thought that Ame needed to be seen again after so long. The other nations tend to forget that Rain is a legitimate force to be reckoned with, and in his mind that just won't do. It's the reason why I was sent to participate in this Chuunin Exam, when I really should be a jounin by now."
"Your master?"
"Do you need me to say it? It's the same man whose subordinate kidnapped me."
Sarutobi sighed. "You've been in Ame all this time?"
"Aside from a few missions outside of the country, yes."
The Hokage nodded in thought. "I was under the impression that Hanzou had locked his borders for a reason. What of this supposed civil war?"
"It's over, for the most part. Master is in complete control of the country with only a few clusters of rebel ninja remaining. He wants to keep the borders closed, though, so that they can't go for assistance from outside sources. Not now when he's so close to complete victory."
"Why are you here, specifically? To show off your power, or for a different reason?"
Naruto thought for a moment before answering. "I know about Orochimaru's plans for the tournament, if that's what you're worried about. My master likes to keep close tabs on all of his former acquaintances. He ordered me not to intervene on either side in the coming invasion."
The Hokage nodded. That answer alleviated a number of his worries, assuming… "How do I know you're being truthful?"
For the first time since the start of their conversation Naruto turned to face Sarutobi, eliciting a gasp from the old man. He had been warned that the blond had a unique look about him, but the long, thick whisker scars, slit and accentuated eyes, and sharp, deadly fangs painted a picture of a dangerous animal more than a thirteen-year-old boy. The seal that Minato had gone over with Jiraiya and him was not supposed to cause any effect like this.
"I need help."
Sarutobi could only stare on in concern at the boy he had once loved like a grandson.
"My master removed the blocks from my seal when I was six, causing Kyuubi's chakra to mix with my own much earlier than it should have. It's the reason I look like this now. The problem, though, is that the seal has been growing weaker over time. I know that the seal is supposed to do something more than what it already is, but I don't have the knowledge to complete it or even repair the deterioration that's already been caused. I was hoping someone here could help me."
The Hokage nodded in understanding, but faced a new dilemma. He couldn't aid Naruto just to send him back to Ame. "Jiraiya might be able to help you. He did assist Minato is creating the seal, after all. But Naruto…"
He was cut off by the boy's quiet interjection. "I'll do anything you want, old man. I… I'm not going back there regardless. I don't think I could live like that any longer."
Sarutobi frowned. "What do you mean, Naruto?"
The blond looked at him meaningfully. "Lord Hanzou never really liked me… never cared for me. To him, I was just an interesting specimen. These past few years I've been running around killing people who oppose my master. I'm just a glorified assassin – a tool to his ambition. It's not the life I want. I'll do my duty here in the exam, but that's it. I won't be going back. Maybe he'll just let me go. He doesn't have much time to spare on me any longer, anyways. Maybe he won't care."
"What are you saying, Naruto? You want to become a Konoha ninja?"
The boy shook his head, causing his wild hair to sway back and forth behind him. "I don't think there'd be a point in that. If they didn't hate me for the Kyuubi they'd certainly hate me for being a former Ame ninja. Do you really think they'd ever trust me? I'd end up a genin with a squad of ANBU breathing down my neck for the rest of my life. But I heard that Jiraiya took apprentices, and maybe if not him, then someone else would take me on. I can help without being an official ninja here, can't I?"
Sarutobi sighed. This was good news, but would no doubt cause him a headache down the road. Naruto made good points concerning what he could expect if he joined the village. Most people looked down on defecting ninja, and adding that to the Kyuubi stigma the boy already carried would only further harm his standing in the village. He wanted to help Naruto, but really this was out of his hands. He'd need to convince Jiraiya himself.
"I can take care of Gaara for you, if you still don't trust me."
The Hokage refocused on Naruto at that. "In what way?"
Naruto looked back out over the village – now a sea of yellow lights below them. "I've fought him before. When Orochimaru makes his move, I can neutralize him."
Sarutobi quirked an eyebrow at that. "When was this?"
"I was only eight, but my master thought it might be worthwhile to make overtures with some of the other jinchuuriki my age. I made contact with Gaara in Suna and Nii Yugito in Kumo, but…"
"Killer Bee drove you off and Gaara wasn't particularly forthcoming?"
For the first time since arriving in Konoha, Naruto was taken by surprise. His face must have shown it too, because the old Hokage just smiled and continued on.
"Jiraiya's spy network is particularly good. We heard that a young man who gave his name as Naruto fought the Raikage's brother some years ago in Kumo. As far as Gaara is concerned, we have a number of reports that the boy is unstable and dangerous. It was a difficult decision to let him participate in these exams, especially knowing that Orochimaru was planning something." The old man's face tightened briefly. "You believe that Gaara is aligned with Orochimaru?"
Naruto shook his head. "I can't say anything definitively, but even without Orochimaru's meddling there's a fair chance that Gaara might unleash the Ichibi in the village."
"You are sure that you can deal with Gaara's full strength?"
The boy nodded. "I do have a few tricks up my sleeves, after all."
Sarutobi looked at Naruto thoughtfully, then nodded. "Why does that not surprise me?" His eyes looked over the blond's form slowly, taking in every detail, before speaking again. "Very well. You'll have to seek out Jiraiya on your own if you're to convince him to take you on. He's been tracking Orochimaru recently, so there's a distinct chance he'll be in town soon. I'd suggest looking for him at the hot springs."
Naruto looked puzzled at that remark, but shrugged it off a moment later. He leaned back until he was laying on the hard rock before cocking his head and looking at Sarutobi. "Now tell me about my father, old man."
Naruto finished his exercise routine the next morning and began walking leisurely back through town towards the hot springs. He had originally thought that the old man's suggestion was a bit strange, but figured that it was the only kernel of information he had that could point him in the direction of the elusive Sannin. The only problem was that he couldn't very well go into the hot springs looking like he did without drawing a good deal of unwanted attention. At best he could poke his head in and look around a bit before moving on or staking out the place for the next month in the hopes of stumbling across the fabled Toad Sage.
He was not looking forward to it at any rate.
"This is easy sensei. What else do we have to work on?"
The familiar voice drew Naruto's attention to the small canal running alongside the street just outside of the springs where a pink-haired kunoichi stood atop the blistering water looking expectantly at an older Konoha ninja wearing dark sunglasses and a navy blue bandanna that matched his shirt and pants. He stopped for a moment in mild interest as their training session went on. Apparently Sakura had been stuck with a tutor while Kakashi was off doing something or other with one or both of the two students who'd made it to the finals of the Exam.
The one-on-one training probably wasn't a bad deal for the girl.
"Your chakra control is high, but your stamina is pitifully weak. Therefore, you're going to be running up and down this canal until you've exhausted your stamina. Your chakra is like a muscle and must be trained as such, Sakura. This training is about endurance."
She looked a bit put out at the man's assertion, but dutifully began jogging along the water's surface. Naruto shrugged and took off to run alongside her, staying on the concrete path that ran along the canal.
"Hey there, Sakura!"
The girl looked up – eyes widening slightly as she took in his covered face – before turning her attention back to the water in front of her. "Hello, Yellow. Can I help you?"
"Not so much, unless you've seen a large middle-aged gentleman with white hair lurking around here." Seeing her shake her head, he continued. "So where's the rest of your team?"
"I'm not sure where Sai is, but Sasuke is training with Kakashi-sensei." Starting, she pulled up short and covered her mouth with her hands, a look of horror in her eyes.
Naruto waved her off. "Relax, I wasn't going to spy on them or anything. Just curious as to what they might be learning."
The girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she continued her jog, this time going back towards her instructor. "That's exactly why I shouldn't have told you what I did."
"Eh, I'm not too worried about those two. I have to get through the Hyuuga first. Sai has who, the puppeteer, right? And Sasuke gets Gaara. I think we all have other things on our minds for now."
Sakura gave him an odd look out of the corner of her eye. "You didn't seem too worried about Neji the other day, even after what he did to poor Hinata. I heard she's going to be in the hospital for the next two weeks."
Naruto just waved her off. "I'll manage."
"Excuse me!"
The blond's attention was brought to the blue clad man standing before them on a bridge overlooking the canal. "Can I help you?"
The man frowned and looked down at Naruto with a superior expression. "I would appreciate it if you didn't attempt to sabotage my student's training. And Sakura, you should know better than to collaborate with foreign ninja. Who knows what he's plotting."
Naruto frowned at the self-important man for a moment, but shrugged and continued walking towards bathhouses only a block away while speaking quietly to himself. "Who knows?" Turning around, he spared Sakura a wave over his shoulder. "Good luck with your training."
She gave him a small wave back, clearly chastised by her instructor but unwilling to ignore him nonetheless.
It didn't really matter, so long as she didn't think too poorly of him. The more the Konoha genin warmed up to him, the more their sensei and the Hokage would welcome him here. He needed their good graces. That was a certainty.
Naruto reached the entrance to the bathhouses without incident, but found himself at an impasse as to what to do next. The Hokage had told him to search for Jiraiya here, but simply waiting for the man to show up didn't seem all too great of a plan to the blond. He wasn't even sure if the Sannin would show himself until the end of the month when the exam was set to occur.
He was reluctant to use shadow clones to search, seeing as having so many copies of himself running around town could easily be seen as a security risk by the resident ANBU. He could create a small number of them and transform them to look like civilians, but if one of those was caught he could expect to have the whole city up in arms at the apparent infiltration attempt. He didn't want to repay the Hokage's easy acceptance of him by ruffling feathers on his first full day in town.
Naruto decided to start with the obvious choice – go into the bathhouse himself and take a look around. Five minutes later he emerged, sweating uncontrollably through his confining outfit and no small bit perturbed. There was a reason why most people took off their clothes when entering the springs. Even though he had only paced around the edge of the warm pool within, the hot fumes had done their damage.
Now he needed to cool off.
He started walking around the bathhouse to air out his uniform a bit, when not halfway around he stumbled upon the very man he was looking for. It was almost surreal. He could even see Sakura running up and down the canal from here. Had the man been there the whole time?
Now he simply had to figure out the best way to approach the legendary ninja – who seemed to have his left eye pressed up against the wooden barrier that enclosed the hot springs. That was interesting.
He approached the man cautiously, a bit confused as to what the renowned spymaster was up to. It wasn't until Naruto was ten feet away that he realized the man was peering through a tiny knothole in the wooden partition.
What was he looking at?
Naruto carefully climbed the wall to peer over, curious as to what the man could be gleaning from his not-so-covert surveillance. The boy was still small enough not to upset the fairly flimsy wooden wall with his weight. A moment later, he found himself staring into the women's side of the bathhouse and ogling nearly a dozen naked females. It certainly wasn't what he had been expecting, and he was turning to tell the older man so when something stopped him.
Or rather, he stopped himself. The view wasn't that bad from here, after all. Sure he'd seen naked women in his time during his own surveillance and assassination missions – even killing one as she stepped out of the shower – but those were months or years ago. And they were missions. Naruto in his current state was battling hormones and the fact that he just didn't have a good reason to look away.
On the other hand, there were quite a number of busty, bouncy, curvy, and smooth reasons to keep looking. And looking.
"Can I help you, kid?" Naruto's head whipped around when he heard the older man address him from not ten feet away – his eye still stuck to the knothole in the wall.
"Would it upset you if I pulled you away from this for an important discussion?"
The man still didn't look at him, now jotting down notes on a small pad of paper as he crouched. "Yes."
Naruto turned back to the lurid sight before him, making sure to keep a low profile over the wall. There were probably some kunoichi in there, after all, if the toned bodies were anything to judge by. "Better give it fifteen minutes then."
Jiraiya simply grunted in response and went back to staring through his peephole.
Sadly, it wasn't three minutes later that a decidedly unwelcome scream interrupted their recreation. It sounded something like Sakura.
Naruto turned around only to find the girl floundering in the steamy canal and her instructor rushing towards Jiraiya. "I don't know who you are, but I will not forgive such shameless behavior!"
The white haired man spun around looking nothing short of annoyed and performed a quick series of seals that Naruto was all too familiar with. A moment later, Jiraiya sat atop an orange and blue toad the size of a four-door sedan. With a flick of its massive tongue, the shades-sporting instructor was unconscious on the cobblestone walkway and a sputtering Sakura was dragging herself out of the blistering water.
"Ready to have that talk now?"
Jiraiya gave him an appraising look before turning away. "Follow me."
Jiraiya had led him to the river just outside of town where Naruto had been doing his swimming every morning. It was just as good a place as any in his mind.
"So? What did you want, brat?"
"To speak to you, of course. I need your help."
Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow at Naruto's statement. "And what makes you think I want anything to do with you, boy? I have other things to busy myself with, I'll have you know."
Naruto cocked his head to the side. This wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting. "I heard you were a compassionate and selfless man who was willing to go out of his way to help those in need. The great Toad Sage… Jiraiya of the Sannin."
The older man snorted. "Sure, that sounds like me, kid. About thirty years ago. Just who have you been talking to?"
Naruto blinked. Then he looked down at the uniform he was wearing and back to the Sannin.
Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "Spit it out, brat. Are you telling me you heard that from Hanzou?"
"No, but others said…"
"Listen. I don't care what anyone else told you. I don't have any reason to help a Rain ninja, even if you are in good with the old Salamander." The man's voice trailed off for a moment. "Especially if you are." Looking back down at Naruto, he continued. "You'll have to come up with something better, brat. Much better." With that, he started to walk away.
This definitely wasn't going how he'd expected it to. Time for the bombshell, then. "I thought you'd be a bit more enthusiastic, considering I have it on good authority that you've been asking around for me for the better part of a decade."
That stopped the man in his tracks. Slowly, he spun on his heel to face Naruto, curiosity written across his face.
Naruto reached up and unhooked the re-breather from his mouth while at the same time pulling the faceplate and dark bandanna off of his head. He unceremoniously dropped them to the gravelly riverbank and met the older man's startled gaze.
Jiraiya closed his eyes for a good ten seconds and let out a deep breath before gesturing him over. "Naruto. Let me take a look at you." The man took in his every feature as the wild blond moved closer to him, his visage saddened at the sight of the boy. "What did that bastard do?"
Naruto chuckled lightly. "We got a bit impatient, I guess." At the man's gesture, Naruto undid the flak jacket he wore and peeled up the thin shirt underneath so that his stomach was visible. Without any prompting from Jiraiya, he pumped his chakra through the seal until it was easily distinguishable. He was a bit startled when Jiraiya bent over and started poking and prodding him without warning, but quickly got over the awkwardness of it.
After two minutes Jiraiya stood back up. "The seal seems to be functioning normally, though it's weakening faster than expected due to someone removing the blocks around it prematurely. I assume you've contacted the Kyuubi?"
Naruto nodded. "A right foul bastard, that one."
"Can you access his power?"
The blond responded with a frown. "I can call upon his chakra, but it slowly burns me even if only a bit is in use. It's the most corrosive thing I've ever come into contact with. I can maintain a one-tailed state without too much effort, but once I start drawing on more power than that I can't control it and it starts to overcome me until it stops at three tails. At that point my mind is cloudy and I'm overcome by rage. It's hard to hold back from attacking everything in sight."
"And at four tails?"
"I've never gotten that far. Frankly I don't want to know what would happen. The damage with only three tails active is great enough as it is, and my mind is nearly gone. That's no way to fight a battle, I've found."
Jiraiya nodded. "So what is it you want from me? To repair the seal?"
Naruto shook his head. "I want to become your apprentice."
The white haired man looked a bit shocked at that. "My apprentice? You are a Rain ninja, aren't you?"
"Not after the end of the month. I don't plan to return there anytime soon."
Jiraiya's eyes narrowed. "You wish to defect to Konoha? That's a very dangerous prospect, especially for one so young. And besides, how do you think you'll be received here, honestly?"
"I don't mean to join Konoha. I doubt they'd ever accept me. I want to go with you, like my father did. I want to learn more about being a ninja. I… I don't want to be just another tool any longer. Please, Jiraiya. I don't have anyone else to go to outside of Ame."
Jiraiya stared at Naruto silently for a time, before opening his mouth to speak. He closed it again in thought before continuing to appraise the young ninja before him.
"I'll need to speak with Sarutobi."
"I talked to him last night. He should…" Naruto stopped as Jiraiya raised a hand to cut him off.
"I will think about this. Meet me at the hot springs tomorrow at nine in the morning. Be on time. Until then, stay out of trouble, Naruto."
Naruto nodded and left. He could only hope for the best.
Jiraiya towered over Naruto as he sat on a large stone awaiting the man's verdict. If he were to be honest with himself, he'd have to say he was fairly nervous. Once again, he had doffed his headgear in the older ninja's presence to make conversation easier.
"Alright, I spoke with the old geezer and have come to a decision." He ignored Naruto's enthusiastic nod and began pacing before the young ninja. "I'll be honest with you, Naruto. I don't trust you." Jiraiya gave him a stern look that softened after a moment. "Having said that, I can't just leave you out in the cold. I have a responsibility as your godfather to protect you and teach you what I can."
Naruto hadn't known that Jiraiya had such a relationship with him. His shock must have been visible because the older man chuckled.
"You didn't think I was looking for you all that time to satisfy my own curiosity, now did you? I was worried about you. Hell, I was worried about leaving you in the village to begin with, but there's not a hell of a lot I could do with a young kid in tow. I have duties to Konoha as well, you know?"
Naruto gave a slight nod in response. This was a little much to take in all at once.
"Thankfully, it seems you pulled through mostly intact, and I've heard your skills are fairly impressive for someone your age. I'm going to spend the next month training you in one of your father's old techniques, and if I think you're being sincere in your wish to join on as an ally of Konoha, we'll go on from there. That's the best I can do for you."
Naruto grinned. He didn't plan to disappoint the man. "Thanks, Jiraiya."
The white haired man huffed. "That's Master Jiraiya to you, brat."
The blond rolled his eyes. "How about I just call you dirty old man?"
Jiraiya frowned. "With that kind of attitude, you'll be lucky if I ever let you sign my amazing toad contract." He paused for a moment in thought. "You don't have a problem with amphibians, do you?"
"No, they're great actually, but I find that they don't get along too well, if you know what I mean."
The Toad Sage apparently didn't know what he meant.
"I have the salamander contract. Cool, huh?"
Naruto almost laughed as the older man's eyes bugged out of his head in shock.
"You can summon Ajisuke?" At Naruto's smile and nod, he continued. "Do it now. I want to see that rotten bastard."
"He's not that bad, you know. And I really don't think that's a good idea. First, we're practically in Konoha right now. Second, he mentioned he wanted me to get you to summon the toad boss so that he could pay him back for some past squabble or something."
Jiraiya rested his chin on his palm in thought. "Good points. And I almost forgot that Bunta and your dad licked old Hanzou back in the Third War. Bet that still pisses the arrogant bastard off."
"Hey, what happened back then, exactly? No one wanted to tell me about it. Ajisuke told me never to ask him."
The white haired man gave a short laugh, but quickly quieted himself. "Well, it wasn't that funny, actually. Your dad was leading a group of injured soldiers back towards our lines from within Earth Country, but couldn't get around hostile forces without getting routed. He was the only one worth anything in a fight by that point, but had something like two dozen wounded with him. So he decided to cut into Rain Country as a detour around the Iwa lines.
"Trouble was, that was the first time that Hanzou had locked the borders of Ame. He didn't want anything to do with the Third War, and threatened to kill any ninja found breaking into his territory for any reason. As luck would have it, the old Salamander was running patrols himself and stumbled on Minato's group as they tried to duck through to River Country to the south. Hanzou picked a fight, but couldn't work around Minato's space/time ninjutsu. Eventually, Ajisuke talked him into pulling back before Minato got close enough to slit the old man's throat. At least that's the way Minato told it. Gamabunta still laughs about it from time to time."
"Huh." It was somewhat interesting, if not particularly spectacular. Shaking his head, Naruto got back to the matter at hand. "So this jutsu you're going to teach me?"
Jiraiya nodded before sticking his hand forward, palm up. "It's called the Rasengan, and it's one of Minato's original jutsu." Naruto watched closely as chakra gathered in the tall man's palm in a perfect sphere spinning every which way.
"Looks like pure shape manipulation to me."
The older man nodded. "Good eye. This is the most advanced shape manipulation ninjutsu ever created, and holds the difficulty ranking of A. You have any experience with shape manipulation?"
Naruto gave a small nod, his eyes still glued to the spinning ball. "Basic stuff, like for the Blade of Wind. Just concentrating chakra around my hand, really."
Jiraiya cut the jutsu off and allowed the ball to dissipate in the air. "That's better than nothing, and having a bit of elemental manipulation will help you down the line. You're wind natured, then?" Receiving another nod in response, Jiraiya reached into his pocket.
Naruto frowned when his hand reappeared with a rubber ball clasped in it. A water balloon, more specifically. "You're serious?"
The tall man huffed in indignation. "Listen up, runt. Your father took three years to create this ninjutsu. Then he came up with this training method and taught me how to do it in a month and a half. If you want to figure this all out on your own, be my guest. Otherwise, remember that you asked me for help."
The smaller ninja sighed. "Alright, what am I doing with this?"
"It's simple." Jiraiya grasped the ball in front of him in the same position as he had used when showing off the Rasengan. "Pop the balloon."
Naruto watched as the water within pressed awkwardly against the inside of the rubber membrane, causing it to bulge in every direction until the turbulence within was too great for it to withstand. With that, the older man produced another water balloon, tossed it to Naruto, and turned to leave.
"Where are you going?"
Jiraiya spun around and stared at Naruto incredulously. "What, you thought I was gonna hold your hand the whole time? I seriously doubt Hanzou taught you like that." He pointedly ignored the scowl Naruto gave him. "I'm going back to continue the research that you so rudely interrupted yesterday."
The blond furrowed his brows. "Peeping? You call that research?"
"Damn right I do. It's for the books I write." At that, the older man produced a gaudy colored book from a pocket and tossed it to a confused Naruto. "Now don't let me catch you slacking on your training because I gave that to you."
Naruto continued to stare at the book in bewilderment, not sure what to make of it. "So you're just going to leave?"
"No naked girls here to look at here, so yeah."
The blond blinked. "Would it make you feel better if I transformed into a naked girl for you?"
To his utter shock and horror, the older man seemed to think about. Seriously. "Yes."
Naruto could only stare as the older man watched him expectantly. "I was kidding."
"I wasn't." Jiraiya gave the younger ninja a few moments to change his mind, but eventually turned around and continued walking. "Come find me when you manage to pop that balloon. With raw chakra only. No slicey-slicey, if you get what I mean."
Naruto could only grumble to himself as the legendary sage left. Pain and Konan had said that Jiraiya was a good teacher, so what the hell was this?
By the next day, Naruto had spun the water in the balloon in every conceivable direction to the point that it actually broke – which in some instances was damn hard. It hadn't taken him more than half an hour after Jiraiya left to come to the conclusion that spinning all of the water in one direction wasn't what Jiraiya had done, but that didn't stop him from trying. He'd even picked up a few dozen more balloons at a nearby market and put a handful of shadow clones to work playing with the spin in different ways. He felt a bit silly for scoffing at the water balloon right away when it was, in fact, the greatest tool to measure the effect of shape manipulation that he'd ever seen or heard of.
This was the perfect jutsu for Naruto. Though he knew a number of techniques that relied on seals to work, he loved the idea of learning such a powerful seal-less jutsu. He was always cognizant of others stealing his techniques – whether with a bloodline or without – and a jutsu like this that relied on the bodies own "chakra memory" and manipulation ability seemed perfect. Then again, his father had probably been cognizant of the problem of others stealing his signature jutsu when he first created it, being that he lived in a village full of Uchiha.
The day he'd spent playing with the water balloon had taught him a number of things. First, spinning in one direction at full power caused the balloon to flatten out and a wide disk of energy to form. It was something he'd keep in mind for later. Second, he learned that for whatever reason, he found it much easier to spin his chakra clockwise than he did counter-clockwise. Finally, the easiest way to pop the balloon was to spin his chakra in as many ways as possible, which was the entire point of the exercise.
When he finally turned up to show Jiraiya that he could pop the balloon with chakra alone a day later, the man simply handed him a thick rubber ball and told him to burst it. It was a bit infuriating, but he had already begun to see the method to the perverted sage's madness.
Naruto's project for the next month became gaining proficiency with shape manipulation, and he took it seriously.
When he wasn't reading Jiraiya's absurd book, of course.
Maybe the man wasn't as useless as he'd first seemed after all?
Two weeks later, Naruto realized he had a serious problem.
And the worst part was that it had nothing to do with being a ninja whatsoever.
The awful truth was that Jiraiya had somehow corrupted his mind to such a degree that he could hardly think of a member of the fairer sex without mentally undressing her – at the very least. He had tried putting down the book that Jiraiya had given him – which was nothing other than well-written smut – only to find that the damage had been done. He was irrevocably tainted.
So he went right back to reading "the book." Eventually "the book" turned into "the books" as soon as he told Jiraiya he'd finished reading the first – and that it had ruined him.
Some mornings he'd wake up early and, after his exercise routine, would sneak down to the bathhouses and stare over the wooden partition right alongside his new master before leaving to begin his daily training in earnest. Naruto had even begun putting up a simple D-ranked wind jutsu that blurred his outline by creating a mirage effect around him in order to avoid detection.
It had taken a few days of this before he'd gotten used to the perverted giggles Jiraiya gave off, but every once in a while he was sure the man let out a chuckle, and he wasn't sure it was directed at the girls.
The man had told Naruto to thank him.
It would have made the boy furious had it not been for the fact that he was legitimately enjoying himself and irrevocably addicted.
That wasn't to say that Naruto wasn't without his shame. Unlike Jiraiya, he went out of his way not to get caught and constantly berated himself for becoming a slave to his hormones. No one had ever accused Namikaze Naruto – the demon assassin of Ame and warden of the greatest of the infamous tailed beasts – of being a saint, but this was just ridiculous. Even for him.
No one had ever warned him he'd need psychological conditioning to deal with something as absurd as this. He cursed Pain. He cursed Konan. He cursed Jiraiya and his depraved books. He cursed himself and puberty. Looking at Jiraiya, though, made him think he might never grow out of this.
That was worrisome.
He'd even caught himself staring at Sakura as she continued her stamina training on the canal day after day. The girl was cute in her own way, even though she wasn't as developed as the other women his eyes latched on to. She was just so damn innocent, though. He felt like he was violating something pure every time he looked at her.
But he did it anyway.
The only remedy that he could find was in isolating himself at the river and working himself to exhaustion with his shape manipulation training. Sometimes he was distracted even there by the older civilian girls that came to swim in the pools along the river's bank.
So he'd take an hour break and enjoy their company from the bushes. At this point, he could only hope to avoid becoming another Hatake Kakashi. He'd spotted the man reading Jiraiya's books in broad daylight a number of times.
If it got that bad, he could always go ask Madara to kill him. God knows the man would do it with a smile on his face behind that shitty mask.
Honestly, who wears orange?
The month passed quickly, and between training and staring at the local female citizenry, Naruto decided that it had been fairly relaxing. Almost like a vacation. Three days before the final round of battles, he found himself eating lunch at none other than the famous Ichiraku Ramen stand. Not only did he love the fare and the company, but Ayame was the only woman under the age of forty that Naruto could look at without some level of lust – probably because she's the only female he could remember from his early childhood in the village.
"What'll it be, sir?"
Naruto didn't even glance at the menu as he ordered. "Two bowls of miso, thanks."
The chef nodded and turned around to start on the order without another word. Naruto was still a foreign ninja and was therefore treated with a small amount of suspicion, despite the courtesy that the chef showed all of his customers.
While waiting for the meal to arrive Naruto was pulled out of his thoughts as voices cut through the hanging cloth that separated the ramen bar from the busy roadway outside.
"You sure this is where you want to eat, Chouji?"
"Of course, Asuma-sensei! The ramen here is great."
Naruto tuned out the conversation as four figures entered the bar and took up places on the stools beside him. He spared an extra glance on the platinum haired girl in purple garments and white bandages wrapped around her legs. Did she wear anything under those?
"Oh, it's you." Naruto turned slightly to look at the dark haired boy before him – Shikamaru. The bored looking ninja took a seat next to Naruto – between the Ame ninja and the rest of his team.
Naruto nodded. "It's me."
"Why didn't you tell him?"
The blond boy could only stare at him in confusion. "Who and what are we talking about?"
Shikamaru frowned, but continued on. "Your teammate. Why didn't you tell him about my ability?"
Oh. He'd almost forgotten about that. "That wouldn't have been particularly fair, now would it?"
The other boy was still frowning. "He was your teammate and you still didn't help him. He would have beaten me if you'd said something."
"You sound angry about it. I thought you'd be thanking me."
"It's not right to betray your comrades like that."
Naruto let out a laugh at that. "Betray? Listen, I only met that guy a day before we showed up for the exam. An exam, by the way, that doesn't mean a damn thing in the grand scheme of things no matter what the jokers around here might tell you." He had the attention of Shikamaru's whole team by now – all of which were frowning at him. "I knew him just as well as I knew you. What point would there have been in propping him up to win that round if he would have just been beaten in the finals – in front of everyone no less?"
"You don't know that he would have lost there. You don't know that I'll win."
Naruto nodded. "You're right, but at least this way the better man advances and not the one with better teammates. You heard the rules – it was every man for himself from then on out."
The jounin sensei took his cigarette out of his mouth, eyes focused on Naruto. "I don't know how they do it in Ame, but here we back up our comrades – exam or no."
"Is that right? I didn't see any of your students cheering for Yoroi or Misumi when they were down in the arena. I got the impression that maybe they didn't know your team very well, but apparently that doesn't matter since they have the same symbol engraved on their forehead protectors as you do."
Shikamaru spoke again. "Do your comrades mean so little to you?"
"They weren't my comrades. My comrades are the men and women who sweat and bleed with me – not the people who live down the block." Naruto looked up as the chef returned with his two bowls of miso and gave the man a nod of appreciation.
Teuchi nodded back and left, not wanting to get in the way of his guests' heated conversation.
Naruto took off his re-breather and began to eat his noodles loudly, drawing yet another frown from Ino. He wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. The Konoha team was giving him a headache. For the most part they ignored him as they gave their own orders down the bar, looking at him only to stare at his frightening face before looking away the second he met their eyes. In time he finished eating and attempted to tune out the mutterings of the team next to him – no doubt about him and in a less than flattering tone.
"You want to know what's wrong with your team, Shikamaru?" The boy looked at Naruto through narrowed eyes, but said nothing. The rest joined the dark haired boy in staring the Ame ninja down a moment later. Good. He had their attention. "You guys take this teamwork shit way too far. I've been in and around Konoha for the last month, and half the times I've seen you you're doing nothing but sitting on your ass staring off into space. I sometimes wonder if you even realize there's a tournament coming up."
Shikamaru's mouth was a hard line, Ino was gritting her teeth, and Chouji was turning red. The only one who didn't react was the jounin, though Naruto could tell he was listening intently. Apparently they didn't take criticism well. "Your teamwork is great, but individually, the three of you suck. Two of you can hardly finish a fight on your own, and the other is all brawn and no finesse or adaptability whatsoever. You obviously don't give a damn about individual achievement."
"Is that all?" Shikamaru was doing his best not to become visibly upset, but was struggling.
It was strange to Naruto that they'd become so defensive in the face of some hard truths, but he supposed that this went deeper than their team strategy. It went to their very ethos. He didn't give a shit. His father hadn't become a legend by waiting for his allies to bail him out of trouble. Most of the time he'd done the bailing.
"No. You're content to do the minimum amount of work so long as you have your buddies to back you up, but in case you haven't noticed, you chose the wrong profession if you're just content to get by. Someday that attitude will get you killed, and your comrades along with you. A proper ninja strives for individual excellence, not because teamwork isn't important, but because a team is strongest when every member is at their best. You might have a nice chain going for you, but right now, all three of you are weak links."
The scowls on the genin's faces had gone from angry to murderous, but the jounin simply continued to give Naruto a calculating stare. Maybe the man had seen some truth in his words.
The chef walked back out with Naruto's check, but froze in his tracks when he saw Naruto's uncovered face for the first time. Slowly he lowered the bill to the counter, never once looking away from the feral ninja.
Naruto didn't look at the slip of paper. He simply removed an impressive wad of cash from one of the pockets in his vest and set it on the counter. Leaning in, he spoke quietly to one of the only men to ever rise to his defense in the village of Konoha. "Do me a favor, old man. Take your tip and bet it all on Yellow in the first match of the exam finals. I'll be fighting Hyuuga Neji. You might want to consider dipping into your savings a bit too. I'm winning this one for ya."
The chef looked at the money stacked on the counter before looking back to the young teen, too shocked for words.
Naruto reattached his re-breather and turned to go. "Believe in me, old man. I'm a sure thing."
"Why the hell is it that we're in Fire Country again?"
That voice was normally obnoxious enough as it was, but when it was complaining? Insufferable. "You know as well as I do why we're here. Now I and the rest of the world not blessed enough to be deaf to your incessant carping would appreciate it if you kept your thoughts to yourself."
"You didn't answer my question."
The tall figure stopped in its tracks and turned to the shorter man in exasperation. He'd promised to try to be a bit more tolerant, but he couldn't be held responsible for his actions when every ignoramus he had the displeasure of working with simply begged him for death. "We're going to make an investment. Now be quiet, or I'll end you."
The second man looked as though he were about to respond, but thought better of it at the penultimate opportunity. The man before him did have a reputation, after all.
The taller of the two continued walking, casually swaying the large duffel bag he held in his right hand back and forth as he walked. He'd just have to savor the few minutes he had before the idiot broke the silence again.
This is why he hated working with partners ever since he'd made jounin nearly a lifetime ago.
His companion surprised him though, waiting nearly seven minutes before breaking the silence yet again. How he desperately wanted to wring the bandanna-wearing idiot by his neck. That was another thing that pissed him off about his partner – his purple bandanna, and the hair held in place by it, simply defied explanation. The hair was a disgusting shade of pastel teal. Frankly, he couldn't understand how the man stayed a missing ninja with such an obvious telltale attribute.
"So what sort of investment are we making?"
The large man could only glare at his companion through eyes of forest green and deep crimson. "We're placing a wager on the upcoming Chuunin Exam finals in Konoha, for the third time."
"Oh, right, right. You were looking at the participants and odds the other day, weren't you? This'll be a good one, I'm sure. Itachi's little brother is in it after all, eh?"
"And the Ichibi's jinchuuriki." The idiot could be so absentminded at times. The tall man reached into his black cloak and produced the flier in question before handing it to his partner. It would save him some breath. And a migraine. Hopefully.
"So who're we betting on? There's the Uchiha, the Kazekage's kid, a Hyuuga… well those are the interesting ones. I'd say Uchiha Sasuke here. If he's anything like Itachi he should have this one in the bag."
"Luckily for us, you aren't the one making these decisions. I've already cleared our pick with the leader. We'll be betting on the first match only – Hyuuga Neji against Yellow."
The bright haired man straightened and gave a curious look at his masked partner. "The Hyuuga, Kakuzu? The payout for this match stinks. What's the damn point of betting on a sure thing?"
Kakuzu groaned. The nitwit needed everything explained to him. "We're betting on Yellow, fool. The odds are eleven to one against."
"Haha! You're kidding, right? How much money do you plan to throw away on this nobody?"
"Two hundred million ryu. And if you knew anything you'd know that the sure bet was this boy and not the Hyuuga."
The shorter man choked on the number. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, Kakuzu. Some random shinobi from Ame is going to win this match? Says who? He's a huge underdog here. The Hyuuga brat is supposed to be some kind of prodigy. Why don't we just bet on a later match?"
"Because this so-called Yellow is the strongest fighter in the tournament, and you know as well as I do that Orochimaru will likely interrupt the later matches. We have no guarantee of those bets being paid." Kakuzu switched the duffel bag to his left hand and continued walking. "As to why Yellow will win, there are a number of reasons. My sources tell me that he wears the armor of Salamander Hanzou's own guard and that he defeated a student of Maito Gai in the preliminary round of the finals who opened five of the Celestial Gates in their bout."
The shorter man whistled. "Five gates, huh? That's pretty nutty for a genin. And you think he was taught by Hanzou? That guy's supposed to be tough, eh?"
Kakuzu halted once again. He honestly couldn't believe that this idiot was still alive with such a blasé outlook. "Have you ever been to Rain Country?"
The other man stood in thought for a moment before shaking his head.
"I strongly suggest you don't visit. Salamander Hanzou makes sport of hunting S-ranked ninja who stumble into his country."
Once again, the shorter man laughed. "You tell it like he's some spook story meant to frighten little kids. I can take care of myself, thanks. You ever meet this guy?"
Kakuzu regretted telling this moron to avoid Ame. Let the little bastard die like the rest. "I met him once when he was still very young."
"Ha. Sometimes I forget how fucking old you really are, Kakuzu. So this kid is good, you think? Just 'cause he might be Hanzou's student and beat a brat who burned himself out with the Gates?"
"No. He'll win because he's the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki, and this will be his introduction to the world."
The teal haired man just stared at Kakuzu for moment, a small smile stretching across his face. "Well shit, old man. All you had to do was say so. Itachi'll be happy, at least. Think he'll give us a smile?"
Kakuzu kept walking towards the now visible gates at the entrance to Otafuku Gai – the gambling capital of Fire Country. "I honestly couldn't care less."
A/N: And here we have another deviation in Naruto's character from canon. Yes, he's going to be a damn sight more perverted in this, but I don't intend to make a cheap comedy act out of it.
I've had the poor kid living like a monk for pretty much his whole life. Right now he's a bit thrown off by these occurrences, but he's a thirteen year old kid who is experiencing new things for the first time. He's also a good deal more mentally and emotionally mature than canon Naruto, so I don't think it's too crazy for him to start thinking about his sexuality. He's not a limp fish.
Not to mention, even canon Naruto doesn't shy away from exploring the issue. He was the great creator of the Sexy jutsu, after all. In this rendition he'll just be a bit more open to his nature instead of sputtering like a fool all the time.
My Naruto is not a fool.
Next Chapter: Dirty Laundry by Don Henley