Chapter Twenty-three: Dark Corners
Lily watched Sirius darkly while she strapped on her protective gear. He was James' best friend…would he really do something to hurt him for the sake of Edith? Was Edith really toying with Sirius or did she truly have plans for James? Remus' recollection of Edith's words danced ominously behind her eyes, "…being with James—was only temporary…" She shuddered at the thought and snatched up the confiscated broom.
Sirius beckoned her toward the field and she obeyed, treading lightly on the soft green grass, slick with fresh morning dew. The last thing she needed was to break her leg falling too.
"Are you fully prepared for this? Slytherins are known for being brutal." Sirius eyed her with unmasked concern, his left eyebrow cocked slightly.
"Fully," she replied, flinging her broomstick nonchalantly over her shoulder with a clumsy whack. "Ow."
Sirius paled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Right. Fabulous. Alright, Lily, let's get started."
He quickly reviewed each ball and its purpose before pulling out the Quaffle. He tossed it lightly into the air for Lily to catch. Although she fumbled with it momentarily, she didn't drop it, and that seemed to please Sirius at least.
The lesson actually didn't go so badly. Granted, Lily walked away with several bruises from the Bludger…and Quaffle…and even the Snitch (somehow), and she couldn't make a goal worth anything, but she could fly. In fact, she maneuvered like a pro, or so Sirius claimed. But Lily wasn't happy with that. What did flying get her if she couldn't even hold onto the ball?
"Don't look so angry. You can't be perfect at everything, you know, but…I think we can use you," Sirius nodded to himself, eyes sparkling with intrigue. "As long as you stay away from all of the balls, you should be fine."
"Um…doesn't that defeat the purpose?" Lily frowned.
"Not at all," Sirius explained. "I need you to be as obnoxious as you can on the field. You're going to get in the other team's way—distract them with your flying, which happens to be top notch."
"Oh." Her chest puffed slightly with pride.
"Don't worry, Lily." He winked. "I think you'll find that being supremely horrible may work to our advantage this time around."
Lily's shoulder's sagged. "Great. Just what I want to be remembered for."
Sirius began collecting the balls. Her eyes flickered toward him conspicuously. He caught her staring and grinned. "Something I can help you with, love, or are you just window shopping?"
Lily blushed in spite of herself and frowned. "No…I…I just wanted to ask you about Edith."
Sirius was still smiling, but his eyes darkened. "What is it?"
"How long has her family been…affiliated with You-Know-Who?"
Sirius grimaced. "We can't talk about that."
"Why not?" Her anger welled. "You would know better than anyone, Sirius. We're talking about your best friend getting tangled up with these people!"
"If I could do something to stop it, I would!" he shouted suddenly. "Believe me," he added, a bit softer.
Lily hung her head. "Sirius…I know you said you think Edith isn't such a bad person, but how can you be so sure?"
He sighed. "Lily, the dealings that go on between pureblood families can't be tampered with. You have to let it go."
Heat began to rise in Lily's stomach. How could he be so dismissive? "What is wrong with you?" She slammed the end of her broom into the ground. "I thought you hated your family and everything that the pure-blood wizarding families stand for! Since when do you just stand by and let things like this happen?"
"Since I've been disowned, Lily," Sirius hissed through bared teeth.
She froze. "I—I didn't know…"
"It doesn't matter," he brushed it away. "I don't know what goes on anymore, nor do I have the desire to."
Lily bit her lip.
"But I know what did go on, and I can tell you that being a part of the Baldric's family is not the safest option. Look, James did what he did because he cares for you. He's a big boy. He can make his own decisions." Sirius crouched down and shook the hair from his eyes. "And I'm telling you right now to stay out of it, for your own good. A deal has been made between two very powerful families."
Her eyes glinted. "What can we do to keep James away from them?"
"We do nothing," he replied pointedly, slamming the trunk of Quidditch equipment shut. "There's nothing we can do."
--
"CHEERS!"
Butterbeer slopped down Lily's crisp white shirt and she grimaced. "Oh that's wonderful. I just had the house elves press this."
It was the evening before the big Quidditch game, and Lily was stuffed into the common room for a house celebration.
"Lighten up!" Charlotte threw an arm around her, her highly illegal firewhiskey sloshing about, threatening to wreak more havoc on Lily's blouse. "This is a partyyyy!" She whirled away suddenly and was caught by one of the Gryffindor Chasers. Within seconds, they'd disappeared behind a shimmery red and gold banner to…er…exchange niceties.
Lily frowned as she shuffled through the crowd. Someone threw their arm around her and bellowed, "Good luck tomorrow, Evans! Don't screw it up!"
"Gee, thanks," she dusted off her shoulder after he disappeared. Flustered by the commotion, she hardly noticed the angry, brooding stare of James Potter from across the room. He'd apparently been released from the Hospital Wing, and he was lounged against the far wall, a crutch propped up beside him. He wasn't his usual mischievous self, and when Lily caught his eyes, she couldn't take the intensity of his glare and turned elsewhere, a small blush creeping up her neck. Apparently he'd heard the news about her taking his spot on the Quidditch team. And apparently, he wasn't too keen on the idea.
"Lily," a voice fluttered by her left ear. She swiveled around to see Sirius winking at her, two small glasses in his hand. "Will you do the honors?"
Her eyes narrowed. "What is that?"
"Pumpkin juice, love," he winked. "The kind they don't store in the kitchens."
"No thank you. It looks highly illegal. I couldn't possibly condone that let alone drink it in front of all my subordinates. You're lucky I haven't turned you in for this party."
"That attitude is exactly why you need it, love. Everyone's rooting for you." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gestured to the crowd. She was suddenly aware that all eyes were on her. The Gryffindor players were all in a circle, small glasses in hand for a ceremonial drink.
"Er…" She spotted James again, eyes so dark they were boring holes in her skull. This was his place, his drink, his team. "I don't think—"
"Come on, love," Sirius whispered suddenly, his lips seductively to her ear, "Take one for the team."
Lily blushed and swallowed hard, eyeing the small glass he'd placed in her hand. His mouth curled in a grin, and he pushed her into the small circle. "Er…"
The entire room chanted the countdown.
"Three…!"
Sirius lit a flame on each glass for the team with one swoop of his wand. Lily gulped and stared uneasily at the bubbling liquid.
"Two…!"
Lily eyed James over the lip of her glass, the small yellow flame dancing before his face.
"One…GRYFFINDOR!"
She swallowed and gasped for air, but when she did so, she immediately regretted it. A raging burn tore through her throat and esophagus, tears prickling in her eyes.
Sirius patted her on the back. "Always hold your breath for at least ten seconds after firewhiskey. Did I forget to mention that?"
Lily glared. "You might have," she choked hoarsely, still massaging her throat. "Whoa." She clutched her head and swayed a bit.
"It's that good," Sirius winked, his arm still around her.
"Cheers!" Peter patted her on the back. "Good luck tomorrow!"
"Yeah, good luck tomorrow, Evans!" A derisive voice burst suddenly from the crowd. James hobbled forward, a drink in hand.
Lily and Sirius hesitated, and his arm tightened around her shoulder. Lily noticed the small smirk forming on his features.
James' eyes narrowed and he let out a snarky laugh. "Were you planning on telling me you wanted to steal my place on the team?"
She broke free of Sirius and glared brazenly at James. "I'm doing this for you, James."
"Oh, for me?" he grinned stupidly and swallowed the last gulp from his glass. "How kind of you. But I don't recall asking you to shag my best friend."
The room went silent.
"Watch it, mate," Sirius' voice was deadly.
"Or what?" James turned to him, waving his empty glass in Sirius' face. "You gonna keep screwing everything of mine that comes your way?"
"Look who's talking, mate," Sirius snarled, pressing his face up to James'.
Lily pulled Sirius back with some effort. "What's gotten into you?" she hissed to James, feeling a bit lightheaded from the firewhiskey, but James was clearly in worse condition.
"Or rather, who's gotten into you?"
Lily slapped him.
James clutched his face. Undeterred, he leaned in with a grin. "There's no way he'd let you on the team unless he thought he could get something for himself."
Despite her best efforts to stare James down brazenly, she could feel the prickle of tears. After everything that had happened, that she was trying to do, he couldn't even give her the benefit of the doubt. He really thought she was so low, so pathetic.
Without another word, Lily turned on her heel and left, angry and humiliated.
"Lily," Peter called after her, but she was already out the portrait hole.
"Let her go," James hollered, "I'm sure she'll find another way to keep herself busy—"
"That's enough, James." A stern voice carried over the crowded room from where Remus stood neatly, his eyes warning.
"You too? Aren't you bored with her yet? It's Sirius' turn now, after all."
The awkwardness that filled the room had sent most of the partiers back up to their rooms save for a curious few.
Sirius snarled at them dangerously. "Clear off!" They quickly scurried away as Remus strode across the room towards James.
"You're pissed," he said in disgust.
James swayed slightly. "What gave you that idea, Remy?"
"Sit down," he shoved James onto the couch roughly.
Taken aback, James obeyed, a slightly dazed look about him.
Remus had never looked more wolfish in the orange firelight, casting dim shadows across his weary, handsome features. "Is that how you treat someone you care about? Someone who only wants what's best for you?"
James scoffed. "She's messing with my head."
"She's messing with your head? Do you realize what you've put her through? And she's still kind enough to care about you." Remus shook his head. "Until you wake up and realize what it means to be a man, you'll never have her. You only think she's messing with your head because she's in your head."
The fire crackled, and James stared into it, sobering slightly.
Remus' shoulders relaxed and he stared fiercely down at James. "When you realize why that is, then maybe there'll be some hope for you." He massaged the bridge of his nose. "Until then…I don't want to be around you."
With heaviness about him, Remus strode past Sirius and Peter, both leaning against the wingback chairs. Without a moment's hesitation, they too split up and headed in opposite directions, leaving James alone to his hazy, swirling thoughts.
--
Lily swayed slightly in the halls and caught the cool stone wall to steady herself a moment. She was wandering aimlessly, trying to find her way to Ravenclaw tower in the hopes of running into Mila, but a dizziness was overtaking her and she wasn't all that positive she was going in the right direction.
She tried desperately not to think about James' horrible accusations, and instead focused on moving one foot in front of the other. For some reason, it was becoming increasingly difficult. The firewhiskey was swirling through her body, and the anger was rushing blood to her head; the result was having an adverse effect, and she wasn't feeling too hot.
Trying to blink through the slight haziness, Lily scanned the halls to figure out where she was. By now she hoped that the common room had emptied, and if she headed back she might just be able to slip back to her room unnoticed. The only problem was…
She wasn't quite sure where she was.
Just then, something whisked by her.
Lily blinked and whirled around only to meet emptiness. She scanned the hall for a moment, then clutched her head with a groan. She was going mad. And yet, she had the eerie feeling of being watched, as if something was hovering behind her in the shadows. She heard footsteps nearby, but when she turned, again it was empty.
"Who's there?" She tried to keep her voice calm, but with a spinning head she was unnerved.
"Hee hee hee!" cackled a voice.
Something whisked by her, and she was suddenly hailed by a barrage of chalk. By the looks and feel of it, it appeared to be Hogwarts' entire supply. "PEEVES!" she bellowed, spinning around to catch him. She felt for her wand, but frowned when she realized she'd left it in the common room.
"Little Lily Lilykins, Miss Prefecty-perfecty-prefect!" The poltergeist materialized, spinning around on his head, then flicked another piece of chalk which smacked her right between the eyes. With a poof, he dissipated.
Lily stumbled slightly, muttering curses under her breath as she examined the sea of chalk at her feet, but she wasn't in the mood to clean it up. Not without a wand, anyway. Grumbling, she wiped the white streak from her forehead and started back in the direction she hoped was Gryffindor tower.
Thankfully, the firewhiskey was starting to wear off, and her blurred vision started to clear. But as she stumbled around a corner, her body cracked against a brick wall. She was practically thrown backwards by the force and groaned, massaging her head.
Sniggering filled the air. Since when did walls laugh? Maybe she wasn't as sober as she thought. She blinked through the dim light of the hall and blanched. She quickly recognized the two big Slytherin beaters from the day she confronted Edith on the field, now blocking her path. She blanched, but tried to straighten and look authoritative.
"And what would you be doing out of bed, little miss?" One of them smirked, his lips curling to reveal yellowed, crooked teeth.
The other one stepped out of the shadows. He was shorter and a bit better looking, but Lily wasn't really all that focused on that. She was more concerned with his leer. "Don't you have a game tomorrow?"
She took a step back and puffed up her chest. "The better question is what you're both doing out of bed. I am a prefect."
They looked at each other and guffawed.
"Well, our mistake, madam." The ugly one bowed.
Lily's heart was thudding and she tried to move past them, but the shorter one shoved her suddenly. She stumbled backward into a dark corridor, and her back hit the wall with a thud. "How dare you!" she began to shout, but a hand clasped over her mouth.
"Ah-ah. Too loud. Do that again and we'll have to take something." He hissed.
"What about this," the ugly one reached out and lifted Lily's right arm. "She doesn't need this to play Quidditch, does she?"
Lily jerked her arm free and bit the short one's hand.
He growled in pain and whipped out his wand, shoving it in Lily's face. A little blood trickled down his wrist, his features contorting with rage. "You'll regret that. We'll make sure you never move that pretty little body of yours again."
The ugly one licked his lips, grinning impishly. "Can't we have a little fun with her first?"
"Take your disgusting hands off me," Lily spat. "I'll make sure you're expelled."
The ugly one laughed, then like a rabid dog, snarled and pushed the short one of the way, pulling his own wand on her and wrapped his hand around her throat. "Filthy mudblood, you think you're better than us? You're blood is sewage. You aren't worthy of breathing my air." He tightened his grip on her neck and raised his wand. "Cruci-"
The ugly one stopped mid-sentence, and turned a stunned face to his wand arm. A hand was wrapped tightly around his wrist, holding it back. Lily's eyes widened.
"Do not," James hissed, "touch her."
"You—" the short one turned and came at James with his wand.
Dropping his crutch, he snagged the collar of the beater's shirt and punched him hard in the face. The Slytherin stopped in his tracks, wavered, and toppled to the floor, blood trickling from his nose.
Before his stunned companion could think to move, James grabbed him as well, jerking him back into the far wall with a crack. His fist met the Slytherin's face, and limply, his body slid down the wall and crumpled in a heap on the floor.
He turned to Lily, eyes shining even in the dim light. "Sometimes hands-on is a more effective method of getting the message across."
Lily clutched her throat and stared at him wordlessly.
James frowned. "A simple 'Thank you, James' would be appropriate."
Glaring, she shoved past him out into the hall. "I had it under control."
"Sure you did." He snatched his crutch and hobbled alongside her.
"How did you find me?" She walked quickly in the hopes he would fall behind, but even with his crutch, his long legs kept to her pace with ease.
"I have my secrets."
"Then go back the way you came. Get away from me."
He chuckled. "You're not still sore about what I said, are you?"
Lily could feel the heat rising. She took a deep steadying breath and tried to ignore his insolence.
"Talk to me."
Again, she ignored him, eyes cast straight ahead.
"Lily."
Silence.
"Lily."
She flicked a strand of hair from her eyes indifferently.
Just then, James grabbed her by the wrists and shoved her through the door of an empty classroom, slamming it behind him.
"Let go of me!" she roared, wrenching herself from his grasp. "I think I've been assaulted enough for one day." She turned to leave but he grabbed her roughly, his dark eyes searching hers.
"You love me."
"I don't," Lily hissed. "You're egotistical enough to think that everyone loves you."
"But you want me," he smirked, a bit of his tousled hair dancing in front of his eyes. "Like I want you."
"Wanting and loving are not the same thing, James," she frowned, trying to move past him.
He caught her waist firmly. "What if I do love you? Would you say it to me then?"
"James," Lily shook her flaming hair, "you do not love me." She began to slip free of his grip, but she wasn't quick enough.
James shoved her indelicately into the wall, her back cracking against the stone.
"Say it," he growled, a hand placed firmly against the wall on either side of her head. The fingers of his splayed right hand were tangled in her auburn locks, and his face was so close she could see pinpricks of sweat forming at his disheveled hairline. His breath still smelled of the firewhiskey.
"Get off of me." Lily stared him down fiercely, her green eyes burning with anger. "Now."
"Not," James whispered, his hot breath tickling her forehead, the scent of whiskey lingering in the air, "until you say it."
"Despite what you may think, Potter," Lily glared, trying to ignore the distance between them, his lean body arched over her, "you do not own my will. You can't treat me like crap one second and then expect me to fall at your feet the next."
Without warning, James lifted a hand from the rough wall and embraced her cheek with surprising tenderness, delicately stroking her flushed ivory skin. His thumb ran softly over her lips, smoothly tracing a path to her chin, which he titled gently upward so that she could not look away. The deep, burning hazel of his eyes was so intense and dark with passion that Lily could feel bits of herself slowly melting away.
"What if," he whispered again, "I do love you…?"
Lily swallowed hard, her whole body hot like fire. "James, I…"
He caught her lips with his, hands cradling her head, fingers entangled in her red locks. Lily grasped one of his wrists with the intention of pulling him away, but she felt suddenly weakened, her desires turning elsewhere.
James kissed her hungrily, pressing his body against hers, desperate to be as close as possible. Frustrated, his hands found her waist, and he pulled her hips into his roughly, a hand grasping her bum. The other traveled up her side and to her neck, only grazing the parts of her that ached to be touched.
Lily closed her eyes as James' kisses ran down her neck and across the tender skin of her collar bone where he stretched the white cotton collar of her shirt as far as it would go without tearing it off.
"James," she groaned, forcing her eyes open. "James." Lily gripped James' face hard suddenly, pulling him to meet her gaze. "James." His eyes were still dark, overcome with passion and running purely on instinct. He was breathing hard. "Stop."
He shook his head fiercely, kissing her again. "No."
"James!" She pulled him from her lips, resting her forehead against his. "We can't do this. This can't happen."
"What? This?" James ran a hand up her cheek and tangled it in her tousled hair. "Or us?"
Lily's eyes steeled. "You know the answer to that." She pulled away and frowning.
"Lily, don't."
"James," she looked up and met his pleading eyes. "You can't string me along. It hurts."
"It's not like that—"
"Yes it is!" Lily cried. She turned away and headed for the door. "You're going to marry Edith Baldric."
"I don't want to marry her!" James yelled. He grabbed her arm and jerked her back around to face him properly.
"But you will, James," Lily laughed bitterly. "This isn't your playtime. There are rules to live by, and you made a vow. You can't go back on that, even if you wanted to." She yanked her arm free and jerked open the door.
"Lily—" James snarled.
"Plus," she added bitterly over her shoulder, "You're pissed." She slammed the door behind her.