Bella:
Ok, I'm about to go KILL Mike Newton!!
Edward:
What did he do now??
Bella:
Well, I was at the park eating my goldfish. I was just minding my own business, and then he comes.
Edward:
I hate riddles, Bella. What happened?
Bella:
He came and snatched my bag of goldfish and fed them to the pigeons.
Edward:
… Bella I can buy you a new bag of goldfish. It's not a big deal.
Bella:
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY EDWARD?! Those goldfish were flavor blasted!!
Edward:
OMG
Suddenly Alice appears out of nowhere
Alice:
I heard the news.
Bella:
-Sobs- I know, it's tragic.
Alice:
Bella, I know it'll be okay. I'll go take care of him.
Bella:
How will you do that??
Alice:
-Mysteriously- I have my ways.
Alice runs out of the room then disappears into the night
Edward:
Oh no.
Bella:
What? What? WHAT?
Edward:
Mike's in for a lot of pain. Someone stole Alice's pretzels one time, let me just tell you, he ended up looking like a pretzel.
Bella:
Haha, Mike's gonna be a pretzel man.
Alice is entering a dark room; all is black except for a glow coming from the computer screen on the other side of the room. Mike Newton is sitting in front of the computer screen playing what looks like World of Warcraft.
Alice:
-Whispering- Mike Newton.
Mike:
-Whirls around- WHOA!! Who said that??
Alice:
Your worst nightmare.
Mike:
Eric I left my Barbie in the garage, sorry.
Alice:
I'M NOT ERIC YOU FOOL!
Mike:
Well, then who are you?? Reaches for the light switch
Alice manages to hide right before the lights come on
Alice:
You've stolen Bella's goldfish for the last time Newton.
Mike:
Today was the first time!!
Alice:
-Pulls a small bag out of purse and holds it out- Do you know what these are Newton??
Mike:
No, I don't even know who you are!!
Alice opens the bag and pulls out… FRUIT GUSHERS!!
Alice:
You put this upon yourself Newton.
Mike:
MY NAME IS MIKE, CALL ME MIKE!!
Alice:
Okay Mike, if that is your real name, why did you steal Bella's goldfish??
Mike:
I don't know.
Alice:
WRONG ANSWER!! -Throws five fruit gushers at Mike-
Mike:
OW!!
Alice:
ONLY SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!! -Throws five more fruit gushers at Mike- Oh crap, I'm out.
Alice mysteriously disappears leaving a confused, injured Mike in the dust.
Mike:
Stupid gushing fruit snacks.