Author's Note:
Author's Note:
We write things that come straight out of our heads. A lot of times, these things don't make any sense at all. Please bear with us, and we will try our best to entertain you. Thank you so much for all the great comments you have left us, we are so grateful. Oh, and the words WE and US are being used because TeamJempwarth is a club created by a group of friends. You can join if you want (see our profile.) Now on to the story…
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It was just another normal day in the Cullen household (well if you consider vampires normal, but normal for them.) Bella had been visiting a lot recently to get to know this coven (if you will) better. On this day, Bella was up in Edward's room listening to music and Edward was continuously asking her what she was thinking. Very normal. Very normal until Jasper entered the room.
Bella:
Hey Jasper!
Jasper:
Hey Blela! (Hey Bella)
Edward:
Jasper, why are you talking so funny??
Jasper:
Hnotlsey I hvae no ieda. (Honestly I have no idea)
Edward:
Jasper seriously, be mature.
Jasper:
Ewdrad, I'm not dinog tihs on prospue (Edward, I'm not doing this on pupose)
Bella:
Does he do this often??
Edward:
He never does this!
Alice rushes into the room.
Alice:
Jasper, there you are!
Jasper:
Hey Aicle. (Hey Alice)
Alice:
Jasper, I thought I told you to stop talking like that!
Jasper:
OGM gyus, pelase blievee me! (OMG guys please believe me)
Alice:
Jasper, people can control their talking habits.
Jasper:
I cna't hlep it gyus!! (I can't help it guys!)
Alice:
Talk to the hand!
Alice walks out of the room with her palm turned to Jasper
This "normal" day continues with Jasper talking funny and no one believing that he can't help it. However, Carlisle and Esme don't know of this strange happening. But soon Jasper's bizarre talking gets bizarrer (I know that's not a word, give me a break.)
Jasper:
Edward, come here you sexy hunk!!
Alice:
Jasper's talking is normal!!
Edward:
-Shakes his head- Not really.
Jasper:
-Turns to Emmett- Emmett, have you been working out?? I like that in a man.
Alice:
Jasper??
Jasper:
Rosalie, your makeup isn't complementing your face today. We need to do spa treatments tonight.
Alice:
-Makes Jasper look at her- Jasper? Jasper! You are a guy!! A MALE!!
Jasper:
Ooh girl, don't touch me like that!!
Bella:
Ok, this is beyond weird.
Emmett:
Bella, when you're in a house full of vampires, you should expect weird.
Rosalie:
-Glares at Bella-
Alice:
CARLISLE!! CARLISLE COME HERE!!
Carlisle glides into the room.
Carlisle:
What Alice? I was in the middle of Grey's Anatomy.
Alice:
Jasper is acting really weird and I'm worried.
Carlisle approaches Jasper and examines him.
Carlisle:
Jasper, I think we need to have a minute in my office.
Carlisle and Jasper walk up the stairs and into Carlisle's office. After just a few minutes, they walk down back down the staircase.
Carlisle:
It's just his off-day.
Everyone:
Huh??
Carlisle:
A human goes through puberty, and this is what a vampire goes through. I simply call it an off-day because it only lasts for 24 hours.
Alice:
Well that's a relief, but what exactly is he going through??
Carlisle:
Well first, it was a brief speech impediment, then for the rest of the time… he will have a feminine day.
Emmett:
Haha, Jasper's having a gay day!
Carlisle:
He is about done with this part of it. After this, he will have a sugar craving then an emotional breakdown.
Edward:
-Sarcastically- Ooh, fun.
Jasper:
Does anyone have something really sweet on them??
Edward:
Umm, I think I have some chocolate in my room.
Jasper uses his super speed to quickly run up to Edward's room.
Bella:
-Looks at Edward- No you don't.
Edward:
I know.
Alice:
Carlisle, why would a vampire have a human substance craving?
Carlisle:
I don't have any earthly idea.
Jasper (from upstairs:)
WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE?!
Edward:
OH, IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT THE WINDOW!!
CRASH!!
Alice:
Did he just jump out the window?
Rosalie:
I think so.
Jasper re-enters the room from the front door.
Edward:
Did you find the chocolate??
Jasper:
NO!! Shut up! You guys are so… so… so MEAN to me!!
Carlisle:
And there's the emotional breakdown.
Jasper:
-Starts to cry- FINE!! I guess that's it then!! You guys only want me around to TORTURE me!!
Emmett:
-Snickers-
Jasper lets out a scream then stomps up the stairs.
Bella:
Does this happen to all vampires??
Carlisle:
Unless they were changed after they were 30, so it won't happen to Esme. But Edward and Rosalie will be the next ones.
Rosalie:
What happens to girls??
Carlisle:
Oh that's much more humorous. Girls grow a mustache for the day.
Rosalie:
NNNNOOOO!!