Goemon and Omitsu found that a search for food in a forest populated by mechanical trees left much to be desired. Making sure not to stray too far from their entry point, which they designated as the camp site, they listened for animals and heard none. They searched for fruit and saw very little. Bit by bit, they decided it would be worth it to expand the search to a wider area, though they stayed together. Being separated in these woods would be tragic and terrifying, indeed.

Goemon led the way, and Omitsu followed close behind, carrying any food they found in the apron that hung from her waist. "Come on, there's gotta be something better than nuts and berries around here..." Goemon complained as he kicked at bushes and whistled in an attempt to lure out any delicious and unsuspecting critters. "Ah, now there's something," he whispered, moving low to the ground at the same time.

"Huh?" Omitsu looked in the same direction as Goemon and felt like slapping him in the back of the head. "Oh, Goemon, we can't eat that. It's just a poor little bunny."

Sure enough, a small pink rabbit was sniffing at the grass a short distance away. It hadn't yet noticed the two humans watching it, and continued in its instinctive activities. "Well, have you seen anything better yet, Omitsu? Just turn away if you don't wanna watch," Goemon said.

"Yeah, gladly," Omitsu replied as she turned completely around. "Poor bunny..."

Goemon slowly and silently moved towards his prey. He had searched long and hard for a significant food source; he wasn't about to let it get away so easily. Each step he took brought him closer and closer to a hearty meal, which still showed no sign of realizing the danger it was in.

The ninja were renowned for their stealth. Moving silently through shadow, they prided themselves on having the element of surprise on their side. Any foe of a ninja would likely be attacked before they even knew who was hitting them. With all that admirable history of conquering their enemies so quietly, it was a real shame that a ninja who thought so highly of himself would be discovered through such an obvious mistake.

Never taking his eyes off the prize, Goemon decided it would be safe to take one more step. "Almost there..." he thought as he raised his pipe and moved slightly closer. Just as his foot hit the ground, there was a loud snap of a cracking twig, causing the ninja to stop dead in his tracks. "Ah, crap."

The rabbit turned its head to this new sound. Locking its eyes with Goemon, both of them moved not a muscle. "Please don't run away, please don't run away..." Goemon whispered.

Clearly, the creature had no intention of doing any such thing. Its eyes grew large, its teeth were bared, and it hopped towards Goemon in all its furry fury. Goemon raised his weapon to cover his face. "Ack!"

Meanwhile, all Omitsu heard were some grunts from Goemon and the sound of colliding metal. "What is going on back there? Eek!" Her hands flew up to her cheeks as part of her horrified expression upon turning around.

"Ack! The food!" Goemon whined. With nothing left to hold Omitsu's apron up, the paltry amount the duo had managed to forage littered the area around her feet.

"Never mind about the food, Goemon! What are you carrying that rabbit's severed head around for?!"

"Omitsu, this is no ordinary rabbit. Here, take a look." Goemon held the head up by the ears and moved it closer to Omitsu's face. Its black eyes had no sign of life left in them.

"Eek, get that thing away from me!" Omitsu closed her eyes and swatted at the air, eventually knocking the poor animal's head out of his hands. It bounced on the ground a few times and rolled over towards the rest of its lifeless body.

"Omitsu, if you'd just let me explain..." Goemon said through clenched teeth.

"What's there to explain? You slaughtered that poor rabbit and then waved its head in my face!" By this time, tears were beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "Wha-What, do you think that's funny or something?!"

"Omitsu, listen to me, this is important!" In this short amount of time, Goemon's voice had been raised to a volume he had never even been close to achieving with any of his friends. He couldn't believe himself, and neither could Omitsu, but there would be time to address that later. He took a deep breath and walked over to the separated head and body. "Anyway, we can't eat this thing. It's made of metal."

"It's...what?" Omitsu blinked as she tried to figure out just what he was getting at. Goemon kicked the head onto its side, so that the base of the neck faced Omitsu. She took a deep breath and kneeled down for a closer look.

"See? There's wires and stuff in the neck," Goemon explained.

A spark flew out of the severed head, causing the waitress to jump and let out a small yelp. "S-So what does this mean? Why is it so important that that rabbit was actually a...a robot?"

"Well, I could be wrong, but...at the very least, I think Bismaru knows we're here. Chances are, the whole forest is full of robots like this one. So just stay alert, Omitsu."

Omitsu nodded, but she turned her head away and hung it low in an obvious attempt to avoid eye contact with her friend. She bit her lip and brought her frying pan out, staring at it in the hopes that it would give her an answer to just what she was really doing there. "Hey, we might finally get to see just what you can do with that," Goemon chimed in.

A small smile came across Omitsu's face as she nodded once more. "So, what do we do now? I don't think we'll be able to eat most of this," she said, indicating the food that had fallen from her apron.

"Well..." Goemon rubbed his chin in deep thought. Eventually, he sighed and revealed his plan. "We've gotta get out of this forest as soon as possible. Find the nearest town."

"But...But what about the others?"

"They've been gone a long time and they'd do the same thing if they were in our situation. Besides, they can take care of themselves. Well, Ebisumaru is a bit questionable, but I'm sure even he's fine wherever he is."

"So...does this mean we're going to move farther away from the camp site?" There was a slight shaking in her voice.

"Of course. We're obviously nowhere near a town right now."

--

Searching more forest yielded a surprisingly clear stream that provided both a source of running water and a depository of fish. The ones Goemon was able to catch were quickly gutted (with Omitsu facing the other way), and eaten in even less time. Goemon seemed very anxious, and refused to sit still in the same place any longer than was absolutely necessary. After cleaning themselves and getting a drink in the river, they were once again on their way. "Umm...I think it's this way..." Goemon said as he led Omitsu away.

They wandered for what seemed like, and most likely were, hours. Every few minutes, Goemon would turn his head and assure his traveling companion that he knew what he was doing and they would be able to get a nice, soft bed in the next town really soon. Of course, the truth of the matter was that he would have given anything for a map at that moment.

Omitsu, knowing nothing more than Goemon about their current situation and location, would just nod and agree with him whenever he said something like this. She was quickly growing exhausted. They had been walking nonstop since eating, and she would have given anything for that soft bed Goemon kept promising her. She yawned before stopping suddenly. "Goemon, wait," she said.

"Huh? What is it?" Goemon asked as he turned around to face her. "This had better be important, we can't stop for very long, Omitsu."

"I hate to say this, but...I think we've just gone in a big circle, Goemon." She pointed to the ground a short distance away, where there was a pile of sticks in the center of a ring of small rocks. Goemon gritted his teeth and kicked the twigs with a loud scream when he realized what this meant. This shrine of sticks and rocks was built by the two of them shortly after their arrival. It was originally intended to be used for a fire, but became a signal to their friends that they had been there after they had decided to keep moving.

Omitsu gulped and backed away from her enraged friend. "G-Goemon? Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? Is that even a serious question?!" Omitsu winced at this relatively harsh reply. "We need to get out of this stupid forest, and instead we end up back where we started! Do I look like things are okay, Omitsu?!"

"Please, c-calm down. You're scaring me..."

Goemon furrowed his brow between his fingers. "Really? I can't believe it's taken you this long to figure out that this is the real me!"

"No, Goemon. I've known you long enough to know that this actually isn't the real you. You're just really upset right now, so why don't you try to calm down and--"

"Why? We've been wandering around for hours and made no progress!"

"Exactly! It's late, you must be tired, so just sit down and relax." Omitsu cautiously moved behind Goemon and gently rubbed his shoulders. "You want me to go see if we missed any food around here?"

"Nah, it's fine," said Goemon after a deep breath. "Let's just keep moving and try not to end up back here again."

"No!" Now it was Goemon's turn to be shocked by a sudden outburst. "I already told you you should try to relax. I think it would be better if we just got some sleep here."

"What? But what if we get ambushed or something?"

"I've already thought of that, silly," she replied with a smirk. "I'll keep watch while you sleep, then you can do the same thing for me later."

"Wait, are you sure? I mean, it can be dangerous, and--Ow!" Goemon's lecture had been interrupted when a small, round object hit him square in the forehead. "What the heck was that?"

Omitsu turned around and pointed to the likely instigator almost immediately. An orange monkey-like robot that didn't seem to have even the smallest bit of mammalian detail in its appearance sat on a branch of a relatively short tree with its mouth open in a perfect circle. It looked down at Goemon and Omitsu with a blank expression, giving no signal about what it was thinking or what it planned to do next. Suddenly, it attacked. A metallic ball shot out of its mouth straight at the two people below.

Goemon raised his pipe to defend himself, but the projectile never came to him. Omitsu had also brandished her weapon of choice in preparation for another attack, and had hit the ball with the underside of the pan before it could reach him. The monkey was hit in the head and fell backwards out of the tree, hitting the forest floor with a crash. Goemon looked at the tree and let out an impressed whistle. "Nice job, Omitsu," he said.

Omitsu smiled at the compliment, but frowned seconds later before swinging her weapon overhead right behind Goemon. He turned around after feeling a rush of air and hearing the sound of two hollow metal objects colliding. There was an oversized hornet at his feet, and a small number of sparks flew out of its stinger as its abdomen twitched.

"Oh, I think I can manage just fine," Omitsu said with a smile and a wink.

--

Swerving left and right through the water and getting splashed in the face, Yae tried her best to swim as swiftly as she could from her approaching foe. Sasuke held on for dear life, and although his metallic hands nearly strangled his mermaid transport, she never complained. There was no time to argue in this situation.

The massive reptilian robot chasing them screeched and snapped at them, often falling short of Yae's tail by mere inches. Such a blunder would give the two ninjas a chance to boost ahead.

"This is bad," Sasuke said after quickly glancing back. "We can't keep this up much longer."

"Yeah," Yae replied while panting heavily. "It doesn't look like we're gonna lose him anytime soon like this. Hold on, Sasuke, we're going under!"

"Wh-What?! I don't know a--Bllbbppptt!" They had already disappeared below the water's surface.

--

Restless and anxious, Goemon turned back and forth on the forest floor. He finally ended up on his back and sighed, looking over at Omitsu. The waitress had her back to him and sat cross-legged, looking in the distance for any friend or foe that might approach. Goemon sat up and cleared his throat.

"Huh?" Omitsu turned her head. "Oh, Goemon. You should get some rest."

"I can't sleep. I guess I'm too upset...I'm sorry for getting so angry before, by the way."

"It...It's okay, Goemon..." Omitsu replied, turning her whole body to face him. "I haven't done much but weigh you down so far, after all."

"Don't say that, Omitsu. I...I'm glad you came along."

Omitsu blinked. Hearing Goemon say something like this was quite rare. "Wow...Thanks, Goemon. Thank you so much." She smiled at him, which sent a slight chill up the ninja's spine.

Goemon smiled back at her before holding his shoulder and shifting it in its socket. "Mmph..."

"Oh, let me help you with that, Goemon." Ignoring his protestations, she scooted up behind him and began rubbing his shoulders.

"Ah, n-no, it's--Ooh, wow! You're really good at this, Omitsu." Goemon exhaled slowly, relaxed his arms, and closed his eyes.

The waitress giggled and leaned closer to whisper a response. "Well, working in the kitchen so much has made me really good with my hands." She kept massaging for a few more seconds before stopping suddenly as she realized the implications of what she had just said. She gasped and put a hand to her mouth in embarrassment.

Goemon, meanwhile, may or may not have heard and understood what she just said. By this time, he was softly chuckling to himself. "Dehehehehe..."

--

Author's Notes: No animals were harmed in the making of this fic.