College was not an easy time for me. With my best friend back home and I'm in California at UCLA, it wasn't as easy to be on my own as I thought it was going to be. Instead of feeling alive and independent, I felt alone and out of place. I joined a sorority, and I found a sisterhood, but they were nothing like me. They were very stereotypical while I was a dreamer. Pursuing a career in theater while being in a sorority wasn't easy, but I did it. That was one thing I learned in high school, I never back down. It may not be easy, but I'm so determined that isn't going to stop me. Five and a half long years later, I graduated.
Now, I am living in los angelus with a sorority sister who was a fashion merchandising major. She was in an internship at some big fashion magazine, while I…I'm a lowly casting director's personal assistant. It isn't as bad as I make it sound. Okay, no really it's a horrible position if you don't have my determination. What is really pushing me on is the fact that it's a good step towards my goal, and the pay isn't shitty that's for sure. Overall I like where I am for now. That's me settling again. I've been settling a lot lately. I settled for an assistant job. I settled for living in downtown. I settled for dating just another boy. Trent isn't that bad though, but after my high school dream month, it sure does seem like settling. Trent's just a chef at an upscale restaurant named le amore; he was no Zac Efron.
"Isabella, are you even paying attention to what I said?" my roommate asked me. I nod slightly even though I barely heard, but I settled for getting the overall idea of what she was saying. I was going to have the apartment to myself for the month while she was in France for the magazine. Sadly, I don't read her magazine even though copies are splayed throughout the entire apartment. Maybe while she's gone I'll read a couple. No, even I know that's a lie. I won't have time or the drive to read them. It isn't that they are bad. I'm just usually exhausted when I get home from work. And with that she's gone. She's probably gone out with her co-workers. She tries, she really does. She used to invite me out, but I'm just to exhausted.
I'm at the office by day break waiting in his office with his coffee and bagel on his desk, just the way he likes it. He nods approvingly as he sits and asks me his agenda for today. Tomorrow is exciting, at least for me. It's my first time to go to auditions with him. I'm supposed to go and take his notes as the girls read with the male lead. The director and my boss decided since the male lead is already famous that they should have a new comer for the leading lady. I know if I was really going after my dream, I'd be auditioning and not taking notes, but once again I'm settling. Right now, I've had enough of uncomfortable situations and not knowing where I'm going. For now, settling is alright with me. I really want it to be tomorrow though.
The day went by a bit too fast for me, and I'm left with simply waiting for dinner time to roll around. However, before it does, Trent calls and tells me that it's a slow day and I should come down to the restaurant for dinner. It sounds like a simple enough plan, and I get a free meal. That is always a plus. When I arrive the hostess scrunches her nose and walks away not bothering to seat me. She never does. She is very gorgeous with long blonde hair with equally stunning blue eyes, and apparently she likes my boyfriend. Sometimes I want to tell her to she can have him, but then I remember I would be alone. I've been alone for far too long…ever since that day filming finished. Instead, I make my way past general tables and then past the vip section.
And there he is. I don't know how he caught my attention, because I was making a beeline for the kitchen. I watched as his eyes sparkle when he laughed at whatever his companion said. I also saw how the sparkle faded when he went back to normal conversation. I wondered what happened to the sparkle that used to be there all the time. I found myself longing for the sparkle to come back. Before I could notice more, Trent appeared out of nowhere and pulled me into the kitchen as he enthusiastically spoke about his newest pasta creation. And by paying attention to Trent, I missed the blue eyed boys double take as he glanced my way. Oh, how I wish I had seen that.
The pasta was heavenly, but the experience was mediocre. It felt like I was eating alone watching a monologue on television. Sometimes Trent let his ego get to him. As I kissed his cheek to leave through the back door to the kitchen, he kissed the top of my head after I came off my toes, "I love you," he whispered. Looking up at him I smiled sweetly and respond with a general 'you too' like answer. It wasn't the first time he told me he loved me, and it wasn't the first time my answer wasn't clear. I just can't lie to him, but I can't disappoint him either. I've been disappointed much too much in my life, and I just can't bring myself to disappoint anyone like I've been disappointed. So without another word I catch a taxi and go back to my lonely apartment, then again I like being on my own in my apartment.
Today is the day and I'm so excited. I know it's going to be perfect. Instead of going to the office with his coffee and bagel, I am to meet him and the director at studio 32. As I am let into the production site, the butterflies come back and I just can't believe it. I'm officially about to work on my first movie, even if it is as a casting director's personal assistant. It doesn't matter, I'm still so excited. Then, when I walk in, the butterflies turn into something else, something more sinister. I feel like I'm going to throw up.
There standing beside my boss and the director is the male lead, in his blue jeans and checkered vans and tee shirt and Gucci aviators. He is still perfection that he was last night and those many years ago by the tree at my school. Fate would have it that I'm wearing my old cowboy boots for the first time since that day, and here he is talking immensely to my boss. I freeze on the spot and before I can turn around and run my boss sees me and calls me over. His ocean blue eyes snap up to meet mine as I am still frozen like a deer in head lights. A smile crosses his lips like he'd forgotten everything else that was going on in his life, and then he says that one simple nickname that I haven't let anyone else call me since that day. I feel like I'm about to melt into a puddle on the floor. That sweet deep soothing voice simply saying the name "Ella."
a/n: okay...i know my chapters are really short, but i'm trying to work on getting them back up to par, my break was...well we'll go with trying. so they'll get longer promise. i really loved the idea of this story and i had a bunch of people ask for me to continue...so i'm continuing it. i'm going to try to get back to my other stories too. my goal is to update all of them by sunday...cross your fingers for me!! oh and i don't own zac...sadly. please review and let me know what you think!