Author's Notes: Wow, I've been working on this chapter for a month now, and it's not even that long, compared to a lot of the other stuff I've written. Shame on me. I apologize for that, I'm apparently of sub par intelligence when it comes to stuff in my classes. Anyway, I'm just going to give fair warning that this chapter borders on...risqué towards the end. That's all. Read, enjoy, review!

--

"Omitsu! Omitsu, I'm sorry, I seriously didn't realize--"

"Goemon, I'll never believe that pathetic excuse. Just...just leave me alone."

Goemon sighed and hung his head despondently as Omitsu quickly walked further ahead. A sad frown was painted on her own face as her mind went over the events that transpired at the bar. An indecipherable barrier in her mind kept her from accepting Goemon's explanation of what was really going on in his mind at the time (which was, according to him, nothing).

Yae walked up behind Goemon and rubbed his shoulder as a friendly gesture. "It's all right, Goemon. Give it some time and I'm sure she'll be back to her normal self." The kunoichi knew she would have to be careful about what she said about the incident, so as to keep Goemon from accusing her of somehow starting this whole mess and ruining his relationship with his oldest friend.

"I don't get it," Goemon said as he started walking in the same direction as Omitsu and Sasuke. Yae moved at exactly the same pace as him at his side. "I don't remember anything that happened before she kicked me. And why was she the one giving me CPR in the first place? I mean, shouldn't it have been you--"

"No! O-Of course not," Yae interjected. "If you're suggesting I...passed the buck or something, you're wrong, Goemon! She, uh, she volunteered to do this. Yeah, that's right! Omitsu practically begged to be the one to save you, heh heh..." All of this was spoken at an accelerated rate that was unusual for her, and Goemon watched with a raised eyebrow as she sped up to join Sasuke and Omitsu.

--

The sun had just risen on the eastern horizon, but Goemon, Sasuke, Yae, and Omitsu were far from being rested and refreshed. They trudged through the town, groaning periodically but saying very little to each other. "Ah! Finally!" Omitsu said suddenly. She turned with Yae and Sasuke to face a wooden building.

Goemon ran up to join them and examined the place his friends were. "Heh, I never thought I'd be so happy to see an inn," he said as a grin crept onto his face. "Let's go inside."

As expected, the lobby was empty except for a middle-aged woman with a thin face sitting behind a desk and flipping through a magazine with a cover that promised the juiciest celebrity gossip on it. Even as the four hopeful guests stepped up to the receptionist, she failed to notice and instead continued reading with her head resting on the hand held up by her propped elbow.

Goemon cleared his throat after waiting and receiving no indication that she had seen any of them. The receptionist looked thoroughly irritated and shifted her gaze from the tabloid to the four strange-looking people in front of her. "Excuse me!" she said rudely. She chewed mechanically on a piece of gum, not even letting speech interrupt the rhythm of her chewing. "Can't you see I'm busy? I'll be with you as soon as I can." She went back to reading while the four people on the other side of the desk looked at each other in confusion.

"What was that about?" Sasuke asked.

"Who knows," Goemon replied with a shrug. "I don't know what that woman's problem is."

"Hey, I heard that!" the receptionist shouted suddenly as she slammed her desk. Several more seconds of complete silence passed before there was a rustling of pages and the receptionist, now smiling widely, put her magazine face down on the desk. "Welcome to the Neo Dragon Hotel, the highest rated hotel in town!"

"THIS is the highest rated hotel in town?" Yae repeated. "I don't know about you guys, but I think I'd rather take my chances with the competition."

"Fortunately for us and unfortunately for you, that's not possible at this time," the lady behind the desk said as her grin widened even further. "The only other inn in town is currently under construction. There was an accident yesterday."

"Accident? What kind of accident?"

"Supposedly, one of the columns that held the second floor of the lobby up fell on top of the innkeeper."

Omitsu gasped. "Oh my, how terrible! I hope he's all right..."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, you can stay here or you can sleep on the streets. It's totally up to you." The receptionist rubbed her forehead as she perused her magazine once again, keeping it open on the desk this time so her face wouldn't be hidden.

"Well, I guess we don't have much of a choice, do we?" Goemon said as he looked around at his companions. "All right, we'll take two Silver level rooms. How much is that?" He took out and opened his money pouch.

"Two Silver Rooms, let's see..." The receptionist tapped her fingers on the desk and looked up towards the ceiling in thought. "I think 800 ryo should just about cover it."

"Y-You think?! And 800 ryo?! What kind of crap are you trying to pull, you thieving--!" Omitsu and Yae had to hold Goemon back with all their strength to keep him from diving over the desk and strangling the woman behind it.

"Just calm down, it's not worth getting so upset about, Goemon!" Yae hissed.

"Seriously! You've really gotta learn to control your temper," Omitsu added.

"Have you calmed down, sir?" the receptionist asked. Breathing heavily, Goemon nodded after a delay of several seconds. She grinned widely before continuing. "Very good. Now, as I said before, this is the only remaining inn in town and we've got comfortable beds and 24-hour check-in. Again, there's also the opportunity of roughing it on the streets, but I promise you you're not gonna find any other type of lodging for miles. So you can do that, or you can pay whatever I say to stay here. It's called a monopoly."

While Goemon silently attempted to repeat the word "monopoly," Yae gave a response on behalf of the team. "Yeah, you win. We'll stay here."

"Great," replied a much more cheerful receptionist. "But because of that little outburst earlier, I'm afraid I have to charge you an extra 10 ryo per room. Sorry, it's company policy," she said with a shrug, though her grin never showed any sign of leaving her face.

"820 ryo..." Goemon gasped. He turned back to his friends. "Well? Aren't you guys gonna help me out here?"

--

Goemon sat on the edge of his bed, his arms crossed and an irritated frown across his face. Though his eyelids were heavy, his furious mind wouldn't let him sleep or even lie still.

"The nerve of that, that...bitch!" he shouted. He looked at Sasuke, sitting against a wall with his hands situated at the bottom of his head, for support. He cleared his throat after waiting about three seconds for a response.

"Huh? Oh, of course. It's horrible that we were cheated like this." Sasuke went back to working on his head.

"I mean, I don't care if there's a...a "monopahry" or whatever the hell it's called. She's got no right to gouge us like that, right Sasuke? Sasuke?" The clockwork ninja was still slouched against the wall, now headless in what Goemon knew was his way of sleeping. "Aw, you're no fun." And Goemon finally lay down and made an attempt to sleep.

--

"Yae...Yae, are you still awake?"

The kunoichi sighed and rolled over so that she was facing Omitsu's bed. "Yeah, I'm awake. What's up, Omitsu?"

"I can't sleep," Omitsu replied with a yawn. "See, I definitely feel tired. But no matter how hard I try I just can't fall asleep."

"What's wrong, Omitsu? Are you anxious about something?" Even as Yae asked the question, she could feel her own eyelids closing shut.

"Well, sort of." Omitsu shifted in her bed. "I'm...I'm worried about Ebisumaru. Yeah, that's probably what I'm so upset about."

"Ebisumaru? Ha, Omitsu, I don't think you have to worry about him. In fact, I'm almost certain he's not the one that's keeping you up."

"Wh-What are you talking about? Of course he is! I mean, nobody's seen any sign of him since we got here. And...he's, uh, he's an old friend..." Omitsu rolled onto her back and turned her head away from Yae.

"Omitsu, I'm sure Ebisumaru is fine. He entered that portal even before Sasuke and I did. So I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're actually thinking about someone else, a much older friend..."

Omitsu squeaked before covering her mouth with her hand and turning her back completely to Yae. "Wow, it's really late...We should probably be sleeping instead of sitting up all night and talking like this. Good night, Yae." She closed her eyes tightly in a forced attempt to fall asleep.

"Right...Well, if you can still hear me, you should listen to what I'm telling you. I know you and Goemon are great friends, I've watched the both of you ever since I've known you. And I just wanted to say that you shouldn't let this stupid incident end all of that. We can't afford to have any division in the group, but more importantly, I think you two care about each other a lot more than either of you are willing to admit. It's just a hunch, but...but I really think I'm right. And since Goemon's too dense to figure it out on his own...well, I think you know what I'm getting at here." There was silence for a few seconds, and then "Anyway, I hope you take this to heart. Goemon deserves to know how you really feel, and not to be shunned by his oldest friend like this. Good night, Omitsu."

--

It was the middle of the afternoon when the four of them checked out, and the streets were now bustling with pedestrians going every which way, always in a hurry and never paying much attention to Goemon and his friends or anyone else around them. Of course, this was preferable to receiving suspicious stares as they passed, so nobody in the group complained about this aloofness.

"Um, I really hate to bring this up, but..." Omitsu hesitated as she contemplated the potential consequences of finishing her thought. "Does anybody know where we're going?"

Goemon and the others had been walking ever since leaving the inn, towards no place in particular but in the same direction they had been traveling earlier. "O-Of course I know where we're going, Omitsu," Goemon answered. "We're, um...Ah, we're going to find Bismaru! That's right, he's probably with Jurokubei right now."

"Oh, I see." There was another slight pause as they all continued walking. "Um, are you sure this is the right way?"

"I...All right, so I'm not 100 sure we're going in the right direction, but at least I know where we'll end up. Don't worry, something usually comes along that tells us what to do next." Yae rolled her eyes when she realized that Goemon was resorting to this lazy way of adventuring again.

The group continued their march through the town, but stopped suddenly in front of a gray building from which several pleasant aromas emanated. But it wasn't the delightful smells that halted them. It was a voice. "Nyohohoho, yes, that's it..."

"I'd know that chuckle anywhere," Goemon said as he quickly turned and entered the building. "Oi! Ebisumaru! Let's go!"

The others followed him inside and looked around to see a lobby with an oak desk in the middle and four rooms blocked off by semitransparent curtains in the back. Behind one of them was the silhouette of a tall, thin woman standing over an elevated blob, her hands buried inside and thus hidden from view from the ninjas' perspective. A content, nasally sigh was heard from the other side of the curtain.

Growing frustrated with waiting, Goemon stomped towards the curtain while the others slowly and unenthusiastically followed him. "Didn't you hear me, Ebisumaru?" he shouted as he threw the curtain open. "Whoa, what the--!"

The tall woman was actually an intricately designed robot, a bit taller than Goemon and his friends and with a face that was white with several rows of blue slits that traveled horizontally across its face from the forehead to somewhere between where its nose and mouth would have been if it had any. The body started out thin and widened out as it went down to form a metallic skirt with a small set of wheels down below. It didn't seem to notice the four people who had just entered, but continued kneading deep into the shirtless Ebisumaru's back. The Ninja of Justice's clothing, undergarments included, lay in a heap in the corner. "Damn it, I was really hoping the masseuse would be hot..." Goemon thought to himself.

"Oh, is that you, Goemon?" Ebisumaru said quietly as he slowly lifted his head. He had a creamy white mask on his face and yellow cucumber slices over his eyes. "I didn't hear you come in, I've just been enjoying myself too much. This is really heavenly..."

"I, I really don't care about that, we don't have anymore time to waste. Just end this massage and get ready to go."

"Aww, but Goemon..."

Knowing his friend better than anybody else, Goemon could already guess what he was about to say. "The answer is no, Ebisumaru. You can't stay any longer, not even five more minutes."

"Fine, fine..." Ebisumaru whined. "Let's see, now how do you do this?" He reached over and hit a few buttons on the panel at the robotic masseuse's waist, at which point its arms retracted into its shoulders and a panel opened in its chest. There was a digital display with three red lines that went round and round three black sections of the display before settling on a specific shape: a 6, then a 0, and finally another 0.

There was a whirring sound before a soft, feminine voice with a metallic quality spoke, slowly and disjointedly. "Your total is 600 ryo."

"6...600 ryo?!" Goemon gasped. "What kind of an outrageous rate are they charging at this place?!"

"Our rate is 50 ryo per hour," the same voice replied, as calm as before.

"50 ryo per hour?" Goemon repeated. "That doesn't sound so bad. How long have you been here anyway, Ebisumaru?"

"12 hours," replied Sasuke, Yae, and Omitsu at the same time.

"Right...Well, anyway, just pay for the stupid massage so we can get out of here." Goemon turned around after he said this only to find that a steel gate had come down over the curtain. "What the--?! Don't tell me we're stuck in here!"

"Oh yeah, I should've mentioned that earlier..." Ebisumaru said as he started getting up. Fortunately, loud protestations from the rest of the group stopped him from going too far. "They told me before I started that I wouldn't be allowed to leave this room after I told the robot to stop until I paid. And that I would have ten minutes after stopping before they send security down here to make me pay. I think I've got about 400 ryo in my wallet, so you shouldn't have to pay too much." He grinned after saying the last statement.

Goemon's hand flew up to his forehead as he groaned loudly. "I should've known...All right, where's your wallet, Ebisumaru?"

"It should be somewhere in that pile of clothes." Ebisumaru pointed to his clothing bunched up in the corner. "Maybe around the underwear or the socks."

"Urk!" Goemon stopped suddenly halfway there. "Umm...Say, do you guys have enough money to cover the bill? Sasuke? Yae? Omitsu?"

"Are you kidding?!" Yae responded. "After we spent all that money at the inn, how could you possibly expect us to have enough to pay for this too? I'd be surprised if we've got enough to cover whatever Ebisumaru doesn't have."

There was a pause. "You should look, Yae," Goemon said finally. "You were always better at that sort of thing than me."

"This is no time to be scared of some underwear, Goemon!" Yae shouted back at him. "Just take a deep breath and look!"

"You know, come to think of it, maybe we should wait for those security people to get here. I mean, they'll probably help us out, and if worse comes to worse I'm sure they'll be easy enough to get past--"

"Goemon, you can't possibly be serious!" Omitsu retorted. "This isn't the time to fight, just reach in there quickly and get the money!"

"Don't worry, Goemon. I'll get it." Ebisumaru pushed himself up off the slab he was lying on, but plopped back down when his friends shouted to stop him.

"Ugh, fine, fine," Goemon complained. He pinched his nose shut with two fingers and used his other hand to feel around Ebisumaru's clothes for a lump that could have been a wallet or purse. "Ah! I think I've got it!" He threw aside the kerchief that Ebisumaru usually wore over his head and his blue gi, only to see some large, mostly white underwear staring up at him from the floor. Even with his nose shut as tightly as he could manage, the putrid odor somehow managed to sneak past his closed fingers and penetrate his nostrils.

"All right...For the good of the team." With this thought, he moved Ebisumaru's underwear aside and saw the small pouch that usually housed what little money he carried around with him. Goemon hoped for his own sake that Ebisumaru had decided to be more prudent than usual on this occasion and actually carry a decent amount of money. He picked it up; it felt rather light for a pouch that supposedly held 400 ryo. "Well, let's see what we've got in here..." Goemon opened the pouch and nearly dropped it as he slapped his own forehead in frustration. There was, at most, 200 ryo in there. "I should have known..." he grumbled as he turned towards his friends and held out a begging hand.

--

The silken banners and ornate columns that lined and stood watch on the outside of the grand and majestic building were the first things one would have seen as they approached the palace of The Great Jurokubei, Supreme Ruler of...well, just about everything he could claim ownership of. Of course, the garish decorations would have been the only thing one would have seen unless they were able to get past the security bots that patrolled the halls.

But, if one were somehow able to infiltrate the building, they would most likely follow the sounds of moans and giggles through the convoluted hallways that would eventually lead them to an arched entryway from which light, semitransparent silk curtains hung down. These would prove to be more effective deterrents than the strongest steel bars, for the sight of what lay on the other side would be enough to cause almost anybody to turn and run.

Two people lay in a bed against one of the side walls of the room, completely naked and wrapped in each others' arms. The woman was young, very slender and with black hair that went down to her chest while her bangs caressed both her closed eyelids and the chest of the man next to her. "Oh, Lord Jurokubei...You are amazing..." she whispered.

Jurokubei, tall and muscular, with tanned skin and long, red hair, smiled and stroked the cheek of the woman. "Of course. I always take good care of my 'employees,' " he said proudly. This promise was one of the many things that attracted so many women to this place in the first place. Their job description was simple enough: do anything demanded of them that would physically please Jurokubei. In return, they would receive food and lodgings of the highest quality, which was all most of them needed to be happy (along with their boss, of course).

The girl sighed happily and nuzzled Jurokubei's bare chest for a moment before there was a loud beeping sound from an end table next to the bed. Both of them jumped at the sudden noise, and Jurokubei rolled over and pushed a button on the ringing phone, grumbling the entire time. "What is it?" he shouted. "I thought I told you not to interrupt me during my meetings."

"Lord Jurokubei, there's a very strange, fat man dressed as a nun here asking to see you," a robotic voice responded. "He says it's urgent, and that he has a gift for you."

Another voice on the other end was clearly outraged by this description. "Strange? Fat? Man?! Now see here, Sister Bismaru is a wonderful, beautiful wo--" Jurokubei pushed the button again to cut him (or her) off.

Jurokubei then threw off his side of the blanket, sat up slowly and swung his legs over, placing his feet firmly on the floor and rubbing his forehead. "Wait here, I'll be right back," he said as he stood up and walked to the pile of clothes in the corner.

"Aww, but Boss..." The girl sat up, intentionally neglecting to cover her chest and stomach with the sheet.

"I have to go remind a certain stupid pest why he's no longer welcome here. It won't take long."

"But what man could possibly be more important to you than me right now? Just five more minutes. Please?" she whined, sticking her lower lip out for added irresistibility.

"Believe me, this will only take five minutes. I definitely wouldn't want to stay away from this longer than absolutely necessary." Fully dressed, Jurokubei leaned in and gave the girl a quick peck on the lips. "Just wait here for me to return, okay?" He gave her breast a quick squeeze, at which point the girl squealed, before turning and exiting the room.

--

Bismaru paced back and forth just outside of Jurokubei's infamous harem. It hadn't been that long since they had last seen each other; but now, thanks to this thoughtful gesture on his part, Bismaru was sure Jurokubei would welcome him back with open arms. If not...well, there was always Plan B.

Finally, Jurokubei emerged from the entrance, looking thoroughly irritated but still as handsome as ever in Bismaru's eyes. "All hail the Great Lord Jurokubei," Bismaru called out, going into a deep bow. None of the robots surrounding him joined him in this gesture.

"Leave us," Jurokubei said. The robots, large blue ones with claws and lasers equipped on the front, marched past their master and into the palace. "Stand up, Bismaru," he ordered his former servant.

"Hmm?" Bismaru did as he was commanded, only to feel the back of Jurokubei's hand fly across his cheek and send him spinning back onto the floor with a whimper and a moan. "Please, Lord Jurokubei, have mercy--"

"I'll be blunt. I have no need for the likes of you here or anywhere, you pathetic rat," Jurokubei snarled. "And how dare you interrupt me during a meeting with one of my favorite employees!"

"But, Lord Jurokubei, I've changed my ways, and I even brought a present for your greatness. Behold!" He motioned towards a large curtain that was draped over several sizable lumps next to his signature ship.

"I don't want that tacky thing you call a ship, if that's what you're offering," Jurokubei moaned, rolling his eyes as he remembered just how frustrating dealing with Bismaru really was.

"What? No, no, I'm not offering you the Bismaru Pod, sir. Though, if it will be enough to earn your love..." Bismaru leaned in and batted his eyelashes flirtatiously.

"Just show me what's under the blanket, you idiot."

"R-Right away, Lord Jurokubei." The short, pudgy nun clutched at one corner of the blanket and pulled on it with all his strength. A small smile crept onto Jurokubei's face when he saw what was waiting for him. "I can see by the expression on your face that my honored Lord is quite pleased with this gift. A dozen of the most beautiful women of the Edo period!"

"Hmm, indeed, very nice..." Jurokubei mused as he walked between the cages of women before him.

"I even got the lovely Omitsu for you," Bismaru said with a grin. "Remember her?"

"Oh, I remember her. But I don't see her."

"What?! But...But how can that be?" Bismaru wove his way through the cages as he searched frantically for the waitress.

"It figures you would screw this up, you moron," Jurokubei muttered as he rubbed his furrowed brow. "Anyway, I still want you out of my sight. Leave the girls and get out."

"B-B-B-B-But, Lord Jurokubei...I want you!" Bismaru shouted.

"Well, now I really don't want you around. Why don't you just make like a tree and get the hell out of here?" With that, Jurokubei turned his back to the nun and began making his way back inside. He didn't get far, however, before Bismaru leapt off the floor and put a strange, metallic helmet on his former master's head.