Disclaimer: Kenshin does not own the Yuu Yuu Hakusho characters (they are the property of Togashi Yoshihiro et al), and does not make any money from said characters. Don't sue.
What Kenshin does own, however, are all the original characters in this work. Any attempt to "borrow" these characters will be met with the katana, or worse.
The events in Idiot Beloved take place shortly after the Dark Tournament; it sequel Firebird Sweet directly follows that timeline, and this particular sidefic occurs a few years later.
Title: Death by Hiei C6: (Hello Central, Give Me No-Man's-Land)
Author: JaganshiKenshin
Genre: Action/Adventure, Humor
Rating: T
Summary: The aftermath of Hiei's new attack leaves him helpless---but there are still a couple of surprises in store.
A/N: Using Kurama as a first-person, viewpoint character, continues to prove irresistible. And the fox-boy gets more than his share of troubles in this concluding chapter.
See my accompanying sketches on LJ, and as always, thanks to my faithful few---please keep reading and reviewing! ^^
"I wonder where he keeps that thing..."
Death by Hiei (C6: Hello Central? Give Me No-Man's-Land)
by
Kenshin
The air was gradually becoming warmer, and not just from the aftermath of Hiei's astounding attack. There was a sense here, in the arena of sand, that even the atmosphere found it safe to return to a semblance of normalcy. As I glanced up, the sky once again lightened to an unrelieved dove-gray.
Then I looked down at Hiei's still form.
From what I know of weaponry, any weapon which requires its wielder to stand within the strike zone, subject to its destructive powers, is highly unusual.
Even the most offensive weapons are designed to protect the user: they radiate. The Dragon, for example, or my Rose Whip, or Shayla Kidd's Beretta. Yuusuke is never within the line of fire from his own Rei Gun. And a sword, such as Kuwabara's Rei-ken or Hiei's run-of-the-mill katana, creates a fair defensive perimeter, the swordsman protected within. The sword does not turn and strike at its master.
So with Hiei sprawled on the ground as if dead (even though his sword had obliterated Bui with brutal efficiency), I had to wonder at this attack's ultimate sustainability.
Another horn-blast sounded. Everything hit me at once. My legs gave way. I crashed to my knees on the lake of black glass.
The cavalry had come---and Urameshi Yuusuke was at the wheel.
In a Toyota Landcruiser, to be exact, its soft top down, the body gleaming an improbable, candy-sparkle pink. Riding shotgun was Kuwabara Kazuma, and they had managed to retrieve Shay-san as well: goggles still up on her head, she huddled in the back seat.
Yuusuke slung the car sideways. Spraying sand and pebbles, it skidded to a halt just outside the lake of black glass.
"Yo, Kurama!" Yuusuke gave a cheerful wave; reading his lips barely enabled me to discern his words, for I was all but deaf to any sound quieter than a jet engine at takeoff. "Somebody call for the meat wagon?"
Wearing his patented grin, Kuwabara jumped out and pointed at Hiei. "Need a hand with that pile of rags?"
I nodded. Kuwabara shrugged off his leather jacket, flung it over Hiei. Bending, he grunted once, then cleaned and jerked the semi-conscious fire demon.
With Hiei slung over one shoulder like a sack of grain, Kuwabara grimaced, dabbed at his sweaty brow with a hand the size of a haddock. "Whoa, what's he been eatin'? Bowling balls?"
"Guess we're too late to see that sword of his in action?" Yuusuke hopped out of the car, cranking his head all around.
"What d'you think?" Kuwabara trudged back to the vehicle, still carrying Hiei. "This guy's unconscious, there's a big black pool of melted sand, and no one else is left alive."
"I am," I mouthed.
"You got a point there, Kuwabara," sighed Yuusuke. "Would've been fun to watch, though."
No, it wouldn't, I retorted silently.
When we reached the car, Kuwabara unceremoniously shoved Hiei into the back seat next to my sister-become, and I got in, only to have Hiei flop onto my shoulder, boneless as an eel.
Then I felt a tug at my vest. I looked down. The little gray jaki Shay-san had adopted was along for the ride, too, and engaged in a vigorous search of my pockets, sniffing for food.
I might have known.
"What happened to your face?" Adjusting the rear-view mirror, Yuusuke raised a questioning eyebrow. My exposed skin, too, bore signs of a sunburn similar to Hiei's.
"Not to look gift horses in the mouth," I countered, as Hiei slid off the seat, legs-first, "but where did you get this vehicle?" Latching on to Kuwabara's borrowed jacket, I pulled Hiei back up.
Kuwabara cast us a sour glance in the rear-view mirror. "That jacket better not pick up any Hiei cooties!"
On Hiei's other side, Shay-san bit down hard on her worse reply. All she said was, "You're lucky he's still unconscious."
Hiei twitched, muttering, "Hand me that knife, would you?"
"Kyaaaaaaa!" Kuwabara gave a pronounced shiver. "I take it back, man. You get all the cooties you want on my jacket."
"Don't worry," I said. "I'm certain Hiei's only talking in his sleep."
Kuwabara sighed, relaxing visibly.
"Or almost certain," I added. Kuwabara flinched again.
The jaki, finding nothing to eat in my pockets, scrambled onto Shay-san's shoulder. "What a good little jaki," she said absently, scratching behind its ears until it dissolved into shivers of ecstasy.
Yuusuke clicked the key into the ignition, turned it, and the car roared to life. With a hideous grinding of gears, we were off.
"Hey, Urameshi!" pleaded Kuwabara. "Lemme drive, willya?"
"No way, Kuwabara---Genkai entrusted the keys to me."
"I was standin' right there when you grabbed 'em outta her hand," Kuwabara retorted.
"Do either of you have a license?" Shay-san squinted suspiciously. The jaki, woozy from petting, staggered from her shoulder, climbed into my vest pocket, and promptly fell asleep.
"C'mon, Urameshi, pull over." Kuwabara gave him an elbow; the Landcruiser veered hard right. "No fair hoggin' the wheel!"
"Who's hogging?" said Yuusuke. "I call this driving."
I, however, did not. The candy-pink car bounced and joggled so that Hiei slid to the floor again. Shay-san and I righted him. They were the only licensed drivers---and with Hiei unconscious and Shay-san's wrist in a sling, neither was about to relieve Yuusuke at the wheel.
Yuusuke hurled the Landcruiser straight for a jutting rock at the edge of the sand pit. "That's ten points!" he crowed. I felt the impact all the way up my spine. Hiei slid onto Shay-san's lap. The jaki stirred in its sleep and nipped me right through my shirt.
"It's going to be a long trip," sighed Shayla Kidd, voicing my sentiments exactly.
0-0-0-0-0
Eventually, Yuusuke and Kuwabara dropped us back at Hiei's home, more or less in one piece. Then they spun off again, whether to go joy-riding or to return Genkai her wheels, they did not specify.
By that time, I'd had enough of the jaki's dubious companionship, and deposited it in the foundation plantings.
And also by that time, Hiei seemed to have regained his normal weight. When we finally wrestled him inside, we dumped his semi-conscious form in a cold tub, clothes and all.
Shay-san explained that this procedure was per Hiei's instructions---and I realized that I had seen the after-effects of Sword of the Archangel once before, when Hiei had returned alive from battling White Sands Serpent.
Huddling beside the tub until Hiei's sight and hearing returned, we mostly passed the time blinking at one another and shouting, "Can you hear me yet?" "No. Can you?"
At least after shooting the Dragon, Hiei can hold off sleep for a while. But an attack that instantly renders one deaf, blind and comatose has its drawbacks. An enemy detail could hide away, just far enough to escape the strike zone, waiting for that telltale flash, and after it died down, finish Hiei off.
The flush on Hiei's skin faded quickly enough. While we both kept half an eye on him lest he sink into the tub and drown, I tended Shay-san's scrapes and bruises, and her injured wrist.
My mind was already racing, working on more elegant solutions to the effects of the Sword of the Archangel than mere goggles and earmuffs.
All futile, given my inability to retrieve the sword.
Every now and then Hiei roused himself enough to cast a bleary red glare our way, and Shay-san leaned over the tub to administer him some eye drops.
Knowing she couldn't hear me, I muttered, "Even that won't get the red out." I added, in a louder voice, "Tell Hiei I think this new attack of his needs work."
There was a wicked little gold glint in her eye when she turned to me. "Fine. I'll also tell Hiei what you called him back then on the rock."
"And that would be...?"
"'Dearest friend,' I believe it was."
"I recall nothing of the sort."
"Men." But she smiled at me.
"Not men. Demons."
She shrugged. "There's a difference?"
0-0-0-0-0
The next day, with all of us more or less recovered, my mother and stepfather were on their way to Hiei's house, Michael and Cecilia in tow. I had arrived earlier---to my regret.
Hiei dragged me out into the yard, where the jaki hopped up to him, and he unloaded a rain of crackers upon its head. But before he could say anything, I interrupted. "I'm truly sorry."
Peering intently at me, Hiei raised an eyebrow. "What for?"
"Back in the park, I couldn't apprehend the gunman. And now--" I turned my head away.
"What?"
The day was warm, humid. I could smell the rich scent of leaf mould, and feel the pleasant, filtered sun burnish my cheek. I turned back. "And now, I was unable to recover your sword."
To my surprise, Hiei laughed. "It's still with me."
"Where?" I glanced around the yard.
Hiei did not elaborate on the sword's location. However, with the perpetually hungry jaki at his feet gorging itself on crackers, and my face heating up---not from the sun this time--- Hiei proceeded to berate me for a solid quarter-hour regarding my failure to get Shay-san out of the way in time to prevent a broken wrist.
Then, he thanked me for getting her out of the way at all.
Lastly, he made it clear in no uncertain terms what would happen to me if I pulled "a stunt like that again."
My ears were still burning when Kaasan and my stepfather Hatanaka Tsugi returned with the twins.
Shortly afterward, Yuusuke and Kuwabara joined us, and we all sat at the table, surrounded by a bounty of take-out food courtesy of Hatanaka-san. This spread included gyoza of every description, tuna rolls, tako yaki, and assorted curries.
"Hey, Michael!" Yuusuke winked at the little boy. "Want your Uncle Yuusuke to teach you how to drive?"
Michael favored Yuusuke with one of his rare smiles.
"It's times like these I'm grateful we don't have a car," murmured Shay-san.
"So Bui's history?" Yuusuke reached for the octopus dumplings. "What a waste of talent. That guy was strong."
"Yeah." Kuwabara spoke around a mouthful of tuna roll. "Bui coulda come over from the dark side---like Hiei."
"Think so?" Yuusuke narrowed his eyes, as if trying to picture Team Urameshi with Bui on the bench.
"On second thought maybe not," Kuwabara added. "Hiei hadda be beaten into behaving himself by you."
"True enough." Yuusuke turned to study Hiei. "Y'know, for a guy who wins most of his fights, Hiei sure ends up lying on his back with his mouth open a lot."
Hiei continued forking up beef curry, oblivious to insults, displaying a serenity I would have thought impossible---until I realized he was probably still 90 percent deaf.
Shay-san picked delicately at her food as best she could with her splinted wrist, while Kaasan watched us all with much amusement, and Hatanaka-san pretended not to hear.
I decided to take advantage of the situation. "Don't bolt your food," I lectured Hiei. "You're not a teenager any more."
Hiei ignoring me, leaving me free to ply him with insults. Otousan going a little pink around the ears, as he always does whenever talk turns to our 'profession.' And Kaasan giggling at everyone, trying to hide her merriment behind one of her dear, scarred hands.
Life was good.
Later, in the living room over coffee, Shay-san bemoaned the fact that we hadn't discovered how Bui came to dwell in Genkai's foothills. Had he opened a hole in the barrier protecting Ningenkai from Makai, or had he remained on the island after the Dark Tournament, somehow making his way to the mainland?
"I don't imagine we'll ever know," I said. "But that chapter of Hiei's life seems to have ended well enough."
Hiei shrugged. "The past always comes back to bite you in the---" He stopped himself, glancing at Michael and Cecilia.
Kaasan rose, extending both hands to the little ones: "How would you like to come outside and play with Baachan?"
Hatanaka-san rose as well. "And Jiichan!" He beamed. "Don't forget Jiichan!"
The little ones most enthusiastically would. And then Yuusuke and Kuwabara took their leave as well, Yuusuke saying, "Gotta get the Landcruiser back to Genkai before she calls the cops on us."
We three remaining souls waited for them to head out. When they had gone, Hiei pulled That Phone from his pocket---the discourteous one which had refused to call for help back in the park. "I have to file my report anyway." Clicking it open, he gave it a directive: "Get me Rome, please."
"Get it yourself," grumbled the phone.
In the next instant, the phone flared up, leaving nothing but ash in Hiei's palm. "Oops," he sighed. "My hand slipped."
Shay-san was laughing so hard she slid off the sofa.
Then Hiei turned to me, making sure he had my full attention, and gave me the sweetest smile. It sent shudders of ice through my veins. That smile said: What happened to this phone could just as easily happen to you.
I do not believe Hiei really meant he will immolate me the next time I fail to do exactly as he says. I'm told the Vatican frowns on the wholesale slaughter of dearest friends. Still. He is Hiei.
I wonder where he keeps that sword.
0-0-0-0-0
(A/N: Thanks for reading through to the end! This concludes Death By Hiei.
The motif of the Hero's Sword is something I first explored in Idiot Beloved and it continues here, detailing the progression in both the sword's power and potential backlash. Portrait of the Demon is its corollary tale; please scroll down for a preview of that story's conclusion.)
0-0-0-0-0
"Then..." wondered Shizuru, "this isn't a dream?"
"No," said Hiei. It's quite real. And I know you're scared."
"I'm not." She tried getting another cigarette out of her pack, but her hands were still clumsy. "Skip it. I ought to cut down anyway."
"You cutting down? Now I know you're rattled."
"Nice try."
"Come off it. You've been living in Honshu, and you haven't seen me face-to-face in fifteen years. You don't know who I am or what I've become and you just watched me drift from the shadows to obliterate something the size of a city block with a single flick of my finger." He paused. "I'd be scared, too."
"I'm not scared," she repeated. "Well, not much."
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