A/N: I hope everyone had a happy holiday! Last chapter of 2005! It's a nice long one for you...as always, enjoy, and please review! Happy new year! Many thanks to Sanity Fair and Katie for reviewing the last chapter. Glad you guys approved of my visitor...I know people have been clamoring to see more of the Sunnydale gang. Faith isn't probably exactly who you expected, but I think you'll enjoy it. :)

> > > > >

Chapter 14: Similarities and Differences

Dawn stared at the brunette slayer in surprise, not sure what to say. "Faith, wow, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry for randomly showing up...I just got to town and I figured I'd may as well just swing by." Faith glanced over Dawn's shoulder into the apartment. "Your sister home?"

"No," Dawn said. "She's at work. She'll be home soon." She realized that she should probably invite her in. "Come in." She stepped back, opening the door wide. As Faith entered, she noticed for the first time that she was carrying a small duffel bag. "So what brings you to Rome? Kind of a long way from New York. Is it slayer business?"

Faith slowly walked into the living room of the apartment, taking in the surroundings. "Nice place you've got here," she said, completely avoiding the question.

Dawn frowned. Something was off. Faith seemed more...timid than usual. The old Faith never would have waited for you to invite her in before making herself at home. She thought for a second. "Is Principal Wood- I mean, Robin here in Rome, too?"

Faith paused near the window, her face turned away from Dawn's as she stared out the window into the dark night. "Robin's dead."

Dawn felt her breath catch in her throat as she took in that news. "Oh my God..." she suddenly felt a wave of sympathy for Faith. "I'm really sorry." Faith nodded in silent thanks. Dawn hesitated, unsure of what she should do now. "What happened?" she asked, against her better judgement. "Was it..."

"Vampires. We were fighting a group of them in New York. I thought he had it under control. Robin could always handle himself, ya know. I didn't think he needed help..." she turned around to face Dawn, failing at hiding the pain in her eyes. "And then the next thing I knew..." she paused. "I guess one of them must have come up from behind and..." her voice trailed off.

"It's not your fault," Dawn said firmly. "It sounds like it was an accident."

Faith let out an odd laugh, the loudest sound she had made since her arrival. "Sure. Whatever you wanna call it."

Things began to make sense. "So, you just here in Rome to get away?" Dawn prodded.

Faith shrugged. Something came over her face, possibly embarrassment. "I didn't really see the point of staying. For the city that never sleeps, there really isn't that much vamp activity. I didn't feel like going to England to deal with a million adolescent girls with superpowers, so I thought I'd swing by and see if B needed any help. You know, with the slaying."

She was lonely, Dawn thought. And after all they've been through, Buffy's the closest thing to a friend she has. "Well I'm sure Buffy wouldn't mind if you stayed here with us for a few days. If you don't mind the couch."

Faith started to shake her head. "I can get my own place, plus it must be a little crowded here, with you, big sis, and Angel junior...where is Connor?"

Dawn felt as if Faith had physically punched her when she spoke his name. "Connor's not here," she managed to croak out. "He...left." Well actually, I kicked him out. Same difference.

Faith stared at her in confusion until realization dawned on her. She straightened. "Wait a second...you don't mean that you two..."

"He cheated," Dawn said, wrapping her arms around herself in a protective gesture. "It's kind of a long story and I'd rather not go into it right now."

Now it was Faith's turn to look at Dawn in sympathy. "Wow. Sorry. I thought you guys were going for the whole white picket fence thing."

"Me too," Dawn admitted, sitting back down on the couch. "You know, I think I might have been able to forgive him if he'd just told me right away. But no, that would have been much too easy. Instead he had to wait a month for me to find out from the girl." She wasn't quite sure why she had just shared that, but it felt better than keeping it all in.

"Men. Why do they have to be so damn heroic," Faith said, sitting next to Dawn.

"And stubborn," Dawn added. "I'm starting to think that maybe Willow had the right idea." Faith laughed at that. The two of them sat there in silence for a few moments.

"Well, if you want me to go find Connor and teach him a lesson, could be great anger management. Or for even more fun we could go pay this ho he cheated with a visit," Faith said with a mean smile.

"Believe me, that sounds very appealing. But I really don't think it's the answer," Dawn said regretfully.

"But it could still be fun," Faith pointed out.

Now it was Dawn's turn to let out a pathetic little laugh. "Can't argue with you there." There was another moment of silence, but it wasn't awkward silence. Dawn and Faith had never been close, had never even really liked each other, but they had bonded a little during the end of their time in Sunnydale and right now they had more in common than either of them had ever thought they would.

"Do you mind if I use your shower?" Faith asked suddenly. "It was a long flight."

"Sure, its right through there," Dawn said, pointing to the bathroom.

"Thanks," Faith said, picking up her bag. She headed into the bathroom and closed the door. When she was alone again Dawn didn't turn the tv back on. Instead she just sat there, deep in thought about Faith. It was obvious that Robin's death had affected her more than she was letting on. If she had felt lonely enough to hop a plane to the other side of the world to show up unexpected at the apartment of the girl who had once put her in a coma, things had to be pretty bad.

Maybe she came at just the right time. Maybe we can help each other, Dawn thought optimistically. At that moment a key turned in the door, interrupting her thoughts. Buffy entered, carrying a pizza box in one hand. "Dawnie, hey. I couldn't stay at work, I was too worried about you, so I left early. And I grabbed some comfort food." She stopped in her tracks halfway to the couch, frowning. "Is the shower running?" Her eyes suddenly widened. "Wait, that's not...you aren't..."

"No. Nothing like that. Actually, believe it or not, its Faith," Dawn said, rising to her feet. "She showed up here a few minutes ago." She moved so she was in front of her sister. "Buffy, Robin's dead."

Shock, followed by sadness became evident on her sister's face. She didn't say anything, just closed her eyes for a second as she set the forgotten pizza down on the counter. Dawn decided to continue. "I couldn't get her to tell me much, but it sounds like she feels responsible. They were fighting, and she thought he had it under control when a vamp surprised him."

Buffy rubbed her forehead. "She really cared about him. I could tell then, and I'm sure they only got closer over the past few months."

"I know. And she would never admit this, but I think she came here because, well, she didn't know where else to go. She's lonely," Dawn said, having no trouble relating.

Buffy appeared to be thinking. "Well, she can stay here with us as long as she wants. It might be nice having someone else around, to keep your mind off of..." she didn't bother saying it.

Dawn nodded quickly. "Yeah." She noticed that the shower had stopped. A few seconds later Faith emerged, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt presumably from her bag, drying her hair with a towel. She immediately noticed Buffy standing there and nodded in her direction.

"Hey B. Good to see you," she said sincerely.

Buffy gave her a smile. "Hi Faith. Dawn told me what happened...I'm sorry. Robin was a really good guy."

"One of the best," Faith said in quiet agreement. Her eyes darted around, seemingly looking for some quick excuse to change the subject. They fell upon the pizza box on the counter and seemed to light up. "Hey, is anyone gonna eat that? The food on the flight was totally not edible." She made a beeline for the kitchen before she got a response. Buffy and Dawn exchanged wry looks. This was the Faith they remembered.

> > > > >

"So other than this chick Gina, not much in the line of newbie slayers?" Faith said conversationally as she started in on her fourth slice of pizza.

Buffy shook her head sheepishly. "And to be honest, we found Gina kind of accidentally...Dawn saw an article in the paper about a girl who fought off a group of vampires on one of our first days here. Well, it didn't say vampires, but you know. I feel kind of bad that I haven't been looking harder for more girls. Its just been a little crazy, first it was finding the apartment, then it was finding work. Now Dawn's in school, and we've just been spending most of our time getting our own lives in order."

"Don't worry about it. You did enough. You were the slayer for years, you deserve a little vacation time," Faith insisted.

Buffy gave her a little smile. It was strange...she and Faith had a very messy history, and things were never going to be quite normal between them. But she knew they had an understanding now, and she couldn't deny that Faith probably understood her better than most people, considering that they were both slayers.

Dawn finished her pizza and her eyes wandered to the clock. She was initially surprised when she saw that it was after eleven pm. But when she thought back to how different her life had been only fifteen hours earlier, it seemed like a month had passed since that morning. She realized all of a sudden that she was very tired. She cleared her throat to get her sister's attention. "I think I'm gonna go to bed now. I'm pretty beat."

Buffy nodded quickly, the concern and sympathy from before returning to her eyes. "Yes, you've had a...long day. And you have school tomorrow," she added without thinking.

"No I don't," Dawn said, softly but firmly. "I'm not going tomorrow. I can't face Kerri."

"I understand," Buffy said. She looked a little apprehensive. "I hate to sound mean...but you really shouldn't miss that much school, its only the first week-"

"I know," Dawn cut her off. "I just need a little more time." A part of her felt like a wimp for not showing up at school tomorrow. She knew it would give Kerri great satisfaction. But her more rational and exhausted side knew that she would never be able to make it through the day in her current emotional state. She slowly rose from her seat. "I guess I'll see you in the morning." She paused. "Its good to see you again Faith," she added, realizing that she meant it. For a brief moment she flashed back to a conversation she had with the slayer in the Bronze back in Sunnydale only mere months before...a conversation that had gone on to change her life. She blocked the thought, knowing where it led.

"You too Dawn," Faith said.

Buffy got up to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Good night Dawnie. If you need anything..."

"I know." Dawn forced one last smile before retiring to her room for the night.

Once she was gone Faith looked at Buffy, her eyes serious. "Poor kid. He really did a number on her."

"Tell me about it," Buffy said angrily. "I hate seeing her like this. I'm really worried about her, Faith. Connor was practically her whole life. And now that things ended the way they did, I'm afraid she won't be able to recover."

"She'll deal. It'll be hard, but she'll move on. Just like you and Angel," Faith pointed out.

Who said I recovered from that, Buffy thought sadly to herself. They sat in silence for a minute.

"Well I had a long day...Dawn said I could crash on the couch," Faith said, gesturing to it slightly awkwardly.

Buffy nodded quickly, realizing the subject of her staying hadn't really come up. "Yeah, sure. You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like." As she spoke the words, she realized that she really meant them.

> > > > >

Dawn hadn't thought about this when she'd eagerly come to bed. She hadn't considered the fact that she was coming to bed alone for the first time in months. As she lied there in the dark barely able to make out the ceiling, the cold, empty space next to her held her attention. Although it was in reality only a small space, it felt like a continent. She wrapped her arms around herself and bit her lip as she stared into the blackness around her. She felt so incredibly alone. She put a hand over her mouth when the first sob came, not wanting to break down again. But she found she couldn't help it. All she could do was turn over, shove her face into the pillow, and cry herself to sleep.

> > > > >

Connor lied on the floor of James's dorm room, clutching a flimsy blanket, his head on a pillow that didn't do much to cushion him against the hard, wood floor. The small space between the bed where James was sleeping soundly and the dresser that his left shoulder was pressing against should have made him claustrophobic, but he had too much on his mind to think about it. He realized with great sadness that this was the first night in months that he hadn't gone to bed with her, and fallen asleep in her arms. He couldn't simply reach out and touch her, or kiss her. He closed his eyes and forced himself to picture her: her silky brown hair, her wide, innocent eyes, that infectious smile. He thought of where she was right now, and his heart nearly shattered when he thought of her lying in their bed all alone. At least she has Buffy, he thought. Gosh, she probably hates me right now. Nice goin', in addition to screwing up your whole life you probably moved yourself to the top of the slayer's hit list, he thought sarcastically. He rolled over, instantly regretting it when his shoulder rammed into the bed. He cursed quietly. He settled back into the most comfortable position he could find and closed his eyes forcefully, trying to will himself to sleep. But it didn't work very well, since every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was Dawn.

> > > > >

The next morning Dawn was awoken by sunlight streaming in the window. She rubbed her forehead. It had taken her a very long time to go to sleep last night, and when she had nodded off she had slept fitfully. She glanced at her clock on the bedside and realized in surprise that it was after eleven. She never slept this late.

She got up out of bed, pulling on her robe and running a brush through her hair. She walked into the living room, which was empty except for Faith, who was sitting on the couch, frowning at a newspaper. She looked up when she heard Dawn. "Morning," she said.

"Did Buffy go to work?" Dawn asked, unable to recall her sister's ever-changing schedule.

"Yeah, she left a while ago. She told me to tell you there's pancakes in the fridge you can heat up." The slayer frowned at the newspaper. "How the hell am I supposed to stay current when everything's in Italian?"

A smile played at Dawn's lips as she headed for the fridge. "You could always learn Italian. Its really not that bad."

Faith stared at her like she had three heads. "I can barely speak English."

Dawn laughed as she unwrapped the pancakes, popping them in the toaster. "So were you comfortable on the couch?" she asked, eager to make small talk. It distracted her from less pleasant thoughts.

Faith nodded. "It was fine. Slept about as good as I have been lately..." Her voice faded off.

Dawn stared at her. "When did it happen?" She knew she didn't need to specify what she was talking about.

"Six days," Faith said, her eyes dropping to the paper again.

Less than a week, Dawn thought. "Have you...you know, talked about it?" she asked.

She continued to stare at the same article. "I've never been one to discuss my feelings," she said a little sharply.

Dawn thought about how to word what she wanted to say. "Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life. Definitely the worst since mom died. And I know that I have more hard days ahead of me. But even when it was all so new, I talked about it. I told C-Connor how I felt and I talked to my sister. It does help, you know."

Faith looked at her, her eyes frosted over. "Dawnie, I appreciate the whole shrink thing you're trying to do, really. But I'm not here for a shoulder to cry on."

"Then why are you here?" Dawn said, suddenly feeling bold. "You came because you were lonely, you obviously wanted-"

"Who says I was lonely? If I really wanted someone to kiss it and make it better I really don't think I'd choose the person who once put me in a coma," she said viciously.

"But you did," Dawn said firmly. "You came here because you needed something from us. I know how you feel, Faith. I'm going through more or less the same thing you are."

"Connor's not dead," Faith shot back, rising from the couch. "Robin is. And I'm responsible. You can't possibly compare a little breakup to causing someone you love to die." She got a startled look on her face when she realized what had just slipped out.

Dawn suddenly felt guilty. Was she being incredibly self-centered to compare her own problems to Faith's? However badly things had ended with Connor, he was still alive. That couldn't compare to the heartache of knowing you'll never see him again...at least not in this life. "I'm sorry," Dawn apologized. "I shouldn't have-"

"Forget it," Faith said coolly. She reached for her leather jacket, pulling it on quickly. "I need some air," she mumbled, heading for the door. She was gone before Dawn could call after her.

"Well I guess I can cross therapist off the possible career choices list," Dawn muttered to herself. She unexpected sound of her forgotten pancakes popping out of the toaster made her jump. She took a deep breath as she tossed them on a plate. This was going to be another long day.

> > > > >

Faith walked along the sidewalk briskly, taking in the sounds and sights of Rome. She had no idea where she was going, and realized that she hadn't even been paying attention. Getting back to the apartment might be a big of a trick now. But at this point, she could care less.

Images of Robin flashed through her mind as they often did. The one that stayed the longest and the clearest was her last image of him alive: staring at her with a look of shock and horror in his eyes in the last millisecond before that horrible crack sounded through the air. The vampire released his now broken neck and he crumpled to the ground. As the memory played she could hear her own strangled scream, and feel the soles of her shoes run to him, even though she knew it was too late. This was the memory that woke her up in the middle of the night, the one that she knew would always haunt her.

She tried to snap out of her thoughts by watching the people on the street. There wasn't too much activity in this neighborhood at this time of day, mostly little old ladies doing their daily shopping. She saw someone out of the corner of her eye, standing at a newsstand. She quickly did a double-take when she realized who it was. "Small world," she said to herself as she quickly closed the gap between herself and Connor. She stood behind him nonchalantly, waiting until he was done paying for whatever he was buying. As he turned around, shifting his bag to the other hand while he put his wallet away, he looked up and stepped back instinctively upon seeing her. "Faith," he said, surprise clear in his voice. "What are you..."

"Just paying B a visit," she said quickly, not willing to discuss her real reason for being here. Her expression was stern as she stared at him.

He looked down at his feet. "So I take it you're staying with Buffy and..."

"And Dawn? Yes, as a matter of fact I am," she said coolly.

Connor got a funny look on his face at the mention of her name. "How is she? Dawn, I mean." It was clear that Faith knew what had happened, so he didn't need to explain.

"How do you think she is?" Faith asked him.

Connor seemed to shrink a few inches. "I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, can't say I'd disagree with that," she said matter-of-factly.

Connor shifted uncomfortably. "Look, I know what I did was wrong. I know you probably want to kick my ass right now...actually, why would you? You never even got along that well with Dawn."

"Well maybe I understand what she's going through right now." The words poured out of her mouth before she even remembered thinking them.

"I miss her," he said quietly.

"You should," she said simply. She started to turn away, deciding the conversation was over.

"Faith, wait," he called after her. She stopped, but didn't turn around. He hesitated. "Tell Dawn..." he thought hard, trying to come up with something he could say to express how he was feeling without sounding like an asshole. "Just tell her that I love her." He thought he saw Faith nod before she hurried down the street.

> > > > >

Dawn was flipping channels on the tv when the knock sounded at the door that afternoon. She got up and hurried to answer it. It had to be Faith, she had been gone for almost three hours now and she didn't have a key. She swung the door open and was surprised to find Amelia standing on the other side, a pile of books in her arm. "Amelia, oh my God," she said. "How did you even find me?"

"I got your address from our homeroom teacher...I told her you were out for personal reasons, and offered to bring you homework." She gestured to the books in her hands. "Really I just wanted to see if you were okay."

Dawn quickly ushered her in, and she set the books down on the counter. Instinctively the two girls who barely knew each other hugged. When they pulled back Dawn sighed. "So I'm assuming you figured out what happened."

"I think I pieced together most of it," Amelia said sadly. "Is it over? With you and Connor?"

Dawn nodded. "I kicked him out yesterday. He admitted to kissing Kerri."

"Oh Dawn. I'm so sorry," her friend said.

Dawn went over to sit on the couch, gesturing to Amelia to follow. "So on a scale from one to ten, how triumphant was Kerri when I didn't show up to school today?"

Amelia looked at her uncertainly, as if she was unsure if she should sugarcoat the news. Finally she just told the truth. "About an eleven. I won't lie to you, she has been talking. But in her version, she and Connor did a lot more than kiss."

Dawn felt the anger bubbling up again. "They didn't though. He told me everything."

"You believe him?" Amelia asked.

Dawn sighed, pushing her hair back from her face. "That's the really screwed up part. I do. I could tell he was telling the truth. After everything that happened, he wouldn't lie to me about that."

"Well for what its worth, I told Kerri to get a life," Amelia said.

Dawn looked up at her. "You did what?"

Amelia smiled sheepishly. "She was telling all the other girls about how she stole your boyfriend away from you, and I went over and told her to get a life and stop gloating about what a ho she is."

She stared at her in disbelief. "You didn't."

"Well, not that last part. But I did tell her to get a life," Amelia said with a laugh.

Dawn shook her head. "Wow. I can't believe you would do that for me...we barely even know each other."

Amelia shrugged this off. "You were nicer to me than anyone has been ever since I moved here. I wasn't about to just sit there and let her say those things about you."

Dawn smiled, feeling really flattered. "Thank you so much. That's probably one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me."

Amelia smiled back. "So, when do you think you're going to come back to school?"

Dawn sighed. "I don't know. I know I'm stupid for missing days in the first week, but I just couldn't have faced her today. I'll probably come in on Monday, give myself the weekend to pull myself together. Come up with a plan of attack."

"You don't have to defend yourself to her. You shouldn't care what Kerri and her friends think of you. Feel free to just ignore her," Amelia urged.

"I'll probably end up doing that, unless I can somehow summon the bravery to say something to her," Dawn agreed. A wry smile came across her face. "He was going to tell me. Bad timing, huh." Amelia didn't say anything, so Dawn continued. "I guess he talked to Kerri's mom. Turned out everything she told him to get him all sympathetic was a big lie. She got kicked out of her school in Florida for fooling around with underage boys."

"Wow," Amelia said. "That's serious."

Dawn nodded. "But that still doesn't excuse what happened."

"You're more upset about the fact that he lied to you," Amelia said, beginning to understand.

Dawn leaned back on the couch. "I'm pretty sure he is the only person in my life who had never lied to me." My whole existence has always been one big lie, she thought bitterly.

"You miss him," her new friend replied.

Dawn nodded. "I do. But I think I miss what we had more."

"This might be way out of line...but its not too late. You could have that back. It would be hard, you would have to learn to trust him again, but-"

"You mean, I should take him back?" Dawn said. The words sounded very strange. She realized that of all the thoughts that had coursed through her mind in the past 30 hours or so, a reconciliation had not been one of them.

Amelia shrugged awkwardly. "That's for you to decide. But just don't forget its an option. Unless you don't love him anymore." Dawn didn't need to reply to that.

Dawn inhaled slowly. "Do you mind if we talk about something else now?"

"No," Amelia said quickly.

Amelia ended up staying for another half hour or so, as they made meaningless small talk about everything from friends and family to the weather in Rome. Then Amelia announced that she had to be getting home, and Dawn showed her to the door. "Thank you. For the homework, but mostly for being a friend," she said sincerely.

Amelia smiled sadly at her. "Hang in there, okay?" Dawn nodded as she watched Amelia's blonde head walk slowly down the hallway to the stairs. She closed the door, and went to sit at the counter. She pulled the top book off the stack that Amelia had brought and skimmed the paper with the assignment on it. It was math. Math was the same in any language. She found a pen and started doing the problems. It was review, she had covered this last year in Sunnydale, before the school had went on an extended vacation due to pending apocalypse. She found comfort in doing something fairly mindless, something that forced her to think about something other than her problems. However, she finished the assignment quickly, and the distracted serenity was quickly replaced by her conflicting thoughts came rushing back.

"That's for you to decide. But just don't forget its an option. Unless you don't love him anymore."

There was no question as to if she still loved Connor. Of course she did. She knew that you didn't feel something like that only to have it disappear overnight. But she no longer trusted him. She knew that were she alone with him again, she would not feel so overwhelmingly safe and loved. She realized that in the hundreds of hours where she had thought blissfully of her future with Connor, not one of the visions had ever included this. For some reason, even though she had spent her life watching her sister experience failed relationship after failed relationship, heartbreak after heartbreak, she had never imagined it happening to her. She had been under the impression that what she had with Connor was unbreakable. "I'm an idiot," she said out loud, staring down at her completed math problems. A tentative knock at the door got her up out of her stool. She swung the door open, not surprised to see Faith standing there. "I thought maybe I'd scared you off for good," she said dryly.

Faith silently entered the apartment. "I just needed some air." She paused. "I saw Connor."

Dawn felt her heart and stomach do a little flip. "How is he?"

"Seemed pretty broken up," Faith said honestly, turning to look at Dawn. "He told me to tell you he loves you."

Upon hearing that she wanted to cry, but the tears didn't come. She suspected that she was all cried out for the time being. She closed her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I was only trying to help."

Faith nodded, accepting the apology. "Yeah. Whatever. Look, maybe I am here because I needed the company. But I never said I wanted someone to analyze my problems." She took a breath. "When I want that kind of help I'll say so." She glanced around. "I'm gonna go take a shower." Dawn watched as she quickly disappeared into the bathroom.

It's funny. How some people deal with grief so differently, she bemused. She sat back down, wishing for a brief second that she could be more like Faith, that she could force her feelings away and put up a tough exterior. That skill might come in handy for Monday, when she had to face Kerri. You'll get through it. You're a Summers. Summers women are tough, she thought wryly. But somehow she wasn't feeling so strong anymore.

> > > > >

TBC...