A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. Thank you so much to everyone who has continued to review! I can't believe this is chapter eighteen already! I think you guys will enjoy this one. Please continue to review, I love hearing what you think!
Also, if anyone knows anything about high schools in Italy, like customs, traditions, events, anything really, please contact me. I want to start going into more of that in this story, and I would like it to be as accurate as possible. Thanks!
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Chapter 18: Some Explaining to Do
The apartment was almost eerily silent when Buffy finally arrived home, slipping in the door quietly. It was a little after midnight, and the only light in the apartment came from the faint glow of the streetlights outside, peeking through the cracks in the blinds.
As she closed the door behind her, she suddenly got the feeling that something was off. Call it a sixth sense caused by seven plus years of being the slayer, or just chalk it up to intuition, but Buffy suddenly got the suspicious feeling that something wasn't right. She glanced around in the dark, only able to clearly see what was a few feet in front of her. Then her eyes fell upon the single, perfect red rose, lying still on the kitchen counter, next to Dawn's purse. Frowning, Buffy slowly reached back to hit the light switch, bathing the front half of the apartment in light. She gently picked up the rose, carefully avoiding the thorns as thoughts swirled loosely in her mind. Her eyes found something lying on the floor, screamingly out of place even though the apartment wasn't exactly what you'd call organized. She had to take a few steps closer before she recognized it to be Dawn's black tank top. A car drove by outside, suddenly illuminating the rest of the apartment in a dingy, white light, and she saw that this was not the only piece of clothing on the floor. No, there was a trail all the way across the width of the room, jeans, a shirt she didn't recognize, a bra, and, to her horror, a pair of boxers. The couch cushions were all skewed, and the lamp shade next to the couch was on crooked, hanging there pathetically. As semi-darkness fell over the living room once again, Buffy turned and walked slowly, but with purpose, toward's Dawn's bedroom door, not allowing herself to put the pieces together just yet. Without hesitation she pulled it open and reached inside to turn on the light.
"Oh my God."
A gasp escaped from Dawn's mouth as she jolted awake from the sudden bright light, and she instinctively clutched the sheet to her bare chest as she sat straight upright. Next to her, Connor opened his eyes groggily, but seemed to snap out of his haze when he saw Buffy standing in the doorway. He glanced over quickly at Dawn, but she was staring straight at her sister, her face a combination of shock, horror, and panic. He squirmed in the bed, making sure he was covered.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding," Buffy said in dismay.
"Buffy, I can explain, this isn't what it looks like..." Dawn's voice trailed off. "Actually, it's exactly what it looks like, but just please-"
"Dawnie, what are you doing?" Buffy asked, incredulous. She stared at her sister, speechless, before turning her furious gaze to Connor. "And you. How dare you-"
"It's good to see you too," Connor muttered, feeling very exposed and sheepish about the entire situation. He discreetly moved his hand to touch Dawn's, hoping to calm her. "Buffy, listen, I'm sorry-"
"Dawn, have you forgotten that you have spent the last two weeks crying over him? He made you miserable. He broke your heart. And then, I come home in the middle of the night to find you naked in bed, with the living room looking like a war zone? How did you expect me to react?" Buffy said, visibly upset.
Oh shit, Connor thought, remembering their little escapades earlier in the living room and wincing. We got so carried away, we completely forgot that she would be coming home.
"Look, I know how bad this looks," Dawn said, trying to be calm, although her voice betrayed her with it's unusually high pitch. "But you have to understand. Connor and I are back together, we decided to move on from everything that happened-"
"And when, exactly, did you decide this?" Buffy demanded. She hadn't moved from the doorway, and she was still holding the rose in one hand. "Do you expect me to believe that after wanting nothing to do with him for two weeks, he shows up here and you just fall right back into bed with him?"
Dawn flinched as if she had been slapped. "Okay, why don't we all just calm down and discuss this like rational adults," Connor interjected, holding up a hand as if to shield himself and Dawn.
Buffy was just about to respond when the apartment door opened once again. Faith stepped inside, walking up so she was behind Buffy. She paused for a second as she looked from the messy, clothes-strewn living room to the blonde slayer to the young couple in bed, looking very much like deer in the headlights. "Hey Connor," she said calmly, as if she had walked in on nothing more interesting than an infomercial. Without as much as a raised eyebrow she sauntered to the living room, easily sidestepping the various clothes and undergarments as she turned on the light, pausing a second to right the lamp shade. Then she straightened out one of the couch cushions, kicked off her boots, and plopped down, switching on the tv and crossing her legs as if it were just another night. Buffy stared at her for a second, her mouth opening and closing slightly as she shook her head, but then she seemed to change her mind, turning her attention back to the problem at hand. It took her a moment to regain her train of thought.
"So, is anyone going to explain to me why I am supposed to not be upset?" she said, her voice cool and even.
Dawn pulled one of the sheets around herself as she got out of the bed and moved towards her sister. "I'm sorry that you had to find out this way, this really wasn't what I had in mind."
"Oh, well that's comforting," Buffy snapped, shooting a glare at Connor, who was still sitting awkwardly in the bed.
"Buffy, I made a mistake. I decided to meet Connor on Saturday, just to talk. I didn't tell you because I didn't think you'd understand why I needed to see him. I know that I should have, and I'm sorry. And then tonight, we went out, and then we were attacked by vampires in the alley, and..." She stopped herself, deciding that elaborating on where that story led would only make things worse. "But we realized that we still love each other, and I forgave him."
Buffy just stared at her, disappointment in her eyes. "Dawn, do you think that lying to my face, sneaking around with Connor behind my back, and then letting me come home to find this," she waved her hand around wildly, gesturing behind her towards the living room and then at Connor in the bed. "You do those things and expect me to be okay with it?"
Dawn didn't know what to say, so instead she moved wordlessly to the living room, quickly picking up Connor's clothes, as well as her own. She gathered them in her arms before spinning around to face her sister. "I'm sorry. This was very irresponsible of me. I know. But Buffy, you have to give us a chance to explain." She shuffled back to the bedroom, wordlessly handing Connor his clothes. She stared at her sister helplessly before quietly closing the door so that she could get dressed too.
As the door closed, Buffy took in a long, ragged breath, trying to calm herself down. As thoughts swirled through her mind, she looked over at Faith, reclined on the couch, happily watching an old Italian sitcom. "Did you know about this?" she demanded suspiciously.
Faith looked at her as if she had just noticed she wasn't alone. "Me? You mean, about D and Angel junior shacking up again? What would make you think that?"
"Well, I don't know, maybe the fact that you walked in right in the middle of me having a major freak out over seeing them in bed with the living room a mess, and you barely even blinked?" Buffy said, speaking very quickly as a result of her newfound anxiety.
Faith shrugged. "From what I've heard, you shouldn't talk about a few messed up cushions. Didn't I hear something about you and Spike bringing down an entire building?"
Buffy slowly clenched her fists. "You're avoiding the question." She paused a moment to think. "You did know, didn't you? Did she confide in you, tell you that she was seeing him again?"
"No, she didn't," Faith said honestly. "But it didn't take a rocket scientist to see what was going on. Hell, I just got here and I could tell something was up from the first time she lied about where she was going." She cocked her head to the side, looking Buffy up and down. "B, you want to know my honest opinion? I think you see what you wanna see when it comes to little sis. Maybe the reason I can tell what's going on is because I'm just the casual observer." She glanced back at the tv, where a laugh track was roaring in the background of the show.
Buffy shook her head, refusing to believe that. "No. I know my sister, she just hid this from me..."
"She didn't do a very good job of it. When I got here, Dawn was miserable. The girl was broken, B. And maybe the reason I saw it is because I know broken. I've been broken my whole damn life. The closest I ever got to a normal life was these past few months. But then Robin..." Faith's voice trailed off and she cleared her throat. "Dawn and me, I think the two of us get each other. Ask her, we have some kind of understanding or something, it's actually kind of freaky considering what a brat she used to be. But hell, if getting back with Connor is going to make her happy again, then I'm not gonna stand in the way." She looked at her fellow slayer, her expression solemn. "I think one of us deserves to be happy."
As Buffy looked at Faith, really looked at her for maybe the first time since she'd come to Rome, she saw a flash of what maybe Dawn had seen all along. Sure, there was the same tough exterior that she had come to know more well than she'd wanted to, the same stubborn resolve. But there was also something else in her eyes: pain. Actually, Faith looked more vulnerable right in that moment than Buffy had ever seen her, sitting on the couch with the remote in her lap, wearing a low cut black tank top and tight, low-rise jeans with clunky black boots. Sure, she might look like the same Faith. But she saw now that this girl was different, different even from the girl she had connected with and gotten help from during the last battle in Sunnydale. Something about this realization caused Buffy to grow quiet, gradually drawing her eyes away from her fellow slayer as she waited for Dawn and Connor to come out.
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Once they were alone, Dawn turned to Connor with a look of dismay. "How could we be so stupid?" she whispered, dropping the sheet and pulling on her underwear. "I can't believe she came home and saw that, not to mention walking in on us...no wonder she's furious."
"I'm not going to say it," Connor muttered as he pulled his shirt over his head. He was almost surprised to see the bandage still on his arm; the fight seemed like a million years ago now.
Dawn narrowed her eyes at him. "What? I told you so? Well, I wouldn't blame you, because I should have just told her right away. I got myself in this situation."
Finished dressing, he moved to touch her shoulders. "Shhh. Everything is going to be okay. We have each other again. We can do anything as long as we're together." He leaned in to kiss her gently before pulling her in close for a hug. She gratefully breathed in his scent, the faintest trace of the mild cologne he always wore mixed with sweat from their "reunion". Even though she knew what awaited her on the other side of the door, she felt safer and more relaxed than she had in weeks. He was right: as long as they had each other, everything would be okay. Being together was all that mattered. Unfortunately they had learned that the hard way, but they were stronger because of it.
He smoothed her hair, looking into her eyes. "Ready?"
She nodded. "As I'll ever be." He started towards the door before she reached out to touch his arm. "Connor...let me do the talking. No offense, but I think she's pretty pissed at you."
"And what led you to that conclusion?" he said dryly. She just shot him a look before reaching out to open the door. To his slight surprise, she grabbed his hand before heading out into the living room. He squeezed hers, holding on tightly.
They both saw Buffy's eyes go straight to their entwined hands before moving back up to look them in the face. All three of them were silent for a long moment, none of them wanting to start. The only sound in the room was the faint babbling coming from the tv, which Faith was watching on low volume as if it was actually better entertainment than the real-life scene unfolding before her eyes.
Finally Buffy began. "So you say this started on Saturday." Her voice was even and calm, with not a trace of the anger and near-hysterics from earlier.
Her sister's apparent relaxation made Dawn breathe a little easier. "Yes. Well...not exactly. We just met to talk. We both had a lot of things that still needed to be said."
"And you," Buffy said, her eyes narrowing slightly as she redirected her gaze at Connor. "You're the one who arranged this little...meeting?"
"Yes," Connor said. He was about to go into more of an explanation when he decided it would just complicate things even more, so he remained quiet.
"But then it was my idea to see him again. To go...on a date," Dawn said, wanting to make it clear that this reconciliation was in no means one-sided.
Disbelief and confusion caused Buffy's forehead to wrinkle slightly. "See, that's the part I don't understand. Dawn, do you remember when I came home to find you sobbing in the middle of the living room? You were devastated because of what he did to you. And now a few apologies and you're back together, just like that?"
Dawn looked down at the floor as she felt Connor's gaze turn to her, in sadness and regret after hearing how she had reacted. She forced herself not to look at him. "It wasn't just like that," she said quietly. "We realized that we just weren't happy without each other. I forgave him, Buffy. And before you say anything, I forgave him because he made it more than clear to me that what happened was a mistake, and we decided together that we can move on from it."
"Buffy, I understand how pissed you probably are at me. You love your sister, and I'm sure that you probably want to hit me right now. And I would probably deserve it. But I just hope that you can give me another chance," Connor said bravely.
Buffy just stared at him. Finally she moved her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes slightly as she relaxed against it. "I just can't believe this."
Dawn looked up at Connor, worry in both of their eyes. "Look, Buffy, I know it's weird. And I never expected that this would happen tonight. But it did, and I don't regret it." Connor smiled down at her as she spoke, in awe of her boldness. "So Buffy, please. Don't you want me to be happy?"
Buffy looked at her tiredly. "That's all I've ever wanted."
Dawn moved her other hand so that both were clutching Connor's. "Well, this is what makes me happy." She decided not to say anything else, feeling that she had said all that she could in her defense.
Buffy looked between the two of them. Then she glanced over at Faith on the couch, who had to abruptly look back at the tv to not be caught watching the scene intently. She took a deep breath. "Well I suppose that I can't exactly forbid you to get back together. And it does seem that you mean it when you say that he makes you happy." She paused slightly, but not long enough for anyone to interject. "But this doesn't mean that things are going to go right back to how they used to be." Dawn nodded, bracing herself for what she knew was coming next. "Connor, you will not be moving back in with us. And before either of you can protest, I think that maybe that was a little too much to begin with. Besides, my sister may have forgiven you, but you still have some work to do before I can trust you again."
Connor nodded. "I understand."
"And Dawn," Buffy continued. "The fact that you will no longer have a live-in boyfriend does not mean that you are free to spend every waking hour out visiting him. You do have your senior year to think about, and I think it might be time we set up a few rules around here." Dawn nodded solemnly.
"And you," Buffy said, eyeing Connor once again. "You hurt her one more time, and I promise you that little scratch on your arm will be nothing compared to what I'll do to you."
"Damn straight," Faith chimed in from the couch, expressing her agreement.
Connor winced, but only slightly. "Deal."
Buffy looked at Dawn questioningly. "Is that all clear?"
Dawn tried not to look too disappointed. She knew that she had no right to complain. "Yes."
The three of them just looked at each other for a minute. Dawn and Connor were still holding hands tightly. "So I guess that settles it, then," Buffy said. She looked at Connor pointedly as if waiting for something.
It took him a moment to catch on. "Oh. Right. So I guess that's my cue to leave," he said awkwardly. He glanced down at Dawn.
Dawn looked at her sister. "I'll walk him out." The two of them headed for the door, but Connor hesitated, turning back to look at Buffy.
"Thank you," he said sincerely.
She just shrugged. "Sure." Connor gave her a little half-nod before he and Dawn slipped out the door into the hallway.
Once they were alone she gazed up at him, no longer trying to hide her disappointment. "This sucks," she whispered.
He leaned in and kissed her gently. "It's okay. We can handle it. We can handle anything, remember?"
She smiled a little at that, stepping in close for a tight hug. "Tonight was amazing," she said softly.
"It was," he responded. They pulled back enough so they could look at each other. "I'd better go. I'll call you tomorrow."
"I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to see you as much as I'd like as long as Buffy's on the warpath," Dawn said grudgingly.
"Hey, it'll be okay. She'll come around to me again eventually."
Dawn sighed. "She'd better." She leaned in for one more kiss. This one lasted longer, neither wanting it to end.
"Good night," Connor said, squeezing her hand. "I love you."
"I love you too," she said. They smiled at each other one last time before he started down the hallway. Once he reached the stairs he glanced back, and she waved after him. Then he continued on his way until he was out of her sight.
Dawn slowly reentered the apartment. Buffy was sitting at the kitchen counter, watching her. "You need to go to bed. You have school in the morning."
Dawn nodded. "I'm going. Good night."
"Good night."
"Good night Faith," Dawn called out as she entered her bedroom.
"G'night," Faith called back, still watching the tv.
Dawn closed her bedroom door behind her and glanced around. After weeks of seeming so empty, it had finally felt right again earlier. Now, it was back to empty. But at least the physical space of the room was as far as that emptiness extended.
She slowly changed into her pajamas. Just as she was about to crawl into bed, a sudden thought came to her. She moved to the dresser, and opened the top drawer, reaching underneath everything until she found it, right where she had stuffed it on the lowest night of her life. Her hands were steady as she fastened the heart shaped pendant back around her neck where it belonged. She squeezed her hand around it as a smile spread across her lips. Finally, she turned off the light and got into bed, and for the first time in weeks, she had no trouble falling asleep.
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A short while later, Connor quietly pushed open the door to James's dorm room, expecting him to be asleep, considering it was nearing 2 am. To his surprise, his friend was wide awake, sitting at the computer typing away. He turned around when he heard him come in, raising an eyebrow at him in question. "Well, that must have been quite the date," he said suggestively.
Connor tried to keep a straight face but couldn't help but break into a grin. "We're back together," he said happily, reaching down to take off his shoes.
"All right," James said, grinning back at him. He swung around in his chair, whatever he was doing on the computer temporarily forgotten. "So, tell me about it."
"Well, we went to the movies and everything as planned," Connor began. "And things seemed to be going pretty well. And then I was walking her home, and all of a sudden we were attacked by these vam- muggers," he said, catching himself quickly. "Yeah, some muggers tried to, um, rob us. I got a little scratched," he said, gesturing to his arm.
"Oh man! That sucks. You guys are lucky you're alright," James said seriously.
Connor nodded, eager to get past the fudged part of the story. "So anyways, she brought me in to get cleaned up...and one thing kind of led to another," he said, trying not to grin at the memory.
"Ah. I see what you're sayin'," James said with a smirk. He glanced at the clock. "But wait a second, if things went so well, what are you doing back here?"
"Um, yeah, we kind of got so carried away we forgot that Buffy would be coming home," Connor said sheepishly. "So she came back, and..." he raised an eyebrow.
"Oh man! She didn't," James demanded.
"She did. And not only did she kind of catch us in bed together, but we hadn't exactly left the living room in the best, uh, condition," he continued with a grimace.
"Yikes," James said with appreciation. "I don't envy you that one, man."
"Yeah. It was pretty bad, Buffy kind of freaked. It was made worse by the fact that Dawn had been waiting for the right moment to tell her we were seeing each other again. But she did admit that she can't stop us from getting back together. She's not that thrilled about it, but I think she'll come around."
James nodded. "Well, that's great! I'm really happy for you." He hesitated. "So, the whole thing with Kerri..."
"As good as forgotten," Connor said with extreme relief. "Dawn understands. We both realized that we love each other too much to let one mistake ruin everything."
"I told you it would work itself out," James said triumphantly. He glanced around. "So, I guess this means I'm going to have the place to myself again!"
Connor winced. "Um, yeah, about that...when I said Buffy eventually agreed she can't stop us from being together? She also said that there were going to be some changes. Like, I can't move back in." He paused thoughtfully. "And she also kind of threatened to kick my ass, but that's besides the point."
James laughed out loud. "Buffy? Kick your ass? She's like, tiny!"
"I wouldn't underestimate her," Conner said wryly. He cleared his throat. "So, yeah, I'm sorry but it looks like I'm not leaving just yet. But I promise, now that everything is more or less back to normal, I'm going to look for my own place, starting tomorrow."
"Don't worry about it, it's not like I'm kicking you out," James said easily. He glanced around at the small space. "But I think we both agree that this arrangement won't exactly work forever."
Connor laughed. "Yeah. But hey, I really owe you one."
"No problem." He temporarily turned back to the computer, hitting a few buttons and causing a document to slowly come out of the printer on the other side of the desk. "Term paper," he said in response to Connor's questioning gaze. "Due in...seven hours. Can't say I'm not a procrastinator."
Connor laughed. He yawned suddenly, stretching his arms. "I think I'm gonna turn in, I'm kinda tired." He reached over and grabbed his blanket from the corner and moved to what had become his spot on the floor.
"Yeah, you would be tired," James said casually. Connor just glared at him as his friend broke out laughing.
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The next morning Dawn was surprised by what she found when she emerged from her bedroom, all ready for school. Buffy was already sitting at the kitchen counter, eating cereal, and there was another bowl sitting across from her waiting. "Good morning. Come sit," she called out.
Dawn slowly walked over, knowing something was up. Most of the time Buffy didn't even eat with her, let alone set out her breakfast. "Thanks," she said suspiciously, starting in on her cereal.
"You're welcome." Dawn noticed that Buffy had a pad of paper and a pen with her. Before she could ask, her sister began to speak in an official-sounding tone. "So I think it's time we have a little discussion about what we talked about last night. How things are going to change around here."
Dawn nodded slowly as she chewed her cereal. "What kind of changes?" she asked after swallowing.
Buffy glanced down at her notepad. "Well, first I wanted to talk about school. You haven't exactly started the year off on a great note, with everything that's been happening, and I want things to improve. This year is important, Dawnie, college is next year. I know it's hard with the whole language thing, but I know that if you spend enough time on your schoolwork you'll do fine."
"I have been doing fine," Dawn insisted.
"Dawnie, come on. We both know that your mind has been on other things lately. So I thought if we set up a few ground rules, it would help make sure that you spend enough time on your work."
Oh boy, Dawn thought, bracing herself. "What kind of rules?" she asked timidly.
Buffy looked at her, her face stoic and firm. "Well, from now on you can only go out on a school night after all of your homework is done. And you have to be home and in bed by eleven. No exceptions."
"What about weekends?" Dawn asked.
"I think that midnight would be okay. But only if you tell me where you're going and who you're going with. And you have no right to fight me on this. You lied to me, Dawn, so you need to gain back my trust." Dawn could tell from the tone of her sister's voice that she was dead serious.
"What about Connor?" Dawn said flatly.
Buffy gave her a look. "You know I said that I won't stop you from being with him if that's really what makes you happy. So you can see him whenever you want, as long as you're back before curfew and you let me know when you're going to be seeing him."
Dawn nodded. She could deal with that. The only thing that bothered her was that with a curfew and Connor living elsewhere, finding "quality time" together might be difficult. She couldn't help but feel frustrated. After being miserable for weeks, she was finally happy again but couldn't completely bask in it.
"Do you understand?" Buffy asked, staring at her pointedly.
"Yes, I understand," Dawn responded. She stood up to put her bowl in the sink, and she stopped when she saw her red rose, sitting in a small vase by the sink. She didn't throw it away, she thought with surprise. She set down her bowl and walked over to it, inhaling it's scent deeply. After a long moment she snapped out of it, glancing at the clock. "Well, I should go," she said, gathering her coat and school bag.
"Have a nice day," Buffy said politely.
Dawn nodded. "I will. And Buffy?" Her sister looked up at her expectantly. "I-I'm sorry. I just thought you wouldn't understand."
Buffy's mind drifted back to the conversation she'd had with Faith the previous night. "I'm sorry too," she said, surprising herself a little. She was sorry, she was sorry if she had been too blind to see what was going on, she was sorry for maybe not being there as much as she should have been. She already intended to talk to her boss as soon as she got to work today and cut back on her hours. Some things were more important.
Dawn smiled a little. "Bye Buffy."
"Bye." Dawn closed the door behind her as she left, leaving Buffy alone with her notepad and her thoughts. At least until Faith came in a few moments later, holding a bag from the coffee shop down the street in her hand.
"Little sis leave already?" Faith asked conversationally, taking the seat that Dawn had vacated and pulling some jelly-filled pastry out of the bag.
"Yes, she did," Buffy said quietly. She shook her head as Faith motioned to split her "breakfast" with her.
"Everything okay with you two?" Faith asked, her mouth slightly full as she took large bites of her food.
Buffy considered that. "I don't know. But I think they will be."
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TBC! Please review!