Chapter 3

Raging Ranto Cantina

Nejaa entered the cantina and weaved his way through the crowd, looking for Scerra. When he didn't find her at their usual table by the dance floor, he reached out into the Force, hoping to find her familiar presence. He found her among the mass of beings, but she wasn't in the common room. It suddenly surprised him at how relieved he was to have found her presence, and how disappointed he had been when he thought he'd missed her.

He had left CorSec headquarters, but instead of coming directly to the Ranto, he went back to the rooming house he was staying at, which was only a block away from CorSec and on the way to the cantina. He didn't understand why he had felt the need to change from his usual outfit of brown trousers, tunic and his worn boots, but he did.

He returned to the entry area of the barroom and waited for Scerra to appear from where he had sensed her. He found himself impatient, then he suddenly wondered about what he was doing and what he felt for her. He felt drawn to her, there was no denying that. He knew she was attracted to him, she wasn't adapt at hiding her feelings from him, but then she probably didn't realize he could pick up on them so easily. What did disturb him was his attraction to her and his desire to encourage it. A desire so great he'd change into black trousers and a very civilian white shirt just to make a good impression with her. He knew it was wrong and he understood this, but he couldn't make himself not want to see her, or to enjoy her company. And as he turned when he felt her enter the room, he realized just how happy he was that Ros wasn't with them.

Scerra came toward him from the direction of the refreshers. He only caught sight of her red hair as she threaded her way through the loud crowd, but soon she was close enough to see the rest of her. Nejaa was instantly astounded by what he saw. She was dressed in a very flattering sleeveless black dress, which shimmered when the silky fabric of its full skirt would catch a stray beam of light from one of the wall sconces.

"Nejaa, hi," she said once she got close enough to be heard over the din. She looked around and added, "Where's Ros?"

Nejaa swallowed, getting his sudden emotion back under control. "He had to pull another shift. Olin Faxland's wife went into labor."

She smiled and said, "That's too bad for Ros, but I'm happy for Olin. She's like two weeks overdue. I can't even imagine."

Nejaa snickered as he said, "I don't know Lieutenant Faxland that well, but from what I could gather, she wasn't letting him forget that he put her into that uncomfortable predicament."

They shared a laugh, but soon Scerra looked around and frowned. "It seems busier than usual. There must have been a shift change at one of the orbitals. I just got here myself."

Nejaa nodded in agreement. Then the sounds of a loud argument broke out between two men near the area they usually sat by the dance floor. Two off-duty CorSec officers quickly intervened along with the Ranto's owner with a nasty looking stun baton. Nejaa could feel the hostility between the group and knew things were about to get a lot louder and more confused than he wanted them to be. He turned to Scerra and said, "Let's go somewhere else so we don't have to yell at each other to be heard. The Red Ladies aren't here tonight anyway," he pointed out to the stage where another lesser known group was trying to set up. The usual Fifthnight group, which was made up of Bith musicians and two Lethan Twi'lek sisters, who could actually sing as well as dance, was out of town.

She smiled and said, "Great idea. And I think I know the perfect place too. C'mon, my speeder is just outside."

Moments later, they were speeding in the direction of the ocean. Nejaa smiled as he looked over the controls of the old speeder. "I'm surprised this thing still can fly. This model is ancient, but it's in immaculate condition."

She laughed and looked at him. "I've taken very good care of my baby, thank you very much."

He returned her grin. "I'm sure you had too. I'm just surprised that's all, you don't seem the type of girl who into classic sport speeders."

"I'm not really, but this was a present from my dad when I first got my license. He liked old machinery—speeders and ships. It was that interest that attracted him to engineering as a kid. He liked to take old speeders and refurbish them. This was one of the last ones he did before he was killed."

Nejaa watched as she turned to look ahead through the windshield of the old bright blue SoroSuub landspeeder again. He could sense her sadness and loss as she spoke of her father. "You were very close to him?"

She glanced back at him and responded suspiciously, "Yes. How could you tell?"

Nejaa shrugged and looked away. Her green eyes seemed to penetrate something he wasn't sure he understood. "I sensed your love for him when you spoke of him. Sorry," he added as he turned to look at her again. "I didn't mean to pry."

She smiled and totally put him at ease. "Dad and I were very close. He understood me in a way my mother never has been able to." They came to an intersection and she stopped at the traffic signal. As they waited for it to change, she went on, "He was the one that encouraged me to become a teacher, in fact. I had helped out with a CE youth day. You know what I mean, where parent s could bring their little kids to one of the orbital shipyards for a day." He nodded and she continued, "Well, I helped with the little kids. I must have been on only thirteen at the time, myself, but I realized that I loved kids. I volunteered every year after that." The light changed and she went through the intersection. "Dad is the one who encouraged me to become a teacher. He knew I wasn't mechanically inclined enough or liked science enough to become an engineer like him and Mom. My mother never could understand that. She sees teaching as less than ideal for me and never agreed with Daddy that it was a noble profession.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him."

"What happened? You said he was killed?" Nejaa asked then quickly added, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. You don't have to tell me."

She shrugged and turned the speeder down another avenue. "I don't mind talking about it. It hurts, because he's gone, but it's been long enough that I can talk about it without falling into a mushy mess of tearful grief." She paused for a moment as she made another turn onto a street that took them parallel with the beach. Housing along here was mostly single family and exclusive. The sun had set and the beach lighting along the strip of gold sand illuminated the calm water of the Southern Corellian Sea. Nejaa wondered where they were going, but didn't ask, he figured he'd find out soon enough.

Finally, she said, "I was eighteen when Dad was killed when a hyperdrive reactor he and his crew were working on went critical and exploded. A fluke accident, but it happened. Later CE realized that it was a design flaw and changed it in that particular ship."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Scerra. Losing a parent that you were so close to must be hard."

She pulled the speeder into a docking slip by a building that looked like an ancient seafaring ship. On what would have been the bow and painted in large, garish, old-fashioned lettering, was the name The Mermaid. She looked over at him as she powered down the engine. "You don't even know your parents, do you? I mean, Jedi are raised at the Temple, right?"

He nodded and replied, "That's true about Jedi being raised by the Order, but I know my parents, I'm just not close to them. They live in a farming village on the plains of the North Western Continent. I visit them from time to time when I'm on Corellia, but really I don't have a relationship with them like a son would normally have. I also have two half-siblings, my mother's children to her first husband, whom I don't know at all."

"That must be extremely difficult for them," she asked intently. "I can't imagine any parent giving their babies away to be raised by strangers. I can understand when it comes to adoption by a stranger who would love my child, but to give a child to someone who according to their own philosophy cannot love, that I don't understand."

He shrugged. It was a common argument that raged for decades, possibly even centuries, about the seemingly coldness in which the Jedi Order insisted on raising its members. "I don't know about that. And you would be surprised about just how willingly beings give their children over to the Jedi. But to assure you, the crèche parents are very attentive to the younglings. They never want for anything when it comes to comfort, but it is true we are taught early not to form attachments to our caregivers. However, occasionally it still happens."

"How old were you when you were taken to the Temple?" she asked, genuinely interested.

"I was two when I was taken to Coruscant. My great-grandfather was a Jedi and was the one who took me there. I don't even think anyone realizes that he was my relative. He died not many years after taking me to the Temple." He grinned at the thought of the scandal he was sure a discovered relationship would have caused as he added, "Apparently, he had a secret family here on Corellia and waited a few generations before bringing in another Halcyon to be trained. Though, I don't think my father is Force-sensitive, and I don't know about my grandfather. He was killed when my father was just a kid."

"Was your great-grandfather married? I thought that was forbidden."

"It is. But he wasn't married, only had a son, which he didn't even know about until the boy was a teenager."

"Oh!" she exclaimed when the meaning dawned on her and then blushed at his candid family secret. "Oh."

He laughed at her burst of embarrassment. "Don't be so surprised. It happens all the time, and I'm not ashamed of where I came from. Jedi are forbidden attachments, which include marriage, but we aren't required to be celibate. Good thing too, or I and several other Jedi for that matter, wouldn't be here. There are certain families who have turned out Jedi for centuries. This includes the Halcyons so I doubt my great-grandfather was the first to have a child without the benefit of marriage."

Nejaa watched as her blush turned a deeper shade of rose and smiled. He didn't know if it was his being so candid about the never talked about illegitimacy within the Jedi Order that caused the reaction, or something else.

She also seemed suddenly flustered, but covered it quickly by opening the door on her side and changing the subject. "Emm…let's go in. The Mermaid has the best seafood on the planet."

After entering the restaurant, which was decorated in the same fashion as the outside, they were met by an older woman who appeared to be almost as round as she was tall. She broke out into a wide smile and held out her arms to Scerra.

"Ahhh…Scerra! It's good to see you again."

Scerra hugged the buxom woman and said, "Mrs. Martiz, it's good to see you again."

They stepped away from each other and Mrs. Martiz looked up at Nejaa. Seeing the question and the delight in the woman's eyes, Scerra said, "Mrs. Martiz, this is my friend Nejaa. Nejaa this is an old family friend and owner of The Mermaid, Deena Martiz."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Deena said as she shook Nejaa's hand. "Any friend of Scerra's is a friend of mine."

Nejaa smiled and returned the greeting, then he said, "Scerra said that you serve the best seafood on the planet."

She laughed and dismissively waved him off. "She's too kind. But," she leaned in just a little as if she was going to tell them a secret, "I will admit my place is the best in Coronet City." Then she abruptly turned and gestured for them to follow her. "Follow me, I have the perfect table."

She led them through the busy restaurant but the private booths and the ancient nautical decorations that hung from exposed wood beams in the ceiling helped muffle the conversations. Soon they were seated in a cozy booth in the far corner, the only light coming from a dimly lit lamp over the table.

"I think she's gotten the wrong idea," Nejaa commented as Mrs. Martiz moved away from them.

As Scerra called up the holographic menu on the displayer at the edge of the table, she smirked and shrugged. "Not hard to do that, I suppose." Then she met his eyes and Nejaa felt his breath catch. She was absolutely beautiful. Smiling, she went on to add, "I will admit this feel an awful lot like a date."

Nejaa stared at her and then laughed.

"What's so funny?" she glared at him. "You wouldn't date me?"

Still snickering, he fought the sudden heat he felt come to his cheeks and was suddenly glad for the low lighting as he looked away. "It's just that I'd have to agree with you. That is if I knew what a date felt like."

"You've never been on a date?" she asked incredulous.

He met her eyes and shrugged. "No. I mean I've been in the company of women before, of course, but to say I've been on a date—I'd have to say no. Remember, this activity isn't exactly sanctioned by the Jedi Order."

She looked away and something subtle changed within her. It was almost as if she was disappointed. He then added, not really understanding the need to reassure her, "But I'm glad I'm here with you." She looked up again and he couldn't help the sudden desire to make her happy that came over him. He'd do anything to see her smile. In a low voice he said, "In fact, I wouldn't want it to be anyone else."

Then she smiled and Nejaa felt as if he had seen the sun for the first time. He was walking on quicksand and he knew it. He was feeling things he had never felt before, but he had no intention of stopping them. To stop the emotion he felt for her meant disappointing Scerra, and he had no desire to ever do that.

Suddenly, their serving droid came over and broke the growing tension between them.

Scerra's declaration about the food was a definite truth as they enjoyed a meal of salad greens and succulent sautéed shrimp in a spicy cream sauce severed over a bed of pasta. They washed it down with a bottle of Aderaanian wine. As they ate they talked about Scerra's recent endeavors in curriculum development at her school.

As the droid cleared their plates and they poured more wine, she said, "I'm pleased with the way things are going. I did relent and let Bookie finally help me some, but I've kept his contributions to the minimum. I want this to be my plan. Dean Klissinger and the board of directors have been thrilled with what I've come up with already." She paused and Nejaa could feel the pleasure radiating from her as she spoke of teaching. He could imagine her being extremely good at it. "In fact, the dean has hinted that if I keep this up they may make me his assistant. He's thinking of retirement in a few years which would be a perfect opening for me to become the principal. I'm already thinking of taking the necessary classes at the university next session."

"That's great, Scerra. I can tell just by the way you glow when you talk about your students that you love teaching." He watched as a blush touched her cheeks. He smiled at her and sipped at his wine.

"I do," she finally said and lifted her glass of wine to her lips. "But as much as I want to become the dean, I'll miss teaching. So," she shrugged and sat the glass down again, "we'll just have to see where it goes."

The droid returned and asked if they wanted dessert but they both declined. After the server left them again, Scerra said, "Hey, it's a beautiful night. Would you like to take a walk along the beach?"

Nejaa didn't want the evening to end. He smiled and said, "I'd love to."

-x-

Moments later they found themselves walking in the golden sand along the beach. Scerra had her heeled shows in her left hand and the warm sand felt delicious between her toes. Nejaa surprised her with his openness as they talked. He spoke again about his family, telling her that, though he loved what he did and felt being a Jedi was what the Force wanted of him, he did miss not being able to get to know them.

"Call it ignorance on my part, but why does the Order disallow normal family relationships? To me, it doesn't seem the best way to encourage its members to have healthy lives. I can't imagine a life without love, or family. My mother and I don't agree with each other, but we love each other, and despite her faults, can imagine never knowing her."

He was quiet for a few steps then suddenly stopped. "I suppose it does seem cruel. But I've seen some of the families Jedi children come from while I was a scout. I know for a fact those children are far better off with the Order than they would ever have been with their so-called families. In fact, considering the power they have, it's better for everyone. It can be very dangerous for a non-trained Force-sensitive if they fall into doing crime. Worse, if they are discovered by the wrong type and trained in the dark side." He paused and looked out over the calm, dark sea, before saying, "Though there were those babies from normal families who, no doubt, would have loved them with all that they had."

"What exactly is a scout? You said that you were one for about six years."

He took off his cape and spread it over the sand. Then he gestured to it. "Let's sit. This should protect your dress." She nodded and lowered herself down onto the black cape, while he sat next to her, but choosing to sit in the soft sand rather than too close to her.

"As a scout, I searched for and tested for possible Force-sensitives. I enjoyed my work, but sometimes it was heartbreaking."

"I can only imagine," she said and turned to look at him. As he pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms over them, she was stricken again just how good looking he was. He wasn't young, he told her that he was 38, and there were tiny lines at the corners of his eyes when he laughed, but his long hair was still dark without a trace of grey, and he was in better shape than most men half his age.

"But it's not the way you think. Usually it was because parents wanted their child to have a better life. They wanted them to be Force-sensitive and when the child tested negatively they would be quite beside themselves. I even rescued a few orphans from the clutches of disreputable homes. But the saddest thing that happened was when I found this Twi'Lek boy on Ryloth who was very strong in the Force and dreamed of being a Jedi, but he was too old to train."

"How old was he?"

"Eleven. It was afterward that I decided I needed a change. My Padawan was about ready for the Trials; so, I waited the year until he was knighted, and then I was assigned to the mission I'm on now."

She smiled as she said, "Which brought you to Corellia."

He returned her smile and agreed, his voice taking on a low tone, "Yes, which brought me to Corellia."

He gazed into her eyes for a long moment and Scerra wondered what he was thinking. His dark eyes seemed to burn in the dim illumination of the beach lighting and the full moon. Suddenly, he took a deep breath and looked back out over the water.

When he turned back to her, he asked, "So, we know why I'm not attached, but I can't understand why a beautiful, young woman like you isn't."

She stared at him. It was such a personal question, and normally she would have been offended by his bluntness, but that wasn't what surprised her. Does he think I'm beautiful?

"I'm sorry…uhh…that was probably too personal," he sputtered and blushed.

Sweet Force, does he know how damned handsome that makes him!

"It's okay. You've been so open, Nejaa," she said softly. "I guess I've never found the right man. I've had my share of boyfriends, but none of them ever…" made me feel like you do, she finished silently. She swallowed hard and looked away from his penetrating gaze. "Emmm…ever was interesting enough for me to pursue anything serious," she recovered as seamlessly as she could.

"What about you and Ros?" Nejaa's question was quiet.

She looked back at him and laughed when she realized that he was serious. "Ros and I are just friends. Nothing more and we never will be. I love him, but it's the kind of love I think a sister would have for a brother, and that's how he feels about me. True, I lived with him for about a half a year as I finished school before going to the university, but I never even had the desire to kiss him. It would be like kissing my brother."

Nejaa chuckled at the face she made as she wrinkled her nose. "Funny. I think most of CorSec thinks differently though."

"Of course they do." She shook her head disgustedly. "They think he and I have been an item since I was seventeen. They just don't understand that a man and a woman can have a purely platonic relationship."

"He never talks about his family, only you. I can see where they would misunderstand that. I surely would have."

"Well, he's an only child like me. His father and mine were friends and we often played together as kids, though," she chuckled as she said, "if you were to ask him, he'd call me the pest that toddled after him everywhere he went. He is seven years older than me. His parents made him play with me. But after one of his chums started being mean to me, he saved me and we've been close ever since."

"What happened? I think he mentioned that the evening we met."

"Oh, yes. Brassly Callowin, his mother and mine are good friends, and Mazy is nice enough, but Brassly has the temperament of a sandpanther. At the time he and Ros were pretty good friends and I still think Ros put him up to it, but when I fell into the fountain and nearly drowned, he realized just how mean Brassly could be and how far he'd go to get rid of the 'pest'. Ros jumped in and saved me."

"How old were you?"

"I think three, maybe four."

"So, has this Brassly gotten any nicer toward you?"

She laughed. "Absolutely not. We can't stand each other, but our dear mothers have this fantasy that we should hook up." She shook her head and added, "They just don't understand that Corell will go nova before that happens."

He laughed at her expression and then asked, "So what happened to Ros's parents? I've been around CorSec enough to know that they were both highly thought of among the old timers."

"Actually, his mother's father was in the force as well. His parents were partnered and that's when they fell for each other. They got married, but chose to remain partners even though CorSec frowns upon that sort of thing. Anyway, when Ros was nineteen and had just entered the Academy, his parents were called off planet to investigate a smuggling ring based on Talus. Well, they never returned. They were caught in an ambush and were both killed."

"That's terrible. No wonder Ros understood what you were going through when your father died."

"Yeah, he really was my rock, and it was that shared experience that cemented our friendship. Before then we were close, but after Dad died we became as close as we are now."

They were quiet for a moment, sitting there and watched the water and listened to the soft, lulling sounds of the gently lapping water on the shore. Finally, she asked, "What's it like being a Jedi?" He looked at her questioningly. "I mean, what can you do? I've read that Jedi can read minds and levitate things great distances, but some of the stories just seem too far fetched. I mean I've read the history of the Sith Wars and all that. But you just seem so normal."

He raised a dark brow and she insisted, "You know what I mean. You don't even wear Jedi robes that much. I've met other Jedi who seemed so aloof that no one could ever touch them. You're so easy going, funny and…" she looked away quickly and stammered, "…and…well…you just seem like a regular guy."

He grinned at her and replied, "I am just a regular guy. I'm a Jedi and I love doing what I do, but I don't like being treated like I'm some sort of god. As for what I can do. I have two abilities that are considered rare among the Order. I can't read minds, but I have a keener sense at detecting feelings and the direction of thoughts."

She stared at him and couldn't help the blush that came over her cheeks. He smiled one of his lopsided smiles that caused her heart to skip a beat. But he didn't say whether he knew what direction her thoughts were going. She wasn't sure she wanted him to know. Part of her did, but another part wanted her feelings for him to remain her secret.

"I also can affect minds easier than most Jedi, even strong minds, by giving them illusions or suggestions. I can absorb large amounts of energy and transfer it back into the Force usually as telekinetic power, which ironically I normally don't have. I can trip a lock and I could possibly move a few of these grains of sand," he ran his hand through the fine mixture beside him, "but other than that I can't move a thing."

"That sounds so fascinating." And she was. She moved closer to him and when he looked up from the sand he was playing in, his eyes burned into her.

They got lost for a long time in each other's eyes. She suddenly couldn't breathe as he seemed to lean toward her. She felt thrilled and afraid all at once. Breathless, she whispered, "Why is it forbidden for Jedi to love?"

-x-

Nejaa was overwhelmed by the sudden desire to kiss her. Then she reminded him why he couldn't. He pulled away, but he couldn't look away. "Because love leads to attachment," he answered in a voice low and husky.

"But why is attachment bad?"

He leaned in again, unable to fight the draw of her full, red lips. "Because attachment leads to selfishness, possessiveness and can lead to anger if something happens those you love, which leads to the dark side."

Her breaths were coming rapidly as she rasped her next argument, "So love is selfish? Grief is wrong? I always thought love was the most unselfish thing a being could do. And grief is part of living."

He was so close now; their lips were only centimeters away. "Scerra…" he murmured and then brushed her lips with his. When she responded by pressing toward him, his arms went around her pulling her to him. Her hands went to his shoulders where they slid around his neck and into his unbound hair. They gazed at each other again. "Scerra…I've never felt like this for anyone."

She smiled and his heart missed a beat, he was sure of it. "Me neither, Nejaa."

"But it's wrong. I can't do this."

"I'm not asking for attachments. No strings, Nejaa. I just want to get to know you and see where this goes. But I don't expect anything that you can't give me." She pulled him closer to her, letting her lips touch his and she gently sucked on the top one. He couldn't stop himself. He began kissing her with a feverish passion. When she let out a moan and slightly opened her mouth under his hungry lips and questing tongue, he deepened the kiss.

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, then the need for air became too strong. They gasped as they came apart, but they didn't separate. She slowly opened her eyes and graced him with a pleased smile. He returned it and she breathlessly said, "I don't even want to know where a Jedi Master, who admitted to never being on a date before, learned to kiss like that."

He knew he blushed and she kissed him quickly on the lips. After pulling away, she said, "My mother has invited me to a dinner party tomorrow evening. It will be dull and boring, and I really had no intention of going, but would you like to come with me? You can protect me from Brassly Callowin."

He raised an eyebrow and asked amusingly, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

She grinned back. "I suppose I am."

He laughed and said, "Then I accept." He leaned over her again and captured her lips in another fiery kiss.

He suddenly wondered if they would ever make it off the beach that night as he pushed her onto her back to lie on his cape. They kissed until either one of them had the energy to do so again. Then he held her as they lied on his cape, watching the water and stars, and talked about all sorts of things.

By the time the first rays of Corell colored the eastern sky with streaks of orange and gold, Nejaa Halcyon knew that he was in love. And he didn't have a clue as to what he was going to do about it.

Thanks for reading...