Hey guys, I'm sorry to say that this will be the last chapter in Strange Happenings. We're running out of ideas so there's no point in doing more. I'll try to make this last one as good as possible.

Anna

Bella's POV:

It had been a bad night. A very bad night to be exact. It was mine and Edward's first real fight. I didn't know how to handle it. Usually one member of the couple would sleep on the couch, but seeing as I couldn't sleep . . . well that's a problem. I walked through the forest towards the house of my in-laws. I was going to talk to the person who had the most experience with marriage problems I knew – Rosalie. Seeing as Emmett was on the verge of coming out of the closet, there had to be a lot of issues. Rosalie kept trying to stuff him back into the closet, but he was too big so he was always, like, halfway out.

I walked into the door to find the atrium empty. I swiftly flew up the stair and down the hall to Emmett and Rosalie's room. My sensitive ears could hear a light banging coming from inside the room. Nothing I hadn't experienced. I quickly knocked on the door. Surprisingly, a fully clothed Rosalie flew the door open.

"Rosalie?" I asked quietly.

"Bella," she growled

"Umm . . . I was wondering if I could talk to you about marriage issues," I mumbled.

"Marriage issues?" she asked. "Are you suggesting I have marriage iss-"

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU SLUT! I'M SICK OF YOU FLIRTING WITH THE MAILMAN!" I heard Emmett boom.

Rosalie turned to face her room. "HEY! YOU FLIRT WITH HIM TOO! OH, THAT'S RIGHT I'VE SEEN YOU FLEX YOUR MUSCLES IN HIS DIRECTION!"

"THAT'S CUZ HE LIKES IT! HOW'S THAT FOR SOMETHING? SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE YOUR PERFECTLY CONDITIONED HAIR FLIP!"

Rosalie turned to face me. "Oh. My God. That was the last straw right there. C'mon Bella, we're going to a bar."

I quickly followed her to the convertible without a word.

Rosalie put the car in park and hopped out of the car. I sat frozen in my seat. "Rosalie, why are we at a bar?"

"This is where I always go when I have marriage problems. Just follow my lead."

I walked into the bar alongside her to find that every single inhabitant was a male.

"Rosalie, we're gonna get molested," I said.

She smiled. "I know."

I groaned. I wish Rosalie wasn't such a playa.

Suddenly everyone turned to see who had entered the bar. "ROSALIE! OH HEY IT'S ROSALIE!" everyone yelled.

Rosalie flipped her hair and walked to a stool. I did the same.

"Hey, who's your friend?" the bartender asked Rose.

"I'm Bella!" I said.

"Yeah . . ." Rosalie mumbled.

Rosalie swiveled around in her chair. "Ay Mo. Who's the hottie with a body in the corner?"

Mo looked over to see who she was talking about. "Oh I'm not sure, Rose. He's a new comer. I think his name is Josiah."

Rosalie strode over to Josiah with me trailing behind. "Are you Josiah?" Rosalie sighed.

He nodded. "Call me Jumbo Jo. Can I help you ladies?"

Rosalie nodded "We were lonely-"

"I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK!" he screamed.

"Well we were thinking more along the lines of you coming home with us."

"I WILL!"

Jumbo Jo followed us to the convertible and we drove him back to the mansion. "So what are we gonna do at your house? Can we play Scrabble?"

"Sure Jumbo Jo, sure . . ." Rosalie said.

We walked in the house with Jumbo Jo's arms draped over our shoulders.

Edward was walking around the living room throwing Pilates DVDs into his ankles. "Josiah, Josiah. WHO IS JOSIAH!" he screamed.

"I am JOSIAH!" Jumbo Jo said.

Edward screamed like a gay me. "BELLA WHY?!"

"Because you were being mean to me!" I screeched.

"Bella, all I said was that I think our love-making is a bad impression on Renesmee."

"Dude, she's with me now," Jumbo Jo said.

Edward took a step forward and glared at Jumbo Jo. "I can kill you with my pinky."

Jumbo Jo ran out of the house screaming.

"How are we a bad influence for Renesmee?" I snapped.

"She asked me for birth control pills . . ."

"So?"

"Bella, she's like six."

"That's bad, right?"

"YES!"

Suddenly a strange bald man ran out from Emmett and Rosalie's room and out the door screaming "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE MARRIED!"

Rosalie's jaw fell open. "EMMETT IS THAT THE MAILMAN?!"

"MAYBE . . ."

HAHAHA GOTCHA! THAT WASN'T THE LAST CHAPTER! Aren't I a clever one?